XXX traffic, cessna XXX entering downfield for midwind one niner........

just did that one today!

Now that made me chuckle!!! :ok:

ATC Humour for LATCC Book?
 

There is a lot of stuff here that I would love to use in my forthcoming book on LATCC. If any of you would like to contact me direct with your stories for inclusion in this publication. If you look at the thread further down entitle Book on LATCC it will give more idea of what I am trying to achieve. These are exactly the bits and pieces I feel should go down in print for posterity!

Lorie Coffey

True story - but 18 years old!

China Air out of Sharjah eastbound - airborne off Runway 12 calls airborne.

ATC clears Air China direct LALDO [entry point Muscat FIR on A1] climb FL330.

Air China responds "Lodger - dilect RARLDO FL330".

ATC responds "negative - direct LALDO"

Air China responds "Lodger, dilect RARLDO".

ATC responds "negative, negative - track direct LALDO".

Air China responds "how you spell RARLDO"

ATC responds "RIMA ALPHA RIMA DELTA OSCAR"!!

The last one made me chuckle! :}

"rogah, hold at ROKKI!"

EGBJ the other day...
 

Too busy talking to my passenger, obviousily not paying attention to the ATIS...

Me: Glos Tower, G-XX with information err, um, err... whatever it was, Rwy 27, QNH 1015 (not even close) for taxi

TWR: G-XX, Glos Tower, whatever it was has now changed to Mike, QNH is now 1005 and the Rynway is still 27, so one out of three correct!

Me: Unable to replay as I was laughing so much....

I'm currently flying light aircraft a lot around Sydney and typically encounter a lot of indian students from the bankstown pilot factories.

One time after one of these indian pilots made a departure call a comedian in the circuit came over the radio, simpsons style, with 'thank-you. Come again'. Rightly or wrongly it still made me laugh.

Almost as old as me; apologies if it's been posted before.

"JAL nnn resume own navigation to Pole Hill."

"Dilec whea?"

"Pole Hill, POL."

"Not can find, Porill."

American voice. "Makes you wonder how they found Pearl Harbor."

On the Indian theme...

Following several inbound calls made by students with heavy accents
"Tower, XYZ, tomahawk, inbound with information PAPADOM....":}

Heathrow Ground and BA pilot................

HG - SpeedbirdXXX are you fully parked?

BA - Errrr about another 4" sir........

HG - Roger thats good enough for me

BA - My wife says the same.......

Cue laughter from ground!! :D

Virgins .....
 

Some years ago I worked in a major Centre in Australia.The weather was exceptionally bad, and there were jets all over the place. I was doing an arrivals sector, and the controller sitting beside me had the airspace with the one hole in the weather. After copping nearly everyone's traffic that afternoon the final straw had come. He looked at the mess coming towards him, and remarked .. "I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but for f$cks sake, keep that Virgin away from me" !!!!

When i was a lowly PPL bashing the circuit at Teesside, had the ultimate feeder line...

ATC "G-KV you are number 2 to a Fokker 100 on a 4 mile final, report visual"

[Pause for effect...]

Me "G-KV Visual... I have the fokker in sight"

ATC "You've always wanted to say that haven't you?"

Me "Oh Yes"

Last Thursday 19 June, about 1600 local ..

very efficient sounding G- XXXX " Filton Approach, G-XXX with you at XXXX on XXXX, out of XXXXX for XXXX, waffle waffle,....... and we have information Victor"

Filton Approach " Ah, that's interesting, we don't have an ATIS...."

Well, it made me chuckle.

Heard a couple of weeks back at Lands End on a very blustery day
Microlight G-** just passing Pendeen ground speed 15 Knts
Controller Roger hope you have bought some sandwiches with you

Just made me laugh

Ian

Me on my 2nd solo nav training for PPL, after slightly bouncy crosswind landing and flustered taxi call I took off again and was departing Essendon via Yan Yean (a massive lake/reservoir)
EN TWR in a very -I'm talking to an idiot- kind of voice
"XYZ Yan Yean is at your 12 oclock, 1 mile, clear to close this frequency"
(Yan yean was filling about 3/4 of my windscreen at this point!) :}

WELLCONCERNED.

Excellent story! LoL! Rima Alpha...

The other day there was a distinctly new lady pilot on frequency with an exceptionally nice voice...

She calls me up on ground for the clearance with I give (with absolute pleasure). She finishes up the read back and before I can say anything someone else cuts in and says:
"My apologies, I didn't catch that, say again..."

Again, before I could say anything, she starts off and gives me the whole thing again...
When she finishes our anonymous hero steps in again,
"Thanks, I'm not ground and I heard it all the first time. But I just wanted to hear you say it again!":O

Good job that man!!:D

YouTube - JFK ATC Bad Day at the office - Funny

Made me smile

R/T funnies
 

(Don't know whether or not this has already been posted so apologies if it has)

Was crossing the north sea a while ago and heard (and recognised) a colleagues (anonymous) voice say to London:

"I'm bored!!" Silence from London et al. Then:
"Correction; i'm f**king bored!!"

London: "Who said that?" Stunned silence on a normally busy frequency, followed by:

"I said i'm f**king bored, not f**king stupid!!"

Could not string two coherent words together for some minutes!