^^^^^^

What an apt username.:ugh:

Another pompous and presomptuous CX trainer might have pointed out that it is indeed called a 'coaming'.
:E

Wilkomen to ze wunderbarr forld of ze Cathay Pacific Kamp!
:}

haha, good one.


Just got back from a YYZ flight and the SO told me that himself and many others are looking to leave. HK is just too expensive. Many not to complementry on some of our older skippers!

Thanks Yono, check, I'll part that down the middle. :p

Line check question on 777: how many ashtrays are there forward of L1 on this aircraft?


I remember as an SO doing a training flight with a Canadian STC of limited stature:

STC: if I went to the toilet now and an engine failed, what would you do?

Me: Well first I would check for severe damage and then.....

STC: NO! That's WRONG!!!!

Me: Well I would check the max altitude and if it was above the max altitude I would.....

STC: NO THAT'S %#* WRONG

Me: I would start the driftdown?

STC: WHAT THE @&$ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

Me: Well in my training they told us...

STC: HOW CAN I LEAVE YOU ALONE ON THE $&&@ FLIGHT DECK WHEN YOU DONT HAVE A @&$$? CLUE WHAT YOU ARE $&@? DOING. BY THIS STAGE YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT TO &@$? DO IF A $&&@ ENGINE FAILS IN THE CRUISE, blah, blah.......(ten minutes later).....AND THAT'S WHY YOU ARE $&@? USELESS.

Me: (Terrified and perplexed). I'm sorry I don't know the answer then..

STC: THE FIRST THING YOU DO IF AN ENGINE FAILS IS FLY THE $&&@? AIRCRAFT

Me (thinks): Really???? That's it?? Maybe I should mention I need to breathe as well...

One day I'm at dispatch standing by my flight. The Fo from another flight comes up to me and starts talking to me.

A few minutes later, the little Irish **** Check captain walks up to my flight and abruptly interrupts "What the F...k is going on here?"

Me: "We are talking about the trip myself and the Fo have just done"

Irish **** : "Well enough of this BS and I suggest you go back to your flight unless you want to come to SGN with us on the line check!"

Me : "Well considering that this is my flight and it is going to SIN, I suggest you go back to your flight!"

Irish ****: " Oh..ho...umm!? What the F..k is this? Pointing to my name on the flight plan.

Me. "That is me!"

Irish **** : " oh..umm...I don;t think we have flown together before?"

Me: No, and I will make sure that never happens!":ok:

Here's an oldie, but I'm told its true.

Captain on a Boeing is being Line Checked by famously arsey checker.
In cruise he is served his meal, on a tray, on his lap (this is the one situation where Airbus trumps Boeing).
The checker in the jumpseat pipes up "Captain, what would you do with that tray if you had an engine failure now?"
To which the Captain responds - "I'd do this" - then flings the tray and all it's contents on the checkers lap. :p

Without wishing to steal CX thunder, we had an interesting exchange between a TC and student:

Shortly after airborne A330 student leans leans across and engages AP1:
Student: "Autopilot One"
TC: "No mate, it's AY PEE ONE" (he has a point but minuscule one)
Student - No Response.

later....at cruise alt capture:
Student: "EM AY SEE AICH, AY ELL TEE, SEE AR ZED Star"
TC - Silence

Pilots on a proper housing allowances enjoy it here...because of the $$$...for the bottom couple hundred of our seniority list it will only be a stepping stone...

"the SO told me that himself and many others are looking to leave:

But,but did they not sign up for this gig with their eyes wide open?

If I had a couple of hundred hours piston I would have signed up for it and like them would be looking to leave at the first opportunity. A descent start to a career even though I would not be expecting to enjoy it that much. Just because they are unhappy and looking to leave does not mean they joined without knowing the score. Good for them if they are looking for a better job that offers an increase in quality of life.

OI! Dimwits!

Dont ruin the best FH thread ever with this BS. Enough!

Lining up in FUK As JFO
Checker: what is the tolerance for changes in QNH for the takeoff data? {scenario based Quest, the QNH was the same as pushback}
Me : Answered
Checker :What if its now outside those tolerances what are you going to do?
Me : Tower just called us we are clear for takeoff
Checker : what do you do?
Me: I would take off , thats tower again!
Checker: But its outside the limitation
Me:Can we talk about this airborne , the guy behind will have to go around shortly.

Once airborne
Me : So in that scenario with the QNH it would not be practicable to exit the runway simply for a change of 60ft in pressure alt for a new tkof card right.
Checker: MMMM You tell me?

Silence followed with a lot of pen writing!

Ganker....

As you rightfully point out, after lining up on the runway it's too late to worry about a 60 foot difference, and it's more sensible to go (knowing that there is a bit of fudge built into the RTOW calculations, or that you built in some fat by producing a card with an intersection take off, or a conservative wind component).

