Single Life At Emirates
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givemewings - Oh come on, it was funny if not politically correct, I'm a woman and I laughed. We all know the girls have similar concepts & 'stereotypes' of their own....
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Don't leave the crowd hanging...give us the female version.
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Don't leave the crowd hanging...give us the female version.
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To reaffirm Mullahs argument: Todays average woman is pretty good looking ( Image is a composite picture generated using multiple images of women from various nationalities )
http://kuvaton.com/browse/16925/average_faces.jpg
In case the link above does not work, try http://i52.tinypic.com/sg3fnm.jpg
http://kuvaton.com/browse/16925/average_faces.jpg
In case the link above does not work, try http://i52.tinypic.com/sg3fnm.jpg
no list yet but here's something for you in the meantime.
In fitting in with the theme of stereotypes on this thread I thought this video sent to me by a friend was pretty damn funny... he had a good layover! (Note: likely to offend if you are a pilot with no sense of humour)
YouTube - Icelandair Crew 2011 Annual Ball Video!!
(Just wish there was an English translation at the end)
In fitting in with the theme of stereotypes on this thread I thought this video sent to me by a friend was pretty damn funny... he had a good layover! (Note: likely to offend if you are a pilot with no sense of humour)
YouTube - Icelandair Crew 2011 Annual Ball Video!!
(Just wish there was an English translation at the end)
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(Just wish there was an English translation at the end)
Great vid
Reminds me somewhat of some people I know here ahem
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I'll add a few :
French : Filthy in bed and out.
Swiss : A bit like a Fiat (morel ike an Alfa!) on a cold wet morning. Takes a long time to get them started but once they do, the results can be unexpectedly good, or bad. Usually bad.
Polish : Generally far superior to every other nationality in terms of looks, personality, performance, cleanliness and being good company. Unfortunately sooner or later the question of 'financial assistance' always seems to arise. And when they are bad, they are really bad!
Romanian : See Polish, but minus 10-20% on all counts.
Moldavian : See Romanian but minus another 30% for some of the worst teeth you'll anywhere. I believe Dracula was Moldavian, not Transylanian as per the conventional belief.
Greek : Don't bother.
Afrikaans : Usually at one or other extremity on a scale of liberalism, very few in the middle. Run to fat aged about 30 so nail them while they're still young.
Portuguese : Despite popular beliefs, as good as Spanish but less complicated and easier to maintain. Tend to have the same long term faults though but to a lesser degree.
Moroccan : Half a glass of cheap plonk and they either fall asleep or haul their assets out for inspection.
I think that will do for now!
French : Filthy in bed and out.
Swiss : A bit like a Fiat (morel ike an Alfa!) on a cold wet morning. Takes a long time to get them started but once they do, the results can be unexpectedly good, or bad. Usually bad.
Polish : Generally far superior to every other nationality in terms of looks, personality, performance, cleanliness and being good company. Unfortunately sooner or later the question of 'financial assistance' always seems to arise. And when they are bad, they are really bad!
Romanian : See Polish, but minus 10-20% on all counts.
Moldavian : See Romanian but minus another 30% for some of the worst teeth you'll anywhere. I believe Dracula was Moldavian, not Transylanian as per the conventional belief.
Greek : Don't bother.
Afrikaans : Usually at one or other extremity on a scale of liberalism, very few in the middle. Run to fat aged about 30 so nail them while they're still young.
Portuguese : Despite popular beliefs, as good as Spanish but less complicated and easier to maintain. Tend to have the same long term faults though but to a lesser degree.
Moroccan : Half a glass of cheap plonk and they either fall asleep or haul their assets out for inspection.
I think that will do for now!
Last edited by Capetonian; 30th Mar 2011 at 17:47.
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Loved the part about the Nigerians....my spam box is filled with "your gracious reply is requested...."
You guys are lucky. Every airline in the USA is full of hags and fags...All the attitude - none of the looks.
You guys are lucky. Every airline in the USA is full of hags and fags...All the attitude - none of the looks.
(maybe more for JB, but... I couldn't help it)
Yet another gem courtesy of those Fwd emails...
