Flight Crew Joke
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Flight Crew Joke
The Airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc.
Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."
Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"
When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."
"My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cock pit."
"Now it's the box office."
Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."
Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"
When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."
"My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cock pit."
"Now it's the box office."
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Yes, the other day I was asking a captain what he thought of one of the new female FOs and he shook his head and said "they didnt name it the cockpit for nothing, its not called a box office".....
And here I was thinking the clever chap had made it all up by himself!
And here I was thinking the clever chap had made it all up by himself!
Last edited by sebby; 25th Feb 2007 at 09:23. Reason: spelling again!
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Here's one, though I am aware it is not totally in the interest of CRM but I was told this on BY A pilot.
Q: What is black, twelve inches long and hangs in ass#$%?
A: A pilot's tie.
Q: What is black, twelve inches long and hangs in ass#$%?
A: A pilot's tie.
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Q. How do you stop a Flight Attendant from having an orgasm?
A. Press the Call Button - She'll never come.
(sorry just had to redress the balance)
A. Press the Call Button - She'll never come.
(sorry just had to redress the balance)
Last edited by Angus McOatup; 27th Feb 2007 at 17:31.
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The one about the "cockpit" is an old one...
Was even used in the original "Airport" film.
Something in the lone of "Oh, Captain, you two are such MEN!!"..."Well, they don't call you the COCKPIT for nothing..." BoomBoom
Was even used in the original "Airport" film.
Something in the lone of "Oh, Captain, you two are such MEN!!"..."Well, they don't call you the COCKPIT for nothing..." BoomBoom
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What's the difference between a pilot and a pig?
A pig doesn't turn into a pilot after 6 beers...
What's the difference between a condom and a cockpit?
You can only fit one d**k in a condom...
Why do so many pilots die so soon after retirement?
Because nobody told their wives they had to be fed and watered every f****ng 20 minutes....
How can you tell you've got cabin crew at your party?
They all stand in the kitchen, eat all your food, talk about you behind your back and wipe their hands on your curtains...
How can you tell you've got a pilot at your party?
0h, he'll tell you....
I could go on, but think I'll leave it for now. For the record, I like nice people with stripes...
A pig doesn't turn into a pilot after 6 beers...
What's the difference between a condom and a cockpit?
You can only fit one d**k in a condom...
Why do so many pilots die so soon after retirement?
Because nobody told their wives they had to be fed and watered every f****ng 20 minutes....
How can you tell you've got cabin crew at your party?
They all stand in the kitchen, eat all your food, talk about you behind your back and wipe their hands on your curtains...
How can you tell you've got a pilot at your party?
0h, he'll tell you....
I could go on, but think I'll leave it for now. For the record, I like nice people with stripes...
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3 blokes sat in a bar looking glum. one says to another "whats up?"
The man replies " my sex life is getting me down, the wife is a nurse and whenever we go to bed she comes in with a cold wet flannel and washes me down first"
"thats nothing" the other replies, "my wife is a teacher and whenever we have sex, my wife shouts at me and hits me with a ruler".
The last man says "you both have nothing to worry about, my wife is an air hostess and whenever we have sex she stands up and says "put this over your nose and mouth and breathe normally"."
6
The man replies " my sex life is getting me down, the wife is a nurse and whenever we go to bed she comes in with a cold wet flannel and washes me down first"
"thats nothing" the other replies, "my wife is a teacher and whenever we have sex, my wife shouts at me and hits me with a ruler".
The last man says "you both have nothing to worry about, my wife is an air hostess and whenever we have sex she stands up and says "put this over your nose and mouth and breathe normally"."
6
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a few more
sorry to the flight deck, but have to post these ones too...
What separates cabin crew from the scum of the earth?
The flight deck door.
What separates the c*&t from the as#*$%e?
The centre console.
What separates cabin crew from the scum of the earth?
The flight deck door.
What separates the c*&t from the as#*$%e?
The centre console.
