Why Nobody Likes RAF Police

[PompeySailor]

Originally Posted by An Teallach

Am I alone in detecting a faint whiff of Eau de Walt emanating from this thread of late?

Hardly! Why on earth would anyone want to "Walt" it as a Service Policeman? Just to prove that they could have made it in civvy street as a real copper, but just decided that they would rather do it in the Forces?

[An Teallach]

Here's some to be going on with, Pompey.
http://www.redcapsatwar.co.uk/

[Maple 01]

Can I name and shame the Copper that couldn't change combinations and had to ask me to do it for him? Therefore I could get into his secret draws (oo-er) or perhaps a PPRuNer could give an overview of P&SSs' witchfinding skills.

Edit: An Teallach what sick perverse thing were you looking for when you found that?

[An Teallach]

Maple, old chum - I seemed to remember RMP Walts appearing in another place, hence a google was in order to illustrate to Pompey that there is no depth to which the Walt will not sink!

Cx PMs!

[PompeySailor]

Walt Redcaps! How frightening is that? Especially the bit which says that you can join "if you already have your own uniform" and you get issued with a "CMP Warrant Card".

These guys seem a little bit keen for re-enactors (ie site security...)

Then there is "You will also be legible for discounts at certain militaria / uniform suppliers" - how do you become "illegible"?

[Maple 01]

green slime int boy

Just because I knew some green slime doesn’t make me one! My beret was finest Russian Hussar blue, with coffee and chinagraph stains obviously

[Skunkerama]

Originally Posted by PompeySailor

But you are still at the whim of a 9 year served ex-Wren who turned one area of the site into her own personal chat room......

She is a bit of a care bear at times. I think th emodding here is a bit more overbearing though, I had a thread culled just cause I ripped into the french...I thought it was expected of me.

[airborne_artist]

Did you know that Redcaps like a bit of boy-on-boy action? So it seems on the walts' site..

[An Teallach]

Maple - Just as well you're not green slime! There's a distinct Cypress tinge to the beret of that lad. You'd better hope that Terence Walter Towelling isn't similarly attracted to RAF Int types.
Ooooh Mmmaaaatron! Be Afraid, be very afraid!

[Maple 01]

I see your point AT (oo-er) you'd have thought he'd have offered dinner and a movie first......no manners some people.........

[Green Meat]

Fuuny old thing about Walts, they do just keep appearing out of the woodwork!

At a public vehicle rally, I noticed a somewhat misplaced Snowdrop doing some rather odd things. On approaching said chap (and noting that he really was dressed for the part), I asked him for his 1250.

After trying to bluff for a moment, he rather sheepishly admitted that he wasn't who he was purporting to be. I did see him again at another event, but this time was wearing something Khaki, hairy and above all, old enough to be his grandmother

[FOMere2eternity]

Must be bad enough being one - but you've got to worry about people who impersonate RAF coppers!

Put another way, if you impersonated a traffic warden should you be allowed your freedom?

[Il Duce]

A Cpl of the RAF police entered SHQ late one evening and was surprised to find the lights still on in a couple of offices. After further investigation he found OC Admin in the photo-copying room puzzling over the myriad of technological machines and instruments of electronic administration before him. "Evening, Sir, working late are we?" Cpl enquires.
"Er, hello, corporal. Yes, just catching up on some paperwork. Actually I'm glad you're here. Truth is, all this bloody technology is a bit beyond me and I can't seem to get this damn machine to work. Can you help?" Cpl sees chance to impress and steps forward purposefully. "Leave it to me, sir!" as he grabs the dozen or so sheets of paper from the Wg Cdr and leans forward to switch the shredder on at the mains. As he feeds the papers into depths of the shredder the Wg Cdr says, "Well done Cpl, great job. I'll need six copies each of those, thank you."

[airborne_artist]

Then there is "You will also be legible for discounts at certain militaria / uniform suppliers" - how do you become "illegible"?

If your parents were married before you were born, perhaps?

[An Teallach]

Then there is "You will also be legible for discounts at certain militaria / uniform suppliers" - how do you become "illegible"?

Get an MB ChB and become a General Practitioner.

[fightingchickenplumb]

My RAFP experiences

hey guys now i have my loggin sorted i thougt i would tell you of a few experiences i had with our finest RAFP , some good, most bad though.