But maybe...just maybe...the checker was trying to tell you that confirming the take off environmental conditions are valid is something you confirm long before you get to the runway....NOT on line up....at which point it is too late.

Maybe.....just maybe....he was trying to point out that you should have done something when the QNH started to drift towards the tolerance limit....and before you got to the runway.

We all goof up and make mistakes, we're human, but in this game it is important to distinguish between things that will not kill you (turning the frequency knob clockwise, flap or flaps) and things that will kill you, like invalid take off conditions in an RTOW calculation.

For those of you who asked, sadly my clockwise RTP experience was TRUE! :-(

Raven the QNH hadnt changed , I dont think I wrote that correctly.
He was just implying that if it did what would I do?
it was a scenario thing he was asking, when we should have been concentrating on the task at hand I would have thought.

Raven was that you with Ganker on that day?

b.

ok...agreed...back to the original thread...

During LFUS many years ago I was told that the "walk around" was called "external inspection" and the "cockpit check" was called "flight deck check"...as per FCOM3...

Tech log/Maint log
Flap/Flaps

The list could go on and on.

Who give a.......:D

Any checkie that told me off would be asked of he was serious...:mad:

Raven,

I would suggest that asking a silly question like this during a critical phase of ground movement is horrible CRM. Especially considering this was a JFO, this is a pathetic attempt to get a guy/gal flustered at exactly the wrong moment on a line check. This checker either did this intentionally or has very poor instructing / checking skills. Indefensible!

This is the most incredible thread I have read on prune for a very long time...:eek:

I'm beginning to think that flunking the Cathy interview some years ago and walking out with my tail firmly between my legs may now have been a blessing.

Who checks the checkers?

Standardization check once every three(!!!) years...

Otherwise if nobody goes upstairs and complains (which can be career detrimental) they get away everything...

But it must be pointed out that only a few fall into this category...

Sadly none of the local cadets will post on here, I heard a few of the stories from an S/O recently about the checkers on their avoid-at-all-costs list. The stuff that the local JF/Os put up with is wild.

Back to thread:

STC "Ok bloggs, you've covered the limitation memory items..........now what about the australian LWMO memory items. Met conditions, back up power requirements, lighting etc......"

Me "since this fleet's never gone there, are they memory items that I really need to memorize?"

LVP memory items? Since when?? :D

Frank...no it usually is the Devil.

CXorcist...couldn't agree more. A what if on the QNH as you line up for departure is nothing less than intimidation.

Must also agree with one of the earlier posters (as much as I am enjoying identifying all the plonkers) that a majority of checkers are not as portrayed here. Sadly many of the good ones have opted out of the system and form the backbone of the training system...namely line captains.

There were some worse plonkers back in the old days...I am reliably informed that one of the F/O's got back to his room in Singapore (in the 80's) with his prey to find that the skipper hand gained entry and hoofed the contents of his nav bag into the bath after having thoughtfully run it for him. Hell hath no fury as they say.

Interesting posts and some are funny enough. However most checkers in CX are really good at their jobs. I have done 23 line checks and all but one was fine with me and the debriefing points were generally valid. Most of the time when a pilot complains about a check ride and comes on pprune to have a go at CX checkers, usually you find out that he screwed up badly. I have a few mates who blame everybody but them selves and I know for a fact they are pretty useless, do no work and want to be spoon fed. Most of the complainers are of the generation where they have never failed anything and told by their teachers and parents that they are just wonderful and can be anything they want to be. Then they come to the real world and cry when told to do things properly or they will fail….aaaaah FAIL .. mommy told me I was great and only sent me to the corner twice when I was naughty.

Most of the whiners had too much mommy and not enough daddy in their lives

If it makes you feel any better, it's not just CX...

Scene: Capt's route check, departing YMML (~400' AMSL), with a renowned pedant as checker. Policy is to switch off landing lights climbing through 10000' above airfield elevation.

The FO knows the reputation of the checker, so after setting 2992 passing transition at 10000', he makes sure he turns off the lights at 10400' on the dial....and gets debriefed up because "QNH was 1020, so we were actually about 10200' above departure elevation when you turned the lights off". :ugh::ugh::ugh:

Why are you trying to ruin the best thread on PPrune? Such a party-pooper.

It seems as though the checkers are beginning to get their feelings hurt, a bit surprising being the perfect specimens they are.

Even in Aust, we had "fred" (efin ridiculous egotistical d$#@head)

Line check, by top of climb had made 10 "errors" to see how good I might be?

Told him through my teeth, do one more and we go back as you are not performing a check but an endurance check.
Got an agreement I thought??

On final at first stop, after the "400 ft, speed command, sink rate" call he went deliberately 2 lights low on the T-VASIS.

F-28s had two sets of thrust levers, mine went to the wall, elbow got locked against his OK OK pulling back on his so we went around.

I said, phone call to the boss is next after we landed.
Very embarrassed FINALLY as a go around was "reportable" in those days.

