"Request Flight Level XXX IF AVAILABLE"
Oh yea?? had you not added the last two words does that mean ATC would have given it to you available or not?? W**ker!!

Oh and by the way, what does "FULLY READY" mean. When did you last hear someone call "partially Ready"? Ready is ready. Get a grip.

NOOOOOOOO!! It's Clear Left SIDE. LEFTSIDE!! FFS, GET IT RIGHT!

They don't actually say all that....do they?

"Ladies and Gentlemen from the flight deck"

Because occasionally we make PAs from the toilet.

If your PAs get confused with cabin crews I feel for you! :}

What percentage of the passengers do you think listen to the PA?

I"m sure it's inversely proportional to the number of wheelchairs and special meals.

grammar beyond criticism!!

I'm surprised that the moderators hasn't bend over for the CX intimidating team on this subject YET? how come Pprune moderators? Close it! NOW! :=

Haha, one more please....! This gem from the Airbus...... "Nice flying with you."

-"I read on the newsletter we're going to start doing it this way..."

-"Any plans when we get to Dubai/Anchorage/LAX/wherever?"

-"They finally delivered my car" (when sighting an expensive car on the ramp to be transported on a freighter)

-"Is my royal suite ready?" (when checking into the hotel)


Oral diarrhoea on the frequency (slight thread drift)


-"Air India/Jet/Indigo 123 on hand-over"
Obligatory terminology for all Indian carriers on frequency change (if at all possible omitting flight level, and transmitted without listening out first to ensure stepping on someone else)

-"Station calling?"
Obligatory Indian ATC unit's response to your first transmission, regardless how crystal-clear and ICAO-compliant it may have been

-"Descend to Flight Level 230, confirm?"
All clearances read-back by Indian carriers must be followed by "confirm?" (omitting callsign whenever possible to ensure maximum confusion)

"Why are you trying to do things differently than everyone else?"

"Because it's in the FCOM"

4 bar debrief: "I'm not going to fail you, but I really think you are too young to be a captain in THIS airline..."

On the way to Seoul many years ago, being shown the brochure for his
new Porsche. He rabbited on for about thirty minutes about the cars
power, features beauty etc etc
I was not reacting as he expected, so he asked " are you interested in cars at ALL"
I replied finally " yes I'm interested in cars, I'm thinking of getting the rust cut out of my volkwagen"
I was actually doing his command training from the right seat.
He's still a prat, now in training himself.

Your rusty Volkswagen will seem like a Porsche to the latest crop of 'pilots' that have been joining this airline (the inverted commas are intentional).

I'm not trying to defend the guy but maybe he'd worked hard, saved his money, was on his first wife and was genuinely excited to be getting a nice Car?

Nothing wrong with that is there? Just as long as he didn't rub it in your face like some I don't see a problem with being happy for a successful colleague....

No, I don't own an expensive Car!!

The longer I read this thread the more convinced I am that we now employ a rather unattractive group of envious, immature, petty and whiny small children. :bored: ie: ...'he showed me a picture of his car.......oooohhh :eek:'

Mmmmm. Yes true.:D

" I was watching your eyes .. "

Not too intensely, I hope! :=

After returning from the toilet, " No change ", isn't this superfluous?

No changes?
 

What about the FCOM 3! Never stops.