Are you lonely??
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Are you lonely??
Just a question guys!
Just wanna find out if i'm the only one out there that aint feeling a tad lonely. Do a job i really enjoy, go to some great places, see the world, earn a good wage.
But why cant i keep in a relationship and why do i spend more time texting my friends than actually seeing them and when making new friends why do they only stay that way for the length of the trip?
Just think i've reached my first low point in aviation after flying for a year and well, is it just me or does it come with the territory?
kempus
Just wanna find out if i'm the only one out there that aint feeling a tad lonely. Do a job i really enjoy, go to some great places, see the world, earn a good wage.
But why cant i keep in a relationship and why do i spend more time texting my friends than actually seeing them and when making new friends why do they only stay that way for the length of the trip?
Just think i've reached my first low point in aviation after flying for a year and well, is it just me or does it come with the territory?
kempus
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Im agreeing with you 100% kempus only been flying myself a few months and i think its hard to change the person you are, if your not the over zealous drinking party animal it is difficult to occupy yrself when yr away and if you have personal problems its the worst job in the world but if things are hunky then its the best, i think you should give it a bash and if it doesn't suit you then move on as i reckon you either love the job or hate it.
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Kempus the answer is not simple.
But it's definitely NOT only you.
I don't think I know anyone in our job who hasn't gone through what you describe.
Some consolation there perhaps eh?
Smart of you to ask the question by the way; many people get stuck in feeling miserable and lonely in our job and always thinking they're the only ones suffering from what looks on the outside like the perfect lifestyle.
Ackowledging that it ain't so easy is the first step on the way to making it better.
Good onya!
But it's definitely NOT only you.
I don't think I know anyone in our job who hasn't gone through what you describe.
Some consolation there perhaps eh?
Smart of you to ask the question by the way; many people get stuck in feeling miserable and lonely in our job and always thinking they're the only ones suffering from what looks on the outside like the perfect lifestyle.
Ackowledging that it ain't so easy is the first step on the way to making it better.
Good onya!
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I know what you mean kinda......
It's lonely when there isn't anyone on the crew that wants to hang out, or even anyone that you click with. It's definitely a lifestyle. I find when I'm home that I just want to chill out at home and so I find it a real effort to keep in touch with friends.
It's lonely when there isn't anyone on the crew that wants to hang out, or even anyone that you click with. It's definitely a lifestyle. I find when I'm home that I just want to chill out at home and so I find it a real effort to keep in touch with friends.
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Ive been doing cabin crew for a few weeks, and although i love the job, Yeah for sure its lonely, im in the process of looking for somewhere to live near LGW, as i live an hour away at the min, and as 99% of my friends are in the 9-5 routine of life, its boring and lonely.
So i can tottally agree with what your saying, But there are lows and there are highs, and things ALWAYS get better!
So i can tottally agree with what your saying, But there are lows and there are highs, and things ALWAYS get better!
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hey
Hi folks!
Thanks for your replies! I'm glad, well maybe not glad, i'm not the only one who feels this way.
I made the move down from Scotland 6 months ago with a girl in the same job. We never saw each other, one thing lead to another and we're no longer together. Its only since then that i realised how lonely this job is and without having any kind of constant, may it be a partner, family or friends i feel desperately like a nomad!
You know what they say about moving to the smoke, just another number!
Anywho, its hard for people to understand who dont know what its like so thats why i turned to you guys! Lets hope flying at 40,000ft isn't the only high i get in a job that i do enjoy. Dont want this to be a feel sorry for me thread but nice to have something to talk about!
Thanks for your replies! I'm glad, well maybe not glad, i'm not the only one who feels this way.
I made the move down from Scotland 6 months ago with a girl in the same job. We never saw each other, one thing lead to another and we're no longer together. Its only since then that i realised how lonely this job is and without having any kind of constant, may it be a partner, family or friends i feel desperately like a nomad!
You know what they say about moving to the smoke, just another number!
Anywho, its hard for people to understand who dont know what its like so thats why i turned to you guys! Lets hope flying at 40,000ft isn't the only high i get in a job that i do enjoy. Dont want this to be a feel sorry for me thread but nice to have something to talk about!
