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Middle East Many expats still flying in Knoteetingham. Regional issues can be discussed here.

Does this ring a bell ?

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Old 10th Nov 2008, 07:46
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Does this ring a bell ?

Hello to you all desperate out there....

With a little anticipation, here is the next show...it is not about cabin crew, it is a special request of one reader asking me how I saw life down here...
Since I will have to go back to the civilized but depressed part of the world, I will see you in about 10 days....

Thomas reads an advertisement in flight international. This advertisement is full of lies, but he doesn’t' t know it yet.
Since he is depressed by the almost global economical meltdown and fed up of changing company all the time, he decides to believe in the add and applies.
He talks about it to the wife, who is fed up of working, and they both agree (for once...) : it is a good choice.
Since Thomas is not a complete moron, he makes it trough the selection program and one day there he is on his way to Hell.
He thinks he is like the people in the 1900's going to America and a dream.... when in reality he just boarded the Titanic.
He arrives a fresh morning (so to speak...) of October in the middle east (which in reality, as he will soon discover, should be named the middle of nowhere...) and then enters the company accommodation, which happens to be in the middle of nowhere of the city that is in the middle of nowhere of the place that should be named the middle of nowhere.... (I know it’s complicated but think of it.)
So, there he is happy for a fresh new start...
Having received a lot of money from the company to assist him survive the thermonuclear shockwave that is to come, he starts to buy anything and everything.... already, he should have known. This behavior is like when you go to the casino: drinks are free so not only you will loose money faster, but eventually also forget you lost it...
Anyway, he soon attends the training sessions and is happy to have finally found someone who knows less than him, but still better than when he will have to deal with the cabin crew, who know absolutely nothing, except the tech specs of the latest Nokia phone.
His wife in the meantime is above happiness; she doesn't have to work anymore and can feel every day like being Cleopatra commanding an army of slaves...
Her dream has come true; she can spend tons of money buying things no one needs, in the most beautiful malls of the world. Everything looks like Las Vegas, without the casinos, without csi, but with the same type of girls and an even worse taste for architecture.
Since he is still in the early stages of life in paradise soon to be hell, he convinces his best friend bob (who is single...) to join the company as well.
Bob being a playboy obsessed by money, he sees in this an opportunity to test new grounds...and joins.
Bob soon discovers that this place is made for him, and realizes that in the middle of nowhere you can make as much money selling booze and condoms than you can make selling oil....
The happy family is now organizing more and more barbecues with lots of people they call friends, and during which they hear very interesting stories about mark who dates jenny, but jenny is having an affair with Elisabeth while being married to José, José likes Philip but cannot do his coming out, Philip is with everybody, and in the end everybody has a headache. It is either that or either listen to the story of this guy who crossed the outer marker at 320 kts, upside down, single engine, dual hydraulic failure and still made it stabilized by 500 feet so that flight safety wouldn't call him in. he is a super hero, iron man now looks like a joke, and everybody loves him.
What everybody should be talking about thaw is the fact that having more money (surely, and some of them have demonstrated to be unable to handle that...), more education (really?), being of a different skin color (sometimes) and being smarter (remains to be seen) doesn’t give them the right to treat other people, they sometimes have the indecency to call slaves, like ****.
But that is not going to happen:
1.because its not funny to talk about that.
2.because everybody is too drunk.
3.because after their first summer in the middle of nowhere, they all lost their brains, and also their souls...

So, life goes on, and every day he feels more and more like living the story in the book 1984. But there is no big brother; here the name of the ones watching and talking about your life is desperate housewives.
The middle of nowhere is slowly but surely becoming the next temptation island, because his wife is on her way to become Martha Stewart.
Everyday he wonders how come everybody can be so much in the hurry of doing nothing, and is fed up of risking his life on the streets where everybody drives like in Mario kart.

He understood that the middle of nowhere is a refugee camp for all the people who want to be hired by companies who have never heard about a psychometric test.

He now dreams every night about bad things happening to pretty much everybody, and realized he boarded the Titanic. But the Titanic's trip last only 3 days, and his will be like the story of the movie groundhog day, for the next 15 years...

I know guys... it deserves an Oscar in the sadness category...next week will be better with the typical day of a cabin crew...
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 03:23
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ff
...let me add the following,

Disillusioned with getting j**ked around, he looks beyond the middle of nowhere for a solution to all that bothers him about this place. Something to save them from becoming something less than what they were before they got here. The time has come to move beyond those who look at the middle of nowhere through rose coloured glasses with a glass of denial in their hands.
He begins to realize, he hasn't excaped a single thing only moved to a new prison. Groundhog day indeed. He resigns and is greeted when he gets back to that subsidized housing in the middle of nowhere with tears of anger and shouts of outrage that now their soft life and good times are dead. It's your fault.
She doesn't want to go back to the land of debt and taxes to a thankless job that will consign her to a life of boredom in a world surrounded by those who couldn't begin to understand her constant complaining.
What of their original purpose to make a new life and find riches they never imagined back home? The life of leisure in the land called the middle of nowhere?