A frank and forthright statement was made, the flight proceeded and the route check was good report.
As a very junior F/O in those times???!!!

He never gave me any grief after that, but didn't learn.

:ugh::ugh:

How long does the extended centreline extend from the runway on the ND

The Wild Man of Borneo once asked me:

How do you know when it is time to step climb if you cannot use the FMC or the Wind Trade Chart?

The answer, he proceeded to tell me was that as you sit in the cruise the EPR steadily declines and when it hits 1.XX (cannot remember or care about the number) then it is time to climb!!

What a load of old horse .....

Even in Australia greybeard..... Well who'd have thought it

Even in Australia
 

"Even in Australia"

just about says it all.

Flew with the Irish midget angry man one night ..... (I'm so rich I buy hotels my kids know George Harrison's kids)

The little prick got up so take a piss, and just as a matter of habit I said "my radios"

He gets back from the toilet and starts to berate me ... "They are not your radios they're my F$&*King radios and this is my aircraft and I'm the commander"

I'm thinking holy cow (Psycho) ....:ugh:

He jumps back in the seat and says "I have control - MYYYYYYY radios"

I slide my chair back grab some manuals and start reading and let the midget go single pilot. Well we start to hit some wide spread thunder storms and Chinese airspace and he's working like a dog - but I'm refusing to engage this rude prick.

Eventually in this timid little voice he goes "mate could you give me a hand here"

No problem ..... grab the clip board "My Radios" :ok:

Not CX but a few i've come across:

"Where on the flightdeck (B737 NG) does it say Boeing, excluding the literature?"

"V/S Thumbwheel is called thumbwheel for a reason, use your thumb on it"

"Don't turn the frequency dial the long way round to a new frequency, go the short way"

What about the Aussie skipper who got a 3 on a line check for fuel policy. Took CFP fuel to TPE, even though it was off 07, and onto 05 in TPE. Should have taken fuel off apparently. :ugh:

Great read
 

Finally took the time to read all the posts. Good fun.

Here's mine:

LFUS on the -400 way back, as PM doing flight control checks, the proper slow and gentle way. Trainer tells me to do it slowly, as I should remember there could have been fuel in the stab tank, 4 tons, and it could be sloshing around violently if I did the control check too quickly.

So I thought, is the fuel in the elevators, or in the stab?

Trim moves the stab, control wheel moves the elevators.

Did he really believe that himself, or was he pulling a joke?

I also got the "Don't hold your hands on the trust levers while taxi out, if you hit TOGA it will go to TOGA thrust, as the flaps are down.". That was with another trainer.

No it fogging won't as I am holding my hands on the thrust levers! That's what I thought, I didn't say it.

Next trainer says, obviously, "why aren't your hands on the thrust levers while taxying?"

If it's not in the book ..

On the 400 years ago I remember a certain infamous long sleeve checker that told me that zero on the Radar tilt was the longitudinal axis of the a/c and I should tilt up commencing descent!!

I informed him that zero was in fact the horizon gyro stabilized by IRS 2 but he would have any of it..

Idiot was the CP 400 too. :D

Back in the early '80's I took leave of absence from my euro carrier to do a 1 yr contract LHS B732 in a large Asian carrier (not CX obviously).
This place was packed with Aussies at the time, and they'd been left in charge of he 732 fleet while the locals all upgraded.
The Austronauts had introduced a load of mind bending SOP's to the fleet. My pet hate was their insistence that VHF1 be tuned to the operating frequency, and used to TX but not RX (audio switch OFF on box1). VHF2 was then tuned to the same operating frequency but TX de-selected, and audio ON. Are you with me?
You TX'd Box1 and RX'd Box2.
This meant that each time you changed frequency you had to dial it up in both boxes, and of course remember to actually flick across to the new frequency on both boxes.
You can imagine what this was like in busy airspace. Most of the time it was just a pain in the ass, but in busy areas with lots of freq changes it was verging on dangerous.
When I asked my Austronaut LTC why they did this his reply was - "But MATE, if ya dahn't do it how d'ya know yer traaansmishuns ah blady goin aht?".
Well said I, you might get no response!
"Nah Nah MATE, this is the way we doit in Oz, ok"?
:ugh:
Later, when I returned to my euro carrier I was chatting to an engineer one day, an avionics guy, and I told him about this practice. He was aghast. But - he said - the RX's are very sensitive! TX'ing on the same frequency from the other box will ultimately overload and blow the RX circuitry - BAD IDEA. In fact he showed me in a maintenance manual where it specifically warned to NOT do this under any normal circumstances.

The B732 was a simple a/c and a joy to fly. But they couldn't leave it alone. They had to fk it up with their ignorant ideas. To what end?
Why do some people like to make this job more complicated than it really ought to be? They seem to me to have no love of flying for itself. It's all about inventing a mystique for themselves. A frickwn ego trip.
Why are they mostly Australians? (but not all).