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Sorry bout yr relationship when you just start to see somebody its a real drag to be away and you just want to be with them I definately know what you mean there and night stops is all you want, im just gonna see how it goes for a bit pass my probabation and get out of LH asap
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The whole industry is set like a "days of our lives" relationships constantly changing so many different factors involved.
I guess that when you do shiftwork or travel...a common negative is being lonely. Also when you come back from your layover in Paris....your closest friends think you have been on holiday. You just want to sleep and they expect you to be alive and out!
I guess that when you do shiftwork or travel...a common negative is being lonely. Also when you come back from your layover in Paris....your closest friends think you have been on holiday. You just want to sleep and they expect you to be alive and out!
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A mate of mine went through similiar issues - he's not a huge party animal so he uses the time while away to study. Bought himself a little laptop and has finished his second degree. Ii think also studied another language as well while away, so now he gets more cash for being a language speaker....
This avenue kinda helps with the boredom, but doesn't really fix the loneliness.... although you can use the internet while away!
This avenue kinda helps with the boredom, but doesn't really fix the loneliness.... although you can use the internet while away!
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I used to fly, but missed my friends as our work patterns overlapped. When I gave it up I then found all my friends moving abroad or coupling off, leaving me on my lonesome!!
Looking back, there used to be small groups of crew going out locally, and if free you'd join them. Some couldn't understand why they felt lonely after going out so much. I took a step back and realised that most of the people I socialised with weren't great friends but just great aquaintances. You get pulled into the lifestyle and feel a part of a big family, but when it boils down to it they are not always there for support and socialising, just like your 9-5 friends arent about at 2 in the morning to talk to after a $hite day.
I missed flying when I left, and longed to be back in the cabin, its taken me 3 years to get back in, but I've made it back! My current life is boring now anyway!!
Ever heard of AIDS (airline induced divorce syndrome)? I think starting a relationship when you are already flying means at least both people know what to expect. The hardest test on a relationship is when already established then one partner goes flying. If youre strong together, you'll survive!
Six
Looking back, there used to be small groups of crew going out locally, and if free you'd join them. Some couldn't understand why they felt lonely after going out so much. I took a step back and realised that most of the people I socialised with weren't great friends but just great aquaintances. You get pulled into the lifestyle and feel a part of a big family, but when it boils down to it they are not always there for support and socialising, just like your 9-5 friends arent about at 2 in the morning to talk to after a $hite day.
I missed flying when I left, and longed to be back in the cabin, its taken me 3 years to get back in, but I've made it back! My current life is boring now anyway!!
Ever heard of AIDS (airline induced divorce syndrome)? I think starting a relationship when you are already flying means at least both people know what to expect. The hardest test on a relationship is when already established then one partner goes flying. If youre strong together, you'll survive!
Six
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Been in the industry 20 years and I actually resigned from a VIP job that paid great money, because I was bored!! I was the only CC member and the flight deck were older and would go out for the odd meal occasionally or play golf. Back in Saudi on the compound, although a lot to do, I was just fed up!! So I resigned...even though I have done a similar job since...maybe because I am now a bit older...I was fine. Kempus we all go through it...I am happily married now with a wee one and still enjoying the industry!!
(But hey, imagine how Berti Vogts feels right now eh?)
(But hey, imagine how Berti Vogts feels right now eh?)
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The trouble is - its a very selfish job!
We desert everybody when we go off on a trip, and then expect everyone to 'play' when we come home.
My life improved 100% when i left longhaul to goto shorthaul....
Though i do many more hours , i stay 'in touch' with my life, partner,family,friends etc.......
I'm also now getting really fed-up
of longhaul pals who suddenly 'arrive' home, and expect to be entertained or arrange things for you while they have their 'small window' of opportunity to do so before they ****** off again.
But i've got my pal 'CallerID' to sort that one out!
It's what you make of it, but if friends/partners aren't very understanding or annoyed by your 'flitting' in & out , you may be in for a bumpy ride,even with both feet on the ground!
We desert everybody when we go off on a trip, and then expect everyone to 'play' when we come home.
My life improved 100% when i left longhaul to goto shorthaul....
Though i do many more hours , i stay 'in touch' with my life, partner,family,friends etc.......
I'm also now getting really fed-up
of longhaul pals who suddenly 'arrive' home, and expect to be entertained or arrange things for you while they have their 'small window' of opportunity to do so before they ****** off again.But i've got my pal 'CallerID' to sort that one out!
