Sexual harassment or acceptable?
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interesting topic
On this occasion I would have taken that passengers comment as a compliment for sure!
But what about phone numbers?
A passenger left their name and phone number for me with my cabin manager as they disembarked the aircraft the other day.
Apart from feeling a little flattered and slightly embarassed (as the rest of the crew thought it was a great laugh :P) I didn't think too much of it. Would any of you Ppruneers think that to be inappropriate?
And what about a crew member giving out their phone number to a passenger. I've seen this done before too..........
Its interesting, where do you draw the line?
But what about phone numbers?
A passenger left their name and phone number for me with my cabin manager as they disembarked the aircraft the other day.
Apart from feeling a little flattered and slightly embarassed (as the rest of the crew thought it was a great laugh :P) I didn't think too much of it. Would any of you Ppruneers think that to be inappropriate?
And what about a crew member giving out their phone number to a passenger. I've seen this done before too..........
Its interesting, where do you draw the line?
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I'm one of those people who always seems to have a smile on my face. I get complimented on this quite often (at least once a trip). I have never thought of this as anything other than just a nice compliment.
Dancing with the devil, going with the flow... it's all a game to me.
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In most customer service environments the customer is not allowed to verbally abuse an employee and any such behaviour is usually allowed at least one warning, after that the company is within their rights to refuse service etc.
Paying a member of staff a compliment is perfectly acceptable. If the recipient did not appreciate the comment they are free to say so although their company may question their judgement in employing someone who cannot take such a compliment in good nature!
It becomes harrasment after the recipient has made clear they do not like the attention but it in most cases would need to be within reason, ie; prolonged or physical contact. One compliment from a satisfied customer is certainly not within that framework.
VFE.
Paying a member of staff a compliment is perfectly acceptable. If the recipient did not appreciate the comment they are free to say so although their company may question their judgement in employing someone who cannot take such a compliment in good nature!
It becomes harrasment after the recipient has made clear they do not like the attention but it in most cases would need to be within reason, ie; prolonged or physical contact. One compliment from a satisfied customer is certainly not within that framework.
VFE.
Last edited by VFE; 14th Nov 2004 at 12:06.
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Far from being unacceptable, I think this kind of thing should be actively encouraged. A random compliment from a stranger or acquaintance can make your day, even down to brightening up a really blue one.
And surely anyone with half a brain knows instinctively where the line between sleazy approach and nice compliment lies?
And surely anyone with half a brain knows instinctively where the line between sleazy approach and nice compliment lies?
Dancing with the devil, going with the flow... it's all a game to me.
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Amongst work collegues the boundries should be formed by the recipient. They are the ones who can allow the attention to go as far or as short as they want. A typical case would be if someone sent you an email at work saying you had "nice tits". If you felt this made you feel uncomfortable you should say so and then it is the sender's responsibility to cease that particular behaviour. Should they send further emails with sexual references this could then, by definition, be classed as harassment.
An understanding workplace might attempt some development in that area for those involved and perhaps issue a written warning for the sender. A more proactive employer would educate employees from the start of their employment but this is still a sensitive area for employers as this can be interpreted as patronising by some.
Unless the harassement was physical the matter would not normally be taken to the police. Dismissal is usually the last resort and the official reasons are rarely for harassment but for other work orientated reasons on which the employer can more safely base a dismissal without legal reprisals.
VFE.
An understanding workplace might attempt some development in that area for those involved and perhaps issue a written warning for the sender. A more proactive employer would educate employees from the start of their employment but this is still a sensitive area for employers as this can be interpreted as patronising by some.
Unless the harassement was physical the matter would not normally be taken to the police. Dismissal is usually the last resort and the official reasons are rarely for harassment but for other work orientated reasons on which the employer can more safely base a dismissal without legal reprisals.
VFE.
Super-Friendly Aviator
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Nice compliment frankly. Sad that the question is even raised. There's more important things in life to get in a fuss over, crikey.
