Just one more way for those so inclined, to worm their way into a management position.

Really fellas?

Is that what you think the technical Pilot does!!

Worming their way into management!!

I don't think JOH is like that at all.:=

Is this the same guy that said he was going to be DFO someday?

No Nitpicker,

It does not refer to JOH and his boys.

The technical pilot position was setup by the fleet offices to help (on a part time basis) with the updates of the technical manuals.

Two completely different things.

Not CX.

I was on my ALC on the 74 classic. Im PF and the checker has been a right a*se to both the FE and myself since we met in the hotel lobby. On approach we get slam dunked by approach so I ask for gear down early to catch the profile again. The checker refuses as the fcom says gear down flap 20 at gs intercept, at which point the FE leans forward and kisses him on the right cheek and says "If your going to f@&k us, put some passion into it. The look on the checkers face was priceless. In the bar the FE said that he'd heard a story of someone doing it, and could'nt help himself.

Kika

Kikatinalong, it's 2am in the morning and I'm literally biting into my blanket in order not to burst out laughing and waking up the family. :p

Funniest thing I've heard for a long time :D

Similar thing happened to me while transitioning to the tripleseven.
Called for fl 20 to slow down (ATC req.) and give more stability to the A/S
CN: the book says gear down and then flap 20 on this fleet.
Me: the book don't know that fl.20 Is acceptable and won' t trigger any Messages or FDAP.
Gotta go with the flow and the flaws in this place.....

I had a guy ask me the exact definition of icing conditions during line training when I switched to the Airbus. After giving him the spiel he told me 'you're close but no cigar, you need to review that.' I didn't really understand what the problem was cause I thought I had that down pretty tight. Went home, checked the books and realized that when I gave him the definition I hadn't mentioned ten degrees celsius, just degrees and that's why he marked me down on that in my training folder.

Next day when I arrived I just gave him the folder and said that if that's the way we're gonna play he might as well mark everything down. He changed it into a plus and didn't ask me to define it for him again :}. Compared to some of the stories here it's not horrible but it's a funny memory because he was a really good bloke, just had a brain fart I think. Ended up learning a lot from that fellow. When we bumped into each other a year later we were both kind of grinning at the whole situation.

If he lays a finger on you its assault. Call the cops.

Someone at a CPA interview...

If you opened the cowl (as we do all the time) what difference would you find between a Rolls Royce powered 744 and a GE powered one. Piss poor interview technique but the interviewer was angling for an answer along the lines of triple spool vs twin spool.

The actual answer given, "One says, 'Made In England', and the other says 'Made in the USA'?

Sadly he wasn't employed, but priceless answer.

I was doing a check ride as an FO once and it was one of those rare days (for me at least :O) where the stars align and everything is working out perfectly. The Check pilot had a rep for being a nit picking areshole but even he was having trouble finding things to complain about. It is a nice calm day with a long runway and I just grease it on exactly in the middle of the company specified recommended touch down zone.

He gives me a 2 for the landing. I sat "why" and he says "everybody gets a 2 for something when I am the check pilot" ! You got a 2 for a landing that was too smooth, there should have been a thump when the wheels touch that's the way I do it ! :mad:

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of these events.

It does however cause me to have the utmost respect for those on the receiving end of these lunatics and the belief that I dodged a bullet when I chose not to send back that 20 page CX application all those years ago!

I got, "if you rotate the HDG bug one full revolution, how many degrees HDG change would that be"? WTF??

What's a heading bug?

Beatle that goes North..generally a dung Beatle..

One rotation of HDG,ALT,V/S-FPA knob gives you 32 degrees change or 3200ft/32000ft in altitude change od 3.2 deg FPA. (32 clicks per 1 revolution).

*beetle...

Can I be a CX trainer now?

The Heading Bug is on the display so if it moves one complete revolution it must be 360 degrees!!!!

I too would have answered 360 deg but me thinks he meant the actual HDG/TRK SEL knob. Ridiculous.

Heh heh. He said 'knob.'

Aloha

This thread is embarrassing. I don't know what's worse the sort of pedantic crap in CX or the fact that you're all talking about it with a sort of warped pride, pathetic.