It's what you make of it, but if friends/partners aren't very understanding or annoyed by your 'flitting' in & out , you may be in for a bumpy ride,even with both feet on the ground!
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it gets worse, like a spiral of descent. i've been put down so much i cant take it no more! how can someone you care for so much make you wanna crawl into a corner and die!
I'm sorry but i is now starting to get depressed! this aint good and i really dont want my work to find out!
I'm sorry but i is now starting to get depressed! this aint good and i really dont want my work to find out!
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thanks
Hey folks!
Just wanna say thanks for all the advice an that! just taking this break up maybe a bit too personal, well not really any other way you can take it is there!
Dont think i'll ever understand women, you bend over backwards to do anything for them cos she's "your babe" but then when you think everything is great, guess what it aint!
dam!
Just wanna say thanks for all the advice an that! just taking this break up maybe a bit too personal, well not really any other way you can take it is there!
Dont think i'll ever understand women, you bend over backwards to do anything for them cos she's "your babe" but then when you think everything is great, guess what it aint!
dam!
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keeping sane and anti lonely
When I first started in the travel industry I had no idea on how to keep sane and or not be lonely (keeping sane was more of my case). Fortunately I met a couple of friends who were able to give me some advice on how to maintain your well being whilst in the industry.
Create sanity packs: These packs are up to date magazines and publications of things you like to read. It could be aviation news, horses. It's gotta one of those things with pictures or things you just can't put down and HAVE to read over. Or if you are just like me...get the hot news from Hello or Who Weekly etc!!! These are great to pass time when you have to wait and I find they give me great ideas on what to do if you get more spare time on a layover. See that movie that just had a great review! You dont bother anyone reading and it connects you with the outside world with things you might like.
Exercise: When you look good you feel great. Get to the gym at least 3 times a week damnit! Go on and use that hotel gym!
(get that hair cut/style u always wanted or just try something new! Publications that often show information on how to avoid being depressed say to get a haircut try something new"
Diet: Every shiftworker knows how to have a very good or a very bad diet. Scraping by on black coffee and guarana drinks is just not my style. Take that apple and pear with you! Dried fruits are great if you get the nibbles. Make sure you drink plenty of water and dont drink too much booze. Everyone knows that alcohol is a depressant...it'll become your only friend! Like totally SHAME!!!!
Get to know where fellow shiftwork folks are and what times they are working. It makes a big difference when you actually make the effort each month to say hello and find out when they're working and where they are. There most likely going to be bored and lonely as well. Thanks to the information we have SMS and MMS. You dont need to wake anyone for them to get the message! We now even have 3G services. If you really really miss your buddies you might like to try video conversations. So you're never completely alone!
Laptop: Laptop + Internet means you can go onto sites like this when you got some time to kill...obviously at this second i must be extremely bored! HAHAHAHA But seriously a laptop and internet are now a ESSENTIAL to my wellbeing. It also means you can send emails and it's nice getting emails :-)
Don't forget Teddy: From the latest in technology tools to the simplest and more primitive forms....Kids like to carry their little teddy or toy with them wherever they go. Some of us may still know of people who still carry their own pillow or baby blanket with them wherevery they go. If this makes u sleep better and feel less lonely...Why not use it if you can? (dont try stuffing big blankets in a cabin bag it aint gonna work)
What is it that makes you lonely? Is it the emptiness of something incomplete that you feel from within? Like a lead weight resting on your guts dragging your heart down? Is it the need to just be around others and have company? There isn't one type of loneliness and knowing exactly what your type is might make it easier for you resolve and even prevent before it happens.
Many have said "everyone is lonely" I guess this is probably true with the statistics showing increased drug abuse/suicide and cases of depression. But then there are just people who have really nothing to worry about.
"the i'm bored i've got nothing to do and everyone is out having fun" this this is just to me is soooooo lack of organisation. You should have planned something.
Create sanity packs: These packs are up to date magazines and publications of things you like to read. It could be aviation news, horses. It's gotta one of those things with pictures or things you just can't put down and HAVE to read over. Or if you are just like me...get the hot news from Hello or Who Weekly etc!!! These are great to pass time when you have to wait and I find they give me great ideas on what to do if you get more spare time on a layover. See that movie that just had a great review! You dont bother anyone reading and it connects you with the outside world with things you might like.
