Slight thread drift
 

But flying back from Larnaca this week the couple sat next to me were obviously a bit thick.
Coming out over the Belgian Coast, there as clear as you could see was a huge Wind farm.

"What's that down there in the sea ?" pipes up the lady.

"A wind farm" is the guys reply.

"No, thats just silly, who are they making the electricity for, the bloody fish ? " is madam's reply.

She then continued to mumble about why on earth you would build a wind farm out at sea,and lose all the electricity. Her final comment, "No, you've got me stumperd there".

No, really ??

Classic
 

Ha ha. That's classic. I've heard some real doozies. Once I was asked if men can get off first instead of children and women. That was was very self-preservational!
Why said chivalry was dead hey?!

"Self-preservational" - like the wooden man in the Sadolin advert from yonks ago? ;-) No comment about "men getting off before women and children" though ... :}

Edit - BTW this was posted AFTER the next post - currently 23:23 in UK!

Perhaps a bladder issue? Was he over 50?

I’m frequent SLF and it never ceases to amaze me how people behave at passport control, security, boarding and disembarking. Here’s one from last Thursday going through security at BRU. They have a roller conveyor to the x-ray machine with a stack of trays at the beginning. Simple process: wait your turn, take one or two trays as needed, move on down the conveyor and start unloading your pockets etc.

There I am waiting for space on the conveyor before taking a tray when the thick SLF (henceforth TSLF) behind me is in such a hurry that he starts unloading his pockets into the tray on the top of the stack. Space opens up on the conveyor so I grab the top tray, put it on the conveyor and throw my jacket in it. Cue much gesticulating from TSLF that his stuff is under my jacket. I lift my jacket and TSLF grabs his stuff. I then go to grab another tray for my laptop but, yes you’ve guess it, TSLF has put all his stuff in that one. I ask him, in a rather harassed tone; to wait until the people in front all have a tray before he starts unloading his pockets. So, finally we all get our trays and get our stuff unloaded.

Now there are about four of us by the conveyor with our stuff in trays, waiting for the x-ray machine to catch up. Personally I like to stay with my stuff until I see it go into the x-ray machine, or at least the security guard is manhandling it in. Evidently the two people in front of me feel the same and wait but, not TSLF, he’s abandoned his stuff at the beginning of the conveyor and is through the metal detector like a rat up a drainpipe. No problem, that’s his choice, apparently he’s not bothered about pick pockets or opportunist thieves. So now he’s waiting expectantly at the other side right by the exit door of the x-ray machine. As the trays and bags each of the people in front of me move through the x-ray machine, they walk through the metal detector, try to get their stuff (which they can’t easily do because TSLF is blocking the exit of the x-ray machine) and politely ask TSLF to move out of the way so they can get their stuff.

By the time I arrived, and had to ask TSLF to move out of the way so I could get my stuff, he is getting really quite agitated as to where his stuff is. I think he genuinely couldn’t work out that his stuff would come out of the x-ray machine after the people in front of him in the queue, even though he went through the metal detector first. Presumably he thought there was a little man inside the machine that sorts all the trays in to the order which people walked through the metal detector. You do have to wonder. :ugh: ;)

A very wise man once said “remember, 49% of people are below average intelligence”. :)

Maybe he was a first-time flyer???

If there is a box and things go in one end and come out the other end, I think it is basic intelligence to work out that the things go in one end first will come out of the other end first, and the things that go in one end last will come out of the other end last. It doesn’t matter if the box is in an airport, supermarket or some other place.

Something which many passengers clearly lack, along with basic manners. In fairness though, I have a friend who is a very nervous flyer and she loses the plot before she has to fly.

Unless you're an accountant and you're company practices LIFO inventory

Any your point is? My story was about someone acting daft at security. How does a company’s warehouse practices have any relevance to that? Unless of course you are suggesting that he works in a warehouse that uses LIFO and henceforth applies that principal to all situations he meets in the outside world. In which case he is as daft as he appeared to be. :p

Was on a flight last year and the cabin lights were dimmed for departure. The cabin got quiet as the passengers anticipated takeoff. And then a young boy (about 3yo) shouted: "cockadoodledooooo... "

The whole cabin was in stitches. :)

May have posted this before, as a passenger I have now 'mastered' security.

