First up and hands down - I am not part of the CC network, but I do have total admiration for the poo that you lot have to put up with and have really enjoyed reading this thread - thank you!!

Regarding: Now, if i may digress momentarily from the skies to the ground, a girlfriend of mine used to work at a reknowned florist...

They were doing a big floristry demo at a famous 'home' show in London and the company's products was stacked up on the shelving units behind them, one of which was a peony scented bath and shower range.... A smartly dressed, international woman approached my girlfriend and asked her if the reason that their fresh peonies smelt so lovely was due to them washing them with the soap.....???!!!!!!

sorry i know, irrevelant to the industry, but thought it was a example of the low stupidity of joe public as most of the 'high' ones have been covered so far!

:rolleyes:

Do passengers trying it on qualify as thick?
 

Hi All,


Posting from HKG, just got got off a flight where the IFE was misbehaving, lost of apologies from CC during flight, but as we disembarked a couple near me tried to convince a transfer agent that they were promised upgrades to club for the inconvenience for their onward leg... Only a slight hint of "oh really?" with his smile as he asked them for the details of the (non existant) promise - which they started to create on the fly. Images in my head of paint and corners and second coats. Has there been a thread on the stunts pax try to pull?

Anyway, I fly a reasonable amount for work and try to be one of the SLF you don't notice. I'll be the guy in the corner mostly asleep with the large bottle of water in my lap (when I'm allowed). However, I often have to ask CC to repeat questions and sometimes don't undertand even the coffee or tea puzzler. Something about the constant noise and the pressure and the attempted sleep makes me groggy.

Really amusing reading some of these and thank you to all the happy CC I've encountered :D

737 Syd to NZ
 

Pax - Will this aircraft make it to nz?
Me - Not as yet but today could be our first!!:ugh:

LOL, heard that one just yesterday and almost everytime accross the tasman on the 737.

I often say that the techies are just working that out at the moment and I will get back to them. . . :ok:

Awwww you guys say the nicest things!:}

Wexcan-I can assure you that I am leaving EZY asap! Maybe I have flown with you?

Oh and Judd I can assure you that I am in no way as common as Ms Jade Goody :8 But yes I am shallow and take great delight in applying more Juicy Tube lipgloss as I sit in the back galley having a moan. And yes, as soon as I leave the wonderful world of flying I will no longer post here.

How many of you have gone in the back galley to moan about passengers? How many of you really care about the above pax? How many of you really enjoy your job and can say it brings great personal satisfaction?


Virginia-the perfect flying waitress (yes I know we are onboard for safety but recently it seems like all I do is serve overpriced bevarages and snacks to chavs)

Just to get back on track: Not the best ever, but definitely an everyday thickness:

-What kind of sandwiches do you have?
-Mozzarella cheese or ham and cheese. Which one would you like?
-I'll have the one with cheese, please...
(This did not always mean Mozzarella cheese...:ugh: )

Oh, just remembered an other one!!!!

Crew member is standing in the middle of the cabin during boarding of course in bright orange uniform...
Pax looking for someone to ask about seating: "Do you work for easyJet?"

:hmm:

I do love the funny things pax say, but i used to fly for VS and believe me, some of the crew are equally stoopid! Dishing out landing cards before landing at LHR, a colleague asked 'does the guy in 46D need a landing card, he said he doesn't know'
I told her, does he have an EU passport, to which she trotted off to check.
2 mins later she returned, 'he has an Argentinian passport', so i told her well theres your answer, to which she replied, 'is Argentina in the EU'!!!

Also had another colleague ask me whilst in NYC, 'is that the same moon we see in England'

One final lil gem, a colleague once told me she put doors in manual before reaching stand, when i asked what she would do in an emergency, she reckoned she would just pull manual inflation handle! Thankfully i never flew with her again.:ugh:

I fly a lot with Ryanair and always try to get an, overwing emergency exit aisle seat for the legroom. On one flight just after the cabin crew had finished the closed doors check the lady next to me turned to her partner and said "Why is it always Manuel who has to check the doors?"

I moved across the aisle.......................just in case!

I Virginia and her colleagues are expected to 'deal' more 'professionally' with passengers of the type cited, I would suggest that their job descriptions be amended to include the word 'therapist' and they get paid a lot more money. The obese woman speaking out of turn should really have been to a shrink to sort out her food-related maladjustment instead of dumping it on the nearest suitable victim, and I don't blame Virginia in the slightest for dealing with the unpleasantness it clearly caused her, in any way she sees fit.