Flight crew layover passes without a single sexual encounter, NTSB and FAA investigating | wineandexcrement.com
I think someone has taken an actual news item and edited accordingly.... BRAVO...
Flight crew layover passes without a single sexual encounter, NTSB and FAA investigating | wineandexcrement.com
In what industry analysts are calling “a first,” news has leaked that an airline crew has completed an overnight layover without a single flight attendant being ravaged.
According to the information, which will appear in an NTSB preliminary report scheduled for release later today, last week an AirTran flight attendant lodged an official complaint with authorities about First Officer Bryce Boikens.
In her written statement, the flight attendant claims that Boikens refused her invitation to join her in her hotel room for, as she put it, “a little somethin’ somethin’.” A National Transportation Go Team rushed to the scene at the airport Marriott in Buffalo and cordoned off the entire fourth floor.
(PHOTO: Seen here, a flight attendant on layover sends her captain a compromising photo of herself)
The flight attendant had at first propositioned the captain, as is customary; however, he had spilled his Starbucks on his lap during the last flight and was, understandably, out of service.
Pilots and flight attendants spend numerous hours unsupervised at airport hotels on layover, with easy access to booze and easier access to each other. While “bottle to throttle” rules backed by the threat of random alcohol testing often succeed in moderating alcohol consumption, no such enforceable regulations govern intra-crew rutting. Making for even more fertile fornicating grounds, many flight crew members are gay or bi-curious.
Further, flight attendants frequently take the job in hopes of landing a pilot-husband, while many pilots take the job because they couldn’t get laid otherwise. It’s a marriage of convenience that has served the industry, and the flying public, well since the 1950s.
However, Bryce Boikens’ alleged abstinence clouds that picture, upsetting an entrenched social dynamic that has airline crews up in arms. Reaction to the news, as expected, has been strong.
“Shocking,” said airline industry blogger and former Pan Am pilot, Mark Lowenbrau. “Back in my day, you’d burn through half your pay at hotel bars on layover. There was nothing more sure than an intoxicated flight attendant – except maybe an intoxicated Jersey Shores girl, like the weird one, what’s her name? Snoopy? Anyway, something must be wrong with this guy. He’s a disgrace, and should have his wings removed.”
Jim Jackson, a fellow AirTran pilot was less diplomatic. “This little dip**** needs to have his d*** cut off and donated to someone who’ll actually make use of it. To have our nuts kicked by one of our own like this? Well, that sucks. It sucks big donkey d****. He’s screwing it up for the rest of us. That little f***er ought to be dipped in boiling oil.”
Adding insult to injury, Boikens’ union has refused to represent him in any disciplinary action taken by the company. A representative from Air Line Pilots Association stated that the union “has no use for a pathologically shy pansy.”
Boikens’ flight attendant co-workers aren’t surprised. One in particular recalls working with Boikens last fall. “Doesn’t surprise me,” said Amber Contessa, while dropping coins into the condemn vending machine in AirTran’s Atlanta crew room. “We were on layover in Orlando, and I was like, ‘Hey you wanna meet me in the lounge for a few drinks?’ but then he was all like, ‘Do you think they have sweet tea?’ And I was like, ‘Sweet tea!! Sweet tea??’ And he was all, ‘Yeah, I’m a big tea drinker’ and I was all like, ‘Don’t you want something stronger?’ and he was like, ‘No, coffee will keep me up.’ So I was, like, screw it and tracked down the captain. We’re engaged.”
AirTran has said little publicly. “AirTran takes this allegation very seriously and we are reviewing the situation,” said AirTran spokesman, Milton Ford. “But it’s too early to speculate at this point. You never know, a couple of flight attendants may come forward and acknowledge that Mr. Boikens engaged in intercourse with them earlier that evening. We’re still holding out hope.”
Asked about AirTran’s policy for such non-behavior, Ford stated that “we generally would provide a written warning and counseling if it happens in the first year. And maybe have them fly a few turns to Cancun, figuring a few margaritas and badda-bing badda-boom, problem solved. However, we’ve never actually had to enforce the policy, so we’re charting new territory. This is a day we’ve drilled for, done table-tops for, but we’ve always hoped that preparation would be unnecessary.”
