Australia's Airport Videos and Voiceovers are world beating.
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Australia's Airport Videos and Voiceovers are world beating.
This line from news.com.au reminded me so much of our experience flying into Sydney on Sunday. It's about our largest warship not being able to make it to Tonga and back with supplies, while China gets the job done. Our ship is stranded at the dock. “Amid slick Department of Defence videos and glowing press releases, the failure comes as a particularly embarrassing incident.” Australia is so good at the videos and voiceovers, but we struggle to organize a chook raffle. My theory is nowadays all the slick marketing people rise to the top (like "Scotty from marketing" for example) while all the people that are crucial are weeded out in cost savings.
On the way into Sydney there were no less than 4 different “This is an important announcement from Border Force/NSW Govt…blah blah…there are strict penalties for blah blah.” The last 3 announcements were delivered (in English and French) while everyone is standing in the aisle after a 15-hour flight from Vancouver. Obviously, it is important to emphasize the quarantine and Covid policies, but how is it that basically the same message gets delivered 4 times! The last announcement had to be read by the CSM and she had to apologize with a “I know its ridiculous but here we go again.” Welcome to Aussie exhausted cobbers.
So we finally get off. The automatic passport machines don’t work for those with over-tired crying children. Perfect. A sign explaining this would be far too practical, instead confused and exhausted parents have to wander off befufddled to a long line in a small cramped area just for families with small children. It takes an hour and a half because although there are dozens of “Border Force Strong” goons stomping around in paramilitary gear hoping for a documentary crew to turn up, there are only 3 behind the counter. Some “Border Force” clown wanders around after we have waited an hour saying that those with the automatic passport machines slips should join the other line otherwise “you will be waiting for hours”. Like it is the passenger’s fault there is a line rather than the fact there are only 3 goons capable of using a computer and a dozen booths are unmanned.
Just to rub it passengers faces, every 5 minutes there is a voice actor reminding everyone to stay “Covid Safe” and remain 1.5 metres apart as hundreds are crammed into these lines thanks to Border Force people preferring to jackboot around rather than the boring job of actually processing inbound passengers. (I know there are exceptions and some are friendly and do their best, but they were by far in the minority on that day. It is very much the US style which i would argue is not the image we need to present to visitors.)
We were transferring to a Qantas domestic flight. Qantas have the very slick safety/marketing video featuring the can-do blokes from Longreach through to now. It really is quiet good marketing. Unfortunately, that is obviously where the top talent is in Qantas (besides aircrew of course!)
We are directed to “Qantas Domestic Terminal Transfer”. Big signs. Big transfer facility. Nice Qantas buses parked there. It all looks the part. Empty with about 100 people lined up outside looking around for a bus. It is hot. People are exhausted. After a little while a lady in a Qantas uniform walks past the “Domestic Transfer” office and asks “What are you people all doing here? “ Well obviously trying to get a suntan in the midday heat before catching the train. Full credit to her she tries to take responsibility. Says she will try and get us a bus. 15 minutes later, nothing other than hand waving and befuddled looks. We are running out of connection time so take the train. Many travellers don’t know there is a train and stay in the line for God knows how long. I hear later that after an hour, there was still no bus. Again…a sign saying “No Transfers, take the train” would be way to practical.
Take the train to domestic. Arrive at the Qantas baggage drop machines. Half aren’t working. The other half won’t seem to scan our boarding passes. Everyone is having the same problem and yet again looking confused. Someone from Qantas happens to be strolling by and says “Oh yes they wont work if you are from International flights, check in as the end of the terminal.” Well again thanks Qantas for the sign saying the bag drops don’t work and proceed to the check in line in the distance. Does this shambles go on all day every day?
Arrive at domestic check-in. Now most people are panicking and running late for their connections thanks to the prior two debacles. Over-tired, hot people. The lines are long, But that doesn’t stop the Qantas check-in guy directly in front pulling up the passenger ahead for being 2kg overweight in his cabin baggage. So that takes him off lines for 20 minutes while they squabble and the lines grow longer, people miss their flights, the officious check-in guy waits for an “Airport” documentary crew to observe his stern authority in action. Meanwhile some supervisor is wandering the lines saying ‘Come on people lets get moving” like it is the passenger’s fault they are waiting. A panicking Chinese lady frantic about missing her connection is waived to the back of a line with a “don’t make us call security” look meaning she will obviously miss that flight. Nobody there to prioritize like any other even half decent airline.
