Firm grip of the non-essential
 

Ok, I am bored..

Most useless BS nerd question ever to have faced during a check/training by one of the priceless aerosexuals from the respected training department !


My candidates:

1) Total number of static dischargers on the 747, enhanced with the truly fascinating quest for the allowed number of damaged/missing dischargers
(dozens by the way)

2) Location of the megaphone(s) on the main deck

3) only animal not allowed on freighter aircraft ( ok this one was actually mildly funny, it's a skunk..)

4) Max crosswind in Low Visibility in Canada ( on the 747-200, which at the time did not even operate to Canada )

5) Position of the inbuilt ( non-accessible!) ELT

Number of knots in the escape rope (Airbus)

OK you were clearly on the Classic... :}

-Definition of Icing Conditions verbatim of course

-Number and position of O2 bottles for crew and supernumerary

-Is Durian allowed on board and if so where?

-How many gear doors on the B742

-Main gear tilt combinations for Air/Ground sensing

Which circuit breaker am I thinking of

Hahaha, you could not make it up...

A long time ago on the TriStar, doing walk-round.....

Checker:- How many fan blades on the RB211?
Me:- Dunno!
Checker:- You should!
Me:- Why?
Checker:- So that you'll know if one is missing!
Me:- But there would be a f.....'in big hole!

Did you build a protection zone with your radar tilt??

Wots that :confused:

So you don't fly into a CB :8

But it's 8/8 blue sky :ooh:

-How many rotors in each stage of the RB211-524D4?

I love the one about the 777 vertically challenged TC who writes BOMB on a piece of paper and places it into the admin bag under the second observers seat to see if you're cockpit security check is up to par. He nearly caused a full scale bomb warning because of that silly stunt.


What are the silver plates for on the 777 cockpit floor.

Where's the LOC/GS antenna located.

Firm grip of the non-essential
 

How many rivets on the wing of an F-28?

b.

He doesn't do that anymore. "Why" do you ask?

He tried that stunt on me so whilst he was conducting the external inspection, I called up on 121.6 for Airport Police and AVSECO to the aircraft IMMEDIATELY, stating we had a serious security breach and a confirmed threat. Then I sat back and watched the excitement unfold.

When he returned back to the flight deck, I explained what I did and he went berserk. Of course the flight was canceled and passengers were protected on other flights etc. Interestingly enough, this was not mentioned in the Friday News propaganda.

Yes, I was called into the MLO's office to explain myself - so I did. I take any category threat seriously.
.......Some of these vertically challenged steroid pumping boys are messed up.
:E

There were two, freighter capts, recently retired, who could tell you all about the deadliest catch and they were not talking about fish or crustations.

Abominable nonsense.
I made the right decision when I turned down CX in '87.

I was sitting at Café/Rest. Oolaa the other day sipping my coffee - and behind be sat two CX pilots going through how to deal with an upcoming Command assessment or line check or wtf ever upcoming... Ohhh boy - I felt so sorry for them lads- you guys have to deal with this pathetic **** - still! It never changes huh??.. Pathetic. But, then again - it's a free choice and if you choose to stay - I guess you just deal with all of that wanky ****.

Great stories being posted.. Very enjoyable with a scotch on the side.
Cheers :ok:

Not from Cathay but.....what is the number of the globe in the Altitude alert light in the F28?

Surely the answer to the number of static wicks question on the Airbus is 20% more than required!

of all the threads on pprune at the moment this gets my vote as tops.

I love it!:ok::ok::ok:

I used to ask this one when I checked back in the day
 

What's the max speed for windshield wipers? STUNNED LOOK
A, High.

I loved that one.

And yes, it was a joke at the time as well.

What are those anyways?

With regards to the HOT AIR P/B, at what temperature will the Fault lt and associated ECAM caution come on?

When that set parameter is reached within the coding, it gives you the warning! Who gives a S**t what that exact value was????

The TC/STC clowns that ask these type of questions are doing it purely to stroke their own egos.

Oh, in case you were wondering:

A. When the duct overheat is detected - 88'C.

Nice to know we are dealing with Big Picture Stuff :ugh::ugh::ugh:

That's easy

"one less than your favourite number"

"Giggity Giggity"

What is the G limit of the A330 when flying in cloud with flap 1?
:ugh:

When I asked why should I know this figure, he replied that you might exceed the G limit if it get turbulent!
:=:D

(US airline)

Q: how long is the emergency escape rope?
A: long enough.

Q: I am a fuel molecule. Walk me thru the entire fuel system.
A: ###%%%%

Next please

Didn't know a Fuel Molecule could walk??:ugh:

Or talk............???

Draw me a wing with the lift vector for clean and flaps full....... I drew a wing with a small size L for clean, and a wing with a big L for flaps out. Smiled, but not too happy was he..... To be sure to be sure!!!!!

