You Know You're a Flight Attendant if..
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You Know You're a Flight Attendant if..
>>YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT IF...
>>
>>1. You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
>>2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
>>3. You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store
>>4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard
>>5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
>>6. You NEVER unpack
>>7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by
>>their faces
>>8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit
>>in the overhead bin
>>9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
>>10. You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways
>>11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness bags-none of which
>>pertain to vomit
>>12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
>>13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
>>14. You don't think in "months"-you think in "bid packs"
>>15. You always point with two fingers
>>16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
>>17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks,
>>have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
>>18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At
>>this time, " "For your safety, " "Feel free, " and "As a reminder"
>>19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch,
>>Star, and People magazines
>>20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to
>>make sure the "gauge is in the green"
>>21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
>>22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure
>>out where you are
>>23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
>>24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling.
>>25. You actually understand every item on this list
>>
>>1. You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
>>2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
>>3. You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store
>>4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard
>>5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
>>6. You NEVER unpack
>>7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by
>>their faces
>>8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit
>>in the overhead bin
>>9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
>>10. You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways
>>11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness bags-none of which
>>pertain to vomit
>>12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
>>13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
>>14. You don't think in "months"-you think in "bid packs"
>>15. You always point with two fingers
>>16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
>>17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks,
>>have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
>>18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At
>>this time, " "For your safety, " "Feel free, " and "As a reminder"
>>19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch,
>>Star, and People magazines
>>20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to
>>make sure the "gauge is in the green"
>>21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
>>22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure
>>out where you are
>>23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
>>24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling.
>>25. You actually understand every item on this list
You know you're passenger may very well be a flight attendant too.... when the meal tray comes back nearly as neat and flat as when it was handed out!!
Last edited by flitegirl; 15th Dec 2006 at 05:35. Reason: spl.
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Originally Posted by Midnight-63
You wipe your hands on the curtains at home
- then realised its not the galley but really your kitchen, you are not on descent, and your Lean Cuisine is dried out cause you have tried to re-heat it for the 3rd time running, but keep getting interrupted!
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Gay Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing
the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your
trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you
to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, In my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch!!"
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing
the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your
trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you
to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, In my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch!!"
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Thats a funny one, ive heard it a few times but the funniest situation I heard it in was when we were in the crew bus on the way to our hotel and the driver told it to us and that it had happened on his flight recently. We laughed hard obviously.... AT HIM!!
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Maybe it should read.......
You know you're a "Jetstar" flight attendant.....when you brush crumbs off your lounge and then kick them underneath during the tv advertisment break. Cause thats how quick our turnarounds are!
(but maybe only JQ FA's will get this one!)
(but maybe only JQ FA's will get this one!)
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And most of Europe with 20 min turnarounds
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Not for laughs, just purely being neurotic, but I've become far more safety obsessed since becoming crew. When I go on holiday for example, on finding my seat I look for the nearest set of exits both in front and behind of me, shoosh family or friends near me during the safety demo and have a quick feel under my seat for a life jacket. I've also noticed I've begun getting "announcement tone" whenever giving people instructions, you know when you're voice fluctuates a lot and also finding reasons to get words like "at this time" and "may I remind you."
Maybe six years is enough!
Maybe six years is enough!
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i've only been doing it 6 months and i'm exactly the same as you bmibaby.com ha ha! i really annoyed my brother on my recent flight to JFK lol. at first he found it interesting, asking me why they do that and what are they doing now. but when i didnt shut up about things they weren't doing or were doing wrong i think he got a little fed up hehe! 
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oooh i remember when this kind of thing went around a while ago.. check out some more funny responses here:
http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=142838
You know your a flight attendant if:
* You carry a personal first aid kit around with you and have tablets and remedies for every conceivable ailment in your handbag
* When someone asks you what a city is like you immediatly talk about how bad/good the hotel is (and forget about the actual city)
* Your hotel taste becomes fussier. What may seem as 5* luxury to someone else becomes to you a filthy cess pit full of ants, dirty carpet and "that rude waiter in the restaurant on the 4th floor"
* You refuse to let anyone sit in your car without a seatbelt on/ you harness your dogs into the back seat with a seatbelt.