First the good one, when i finishes recruit training at Halton my course was delayed three weeks so i was stiffed with a week of night shift guard, there was me 3 othe ACs and two RAFP corprals and a SGT RAFP. First night of guard the SNCO told us the next time we called them by rank we would be cleaning out the kennels and it was all first name terms, during the course of the week those three blokes were tops, sound as a pound , (they were all substansive) i took ill during that week the SNCO came round the block with some magazines for me , stuff like that like. So Yes I do appreciate there are RAFP out there who are sound like, now for the amusing stories......

when i finished the above guard i was on leave, the first time of my RAF career and i was full of the joys of life, all i had to do was go to stores and grab a new berret,(i was in my civies at this point)a group of maybe 5 SACs went through the gate flashed there IDs and customery "morning mate" i approached and showed him my 1250 the conversation went like this .......

Me :- "morning buddy, nice morning?"
18yr old RAFP:- "let me see your ID please"
i handed him the 1250,after about 20 seconds
RAFP:- are you on a course here?
Me:- no am on TDF waiting for my course to start at cosford
Pause as his brain tries to work
RAFP:- well MR ******, I am not your mate and the next time you call me mate i will have you sent to colchester, am going to see your boss later

I was slightly stunned at the guys atttitude and manor like

Me:- well look first of all cpl. my ID says am a AC not MR so address me by my rank please,second there is no way the RAF will let you throw me in the glass house for calling you mate , and thirdly go see my boss however as far as he is concerned i am on leave and when i get back ai leave the next morning.

RAFP :- bu bu but you cant talk to me like that,
Me:- Look your happy thats me on the 1250 am off to grab my bag and catch my train, have a good day

And i walked off, yes i was in the wrong , however he didnt need to speak to me in a way to make me feel as though i was something his brain left in its kennel, i was only trying to be civil. my second story involving happened a couple of year ago..

it was the 22nd of december, i had fked up , (i was five minutes late i think)so my "punishment" was to get some mince meat pies for the weapons desk, we had to dro some PSPs back to the bay, so i stayed in my overalls and my mate who drives threw on some blues we put the PSPs in the wagon, and the plan was i would take the PSPs back to the bay and sort the paperworkmy mate would go to the SPAR and get the pies, five minutes after am dropped off my mate returns minus pies "the SPAR has none we will need to nick into the village jump in" ON LEAVING CAMP WE WAVED TO THE RAFP AND HE WAVED BACK, so we toddle down to the village return sporting a dozen pies get to the gate, (am in overalls, hi-viz vest and ear defenders,in a service vehicle with someone in RAF uniform)

RAFP:- morning can i see your car pas
my mate:- yeah there its
RAFP:- your 1250s
my mate showed him his
Me:- Eh yeah I dont seem to have mines with me
RAFP:- where is it i can charge you for not having it
Me:- well its in my locker
RAFP:- why you should carry it at ALL time
ME:- But i cant, i was working a jet and its a FOD hazard
RAFP:- You arent on a jet now are you? How do you expect to get on MY camp?
Me:- yeah i didnt realise i would be off camp, we had to grab some pies from the village( trying to plead my case) and my mate here can vouch who i say i am
RAFP:-No he cant
Me:- Why?
RAFP:- because i dont believe him, go to the guard room,phone your section, get someone to come to come down from the Sqn to establish your identity and get a temporary ID!

I went in to guard room where my bosses wife unknown to me at the time worked explained my case and she came out and vouched for me, tyical copper full of xmass cheer, again he was right i was wrong but he could have shown a bit more tact. by getting me to get one of the sqn lads to come down he was trying to cause as much hassle for me at work as possible like for no reason.

My last story doesnt directly involve me however we sat with open jaws when we heard, one wedensdaynight 1am our phone goes, "this is over on Q, are you using your wagon?" he asks "no why?". It transpired that A had driven over to the block in the QRA van (the QRA wagon has QRA all over it in, its so well known no one bothers to ID you in it) to pick up some stuff, parked up outside the block and left the keys in the ignition, not the brightest thing but no major biggie, he emerged from the block , to find the keys missing,phoned the the QRA commander, the QRA phoned the cops and advised them the lad was needed fo servicea Q jet, the cops told him there was no way the would give the keys back to the lad untill he presented himself for a meeting with FS police with all his documents and in blues , to disscuss "the need for service vehicle security", when the SNCO pointed out the lad was on QRA duty, the SNCO was told that the essentially that was not the RAFP fault and the lad should have thought about that before he left the keys, and there was no way he would get the keys back before 9am next morning. the QRA commander asked whether the RAFP wanted him to inform the strike that northen Q was off state, they told him "thats your call" At this point our JENGO got involved, a few phone calls later and one pissed off OC ENG, the keys were delivered eventually back to the lad, we heard later in the week the old OC police had every member of the the police flight in the crew room at attention to explain the importance of QRA, then had them go over to QRA for a tour to remind them of the reason the station is there (Nice one sir , where ever you are now!) O the new OC plod doesnt believe in visual recognition of people now so the guard force now have a 100% 1250 check and he has told them that he will charge any guard who doesnt ID him at the gate, wonder how long that will last!!!!!