In another development, AirTran and Boikens may have regulatory trouble on their hands. The Federal Aviation Administration has caught wind of Mr. Boikens’ alleged chastity, and has initiated a full-blown investigation into AirTran’s hiring policy and crew standards generally, and Mr. Boiken’s conduct specifically.
“This is unprecedented,” said FAA program manager, Fanny Lasko. “You really have to question the mental stability of a pilot who allows a layover to pass without a single sexual encounter among the crew. This was a time when Mr. Boiken needed to step up and engage in some selfless crew resource management, not a time to shirk his duties. It’s damned near impossible, what happened really; like jumping into the ocean and not getting wet.”
When asked what action the FAA might take, Lasko said “First, we’ll investigate to determine the safety issues that might arise from a pilot so warped as to remain celibate on an overnight, despite a smorgasbord of options. Depending on what we find out, we’ll either revoke his license or send him to a bachelor party to loosen him up. As for the airline, we’ll do a top-down review of its crews to see if this is a wide-spread problem, or instead just a unique case of a strangely frigid flyboy. Usually, we can find that out by examining the maternity leave rate of their flight attendant group.”
When reached for comment, Boikens sounded chastened and remorseful. “I know I shouldn’t be commenting during an investigation, but I feel I owe people an explanation. I just don’t know what I was thinking. I haven’t been this confused since Senior Prom when my date wanted me to check in at one of those power-by-the-hour motels but I bailed on her so I could go home and play Madden.”
According to the information, which will appear in an NTSB preliminary report scheduled for release later today, last week an AirTran flight attendant lodged an official complaint with authorities about First Officer Bryce Boikens.
In her written statement, the flight attendant claims that Boikens refused her invitation to join her in her hotel room for, as she put it, “a little somethin’ somethin’.” A National Transportation Go Team rushed to the scene at the airport Marriott in Buffalo and cordoned off the entire fourth floor.
(PHOTO: Seen here, a flight attendant on layover sends her captain a compromising photo of herself)
The flight attendant had at first propositioned the captain, as is customary; however, he had spilled his Starbucks on his lap during the last flight and was, understandably, out of service.
Pilots and flight attendants spend numerous hours unsupervised at airport hotels on layover, with easy access to booze and easier access to each other. While “bottle to throttle” rules backed by the threat of random alcohol testing often succeed in moderating alcohol consumption, no such enforceable regulations govern intra-crew rutting. Making for even more fertile fornicating grounds, many flight crew members are gay or bi-curious.
Further, flight attendants frequently take the job in hopes of landing a pilot-husband, while many pilots take the job because they couldn’t get laid otherwise. It’s a marriage of convenience that has served the industry, and the flying public, well since the 1950s.
However, Bryce Boikens’ alleged abstinence clouds that picture, upsetting an entrenched social dynamic that has airline crews up in arms. Reaction to the news, as expected, has been strong.
“Shocking,” said airline industry blogger and former Pan Am pilot, Mark Lowenbrau. “Back in my day, you’d burn through half your pay at hotel bars on layover. There was nothing more sure than an intoxicated flight attendant – except maybe an intoxicated Jersey Shores girl, like the weird one, what’s her name? Snoopy? Anyway, something must be wrong with this guy. He’s a disgrace, and should have his wings removed.”
Jim Jackson, a fellow AirTran pilot was less diplomatic. “This little dip**** needs to have his d*** cut off and donated to someone who’ll actually make use of it. To have our nuts kicked by one of our own like this? Well, that sucks. It sucks big donkey d****. He’s screwing it up for the rest of us. That little f***er ought to be dipped in boiling oil.”
Adding insult to injury, Boikens’ union has refused to represent him in any disciplinary action taken by the company. A representative from Air Line Pilots Association stated that the union “has no use for a pathologically shy pansy.”
