Ten Axioms
Plastic PPRuNer
Thread Starter
Ten Axioms
From John Dvorak's recent piece in PC Mag http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1759,1706572,00.asp and I think they're all oh--so-true.
----------------------------------------
# USE DEFAULTS. Always let the program choose the default during installation. Give up on the idea that you're in charge of the machine. While many programs give you the option of choosing a different destination for all those installation files, forget it. These offers are not serious. You can be certain that by choosing an installation location that is anywhere other than the default location, you'll suffer in some way someday.
# RESET NOW. When asked if you want to reset, always reset immediately. Sure, you are given the option to reset later. You can do it right away, or you can do it in a week. The reset-later option only exists to trick you into seeing what happens if you delay resetting. If you ever call customer support it is the first thing they will ask you about. Then if you tell them you did not reset immediately they will laugh and put you on the speakerphone. Don't be fooled, reset now.
# MINIMUM DOES NOT WORK. Don't be cheap with memory. While you can buy machines with the minimum memory required to run Windows, this is actually a marketing gimmick. Get twice the minimum or you'll be sorry. Four times the minimum is even better.
# WIZARDS ARE A HOAX. Wizards are not wizards, they are attempts to waste your time and frustrate you. Once in a while they work, but not intentionally. Installation wizards, troubleshooting wizards--none of them work. When you call customer support in Bombay you get someone there running the same wizards only with an Indian accent. The better solution is to throw out the computer and buy a new one.
# UPGRADES DO NOT HELP. When you upgrade software nothing good happens. The software just gets prettier, maybe. In many cases the software vendor has studied the usefulness of the product and then added useless features while often eliminating or changing the one good feature, the specific feature that you used a lot. This is done on purpose because software companies hate you.
# CUSTOM INSTALLS ARE NOT CUSTOM. When installing software you are often given two options, a "typical install" or a "custom (advanced)" install. There is no difference. This option is to give you the illusion that you are smart and in control when you pick the advanced option.
# WHEN YOUR NET CONNECTION IS DOWN, NOBODY WILL KNOW WHY. Nobody knows why your Net connection is down, ever. Most ISPs, especially if they are owned by a phone company, will not even know that your connection is down until you tell them and then they will act flabbergasted. If you ask them to look into it they will start a trouble ticket which is then thrown into a waste bin. The connection eventually returns on its own for unknown reasons.
# Wi-Fi BRAND INTEROPERABILITY DOESN'T WORK. Oh, it works sometimes, but generally if you begin to mix too many different Wi-Fi brands you'll discover that they don't work well together, if at all. These companies are too busy making money to care. Get over it.
# OLD BURNED CDs FAIL. They don't fail immediately, but those old backups and files you burned onto CDs (and now DVDs) will stop working any minute. Go check some of the old ones you did. You'll see. You'll discover that you can't read a few of them already. So sorry.
# COMPUTERS CRASH MORE AS THEY GET OLDER.This is part of a scheme hatched by the hardware and software companies to get you to buy new machines. It's a slow degenerative process that you can do nothing about it. Nobody is really sure how it works. We're studying it.
----------------------------------
Any PPRuNes got some more?
----------------------------------------
# USE DEFAULTS. Always let the program choose the default during installation. Give up on the idea that you're in charge of the machine. While many programs give you the option of choosing a different destination for all those installation files, forget it. These offers are not serious. You can be certain that by choosing an installation location that is anywhere other than the default location, you'll suffer in some way someday.
# RESET NOW. When asked if you want to reset, always reset immediately. Sure, you are given the option to reset later. You can do it right away, or you can do it in a week. The reset-later option only exists to trick you into seeing what happens if you delay resetting. If you ever call customer support it is the first thing they will ask you about. Then if you tell them you did not reset immediately they will laugh and put you on the speakerphone. Don't be fooled, reset now.
# MINIMUM DOES NOT WORK. Don't be cheap with memory. While you can buy machines with the minimum memory required to run Windows, this is actually a marketing gimmick. Get twice the minimum or you'll be sorry. Four times the minimum is even better.
# WIZARDS ARE A HOAX. Wizards are not wizards, they are attempts to waste your time and frustrate you. Once in a while they work, but not intentionally. Installation wizards, troubleshooting wizards--none of them work. When you call customer support in Bombay you get someone there running the same wizards only with an Indian accent. The better solution is to throw out the computer and buy a new one.
# UPGRADES DO NOT HELP. When you upgrade software nothing good happens. The software just gets prettier, maybe. In many cases the software vendor has studied the usefulness of the product and then added useless features while often eliminating or changing the one good feature, the specific feature that you used a lot. This is done on purpose because software companies hate you.
# CUSTOM INSTALLS ARE NOT CUSTOM. When installing software you are often given two options, a "typical install" or a "custom (advanced)" install. There is no difference. This option is to give you the illusion that you are smart and in control when you pick the advanced option.
