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Old 12th May 2004, 13:04
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Inappropriate Pax Comments

Why is it pax think they can say whatever they like to us? Or ask really personal / private questions?

The other morning I greated a group of women as they boarded and one said "You look really tired. Like you've had the life drained out of you. Have you been out all night?"

Known for my witty reparte I replied "You're not looking too good yourself, Babe."

She looked at me stunned and then started laughing. I must admit I am glad she didn't take me comment as a negative one (even though it was but I didn't want her thinking that!).

What was I supposed to say? "Yeh Lady. I am trashed - still f**ked. Off my chops. Just left the dancefloor."

Or should I have told her the truth. In the last 12 days I had one day off. I had just done 4 lates (all 9 hour days) and then a min rest NTL where I got 4 hours sleep and swapped to an early (after a fortnight of 1400 Sign Ons). It wasn't even 0800 and I was already operating my second sector that day.

I was once asked if I was Jewish. I told them "Yes but I forgot my little hat..." (They seemed offended by my response and moreso when I told them it was really not their place to be asking!)

I was also once asked if I had "any Aboriginal in me" to which I responded "Yes. Once or twice."

I had this lady onboard one day tell me she was cheating on her husband with an Army guy half her age. He was really great in bed....

One time this woman told me she was having sex with her best friend's sister.

I once had a guy tell me all about partner the swapping he got into with this neighbours.

I was told I should have work done on my teeth and they would look better with some bleaching.

What is this c**p?! I mean we would never be allowed to approach pax in such a manner yet they do it to us. Maybe because they know we can't bite back?

Anyone else had this problem? Or do I attract all the freaks?
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Old 12th May 2004, 13:33
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You are in the customer service role, much like bartenders, haridressers etc .... you are someone who spends a fair deal of time with the public, as a paid service staff member, and you choose to do the job....

dont knock them too much, they pay your wages.

Oh, and if the passengers comment that you look tired, you can bet you do look tired.... they rarely lie about how crew look


They have a right to comment, they pay as much for how we look and perform as they do the tickets, its all part of the package .... they wanna see happy, alert looking crew ..... sometimes you gotta put on the 'awake' look even when you are dog tired it certainly is not their fault you havent had many days off, and have been working nights .... they expect the best from the crew, as that flight is the first time they have seen you .... they arent aware or concerned with what sectors you have done before their sector ......... so please dont bag them out for comments made to you .... they were probably just stating the obvious (as after all thats what SLF do best !!)

no offence meant, but you gotta be prepared to take the good with the bad with this job .... and sometimes our customers really do just need someone to listen to them .... it's all part of the service.

If they have personal comments about you, just take it on the chin --- no point whinging about it, or making smart-ar$e come-backs etc ....thats just plain unprofessional.

it will never stop.... and as they dont know you on a personal level, I cant see why you would take it to heart

so, basically, after time .... you will learn to get over it !
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Old 12th May 2004, 13:33
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Just people being people - probably unaware that they are causing offence, and actually intending to achieve the opposite.

Best just smile and roll with it!

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Old 12th May 2004, 13:45
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Yeah I find the comments inappropriate and annoying. But I deal with it. As FAs dealing with it is our answer to everything thrown at us! I was wondering if anyone else gets these bizzare comments from no where. Just trying to have some fun.

I probably looked VERY tired but would you yourself say that to a total stranger? I just want to know what it is about us that make people think they can make these comments. Is it that open and friendly facade we project?

Like I said I was just trying to have some fun guys. Q-Tee and Dogs_ears you must have heard some wierd pax comments you could think to share.
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Old 12th May 2004, 15:04
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I am astounded at these comments!! No saint me, I have upset and irritated countless thousands in my life but I tend to keep that for people I know!!

Whilst I agree that you may have no choice but to grin and bear it, your retorts to the people seem entirely appropriate. I can imagine, though, that if it turned into a verbal dust-up with the pax and your line manager - the company would not be enthusiastic about such remarks!!

When I meet the CC, I am only going to say nice things to them, as I am hoping for a double serving of pudding. (There's always one or two folks who don't eat theirs!)

Our western society continues to drift into incivility. So, to cheer us up, as ditzyboy suggests, let's hear other fabbo comments from us caring peeps in the seats!
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Old 12th May 2004, 15:20
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Maybe ditzyboy would prefer it if we just sailed past without so much of an acknowledgment of his existance?

I always smile and say hello to CC on boarding and a thank you and good bye disembarking. Now I wonder what sneers I'm getting behind my back....
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Old 12th May 2004, 22:43
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eal401 - That's a little unfair don't you think?

I have worked in the Customer Service sector for my entire working life and I have to say that as much as I love my job, I have never realised until now just how offensive and rude the general public can be!

Yes we expect it and yes we do take it in our stride. We certainly don't sit in our galley crying about it or making snide comments behind passenger's backs.