Exercise: When you look good you feel great. Get to the gym at least 3 times a week damnit! Go on and use that hotel gym!
(get that hair cut/style u always wanted or just try something new! Publications that often show information on how to avoid being depressed say to get a haircut try something new"
Diet: Every shiftworker knows how to have a very good or a very bad diet. Scraping by on black coffee and guarana drinks is just not my style. Take that apple and pear with you! Dried fruits are great if you get the nibbles. Make sure you drink plenty of water and dont drink too much booze. Everyone knows that alcohol is a depressant...it'll become your only friend! Like totally SHAME!!!!
Get to know where fellow shiftwork folks are and what times they are working. It makes a big difference when you actually make the effort each month to say hello and find out when they're working and where they are. There most likely going to be bored and lonely as well. Thanks to the information we have SMS and MMS. You dont need to wake anyone for them to get the message! We now even have 3G services. If you really really miss your buddies you might like to try video conversations. So you're never completely alone!
Laptop: Laptop + Internet means you can go onto sites like this when you got some time to kill...obviously at this second i must be extremely bored! HAHAHAHA But seriously a laptop and internet are now a ESSENTIAL to my wellbeing. It also means you can send emails and it's nice getting emails :-)
Don't forget Teddy: From the latest in technology tools to the simplest and more primitive forms....Kids like to carry their little teddy or toy with them wherever they go. Some of us may still know of people who still carry their own pillow or baby blanket with them wherevery they go. If this makes u sleep better and feel less lonely...Why not use it if you can? (dont try stuffing big blankets in a cabin bag it aint gonna work)
What is it that makes you lonely? Is it the emptiness of something incomplete that you feel from within? Like a lead weight resting on your guts dragging your heart down? Is it the need to just be around others and have company? There isn't one type of loneliness and knowing exactly what your type is might make it easier for you resolve and even prevent before it happens.
Many have said "everyone is lonely" I guess this is probably true with the statistics showing increased drug abuse/suicide and cases of depression. But then there are just people who have really nothing to worry about.
"the i'm bored i've got nothing to do and everyone is out having fun" this this is just to me is soooooo lack of organisation. You should have planned something.
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Hey Kempus
Sorry to hear whats happened. My friend says theres several stages a man goes through when he breaks up with someone. The first is to feel confused and bewildered, the last is to go to a strip club with your mates. I'd skip the middle stages and go straight to the end...!!
When things go unexpectedly wrong with women, ask her exactly what you arent doing. If shes worth it, she'll tell you so you can put it right. Don't sweep it under the carpet, it will rear its ugly head again later.
Us women are a funny breed, but so are you men!! The book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, does have some truth in it! That will keep you busy for a bit!
When women say nothing is wrong, but pout at the same time, we want you to make the effort to show you care and listen to whats bothering us. If men say theres nothing wrong, you mean there is actually nothing wrong!
If we get in after work and we are annoyed, we want to talk about it for about an hour, want tyou to comment and agree. Whereas you guys want to think it over, deal with it yourselves and only consult us if you really need to. Of course we want to worry about you the same way we want to be worried about during a crisis, hence why we keep asking you whats wrong!!
When a woman asks how your day was and you say it was just ok, you mean it was just ok, nothing eventful. A woman can perceive this as you keeping something from her and not involving her in your life. Simply extend your answer to something like 'average day really, pretty boring, but no hiccups for a change'.
If you have had a $hite day, tell her you'll talk to her when you have worked it out in your head yourself. If shes worth it she'll understand.
When we say we dont mind you calling off a date to go out with a mate, we dont really mean it, but want to please you. Compromise to keep us and yourself happy.
On the phone, men say what they want in less than a minute then hang up. A woman on the other end of the phone may find this abrupt, and take it personally. We like to talk about nothing! Even if I am calling a freind to arrange what time to pick her up later, we still talk for half an hour!!
But then if all the above was true, and I know what I'm talking about, why the hell am I still single??!! Hmmmm....
SWF, Blonde, 28, WLTM male with own hair and teeth, GSOH........previous boyfriends need not apply.