Now i told youy theses anncedotes to amuse you and high light my experiences with coppers, now in every case we were in the wrong but its the coppers people skills that largely irritate the rest of the RAF, but lets not forget though its not just coppers in my abate limited experience the further people are from the aircraft the more bull**** you have to cut through to get stuff done,and i include techie bays in that too by the way. a LAC threatend to charge me for being late in the med centre for being 5mins late for the appointment,when i had a 15min wait at the runway traffic lights.PSF P1 who bollocked me out for whistling on my way to work , (as he leaned out a window smoking) and the PSF adminer who told me to come back on monday for my rail card(someone handed it in) as the lad who dealt with it went home for the wknd, at 11am on a friday.

terry mate chill out, if i had to throw my dummy out my cot every time ppl take the mick pout of plumbers i would be stir crazy at the minute, ok bud

anyways i awiat your replies and observations

[ShyTorque]

This mentality that requires to see an ID card every time even for a person known to the security operative has always intrigued me.

Surely the whole idea is to ensure the person requiring entry is correctly identified. Any ID can be forged. A person, appearing in person cannot. However, one supposes that this requires some initiative on behalf of the security personnel.

Initiative...mmm!

In '85 I was flying a Gazelle (Exercise Lionheart) for the purpose of Airfield Damage Repair Recce. As soon as possible after an air raid we were required to recce the airfield and complete a paper map report in the air, logging any bomb craters or other items requiring attention. As this was done in radio silence the SOP was to hover over the Commcen carpark and drop the completed report form through the message chute in a weighted bag. The RAF policeman outside was briefed to immediately get the report inside.

Day one, air raids came and went, no problem, system worked well.

Day two, second Gazelle was in use (different hull letter). First air raid over, we got airborne, completed our recce and hovered over the carpark, as before. The Royal Engineer observer opened the message chute and dropped the report in its bag, as before. The RAFP on duty, (same policeman as yesterday) immediately sprang into action. Great.

Except that instead of picking up the message, he took out his 9mm pistol and aimed it upwards, simulating the firing of ten rounds into the aircraft hovering above him, apparently shouting "Bang, Bang, Bang!"

Policeman was debriefed shortly after. He said that yesterday the aircraft had an "F" for friend painted on its nose - today it had an "E" for enemy - so he shot it down......

True story!!

[FormerFlake]

I can remember having a request for Plasma/LCD screen turned down, not for costs though. It was becuase the RAFP said we could not plug it into CCIS as no one else was allowed to see our screen while we were logged in.

Just how are Int supposed to brief crews flying into Iraq/Afgn then?



I remember doing my U SY Os course and we all invited there 2 scuffer instructors out with us that evening for a beer. They nearly fainted, we were the first course to do it!!!! That says it all...

[interpretrix]

ROYAL AIR FORCE POLICE(SNOWDROPS)

There are far too many complaints about the RAF Police. They are responsible for Discipline and Security in addition to law enforcement. Some may be bad apples but most are not. They are also underrpaid considering their responsibilities and should be higher pay band and substantive corporals on completing their course.

[Roadster280]

Originally Posted by interpretrix

There are far too many complaints about the RAF Police. They are responsible for Discipline and Security in addition to law enforcement. Some may be bad apples but most are not. They are also underrpaid considering their responsibilities and should be higher pay band and substantive corporals on completing their course.

Surely this is a "come-on"?

OK, I'll bite. I'd venture to suggest that the MT driver who drives a bus full of children to the XMAS outing has a whole lot more responsibility on his shoulders than the plod guarding a building.

Sub Cpl on completion of a noddy course? In your dreams. Maybe the RAF needs a JNCO rank specifically for RAFP. Not like a JT, who is not an NCO. A rank which is an NCO rank, and therefore can issue orders, but of sufficiently minimal standing that it is an admin convenience. Like the Redcap LCPLs.

The fact is that nearly all ranks and trades in all the forces have a need to exist, to ensure that the job is done. Some are more essential than others though, and of the RAF ground trades, the ones that get the aircraft in the air with all the right bits on them are the more important ones. Sure, the chefs need to feed the techies, and the Dibble needs to guard the airfield, but at the end of the day, the most basic things that everyone learns in the forces is how to guard and feed themselves.

That said, the RAF Police have an outstanding role in the "blue light taxi" service, and I got on just fine with the Snowdrops when I served with the RAF. Mostly because they were sub Cpls in their late 20s, not snot nosed little $hits, and those that were, were kept in check by the older hands. We helped them out with Army bits of kit that they weren't scaled for, and they left us alone. Good deal all round.