95% of pax are a delight to serve and spend time chatting to, but despite "paying our wages" the other 5% don't reserve the right to be down right rude at times!

Let's not forget that this is a Cabin Crew forum and we are allowed to let off steam sometimes!
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Old 13th May 2004, 01:13
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ditz,

Like you, I have received similar comments around the place and I have now become tough skinned when non appropriate comments are directed my way or towards fellow crew...However.....I believe that there is a cut off point which one passenger decided to cross last week with me. For the first time I did "snap" at one passenger who chose to make innappropriate "male flight attendant jokes " ( like how original dude ! pffft ) and then whistle at me like a dog for my attention.

Before I got a chance to advise him in a soft tone that I was not his dog/wife an off duty flight attendant (in plain clothes) from another aussie airline ripped in to him like a fat kid who hasn't eaten in months - GOD BLESS HER !
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Old 13th May 2004, 02:05
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Arrow

Yes.. ppl can be so rude! I work in a cocktail bar (hopefully not for long tho ) and a young man tuned around and whistled at me to come and take his order. Because i know whats going on in my section, I was already behind him before he whistled and was taking his girlfriends order (ladies first guys!!!). My manager told me to tell him we dont allow dogs or any other small pets in ******** Bar if he did it again.

I love it when guests talk to me... ask how to pronounce my name... ask me where im from.... how my night has been... but what my sexual 'preference' is?...or why i smell like an alcoholic... "well actually.... the dumb b**ch on table8 walked smack bang into me when i was putting the drinks on table9... and in an effort not to ruin $4,500 woth of wedding dress on the bride sitting there, her pina collada and her new husbands ocean breeze ended up on me... and because we're so short staffed and so busy i have only had time to change unifroms...but not have a shower"



hey ditzy... do your bad comments or remarks outweigh the compliments? mine dont .... thats why i still like woking there.

im sure you get a few winks, smiles, and friendly pax
i want to hear more stories!

(and how do ppl look jewish?)

SMILE!!!!!
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Old 13th May 2004, 06:02
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I had one pax say to me "Jeez you look like a girl I f***ed in high school".

Needless to say I couldn't think of a witty come back for that one, I just stood there stunned and speechless.

SG
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Old 13th May 2004, 06:06
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Had to throw my 2 cents worth in folks....

Q-Tee is correct in saying that these pax pay our wages. I agree 100%. But just because say for eg I walk into McDonalds and my burger money is paying the kids behind the counter's wages, that I can walk in and say "Hi Pimple face, get me 3 bigmacs, HOT ones thanks not ones that look like your crater face, a Large fries thanks - large meaning larger than the amount of money you are recieving in your pay packet each week, and 2 cokes... and make it snappy!" Sure burger-boy is going to cop a small amount of obnoxious/crude/unpleasant customers, but they have no right to pry into his life or make personal comments.

I have to agree with Ditzy - questions regarding sexuality, relationships, racial background etc are completely innapropriate - you dont say "Good morning Mrs Jones, you are sitting 12 rows down on the left in a window seat... Judging by the boytoy you are travelling with Mr Jones is away for work again huh... and ps you can get that cum stain out of your dress with a little club soda - will take it right out"

Its about a level of decorum from the pax point of view, and a level of acceptance and understanding from Cabin Crew point of view - we know we are going to be subjected to copious amounts of crap, but as QF Skywalker pointed out we are well within our rights to respond in a manner that draws their attention to how innapropriate they are acting.

Oh and as far as burger boy goes.... i was a burger boy for 3 years so I speak from experience!!!!!
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Old 13th May 2004, 06:32
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SydGirl -
That is hilarious?! I would have cried from laughing so hard!

sinala1 -
Thanks for understanding my point. This was all just supposed to be fun.

eal401 -
If you had read my post carefully I did say these comments were made as I greeted said pax. All I expect from my pax is the civility and courtesy I extend to them. I will give back (to the point where I can get away with it) anything you throw at me however. And the only time we would mock a pax is when they are inappropriate and it is a way of dealing with it. As we cannot always give back what they give us. If someone was to yell at me "f**k off!" I would. Being around that person any longer could cause a major distruption.

Perhaps by turning awkward situations into humour that is how we deal with the few people whom act inappropriately toward us.

If I am rude to someone I would expect to be treated as such in return. However I challenge eal401 or any other person here to identify I time where I have not been gracious and accommodating.

Please note I am not talking about rude pax. I was simply talking about people who ask strange questions or make offensive comments - thinking it is OK. In each example I gave I never said these people were rude. In fact I shared a couple of jokes with the women who said I looked tired.

Of course the pax pay our wages. And without the few odd ones our jobs would be very boring. I think some of you have taken this post the wrong way. I just wanted to hear some inappropriate comments that have been made to others. This was all just about fun and seeing what other comments our lovely pax come up with. Like I said I think it is hilarious people think they can speak to us in whatever manner they wish or ask us any question they please.