Moving on...
V1R
Moving on...
V1R
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Yes, that probably is all there is to say about Snoopy's particular incident. But there's a wider issue here, isn't there?
Is it my imagination, or are intelligent women (oxymoron? Nope!) getting more and more fed up with the bad name being given our sex by these daft girls slinging accusations of harrassment at every man who admires their new outfit, or whatever?
Harrassment is horrible. But to chuck out one of the great pleasures of daily life -- giving and receiving compliments -- over some escalating paranoia, is very, very sad.
Is it my imagination, or are intelligent women (oxymoron? Nope!) getting more and more fed up with the bad name being given our sex by these daft girls slinging accusations of harrassment at every man who admires their new outfit, or whatever?
Harrassment is horrible. But to chuck out one of the great pleasures of daily life -- giving and receiving compliments -- over some escalating paranoia, is very, very sad.
Dancing with the devil, going with the flow... it's all a game to me.
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Personally I don't think Snoopy has been wrong to raise this issue because it highlights just how clueless some people entering the workplace are these days and as the saying goes, the only stupid question is the question you don't ask.
Common sense is not that common when it comes to matters of sex and legalities. People sniff the old pound notes and their mind starts to calculate and certainly some people appear to relish in a kind of warped kudos with such personal matters these days. How many times have you heard someone announce they are on Prozac, experienced abuse, were bullied, harassed etc... in the apparent hope of receiving some sympathy, attention or social dispensation? 'Heroin chic' comes from the same place. This may sound cruel but we all know that some people do this - usually the younger cases.
It all comes from the same area of modern lifestyle which probably started off in the United States. 'Political Correctness' and a yearning for attention and money which subsequently has the result of belittling the issues which really warrant our attention as a caring society.
VFE.
Common sense is not that common when it comes to matters of sex and legalities. People sniff the old pound notes and their mind starts to calculate and certainly some people appear to relish in a kind of warped kudos with such personal matters these days. How many times have you heard someone announce they are on Prozac, experienced abuse, were bullied, harassed etc... in the apparent hope of receiving some sympathy, attention or social dispensation? 'Heroin chic' comes from the same place. This may sound cruel but we all know that some people do this - usually the younger cases.
It all comes from the same area of modern lifestyle which probably started off in the United States. 'Political Correctness' and a yearning for attention and money which subsequently has the result of belittling the issues which really warrant our attention as a caring society.
VFE.
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That's a pathetic world we are living in, where one does no longer differentiate Sexual Harrasment from compliment ....
If this question is regarded as such, I couldn't imagine your reaction if he asked :
"Hey ! Fancy a shag ? "
If this question is regarded as such, I couldn't imagine your reaction if he asked :
"Hey ! Fancy a shag ? "
Thread Starter
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Thanks all of you for your open and frank comments. I'm glad to see that pretty much all of you see things the way that I do.
Just to put matters straight (some of the later posters seem to think that it was I that took the comment as constituting sexual harassment), I was actually the passenger in question.
I made the comment to one of the FAs while I was deplaning. She said "thank you" very graciously (but also blushed quite obviously). A (female) colleague who was some way behind me and who had not heard what I said, but had seen the FA blush asked me what I had done to make her blush. I told her (and sincerely wish I hadn't!). She really took me to task for embarassing the "poor girl", putting her in a difficult situation and pretty much accused me of sexual harassment.
Well, after I had picked myself up off the floor, I started thinking about what she had said and figured that although my comment had certainly been a well-intentioned compliment, just maybe it had been perceived differently. I figured, who better to ask than FAs who deal with passengers regularly, which is why I turned to the Cabin Crew section of Pprune.
I am really much encouraged to read that most of you would perceive it as a compliment, just as it was intended. I hope the young lady in question did also.