Good reason to reduce the fuel by one molecule.

Wait... How many carbon atoms in that molecule? Alkane? If not, How many double/triple covalent bonds?

During a Recurrent TRAINING debrief last month ( 747-8 )

Sim ins: There will be a 1 on your report.
Us ( 2 F/O's ): Why??
S.I. : I had to stop the sim to intervene.
Us: That was not intervening, that was stopping the sim to give us input on an electronic checklist, for a malfunction we cannot simulated and practice in normal cruise. Me: When I was an instructor, we called it training.
S.I.: No, if I give an input it mean you'r not up to standerd.

Us: But we had a good Proficiency Check with a very experienced and realistic Senior Training Captain, representing C.A.D., yesterday.
S.I.: But did he stop the sim? In CX thats a 1.
Us: Is the difference not CHECK and TRAIN ?
S.I: ( getting irate at these 2 F/O's ) We have a high standerd here at CX.
Us ... just looking at each other :confused:

A. Shall we start with Dinosaurs? Or should we go back to the Big Bang?
Do you believe in God?

That instructor is confusing himself with being a checker and is above his station in life. If I'm not mistaken the same chap at the end of an RT with time to spare offered any free exercise time to try anything. Well it all went pear shaped! Exercise requested wasn't as he liked and said non jeopardy play time ended up with a visit to training office and later to CP. NEVER miss an opportunity to say no, or nothing!! Sad isn't it. Best of the best of the best.

Now about those riverts?

I do hope they are issuing the AMM to pilots given that's the only location for such info these days, especially in Boeing machines.

Made me giggle. They exist in so many other spheres, and not just the 'Trainus Austronautus' types. :}

From a famous Airbus TCC... what's the deceleration rate in meters per second per second with auto brake medium...? :ugh::ugh::ugh:

in case anyone cares...3.0 m/s/s...

That's Darnley acceptable.

This topic serves well, in illustrating the downright embarrassment, that the Cathay Pathetic "training" "system" is. These examples, so well illustrates how sick some of the so called "trainers" are in their little brains. In any normal airline these kinds of freaks would be put in place and returned to line duties only. But, not at CX.
One of the other main problems that the Cathay Pathetic OPS management fails to realise is that, while there are a lot of good trainers around in the company as well, the whole reputation of the the training department is going down the hole, because the managers fail in dealing with these idiots. Once again, management is not the same as leadership.
Perhaps the OPS management, in particular in the areas of training, should make a sincere attempt in measuring the success' of their departments. And, I'm not talking about measuring themselves, like buddy buddy's - crediting themselves - but by employee anonymous questionnaires and make the results public ( company internal ). Now, surely this wouldn't look pretty and would never happen - in CX.

Isn't there an x FE CC on the 330 that asks you to pick a system on lower screen and tell him about it????

I'd pick Doors right before inviting him to sod off back to J class...:D

Line Checker: "You get too many ATISs"
Checkee: "But aren't they part of a fixed price data contract?"
Line Checker: "No. They are separate to that contract and we are charged for each one"
Checkee: "I didn't know that. How much does an ATIS cost?"
Line Checker: "10 US cents"
Checkee: " .............................. " Stunned silence.
Line Checker: "And you probably do use too much data as well"
Checkee: "But that is at a pre-paided, fixed price"
Line Checker: "Yes, but if we use too much, when the contract comes up for renewal, the price will go up."
Checkee: " ............................. , ...... interesting, ... let me write that down"

I now carry a $10USD bill in my pocket on line checks, to be passed to the checker, ... for 100 credits.

- On the overhead panel on this A (any Airbus) what do the small blue '+'
symbols mean that appear to be painted on

- Draw me an accurate diagram of the electrical system of this aircraft

- at what temperature do the hydraulics become flammable

- similar to Jizzmonkey's earlier point but different fleet.... when you get the red line on the printer paper, what length of paper (in feet or metres) remains before you run out

b.

"Take that waste paper and throw it away!"
"Why? We can recycle it!"
"Have you ever considered how much fuel is wasted carrying all that paper around our network?".

What an Irritating ****!

Don't you hate it when a checker adds stuff to your "Eerass" report which were not mentioed or debriefed during the check ride.:mad:

Recently did a ride with the Hill man. Will never fly with that back stabbing pr1ck ever again.

From now on I will go sick for any of the controversial checkers at Cathay. Not worth the stress! :ok:

I had some burned out ex Silkair Aussie instructor prick, who obviously couldn't handle flying real airplanes, for my Airbus 330 conversion "training". Dumb and stupid as they come in CX, he was incapable of proper instructing, and when I told him that straight to his red face, one-on-one, he couldn't handle that either. It was the 31th of December 2007, I was scheduled for the last sim session with him/it the next morning (01JAN). Obviously I just called sick and had a great night out in town. You just have to teach these losers where the chair stands. :p:=