How much printer paper is left at the red stripe? Apparently xx metres. How much is left at the second red stripe? Apparently x metres.
We all know that the red stipes are there to indicate the paper ribbon is running low and we will renew as circumstances permit.
If you are the type of STC that asks this sort of question even in a contrived humorous way but because of your role comes across as passive aggressive given the noticeable smirk on your face you have just lost any credibly and should do yourself and others a favour by stepping down from checking.


Enough said

These two stand out as my funniest experience during Line and Sim Check.

1. During a 737 Line Check 10 years ago: "How many 'BOEING' written in the cockpit of a 737?"

2. During Command Course Sim Check:
Check Pilot: "What are the most common cause of command failure?"
Me : "you"

Having had the displeasure of flying with certain people from the world's smallest continent not to mention new eager-eyed TCs from the same region, I've come to the conclusion that this highly amusing thread is written specifically about them.

Were you once frightened by a koala when Mummy took you to the zoo when you were small?

Well said 330!
Embarrassing!

'World's smallest Continent'.

will get me thru 2 meetings today!..

Only if it was a Training koala.

Pure gold Dan! :D

On a line check...what's the difference between winshear and severe windshear (he wants numbers and everything)...riiiight...a great discussion point for any crew as you're flying the windshear go around....Just put me down for a 2 for tech and let's move on.

Simply rephrase the question. I can tell the difference between windshear and catastrophic windshear. The first one we get to use the airplane again. The second we don't.

Perhaps the wellspring of certain antipodean's extreme pedantry is the manifestation of those individual's frustration at their failure to have achieved a prized, and much sought after, position with their national carrier, and scoring the aviation booby prize in lieu.

Almost perfectly understandable.

No truer word in the history of PPrune or Aviation has ever been said.

Remember that the small continent was settled by the British. All things military/aviation was taught to them by the British. Want to point fingers? Blame the teacher not the student!

Sadly they've taken all that British wellspring of good guidance, stuck it up their poop chutes and compacted it; it now takes a broom handle to get it out ����

"An expert guess as to why an underfloor pump has failed is academic; knowing what to do about it is what counts. Indeed, preoccupation with detail can divert attention from the overall picture with terrible consequences. When trouble develops, keeping they airplane flying right side up at a safe speed and altitude is the prime concern. Dealing with a problem is of secondary importance. Many the perfectly flyable airplane that crashed while its crew fiddled with switches and recited checklists."

--Len Morgan

...and we are VERY delighted that you have graciously taken said Oztronaut pedants off our hands!

It makes for a much more relaxed work environment here in 'Straya.

Our sincere thanks!

PG

Not CX but here goes. Passing 10000ft I removed the weight (sorry mass)/ speed flip cards from the bulldog clip and placed them on the pedestal as per normal. Capt tells me to make sure I hold the bulldog clip open so I don't ruffle the edges of the cards. I understand he is now a very famous trainer in FR.

The same gentleman was somewhat nervous should something go wrong and a little lacking in real technical knowledge, I suspect that may be in common with some of the STCs mentioned here.

During CPL training debrief (re: position fixing with VOR/DME).

FI: You're very slow when it comes to your position fixes.
Me: Slow?
FI: Yes, your slow when you do them.
Me: I don't think I am
FI: You are. Your slow
Me: How quick do you want me to do them?
FI: Eh?
Me: How quickly do you want me to do them??
FI: You only did one fix in half an hour.
Me: Eh?
FI: You only did a position fix once in half an hour.
Me: That's not being slow! That's doing something infrequently.
FI: Eh?
Me: There's a difference between being slow and doing something infrequently!
FI: Eh?
Me: Right. Here's doing something infrequently. . . . Tune VOR, Ident, Display, Fix __________________half an hour later, Tune VOR etc. Here's doing something slowly_____________Tune VOR,______________________Ident___________________________, Display_______________________________Fix.
FI: Eh?

Honestly. Never come across such a retarded instructor. Thankfully she never made the airlines.

Are you 100% sure she didn't make the airlines? There's a few CX pilots who fit the bill perfectly! 😂

I don't think the British ever envisaged said settlers' offspring to be future masters of the air!

Ah yes...

The Americans invented aviation.....BUT, Ansett/Qantas perfected it..maaate.