The actual Qantas flight and lounge were good. But Qantas ground. How about if your equipment is all broken and you have no staff, spend 2 minutes to scribble out a sign explaining what to do. It is hard to describe just how bad a customer experience you provide on the ground which is embarrassing for a first taste of Australia for so many people. As they might have said back in the day in Longreach, “Couldn’t organize a sex-worker in an adult establishment” Border Force, just take your heads out of your collective asses, tone down the paramilitary look and threats of jail time, spend less time on announcements about Covid separation and more time getting people through the terminal in under 1.5 hours (that’s how long we spent in the line after 19 hours in the air from Toronto.) Pretty much every other airport can do it with ten times more grace and efficiency than you goons. Marketing is the only thing we are half decent at the moment, whether it is Defence, Border Force or it appears Qantas.
Sure Covid makes things difficult but Border Force certainly were not understaffed. Qantas could have just had a couple of signs or people guiding customer to fix pretty much everyone’s misery. And airports in Vancouver and Toronto have the same difficulties but it is a smooth and friendly operation.
Will this rant help anything? Not in the slightest. But its off my chest. If marketing videos and voiceovers won wars, we would be untouchable..
On the way into Sydney there were no less than 4 different “This is an important announcement from Border Force/NSW Govt…blah blah…there are strict penalties for blah blah.” The last 3 announcements were delivered (in English and French) while everyone is standing in the aisle after a 15-hour flight from Vancouver. Obviously, it is important to emphasize the quarantine and Covid policies, but how is it that basically the same message gets delivered 4 times! The last announcement had to be read by the CSM and she had to apologize with a “I know its ridiculous but here we go again.” Welcome to Aussie exhausted cobbers.
So we finally get off. The automatic passport machines don’t work for those with over-tired crying children. Perfect. A sign explaining this would be far too practical, instead confused and exhausted parents have to wander off befufddled to a long line in a small cramped area just for families with small children. It takes an hour and a half because although there are dozens of “Border Force Strong” goons stomping around in paramilitary gear hoping for a documentary crew to turn up, there are only 3 behind the counter. Some “Border Force” clown wanders around after we have waited an hour saying that those with the automatic passport machines slips should join the other line otherwise “you will be waiting for hours”. Like it is the passenger’s fault there is a line rather than the fact there are only 3 goons capable of using a computer and a dozen booths are unmanned.
Just to rub it passengers faces, every 5 minutes there is a voice actor reminding everyone to stay “Covid Safe” and remain 1.5 metres apart as hundreds are crammed into these lines thanks to Border Force people preferring to jackboot around rather than the boring job of actually processing inbound passengers. (I know there are exceptions and some are friendly and do their best, but they were by far in the minority on that day. It is very much the US style which i would argue is not the image we need to present to visitors.)
We were transferring to a Qantas domestic flight. Qantas have the very slick safety/marketing video featuring the can-do blokes from Longreach through to now. It really is quiet good marketing. Unfortunately, that is obviously where the top talent is in Qantas (besides aircrew of course!)
We are directed to “Qantas Domestic Terminal Transfer”. Big signs. Big transfer facility. Nice Qantas buses parked there. It all looks the part. Empty with about 100 people lined up outside looking around for a bus. It is hot. People are exhausted. After a little while a lady in a Qantas uniform walks past the “Domestic Transfer” office and asks “What are you people all doing here? “ Well obviously trying to get a suntan in the midday heat before catching the train. Full credit to her she tries to take responsibility. Says she will try and get us a bus. 15 minutes later, nothing other than hand waving and befuddled looks. We are running out of connection time so take the train. Many travellers don’t know there is a train and stay in the line for God knows how long. I hear later that after an hour, there was still no bus. Again…a sign saying “No Transfers, take the train” would be way to practical.
Take the train to domestic. Arrive at the Qantas baggage drop machines. Half aren’t working. The other half won’t seem to scan our boarding passes. Everyone is having the same problem and yet again looking confused. Someone from Qantas happens to be strolling by and says “Oh yes they wont work if you are from International flights, check in as the end of the terminal.” Well again thanks Qantas for the sign saying the bag drops don’t work and proceed to the check in line in the distance. Does this shambles go on all day every day?
Arrive at domestic check-in. Now most people are panicking and running late for their connections thanks to the prior two debacles. Over-tired, hot people. The lines are long, But that doesn’t stop the Qantas check-in guy directly in front pulling up the passenger ahead for being 2kg overweight in his cabin baggage. So that takes him off lines for 20 minutes while they squabble and the lines grow longer, people miss their flights, the officious check-in guy waits for an “Airport” documentary crew to observe his stern authority in action. Meanwhile some supervisor is wandering the lines saying ‘Come on people lets get moving” like it is the passenger’s fault they are waiting. A panicking Chinese lady frantic about missing her connection is waived to the back of a line with a “don’t make us call security” look meaning she will obviously miss that flight. Nobody there to prioritize like any other even half decent airline.
