Why Nobody Likes RAF Police
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Originally Posted by clicker
And of course The Ugly goes without saying. 
Just shows the comparative size of the brains of the K-9 Team.
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I once had the "honour" of being the bearer of a sealed briefcase to bring back to UK which contained the details of the nefarious activities of certain people who resided in an island close to (but just west of) the UK.
HM Customs : "Please open that briefcase Sir"
Me: NO (producing document which asserted that the document was not liable to Customs search).
Customs: I will have to detain you.
Special Branch: Oh no you ******* won't.
HM Customs : "Please open that briefcase Sir"
Me: NO (producing document which asserted that the document was not liable to Customs search).
Customs: I will have to detain you.
Special Branch: Oh no you ******* won't.
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And why has plod got a flag pole sticking out of his head?
Not going to say anything about PD Fang, I'm working with police dogs on training next week for a couple of days. Must remember to hide well or at least with enough cover that they can't get at me. I still have a reminder from one time when I didn't
Oh and avoid bloodhounds, we've just got one in the force and it sobers so badly anyone it finds is likely to drown if the handler doesnt get there quickly.
Not going to say anything about PD Fang, I'm working with police dogs on training next week for a couple of days. Must remember to hide well or at least with enough cover that they can't get at me. I still have a reminder from one time when I didn't
Oh and avoid bloodhounds, we've just got one in the force and it sobers so badly anyone it finds is likely to drown if the handler doesnt get there quickly.
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Porr Engglish
Scene: EGAA during the mid-nineties.
My flying jacket had gone missing from the crewroom, and in order to claim on my insurance I had to obtain some form of crime reference number, which of course necessitated me making a statement to the RAFP.
A/Cpl Plod arrived at *** Sqn and I made him some tea whilst he asked such probing questions as...'what colour was the flying jacket, and where did you get it from' etc. To save time (?) he wrote the statement himself before presenting it to me for signature.
The quality of his written English was so stunningly poor I felt unable to sign the statement, and asked him to either have another go, (I thought perhaps the poor chap might be intimidated by the free tea, biscuits and casual aircrew crewroom atmosphere) or alternatively, allow me to write it, as I believe should be the case.
At this point he lept to his feet, knocked over my tea, made a hasty apology and said he'd return with it 'all printed up'.
I seem to remember that the good old SHFNI Squippers made up for my loss in return for a quick whizz around in the Plastic Pig; but as it's been over ten years now, do readers think I should give up on waiting for the statement to arrive, and is this a reflection on the inefficiencies of those who protect us whilst we sleep ?
MoT
My flying jacket had gone missing from the crewroom, and in order to claim on my insurance I had to obtain some form of crime reference number, which of course necessitated me making a statement to the RAFP.
A/Cpl Plod arrived at *** Sqn and I made him some tea whilst he asked such probing questions as...'what colour was the flying jacket, and where did you get it from' etc. To save time (?) he wrote the statement himself before presenting it to me for signature.
The quality of his written English was so stunningly poor I felt unable to sign the statement, and asked him to either have another go, (I thought perhaps the poor chap might be intimidated by the free tea, biscuits and casual aircrew crewroom atmosphere) or alternatively, allow me to write it, as I believe should be the case.
At this point he lept to his feet, knocked over my tea, made a hasty apology and said he'd return with it 'all printed up'.
I seem to remember that the good old SHFNI Squippers made up for my loss in return for a quick whizz around in the Plastic Pig; but as it's been over ten years now, do readers think I should give up on waiting for the statement to arrive, and is this a reflection on the inefficiencies of those who protect us whilst we sleep ?
MoT
Last edited by miles offtarget; 18th Jun 2006 at 20:52.
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Originally Posted by woptb
Clicker,If they do have any "sobering" powers please ensure that the're kept on a lead 
Whoop's,
that will teach me to try writing replies after midnight.Of course it was a slobbering bloodhound. Would not wish anyone to try that as a hangover cure although I came close to it this morning!
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Snowdrop reply
As you can see by my lack of posts I've recently joined this site, so to see the broad tar brush being weilded by such literary geniuses as fantaman I feel I should grasp the brush and join you.
