I heard about an old timer on the classic who, after berating a new FO for not using his thumb to move the thumb wheel of VS mode, was rather taken aback at the response .."Ok I'll use my thumb on the thumb wheel when you show me how to use the Nose Wheel Steering"

Well done that FO :D

Still in pleats here :}

Refresher Line Training. Passing 10,250ft on descent (at 2,000fpm) I ask for the Passing 10 check.
Silence, arms folded, staring out window.
Thinking he hasn't heard, I ask again.
Nothing.
Then he sighs heavily and does the passing 10 checks - at 9,999ft.
This guy is good at adopting an air of effrontery at such horrible violations. He's a jumped up little arse with a serious insecurity complex.

I really hope this person is not real....if he is..:ugh::ugh:

I've never laughed so much. My favourite thread EVER...:D:D:D:D:D

How about the ever ongoing Cathay Pathetic discussion about whether is called "flap" or "flaps". That at least, used to be a big deal. You gotta know the difference while commanding that in you pyjamas :p

Loving this thread...here is one more...

"What is the roll rate in degrees per second in alternate law?"

Doesn't this thread just serve to illustrate the total failure of the CRM project in so many airlines? It is being subverted by the very people who ought to be its advocates. They are a thundering disgrace to the industry, each and every one.

Sorry - I was taking things seriously there.
Keep Calm and Carry On....

Years ago with the Chief pilot checking one of the old crusty captains:
On the walk around, "What is that antenna for?",
"Don't know mate"..
"Well, what does that vent do?"
"No idea"
"OK, tell me what that marking signifies?"
"Not the foggiest idea sport"
Very put out now, "Well I hope you don't mind me asking you these questions??!!"

"Not at all Noel, if you don't ask questions you'll never learn"

A captain undertaking his route check with a Senior Check captain (what's a Junior Check captain? :) ) was asked a question to which he replied that he didn't know the answer.
The Senior Check then turned to the FO and asked "So XXX, what do you think?"
The FO looked at the Senior Check and said 'I think this is not my route check"

Now THAT F/O epitomises CRM and diplomacy at its best!


A few years ago I was doing a FAA style type-rating in the USA. My sim buddy was a low time F/O who had not put in much effort during ground school and had barely passed. Come the oral quiz, the FAA Check Airman set the 'rules'. He would ask one of us a question. If that pilot did not know - or got it wrong - he would ask the other, BUT even if he got it right, the second guy still had to answer the question reserved for him.
Starting with the F/O - question: "what does this switch do?" reply "dunno". So, I get to answer it. Then my own question. Next round, same result, and next, and next. After I had answered about 20 questions in a row and the F/O had answered none correctly, the FAA guy tore him a new rectum like you would not believe, reminding him who he would have to fly with when we got home.


All the FAA man's questions were reasonable, with no numbers required to be memorised unless it was a limitation that could be read on a gauge or instrument. Unlike some checkies at home.

My first ever line check with CX as an SO. Complete security check and start to do what I can with the ACARS. STC turns round and shouts "STOP". He then points to the back of the centre pedestal and whilst moving his finger along its rear edge states "Everything forwards of this line is for myself and the FO who are the pilots of this flight, you have no business doing anything forward of this line".

So from CN to no business doing anything forward of this line in the space of about 3 months, great introduction to CX.

Another STC a few years later has entered the data into the ACARS for the RTOW, I notice that he has omitted the decimal and so I update what he entered with a decimal point and say to him afterward that I have re entered the weights and would he like to check them again. He totally flips out saying that the . is not required and he is amazed at the number of people who re enter his weights. Guess he did it that way as liked being able to shout a people :mad:.

Killaroo,

Mate, you got that one wrong. in CATHAY PATHETIC it's LIKE this.. Most, by fare most, other NORMAL airlines doesn't work like CX. Ask pilots who actually worked for other real airlines, besides from CX, and you'll see. :ok:

Is the middle finger an acceptable appendage to turn a thumb wheel with Check airmen like those mentioned here? As far as building the airplane, it sounds like my B1900 training at Silver. I've been looking to go to CX for many years. This is a funny thread, I think I'll use some of the responses listed for some useless questions.

I'm very jealous as I've never been asked questions that rank at the same level of absurdity as some of the above- though some of the questions listed I thought were pretty legit! Hydraulic fluid flash points leading in to a discussion on brake fan usage etc?

Anyways. A good one doing the rounds at KA is from our new Cadets or MPLs. Bless them. Cadet gets asked how much effort he's putting into his course by a training manager and he says 90% -training manager berated him and told how he must put in 100% and 90% not good enough!

Being well networked when Cadet number two gets a progress interview and asked how much effort he's putting into the course he proudly beams 100%. Training manger is furious, says that's not good enough he must put in 110%.

I always find it amusing how expatriates put down the local schooling systems and the Eastern way of learning. Yet aviation in Hong Kong seems locked in a bygone area, so far removed from modern adult learning environments and without a clue to performance enhancing techniques which abound. The money and resources spent on training should produce a much higher standard.

Rant over - how many Airbus logos can be seen on the flight deck? Accurate bearing and distance to Mecca?

CC. what colour is the cross on the first aid kit?

I answer red.....he says no it's green......on investigating later it could have been either red green or white depending what model aircraft and if it was leased but who gives a toss.

At end of check he says " any questions" and I responded I have one.

WHY DID YOU FLY THE ENTIRE SECTOR IN CLOUD WITH THE RADAR TURNED OFF BUT YOU STILL PLAYED WITH THE TILT !!!!!

Did he get any return? I want to know what his answer was!

Probably failed his check for not pointing out the deliberate error and risking flight safety for not saying anything.

The 777 TCC who uses the camera to look at you doing the walkround then berates you for going around the landing gear clockwise.

There is a prescribed direction to walk around the landing gear? Lord, give me strength !