The actual Qantas flight and lounge were good. But Qantas ground. How about if your equipment is all broken and you have no staff, spend 2 minutes to scribble out a sign explaining what to do. It is hard to describe just how bad a customer experience you provide on the ground which is embarrassing for a first taste of Australia for so many people. As they might have said back in the day in Longreach, “Couldn’t organize a sex-worker in an adult establishment” Border Force, just take your heads out of your collective asses, tone down the paramilitary look and threats of jail time, spend less time on announcements about Covid separation and more time getting people through the terminal in under 1.5 hours (that’s how long we spent in the line after 19 hours in the air from Toronto.) Pretty much every other airport can do it with ten times more grace and efficiency than you goons. Marketing is the only thing we are half decent at the moment, whether it is Defence, Border Force or it appears Qantas.
Sure Covid makes things difficult but Border Force certainly were not understaffed. Qantas could have just had a couple of signs or people guiding customer to fix pretty much everyone’s misery. And airports in Vancouver and Toronto have the same difficulties but it is a smooth and friendly operation.
Will this rant help anything? Not in the slightest. But its off my chest. If marketing videos and voiceovers won wars, we would be untouchable..
Last edited by extralite; 1st Feb 2022 at 21:45.
That’s fantastic (your rant, not the situations in it). You are dead right though. I used to travel quite a bit with family in tow between Asia and Australia. I always got so frustrated with how hard Australia made everything when just about every Asian country could do it better. You could be standing in a line and someone would be going through finding families and taking them to the front to get them through.
Meanwhile in Australia, even once you eventually got through immigration, you then had to pay frigging money for a baggage trolley! Kind of hard to do without one when you had kids in tow. Never did I ever see any airport in Asia that made you pay for a bloody baggage trolley
.
I could go on as well, but I think you’ve done it quite well.
Meanwhile in Australia, even once you eventually got through immigration, you then had to pay frigging money for a baggage trolley! Kind of hard to do without one when you had kids in tow. Never did I ever see any airport in Asia that made you pay for a bloody baggage trolley
.I could go on as well, but I think you’ve done it quite well.
This excellent rant should be sent to every government department and media outlet in the country. We used to pride ourselves, rightly or wrongly, on being an easygoing bunch with a bit of a larrikin streak and a can-do attitude. Lately, though, we seem to have become a bunch of uptight, heavily-regulated scolds who aren’t that great at just getting things done properly. (Christ, we’ve even had an online debate about whether Channel 9 should’ve shown Ash Barty having a beer. Nothing to do with airports, but yet more evidence of our sad decline.)
Been like this for years, nothing new here
Did SIN to PER once many years ago, with two little kids in tow. 01:30 arrival, with two other aircraft within minutes of each other.
Took longer to clear Perth immigration and get a taxi home than the flight took.
Joint lousy with border farce goons stomping about, chatting with each other, whilst the line snaked slowly towards the three open counters.
I actually asked (nicely) one of the buffoons to fetch chairs for an elderly couple who were struggling with standing for so long, only to get the response "Not my job mate"...
Beggars belief.
Did SIN to PER once many years ago, with two little kids in tow. 01:30 arrival, with two other aircraft within minutes of each other.
Took longer to clear Perth immigration and get a taxi home than the flight took.
Joint lousy with border farce goons stomping about, chatting with each other, whilst the line snaked slowly towards the three open counters.
I actually asked (nicely) one of the buffoons to fetch chairs for an elderly couple who were struggling with standing for so long, only to get the response "Not my job mate"...
Beggars belief.
qantas the spirit of outsourcing. last time i went through sydney airport there were more cleaners than qantas staff. the two cleaners were continually mobbed by angry passengers trying to work the self service check in machines, and there is zero qantas staff even at the counters.
qantas the spirit of outsourcing
Why not just bring the jobs/call centre back in-house? Because someone will lose their bonus.
Welcome to Ozstralia.
Just like the BoM can’t produce a TAF for Cat D aerodromes due to Covid19!
just like our local council working reduced hours due to Covid19!
Just like management teams working from home due to Covid19!
Just like the BoM can’t produce a TAF for Cat D aerodromes due to Covid19!
just like our local council working reduced hours due to Covid19!
Just like management teams working from home due to Covid19!
Will this rant help anything? Not in the slightest. But its off my chest. If marketing videos and voiceovers won wars, we would be untouchable..
(It is very much the US style which I would argue is not the image we need to present to visitors.)
Yet again, it's the Australian way to make something 'critically important' and all about the show of power rather than just do the job. Australia is all about convincing the world they are the best at everything and that starts with brainwashing the employees that they are worlds best.