Travel with as little hand luggage as possible is basically the key. And just say hello to the security people. That's not a ploy, simply that I have long realised that being nice is nice.

However, I am frequently astounded by people.

1. Lady in front of me at London City had bags full of wrapped presents.
Security staff asks her "Can you tell me what's in them?"
Her reply: "I have no idea."

Cue intake of breath through gritted teeth from me, stuck behind her until I am waved through.

2. Group of 5-6 clearly rich 18/19 year olds who fail to understand (or listen) to requests. Everytime security officer asks them "OK, do you have anything else, anything electronic in your pockets?"

"Just my iPhone. Is that electronic?"

It goes on and on.

3. Obnoxious man at Gatwick pushes me out of the way (I'm big, it was some shove) to my obvious shock. I say hello to security officer, who noticed the incident. Who then subjects obnoxious man to full security sweep. Hehe. Shoes off, hand luggage opened, questions, the lot.



My big pet het is that when items come through the scanner, people start getting all their stuff the moment it hits the rollers, causing congestion. Just wait for it to get to the end!

Rant Over.

end of long story .... went back to apologise to the pax. for landing at Manchester instead of London - after 8 hours flying from New York.

Lord Muck, Chairman of A Very Big Company, asked why I hadn't told them earlier that it was foggy at London ? I said - actually it wasn't, ( until very recently ) and what would you have done, got off ?

Lady Muck nearly wet herself and hid her laughter behind a magazine.

Sadly, Graham Hill killed himself, and others, about an hour later trying to land in fog. How I wished Lord Muck had still been around.

Turned out he would have tried to get me to get a message to our Company Chairman - a "personal" friend of his - to organise a private Rolls to drive to Manchester to pick him up. Tough, he travelled British Rail from Crewe, like everyone else.

Lord King must have had an address book the size of the Manhatten telephone directory with the number of his 'personal friends' I carried over the years!

and I was supposed to place an HF radio call in flight to Control Centre to organise a telephone call to said Chairman ( days before cellphones or ACARS ) whilst dealing with a demanding diversion ? Yeah ! Right !

Same flight - another "precious" pax. advised that he was a Private Pilot and could land in 150m visibility in fog, so what was wrong with me ? Another to whom I would have had great pleasure on relating the sad news of Graham Hill !

Well dressed Indian businessman ahead of me in security at toilet-town "airport" puts his explosive-proof ziplock bag full of toiletries in the tray. Security muppet, aged about 19 looks hard at it and very condescendingly tells him it isn't legal. He naturally enquires why and is told its an inch too wide...and he must buy a replacement bag for an outrageous amount of money from a nearby slot machine. he looks utterly flummoxed as well he might but complies politely and tries to stuff his goods into the smaller bag which wasn't big enough to close. The jobsworth security muppet-girl accepts this (despite the bag now lacking its explosive-proof capabilities by being open) despite it being as "illegal" as the extra inch had been a minute ago. Businessman looks completely disbelieving and tries to reason with muppet, saying, "I can't see what difference it makes, you are an intelligent person..."

This surely has to be the daftest SLF comment ever!

Thick or not, they pay our wages!! (Vast majority are decent intelligent people)

Thank you SADDLER - we're way ahead of you on that one... Do try and keep up at the back.

Last night. Tenerife flight. Pax asks "Are you going back to EG** on this aircraft?" CC answers "Yes". Pax asks "Is that the same flight home that we will be on when we go home in 2 weeks?" CC answers "Yes". Pax asks "Will it be on time or are we going to be delayed?"

:ugh:

Sometimes I do wonder if the door is there to keep terrorists out or to protect us from catching 'Dumb Disease' off of the pax.

Perhaps the irony escaped you.