I had this comment from a passenger just the other day after the demo

"It would make us feel a lot more secure if you were not wearing your lifejacket " !!!!

HELLO !!

And there was me, as SLF, thinking cabin crew were there primarily for pax safety! :ugh:

I'm not CC, just occasional SLF, but fully sympathise with you guys for the crap that chavs and general retards sling at you. So with this in mind I'll relay my little story of how being polite to CC/groundies pays (literaly).

I was at Sandford airport (Florida) returning home -coincidently after doing my PPL (yes, another bleedin' amateur airplane driver, I know) and was late for my flight, my fault really as I'd not allowed for the huge queues. There weren't many staff on as it was the xmas/new year dead-zone presumably and folk were getting pretty wound up. When I got to the front of the queue the fella politly told me I was too late for my flight (no surprise to me) and as my ticket was non-transferrable, I'd have to buy another. Meanwhile, those on either side (two counter to left and two to the right) were being told the same, they went into meltdown, some of them really losing it. However, much as I was pissed off and wanted to say something along the lines of "Well if your airline had more staff on etc." I just said "Oh" and went quiet.
The fella checked prices and came up with an eye-watering $1100!! My profanity circuit went into overdrive in my head and only in my head, I responded, "Oh, that's an awful lot of money, I do understand the circumstances and accept I was late, but I can't really run to that, Is there anything you can do to help me out?" He did his best for five minutes then called his supervisor over to do the same, meanwhile, chavs anonomous all around were shouting and screaming and threatening etc all and sundry. After another five minutes the supervisor looked up at me and said "Sorry Sir, the best we can do is $170 and you'll have a further four hour wait for the flight" Without seeming to bite his hand off I thanked him and asked "Is Mastercard OK?". He processed the ticket, I thanked them both for their efforts and trundled off to wait for my flight as some of the rowdy stroppy chavs were being 'Escorted from the premises' by large blokes with guns!!! Certainly two of the other lots were swearing away at having to shoulder the full cost of their replacement tickets.

Moral of the story? Ask yourself, would you be more disposed to help out someone who was being polite and talking in a quiet respectful tone or a mouthy obnoxous chav?
This tack has also worked for me with the police when they pull you on the road, I learned this as a tennager, be polite and you'll get off with a warning. you just have to watch those 'Airline' type programmes (I'm gulity of working in TV so have alot of exposure to consumer type issues) to see this in action.

Ya'all be cool out there now. (you can always have a Tourettes moment later in private!!)

Be seeing you...
;) :cool:

Was on my first every flight to LHR, serving lunch to this British Indian pax

Me: Sir, would you prefer chicken or beef?
Pax: (Pulling down his tray table) I have a British passport
Me: So you don't have to eat? :hmm:

Another funny incident relayed to me by my friend. She was operating a flight to CGK. A pax was fumbling with the lav door, trying to open it.

Crew: Push, Madam, push (Demonstrating pushing motion at the same time)
The pax took a look at her, went very near to the door and....
Pax:Push.....push....

She quickly went over and open the door for the lady and proceeded to burst into laughter in the galley. "Open sesame" anyone?

Oh, please...
 

Offering landing cards into London.

Me:" Landing Cards, uk immigration cards" etc etc..
U.S pax: "Do I need one of those?"
Me: "Which passport do you hold?"
U.S pax: "American"
Me: "Are you stayng in the United Kingdom?"
U.S pax: "No. We are going to Edinburgh. (Read Edinboro)
Me, as a Scot, "Well you will need one for London and one for "Scaatland"

Made sure they filled in two each...:ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

Lovely lady pax comes to rear of B737, looks at both toilets, then says "Is there a difference between males and females?"

Bit my tongue (hard) to prevent myself from saying "Yes, one has sausage & 2 vege, the other has (insert appropriate female euphamism here)" and actually said, with a smile, "no ma'am, both are available for you to use"

:E

I have sometimes thought it would be a good idea if there was a dedicated urinal-only lav. for the blokes. This is usually when standing there busting my neck for a pee while a lady spends 30 mins in there titivating...

Male Crew
 

It still cracks me up everytime during the bar service a passenger asks me: 'Do you have any nuts?' I just always giggle to my self, if only I could think of a witty reply....:E

One boast of my current boss is that he once worked as cabin crew and flew all over the world. Today someone asked him where the British Virgin Islands were. Without missing a beat back came the reply, "Between Australia and New Zealand." Thank goodness he was CC and not up the pointy end.