* Your wine collection is 50% mini size bottles from the aircraft and hotels.
* You dont buy soap at the supermarket anymore... and your entire family has bathrooms full of hotel ammenity kits.
* Every second thought when booking something is "airline discount?"
* You cant eat slowly even if you try
* When you hear chimes in a shopping centre/restaurant/public place you immediatly look up...
http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=142838
You know your a flight attendant if:
* You carry a personal first aid kit around with you and have tablets and remedies for every conceivable ailment in your handbag
* When someone asks you what a city is like you immediatly talk about how bad/good the hotel is (and forget about the actual city)
* Your hotel taste becomes fussier. What may seem as 5* luxury to someone else becomes to you a filthy cess pit full of ants, dirty carpet and "that rude waiter in the restaurant on the 4th floor"
* You refuse to let anyone sit in your car without a seatbelt on/ you harness your dogs into the back seat with a seatbelt.
* Your wine collection is 50% mini size bottles from the aircraft and hotels.
* You dont buy soap at the supermarket anymore... and your entire family has bathrooms full of hotel ammenity kits.
* Every second thought when booking something is "airline discount?"
* You cant eat slowly even if you try
* When you hear chimes in a shopping centre/restaurant/public place you immediatly look up...
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You know your a flight attendant if:
1. You are completely indifferent to customer service
2. You teat passenger like they are fee-loaders, not paying guests
3. Fail to look at someone when you talk to them
4. You are only doing the job for the free holiday / flights
5. you can do that false smile nonsense
6. you steal all the decent magazines intended for the pax
7. say there are no veggies meals cus you can't be bothered to look
8. get your own back on a difficult pax
9. wear too much cheap perfume
10. are probably quite a nice person when not flying
Sorry to be so harsh poeple - but you know some of this is true. I have met many extreamely nice flight attendants, but a few really bring down the many.
1. You are completely indifferent to customer service
2. You teat passenger like they are fee-loaders, not paying guests
3. Fail to look at someone when you talk to them
4. You are only doing the job for the free holiday / flights
5. you can do that false smile nonsense
6. you steal all the decent magazines intended for the pax
7. say there are no veggies meals cus you can't be bothered to look
8. get your own back on a difficult pax
9. wear too much cheap perfume
10. are probably quite a nice person when not flying
Sorry to be so harsh poeple - but you know some of this is true. I have met many extreamely nice flight attendants, but a few really bring down the many.
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Baa Humbug !!! 
And we don't wear cheap perfume as duty free is very cheap or we just open the boxes
,
Also we love giving out all the veggie meals as it means more meal's (Chicken/Beef) for us .
Merry christmas !
And we don't wear cheap perfume as duty free is very cheap or we just open the boxes
,Also we love giving out all the veggie meals as it means more meal's (Chicken/Beef) for us .
Merry christmas !
Last edited by BMED LHR; 21st Dec 2006 at 10:41.
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Well highflyin arent you just a ray of sunshine and yuletide cheer!!! 
You know you are a flight attendant when you hear people slag off your job/colleagues etc etc on a regular basis!
You know you are a flight attendant when you hear people slag off your job/colleagues etc etc on a regular basis!
Not for laughs, just purely being neurotic, but I've become far more safety obsessed since becoming crew. When I go on holiday for example, on finding my seat I look for the nearest set of exits both in front and behind of me, shoosh family or friends near me during the safety demo and have a quick feel under my seat for a life jacket.
Apologies for the slight thread drift, but this comment reminded me of something that happened to me recently. I'd just landed at Plymouth from Gatwick on way to Newquay. Some pax disembarked whilst we remained, the crew checked overhead bins and seat backs etc looking for any nasties being left behind. Nobody checked the life jackets - (a) to see if they were still there or (b) to make sure nothing that shouldn't be there was left behind. is this standard on a loco quick turnaround?