Sorry to hear whats happened. My friend says theres several stages a man goes through when he breaks up with someone. The first is to feel confused and bewildered, the last is to go to a strip club with your mates. I'd skip the middle stages and go straight to the end...!!
When things go unexpectedly wrong with women, ask her exactly what you arent doing. If shes worth it, she'll tell you so you can put it right. Don't sweep it under the carpet, it will rear its ugly head again later.
Us women are a funny breed, but so are you men!! The book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, does have some truth in it! That will keep you busy for a bit!
When women say nothing is wrong, but pout at the same time, we want you to make the effort to show you care and listen to whats bothering us. If men say theres nothing wrong, you mean there is actually nothing wrong!
If we get in after work and we are annoyed, we want to talk about it for about an hour, want tyou to comment and agree. Whereas you guys want to think it over, deal with it yourselves and only consult us if you really need to. Of course we want to worry about you the same way we want to be worried about during a crisis, hence why we keep asking you whats wrong!!
When a woman asks how your day was and you say it was just ok, you mean it was just ok, nothing eventful. A woman can perceive this as you keeping something from her and not involving her in your life. Simply extend your answer to something like 'average day really, pretty boring, but no hiccups for a change'.
If you have had a $hite day, tell her you'll talk to her when you have worked it out in your head yourself. If shes worth it she'll understand.
When we say we dont mind you calling off a date to go out with a mate, we dont really mean it, but want to please you. Compromise to keep us and yourself happy.
On the phone, men say what they want in less than a minute then hang up. A woman on the other end of the phone may find this abrupt, and take it personally. We like to talk about nothing! Even if I am calling a freind to arrange what time to pick her up later, we still talk for half an hour!!
But then if all the above was true, and I know what I'm talking about, why the hell am I still single??!! Hmmmm....
SWF, Blonde, 28, WLTM male with own hair and teeth, GSOH........previous boyfriends need not apply.
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Hi!
Just wanna say thanks again for the advice! I know deal with it an that are probs the best things to do but wish it was that easy!
Sixmilehigh, fantastic idea! dont know why i didn't think of it!
SWM 24, Nice smile and blue eyes
WLTM female who does all those things you read about!
kempus
Just wanna say thanks again for the advice! I know deal with it an that are probs the best things to do but wish it was that easy!
Sixmilehigh, fantastic idea! dont know why i didn't think of it!
SWM 24, Nice smile and blue eyes
WLTM female who does all those things you read about! kempus
I've only made a few posts and each one has got ruder and ruder!
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Holy Mackerel
sixmilehighclub, I sound like your ideal match, I also sound like a woman - especially hearing the way you percieved men's attitudes!
1st of all - people, sorry about this, I know this is PPRUNE, and u expect technical answers that are related to aviation, but let me be different for a moment! WOMAN! Woman, may think they are in a league of ther own - well they are! BUT, they also think they know how a man's mind work's - they do - to an extent! BUT (that's another BIG but!), not all men are like that, and also, not all woman are like you eplained!
Since I sound like a woman (after the way you talked) then bring it on! Hence....
Male, Mousey Blonde hair (my own), own teeth (white), 24, WLTM female with laid back approach to life, loves not to b*tch, doesn't give a $hit, doesn't think that men are all the same, oh and V.GSOH.
....Yet to meet one of them - guess I'll have to put up with the good 'ord dreams for now!
Hmph!
P.S. No it alls need not reply!
sixmilehighclub, I sound like your ideal match, I also sound like a woman - especially hearing the way you percieved men's attitudes!
1st of all - people, sorry about this, I know this is PPRUNE, and u expect technical answers that are related to aviation, but let me be different for a moment! WOMAN! Woman, may think they are in a league of ther own - well they are! BUT, they also think they know how a man's mind work's - they do - to an extent! BUT (that's another BIG but!), not all men are like that, and also, not all woman are like you eplained!
Since I sound like a woman (after the way you talked) then bring it on! Hence....
Male, Mousey Blonde hair (my own), own teeth (white), 24, WLTM female with laid back approach to life, loves not to b*tch, doesn't give a $hit, doesn't think that men are all the same, oh and V.GSOH.
....Yet to meet one of them - guess I'll have to put up with the good 'ord dreams for now!
Hmph!
P.S. No it alls need not reply!