I guess it is because we try to come across as so open and friendly. After 3.5 years I just cannot get over how 'open and friendly' so people think we are!

I can understand by the way I wrote my post it may come across as bitter. Nothing could be further from the truth. I thrive on interaction with others. Was just wanting to have a laugh.

TSSOV -
She said I had a Jewish nose?! Again - not something I would think to say to a total stranger but there you go...
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Old 13th May 2004, 07:33
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LOL Some of the questions people ask you guys is hilarious.!

I work in nightclubs doing promotions (hopefully for not much longer), so I have fully copped the rath of the general public in my experience. O have learnt alot about tolerence. I have had everything from a slap on the ass to a marriage proposal. Most people are lovely, but it seems the more revealing the outfit the ruder the customer is! When someone is particularly rude to me I usually flash them a big smile and say 'have a nice evening!' it floors them everytime, they have nothing to say back.

I can totally relate to being tired and grumpy and still having to put on your smiley friendly face guys

Thanks for the laughs
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Old 13th May 2004, 07:50
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Ditzy, my apologies, I'm not trying to imply that you are rude or anything like it.

My point is that the person in question was in all probability thinking she was showing an interest in you. I don't believe she was trying to be personal or offend you. Some people are like that! Then again, women can be so bitchy sometimes, you can never tell!! (That was tongue firmly in cheek by the way!)

Of course, there is no justification for being rude or impolite to CC, e.g. telling you that you should get your teeth done for goodness sake! Were they American by any chance? As SLF I never am rude and I don't make comments either. As I once told my wife, who I was gently scolding for beliving you guys are just there to serve drinks, I am polite to you because a) it costs nothing to be nice and b) I never know when one of you will be shoving my backside down an escape slide. (Never hopefully!)
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Old 13th May 2004, 09:20
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Survival rule number 1 - NEVER, EVER be rude to anybody who has access to your next meal....!
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Old 14th May 2004, 00:58
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it's a disgrace how we get spoked too. as john merrick said

i am not an animal, i am a human bean
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Old 14th May 2004, 09:36
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MMMMMM..........

Hey guys - glad it is not just me that receives treatment like this.....

Was on a flight the other day when some FERAL and his almost as feral mother (first time flyers, I'm sure) clicked his fingers at me whilst I was walking through the cabin before takeoff and yelled "Stewardess, hey Stewardess!"

At first, I thought he was talking to one of the girls (bad enough) but when I realised he was talking to me, I was a little like Syd Girl - shocked and lost for words.......

I think he has watched "View from the Top" a few too many times.....

Had to evacuate an aircraft the other day - fairly major issue - with one woman asking, "...and just how long is this going to take?"

AND HOW MANY TIMES do ppl press their call bell (somewhere towards the rear of the cabin just after you have begun service) and you are CLEARLY working as fast as you can (touch the trolley, make some rattling noises with the ice bucket, walk to the galley, touch the curtain, make some signs to the front galley that mean nothing......sorry, couldn't resist!) and they say "I'll have a rum and coke, two Sprites, three chicken wraps...." and are pi**ed off when you explain that you are working row by row........

The list goes on......

Bvb xo
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Old 14th May 2004, 11:04
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Hey Ditz I agree with you, and without a doubt the best way to deal with it is humour, otherwise one day you might go SNAP!!

I can remember when a prior employer (may it R.I.P.) had this tragic idea of serving fruit as a snack on busy MEL - SYD - BNE legs between lunch and dinner. I'm sure you will all agree there is a limit to how attractive you can make a banana on a tray look, but when one woman took a look at her offering and in disgust told me to take the offending item and stick it up my @rse, I laughed so hard I had to walk away. And you know what, my reaction cut her more deeply than any whitty retort.

Most of the pax I cared for were fabulous and it was my experiences with them that made the job so great. But I had my fare share of tossers and looking back I think i enjoyed deailng with them even more.

I don't think any of you should accept inappropriate comments or being made to feel servilently compliant just because a purchased ticket is paying your wage. To do so is to pave the way for continued disrespect towards others in the service industry. Whatever happens just keep your sense of humour and don't let them ruin your day. And dont forget your CS/FSD (or whatever they are called now) are paid the extra dollars to deal with these clowns if you dont feel you can.
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Old 14th May 2004, 13:04
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Just the other day SYD-AKL, amid a conversation:

"Do you have any grandchildren?" Um, no im 28

"Oh well you'll just need to keep practicing"

But I must also say some SLF are often flattering. Got told I had nice shiny teeth the other day
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Old 15th May 2004, 02:36
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Sorry to go off track here folks but Brisvegasboy I heard nothing about an evacuation!!!????!!! What happened?
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