This, with my council, was accompanied by a calendar colourfully printed and dropped in every letterbox with a magnet for the fridge which was immediately out of date after the first week when they realised that some council drone had set it all up with no knowledge of how much rubbish of each type is accumulated by average folks and my neighbours who still have kids at home had to pay $200 for a second general waste bin to achieve what they could 2 weeks before due to the spaced out collection weeks.
It's got to the point where most people don't have a frigging clue what bin is supposed to go out so put them all out guessing that the ones that are due will be emptied and the others won't. Rinse and repeat next week.
Then there's the fact that we now have to practically employ a casual at each household to ensure the refuse is properly sorted into the correct bins, FOGO, glass recycling, other recycling, everything else not otherwise specified so that it can all be collected on the correct day and likely sent all to land fill anyway, after all that effort, because the higher levels of government have so completely rooted the recycling process and industry so that we have no choice because China has eventually given us the middle finger for years of sending **** to them all mixed up.
As an aside, not airline related but transport...........
I had occasion to travel on rail transport and use Melbourne's 'Myki'.
Seriously, what oxygen deprived at birth, brain damaged chimp with a head injury developed this crock of sh-t.......
Was concerned that there'd be a shortage of 'railway drones' at the station so I went there the night before to organise a card - machine had a pretty screen, asked me what I wanted to do so I pressed 'Buy Myki' since I wanted to buy a Myki, that seemed the logical thing.
Then it asked me if I wanted to top up my Myki, OK, I think, that's seems logical, it's selected a blank Myki from the supply and is asking what I'd like to put on it ($10, $20, etc etc) - NOOOOO, it had assumed that since I tapped 'buy Myki' that one must have immediately been beamed into my hand by some guy called Scotty on a 23rd Century Star-ship in orbit and that now I must want to top it up.
Meanwhile it greyed out 'Buy Myki' - so just for sh-ts and giggles I tapped 'top up Myki' - then it asked me what zone I am in, you mean the f-cking machine doesn't know where it is??
In the end I questioned it's parentage with explicit language and suggested in a similar fashion that it attempt self conception and stormed off - I mean, OK, I thought on the way home, perhaps it was out of Myki cards - if so, a message to that effect would be bloody helpful.
It certainly left me wondering what inbred coupling had produced the simpleton that designed the machine, let alone the system.
I'm sure other cities' systems can be unfamiliar if you don't live there but I never had any problem in Singapore or London or Sydney for that matter - maybe in Melbourne there should be a sign pointing out that you must have an IQ in excess of 180 and degrees in Quantum Mechanics, String Theory and Differential Calculus before attempting to buy a ticket.
"Welcome to Melbourne's Metro, featuring the only train stations in the world where you can't buy a train ticket". But plenty of border farce rail types to fine you if you don't have one.
For those that are old enough to remember the Goon Show, reminds me of that skit where they got up Blackpool Tower to be greeted by a elderly Liverpool man telling them "carn coom oop blackpool toower wi-out a ticket" to which they said they'd go down and get one "carn goo doon blackpool toower wi-out a ticket"....... this went on for a few minutes before Neddy Seagoon cried "Damn, stranded up Blackpool Tower" to which the little man added "wi-oot a ticket!!!!"
In short, it's not just Qantas but everywhere...........
Last edited by AerialPerspective; 2nd Feb 2022 at 13:05.
At least a joke is funny.
Nothing funny about the appalling airport experience arriving from overseas.
Do the Immigration officers still shout at the passengers arriving from Asia ' We speak English here !' when the pax don't understand them ?
Or have they figured out that they might need a few officers with appropriate language skills which correlate to the origin port of the pax ???
I think I already know the answer to that.
Nothing funny about the appalling airport experience arriving from overseas.
Do the Immigration officers still shout at the passengers arriving from Asia ' We speak English here !' when the pax don't understand them ?
Or have they figured out that they might need a few officers with appropriate language skills which correlate to the origin port of the pax ???
I think I already know the answer to that.
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At least a joke is funny.
Nothing funny about the appalling airport experience arriving from overseas.
Do the Immigration officers still shout at the passengers arriving from Asia ' We speak English here !' when the pax don't understand them ?
Or have they figured out that they might need a few officers with appropriate language skills which correlate to the origin port of the pax ???
I think I already know the answer to that.
Nothing funny about the appalling airport experience arriving from overseas.
Do the Immigration officers still shout at the passengers arriving from Asia ' We speak English here !' when the pax don't understand them ?
Or have they figured out that they might need a few officers with appropriate language skills which correlate to the origin port of the pax ???
I think I already know the answer to that.