Having started my career as a 'brain on a chain' technician
at Northolt and now finishing at my 22yr point, to be promoted to civvy, I thought I might give a few barrier monitor stories and please feel free to be tarred with the same trade brush. (in fact, delete trade and add customer, it's more user friendly to you - the customer)
MTD The habitual thief, who's now doing time in Her Majestys' Hotel. He claimed we were harrassing him, up until the point we searched his room and opened an Alladins' cave. Also the bully boy team of MTDs who have now been kicked out for dealing and using class A drugs.
Wouldn't be any officers doing that would there? Oh yes the tragic accident of the jockey who ploughed his car into a tree....found to have cocaine and amphetamine in his system. Bet none of you would do such a thing would you
......Would you?
What about the number of commisioned officers my colleagues and I have dealt with for downloading/distributing indecent images of children? Or the medics ( 3 in a group to be exact) for smoking cannabis during lunchtime then going back to work. Oh yes one of thos in the group worked in Comcen. Hey this tarring thing is great isnt it. Still none of these are you though are they!! Pers admin who exposed himself to his daughters friend in his MQ and told her not to tell anyone. The rocks (magpies as we know them theiving from their so called best mates to feather their own nest) who bullied one of their own to the point of him being rushed to hospital after he attempted to commit suicide. When we knicked the BIG HARD MAGPIES, all were physically shaking (four in total) and the biggest of the bunch had to be given a hankerchief in his cell to wipe his eyes and blow his nose. Oh yes I'll get to all those barrier stories in a bit.
The squipper who was a heroin addict and would shoot up in the morning not needing another fix until tea, which he could deal with until after 9/11 and the need to work on into the night on the sqn checking and fitting your jockey seats etc (barriers coming soon honest). He would go back to his room after tea and have another fix.
The rapes and serious sexual assaults of various kinds carried out by a variety of customers such as a Techy (as was), Rock (magpie), Medic, Painter and finisher, steward, scopy, PTI and supplier (and these are only the cases I can remember!).
The magpie selling a LA85A2 weapon system in it's component parts on e bay, including all your tactical booklets etc etc
Oh yes as for not doing anything of any worth in the RAF, The IED victim missing a limb that i had to get a statement from who later thanked me for helping him talk about what happened to him and the loss of his best mate, the multiple cdr, would argue with that, or the road moves up and down theatre in Iraq in order to deal with the roadside IED crime scenes, mopping up the remains photographing the victims. If i see any more bodily matter splattered inside a snatch and smell the burnt remains it'll be a day too soon. My colleagues dealt with the Herc and recent Heli attacks and I was part of the team dealing, processing, interviewing the insurgents responsible for the killing of the two Paras but hey what do we do which is anywhere near as good as you lot of tar brushing elite!! (doing 6 month dets and regularly outside the wire - I saw a lot of 4 monthers cosily tucked up behind the wire at the APOD and SLB. I'm sure they've come back with the war stories of mortar attacks blah blah blah!)
I could go on but feel I'm wasting your valuable 'snowdrops get a proper job and stop wasting the RAFs money' time. As for the woodentops (civvy bobbies who KNOW !?? what we do, clearly have not worked with us or are ex mob and not RAFP trade and were not on my CID cse at W yorks Police or Drugs Cse at Kent Police Etc Etc. I suspect they're all flat feet, walking the streets with little or no annotations. All the civvy bobbies I've worked with and have asked for our assistance (incl major crime) have all praised our professionalism and we have regular contact and respect each others abilities.
So I'm talking to you paedophillic drug taking officers (jockeys and shiny trousers) and you drug taking/dealing, perverted, theiving, bullying, rapists who are the customers of ours. We all have annecdotal evidence that is the tar to be put on a very wide brush and shove in the face of the coppers. Easy isn't it. Can't wait to see the 'bout time you did something' reposte. Best form of defence is attack that's what I say. You silence is deafening
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speak soon. Who knows, might be coming to a Unit near you soon paedos
Having started my career as a 'brain on a chain' technician
at Northolt and now finishing at my 22yr point, to be promoted to civvy, I thought I might give a few barrier monitor stories and please feel free to be tarred with the same trade brush. (in fact, delete trade and add customer, it's more user friendly to you - the customer) MTD The habitual thief, who's now doing time in Her Majestys' Hotel. He claimed we were harrassing him, up until the point we searched his room and opened an Alladins' cave. Also the bully boy team of MTDs who have now been kicked out for dealing and using class A drugs.