Thanks again to all who bothered replying
Snoopy
Just to put matters straight (some of the later posters seem to think that it was I that took the comment as constituting sexual harassment), I was actually the passenger in question.
I made the comment to one of the FAs while I was deplaning. She said "thank you" very graciously (but also blushed quite obviously). A (female) colleague who was some way behind me and who had not heard what I said, but had seen the FA blush asked me what I had done to make her blush. I told her (and sincerely wish I hadn't!). She really took me to task for embarassing the "poor girl", putting her in a difficult situation and pretty much accused me of sexual harassment.
Well, after I had picked myself up off the floor, I started thinking about what she had said and figured that although my comment had certainly been a well-intentioned compliment, just maybe it had been perceived differently. I figured, who better to ask than FAs who deal with passengers regularly, which is why I turned to the Cabin Crew section of Pprune.
I am really much encouraged to read that most of you would perceive it as a compliment, just as it was intended. I hope the young lady in question did also.
Thanks again to all who bothered replying
Snoopy
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Why didn't you just say so
Snoopy,
Well why didn't you say that in the first place!
I read it as you were implying the comment was S/H.
Therefore I thought you were a nutter or it was a wind up
"who can we inflame" post.
You are redeemed little dog
Well why didn't you say that in the first place!
I read it as you were implying the comment was S/H.
Therefore I thought you were a nutter or it was a wind up
"who can we inflame" post.
You are redeemed little dog
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I think some people take a simple comment or gesture too far. For me I find it quite a laugh when a male passenger that would obviously have no chance with me makes a remark or like on the Moscow the other day one of them kissed my hand and took a photo of me as he left the aircraft, but I know of some girls who would make it into such a big deal. I think there's a line. If it's a simple kiss on the hand or even one pinch on the bum or something it's ok in my book, but if throughout the whole flight they kept doing it, kept making horrible comments etc. then I'd say that could possibly turn into harrassment, unless it was a real cutie, then hey, be my guest! 
(Only kidding!)
(Only kidding!)
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For me I find it quite a laugh when a male passenger that would obviously have no chance with me makes a remark
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"Or even one pinch on the bum.." Sarah??? No, no, no!!
Thing is, the compliments or even attempted chat-ups I've staunchly defended until now have appealed to the BRAIN of the C/C in question, and only work on the premise that said Brain exists. How exactly does a pinch on the bum do that?? That's the difference: It's not a matter of degree, as in One pinch or two, but of implied attitude. A compliment, or a clever line, even if risque, or even a straightforward suggestion: Yes. Uninvited physical contact: No. Not because it's more "threatening", but because it attempts to bypass the intelligence, and is therefore more insulting. IMHO.
OK, OK, I'll shuddup. For now.
Thing is, the compliments or even attempted chat-ups I've staunchly defended until now have appealed to the BRAIN of the C/C in question, and only work on the premise that said Brain exists. How exactly does a pinch on the bum do that?? That's the difference: It's not a matter of degree, as in One pinch or two, but of implied attitude. A compliment, or a clever line, even if risque, or even a straightforward suggestion: Yes. Uninvited physical contact: No. Not because it's more "threatening", but because it attempts to bypass the intelligence, and is therefore more insulting. IMHO.
OK, OK, I'll shuddup. For now.
Bear Behind
There was I, about 18 months ago, sitting in First on a Northwest DC10 just after boarding in SEA headed for HNL. Flight attendant tells me I have a lovely smile.
Chuffed to little mintballs, I was. Made my day - nay, week. And I'm a chap and the FA was a jolly affable lass before anyone asks. It works both ways, you see, and obviously the PC brigade hadn't reached Northwest at that stage - thank the Lord. I sincerely hope they never do.
Chuffed to little mintballs, I was. Made my day - nay, week. And I'm a chap and the FA was a jolly affable lass before anyone asks. It works both ways, you see, and obviously the PC brigade hadn't reached Northwest at that stage - thank the Lord. I sincerely hope they never do.