You have no idea what it's like to return to reality and neither do your colleagues. But let me tell you, if you think the middle of nowhere sucks, just wait till you come back to reality. The middle of nowhere ain't so bad. Make your adjustments there and you may find life improves.

best of luck,
Willie
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 04:15
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This is sooooooo true ...
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 04:52
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Willie mate you took the words off my screen!

There are many many frankly crazy and wrong things here, but on the whole (and I do have a great deal of sympathy with those in temp accom) life IS BETTER HERE. To be frank there are more crazy and wrong things back home.

It is what YOU make of it. So it ll depends if you a Half Full or Half Empty bod really.

The first thing I would do if it's all getting too much is..............get off pprune as those who are the most content don't spend much time here.

Eh look it's sunny today too

Alwayz
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 04:59
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32. when you really believe in what you say.
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 06:38
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ff - having a bad day???????? Again!!!!!
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 09:14
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No, not at all...

just some thoughts....
I hope i am not hurting anyone...
just reality, with some sense of humour...
Tonight, just before falling asleep, ask yourself : is there anything in what i said that is not in one way or another true ?
regards.
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 09:35
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You know, ff, you remind me of a guy I used to fly with.

He was in the RAF and wasn't happy
So he left and joined Brittania and wasn't happy,
So he left and joined Royal Brunai and wasn't happy
So he left and joined Ansett and wasn't happy,
So he left to run a Dry Cleaners in North Carolina (don't know if he was happy, but I can guess!!)

Of course, along the way-

He wasn't happy single, so he married Wife No1,
He wasn't happy, so he left her for Wife No2,
He wasn't happy, so he left her for wife No3........

Some time or other you have to take an honest look at yourself and work out it's not your job, you surroundings, or even who you're married to that determines whether you're a happy person or not.

If you constantly feel like a miserable sod, it's probably because you ARE a miserable sod, and no-one can fix it but you!!
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 09:58
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Hello to you aswell...

You remind me of a lot of guys i fly with.

they have no sense of humour.
they cannot read ( if you would, you would see that i never said the company was making me unhappy...).
they don't understand what a metaphore is.
And they spend 8 hours of cruise telling me how happy they are, and how much they love their wives, after which they spend all their layover running after anything that has a pair of boobes.

regards.
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 12:21
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Tonight, just before falling asleep, ask yourself : is there anything in what i said that is not in one way or another true ?
Err-yeah, hilarious.

As to Metaphor (no "e"), yes, I know what one is, you'll just have to steer me to the metaphorical passage in you post- seems more like third person hypothetical to me.

they cannot read ( if you would, you would see that i never said the company was making me unhappy...).
If you read what I wrote, you'll see that I didn't either. You made some observations, I made some back (Actually, I tried an Analogy), not realizing that the rules are that everyone was only allowed to agree with you and compliment you on your razor wit- my apologies.
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 12:24
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I've got to agree with WofO - I looked at this post in a fairly baffled way, sounds like the metaphorical speech of someone on 'crack'.. Laugh??? Frown more like trying to work out what the fellow's on about..

And yes ff, my sense of humour is just fine thankyou....
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 13:55
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Just what we need to lighten upour days. A manic depressive, serial blogger. Things were getting a bit dull on the ME forum so maybe this is the mod trying to spice it up a bit.
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 15:03
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Finally..it looks like someone got it...

and no ...not maniac depressive at all...
i guess the typical day of a single guy is not going to make me popular....
but then again....
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 15:15
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wooz and w.k...

There is a thing called second or even third degree...just like second and third segment...
But i guess some people forgot about it, or didn't even know it existed...
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 15:58
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flying.fantofella.

Er, you're not in command of anything, are you?
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 16:13
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definitely not of my wife
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 16:17
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you should change your name,
if it is reference to the python, you lack their sense of humour.
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 16:51
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i think you guys miss the point... it's not a bitch session like so many other pilot board bloggers... rather an amusing commentary

why do you think every movie ever made isn't a peachy feel good disney flick?

sometimes a little dark humor is a welcome reprive, and frankly i am finding it rather entertaining
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 17:04
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Hurra hurra hurra.....
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Old 11th Nov 2008, 17:52
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Finally..it looks like someone got it...
Err... Looks like YOU didn't. he was being S A R C A S T I C ...

Look it up....
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