Wouldn't be any officers doing that would there? Oh yes the tragic accident of the jockey who ploughed his car into a tree....found to have cocaine and amphetamine in his system. Bet none of you would do such a thing would you
......Would you?What about the number of commisioned officers my colleagues and I have dealt with for downloading/distributing indecent images of children? Or the medics ( 3 in a group to be exact) for smoking cannabis during lunchtime then going back to work. Oh yes one of thos in the group worked in Comcen. Hey this tarring thing is great isnt it. Still none of these are you though are they!! Pers admin who exposed himself to his daughters friend in his MQ and told her not to tell anyone. The rocks (magpies as we know them theiving from their so called best mates to feather their own nest) who bullied one of their own to the point of him being rushed to hospital after he attempted to commit suicide. When we knicked the BIG HARD MAGPIES, all were physically shaking (four in total) and the biggest of the bunch had to be given a hankerchief in his cell to wipe his eyes and blow his nose. Oh yes I'll get to all those barrier stories in a bit.
The squipper who was a heroin addict and would shoot up in the morning not needing another fix until tea, which he could deal with until after 9/11 and the need to work on into the night on the sqn checking and fitting your jockey seats etc (barriers coming soon honest). He would go back to his room after tea and have another fix.
The rapes and serious sexual assaults of various kinds carried out by a variety of customers such as a Techy (as was), Rock (magpie), Medic, Painter and finisher, steward, scopy, PTI and supplier (and these are only the cases I can remember!).
The magpie selling a LA85A2 weapon system in it's component parts on e bay, including all your tactical booklets etc etc
Oh yes as for not doing anything of any worth in the RAF, The IED victim missing a limb that i had to get a statement from who later thanked me for helping him talk about what happened to him and the loss of his best mate, the multiple cdr, would argue with that, or the road moves up and down theatre in Iraq in order to deal with the roadside IED crime scenes, mopping up the remains photographing the victims. If i see any more bodily matter splattered inside a snatch and smell the burnt remains it'll be a day too soon. My colleagues dealt with the Herc and recent Heli attacks and I was part of the team dealing, processing, interviewing the insurgents responsible for the killing of the two Paras but hey what do we do which is anywhere near as good as you lot of tar brushing elite!! (doing 6 month dets and regularly outside the wire - I saw a lot of 4 monthers cosily tucked up behind the wire at the APOD and SLB. I'm sure they've come back with the war stories of mortar attacks blah blah blah!)
I could go on but feel I'm wasting your valuable 'snowdrops get a proper job and stop wasting the RAFs money' time. As for the woodentops (civvy bobbies who KNOW !?? what we do, clearly have not worked with us or are ex mob and not RAFP trade and were not on my CID cse at W yorks Police or Drugs Cse at Kent Police Etc Etc. I suspect they're all flat feet, walking the streets with little or no annotations. All the civvy bobbies I've worked with and have asked for our assistance (incl major crime) have all praised our professionalism and we have regular contact and respect each others abilities.
So I'm talking to you paedophillic drug taking officers (jockeys and shiny trousers) and you drug taking/dealing, perverted, theiving, bullying, rapists who are the customers of ours. We all have annecdotal evidence that is the tar to be put on a very wide brush and shove in the face of the coppers. Easy isn't it.
Can't wait to see the 'bout time you did something' reposte. Best form of defence is attack that's what I say. You silence is deafening !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Speak soon. Who knows, might be coming to a Unit near you soon paedos
Originally Posted by terry towelling
Too boring to repeat what TT wrote...
Last edited by ZH875; 21st Jun 2006 at 22:07.
TAC Int Bloke
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Your mitigating evidence has touched our very souls,
however, sod off skuffer, why not let your brain on a chain post for a while?
Edited to add, beaten to it by ZH875 - oh, the shame!
Barrier UP!
however, sod off skuffer, why not let your brain on a chain post for a while?
Edited to add, beaten to it by ZH875 - oh, the shame!
Barrier UP!