Boikens’ flight attendant co-workers aren’t surprised. One in particular recalls working with Boikens last fall. “Doesn’t surprise me,” said Amber Contessa, while dropping coins into the condemn vending machine in AirTran’s Atlanta crew room. “We were on layover in Orlando, and I was like, ‘Hey you wanna meet me in the lounge for a few drinks?’ but then he was all like, ‘Do you think they have sweet tea?’ And I was like, ‘Sweet tea!! Sweet tea??’ And he was all, ‘Yeah, I’m a big tea drinker’ and I was all like, ‘Don’t you want something stronger?’ and he was like, ‘No, coffee will keep me up.’ So I was, like, screw it and tracked down the captain. We’re engaged.”
AirTran has said little publicly. “AirTran takes this allegation very seriously and we are reviewing the situation,” said AirTran spokesman, Milton Ford. “But it’s too early to speculate at this point. You never know, a couple of flight attendants may come forward and acknowledge that Mr. Boikens engaged in intercourse with them earlier that evening. We’re still holding out hope.”
Asked about AirTran’s policy for such non-behavior, Ford stated that “we generally would provide a written warning and counseling if it happens in the first year. And maybe have them fly a few turns to Cancun, figuring a few margaritas and badda-bing badda-boom, problem solved. However, we’ve never actually had to enforce the policy, so we’re charting new territory. This is a day we’ve drilled for, done table-tops for, but we’ve always hoped that preparation would be unnecessary.”
In another development, AirTran and Boikens may have regulatory trouble on their hands. The Federal Aviation Administration has caught wind of Mr. Boikens’ alleged chastity, and has initiated a full-blown investigation into AirTran’s hiring policy and crew standards generally, and Mr. Boiken’s conduct specifically.
“This is unprecedented,” said FAA program manager, Fanny Lasko. “You really have to question the mental stability of a pilot who allows a layover to pass without a single sexual encounter among the crew. This was a time when Mr. Boiken needed to step up and engage in some selfless crew resource management, not a time to shirk his duties. It’s damned near impossible, what happened really; like jumping into the ocean and not getting wet.”
When asked what action the FAA might take, Lasko said “First, we’ll investigate to determine the safety issues that might arise from a pilot so warped as to remain celibate on an overnight, despite a smorgasbord of options. Depending on what we find out, we’ll either revoke his license or send him to a bachelor party to loosen him up. As for the airline, we’ll do a top-down review of its crews to see if this is a wide-spread problem, or instead just a unique case of a strangely frigid flyboy. Usually, we can find that out by examining the maternity leave rate of their flight attendant group.”
When reached for comment, Boikens sounded chastened and remorseful. “I know I shouldn’t be commenting during an investigation, but I feel I owe people an explanation. I just don’t know what I was thinking. I haven’t been this confused since Senior Prom when my date wanted me to check in at one of those power-by-the-hour motels but I bailed on her so I could go home and play Madden.”
I think someone has taken an actual news item and edited accordingly.... BRAVO...
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Emirates Flight Attendent | LEvel 1 to 50
is that bet for 20,000 Quid still on in which you need to sleep with a F/A from each floor; and the bloke to gets to 
the one who's on the highest floor wins?
Here's another one folks; EK flight attendants when drunk don't know where's home; make sure in the conversation you get their address, before the they start on their 3rd Stella...
Anyone here know where do the decent F/A's hang out?; Irish Club's not it at all.
the one who's on the highest floor wins?Here's another one folks; EK flight attendants when drunk don't know where's home; make sure in the conversation you get their address, before the they start on their 3rd Stella...
Anyone here know where do the decent F/A's hang out?; Irish Club's not it at all.
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To reaffirm Mullahs argument: Todays average woman is pretty good looking ( Image is a composite picture generated using multiple images of women from various nationalities )
http://kuvaton.com/browse/16925/average_faces.jpg
In case the link above does not work, try http://i52.tinypic.com/sg3fnm.jpg
http://kuvaton.com/browse/16925/average_faces.jpg
In case the link above does not work, try http://i52.tinypic.com/sg3fnm.jpg
Join Date: Apr 2008
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SA women
If you want to see some of the most beautiful women in the world, try the first class loung In DBX 20 min before a departure to the Kingdom. Super models go in and only eyes come out..... That lounge did not eat them! 