# WHEN YOUR NET CONNECTION IS DOWN, NOBODY WILL KNOW WHY. Nobody knows why your Net connection is down, ever. Most ISPs, especially if they are owned by a phone company, will not even know that your connection is down until you tell them and then they will act flabbergasted. If you ask them to look into it they will start a trouble ticket which is then thrown into a waste bin. The connection eventually returns on its own for unknown reasons.
# Wi-Fi BRAND INTEROPERABILITY DOESN'T WORK. Oh, it works sometimes, but generally if you begin to mix too many different Wi-Fi brands you'll discover that they don't work well together, if at all. These companies are too busy making money to care. Get over it.
# OLD BURNED CDs FAIL. They don't fail immediately, but those old backups and files you burned onto CDs (and now DVDs) will stop working any minute. Go check some of the old ones you did. You'll see. You'll discover that you can't read a few of them already. So sorry.
# COMPUTERS CRASH MORE AS THEY GET OLDER.This is part of a scheme hatched by the hardware and software companies to get you to buy new machines. It's a slow degenerative process that you can do nothing about it. Nobody is really sure how it works. We're studying it.
----------------------------------
Any PPRuNes got some more?
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Chichester, UK
Posts: 1,650
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Some of that is undoubtedly true. Most, maybe. However, some are clearly Windows-only problems, and Dvorak is so focussed on Windows that I sometimes wonder if he knows that there is anything else out there.
Actually, I know he is aware there's something else out there, because from time to time he gives it a bashing - it's usually Apple, but ISTR him having a go at everything from AIX to Solaris. Not my favourite columnist.
Actually, I know he is aware there's something else out there, because from time to time he gives it a bashing - it's usually Apple, but ISTR him having a go at everything from AIX to Solaris. Not my favourite columnist.
Spicy Meatball
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Liverpool UK
Age: 41
Posts: 1,115
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I think he has taken a somewhat cynical view of this.
Upgrades DO help - or they wouldn't exist - I can think of lots of things I can do using the latest version of office, that I couldnt do a few years ago.
No they are not! They are a way for a beginner to put something together without faffing around through hundreds of settings. Perfect example is creating a powerpoint presentation (the beginners way). Put all your details in the wizard and hey presto. For the advanced user, OK you dont need the wizard.
Very cynical indeed, and somewhat naieve. Ok the end result is an installed program, but you can choose which components you want to install and where you want to install them to. Perfect example is when installing office - there are hundreds of options here.
True. And if you have ever tried to help someone out with a broken internet connection, you will understand!
They only fail if you dont look after them properly. Keep them in a good padded case and they will never fail.
Because you dont upgrade them!
Ok, rant mode off now but I just hate uneducated views like this (even if he is educated)
UPGRADES DO NOT HELP
WIZARDS ARE A HOAX
This option is to give you the illusion that you are smart and in control when you pick the advanced option.
WHEN YOUR NET CONNECTION IS DOWN, NOBODY WILL KNOW WHY
OLD BURNED CDs FAIL
COMPUTERS CRASH MORE AS THEY GET OLDER
Ok, rant mode off now but I just hate uneducated views like this (even if he is educated)
Plastic PPRuNer
Thread Starter
Hey, it's a JOKE guys! Jeez, should have known better than to tease the nerds...
Even ol' Evo's getting sniffy! And as for Mazzy....ROTFL!
I can't think of anything useful I can do using the latest version of M$Office, that I couldnt do a few years ago. Put all your details in the wizard and hey presto you've got another boring illegible presentation like all the rest. The concept of upgrading to stop BillG's bloatware crashing is one that I'm sure he would applaud.
Ciao!
PS: I rooted your girlfriends box and didn't use a trojan.
Even ol' Evo's getting sniffy! And as for Mazzy....ROTFL!
I can't think of anything useful I can do using the latest version of M$Office, that I couldnt do a few years ago. Put all your details in the wizard and hey presto you've got another boring illegible presentation like all the rest. The concept of upgrading to stop BillG's bloatware crashing is one that I'm sure he would applaud.
Ciao!
PS: I rooted your girlfriends box and didn't use a trojan.
Spicy Meatball
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Liverpool UK
Age: 41
Posts: 1,115
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
AARRRGH SHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT
Buggar. Had me going for a minute there
t'waz not a dig at you Mac - more at that Dvorak baffoon!
Buggar. Had me going for a minute there
t'waz not a dig at you Mac - more at that Dvorak baffoon!
TechTV is a pitiful wraith of its former self. Ever since they merged with that bloody G4 game channel. Even The Screen Savers has shifted focus more towards games & crap. What a bastard act...
The Oracle
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Naples, Florida U.S.A.
Posts: 2,902
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Tinstaafl,
I have not watched it since G4 took over. You are right, it is not the same.
They had a good thing and they "dumbed it down".
Take Care,
Richard
I have not watched it since G4 took over. You are right, it is not the same.
They had a good thing and they "dumbed it down".
Take Care,
Richard
