Ok my bad. Thought the MLS was canned years ago :ugh:
Just thought it was a nickname for the ils. |
Solo in an EC120 with declared PAN, intending autorotation approach, 2 miles to run, 120knt, 1400ft.
ATC: [EC120] You are No1; cleared to land, any surface. Wind 260 at 12. One in the circuit. Me: No1, cleared to land. Will use Area 1 passing to the right of the crash truck. Visual R22 downwind in the circuit. Commencing autorotation in 30 seconds. [Fresh call] R22: XXXX Downwind, I can turn inside the EC120 for 26H ATC: (very calmly) XXXX that's very interesting, thanks for letting me know; and you are still No2 to the 120 with declared PAN. Well, it made me laugh. And "Thank You" to ATC for making things easy for me! |
Dear Mr Air Traffic Controller, EGCC. Just a quick thank you for sending those lovely aeroplanes over my house this morning. Can I just say what a pleasure it was to watch those magnificent men (and ladies) in their flying machines. My trusty hound, Max, and I were particularly impressed how the wake vortex from the Singapore Airlines 777 made the panes in our greenhouse shudder and rattle. Oh how those Pratt and Whitney's sing ! Interestingly, I'm having the morning off tomorrow, and I was wondering if you would prefer to share the delights of those lovely aeroplanes with my friends in Stockport. I'm told the Peak District is a delight at present, and I'm sure all those fee paying passengers would delight in how close Kinder Scout looks at this time of year. I wouldn't worry too much about the wind direction thing, I'm told aeroplanes can land quite safely with up to a 5mph tail wind (Unless Prince Charles is flying it.) Bruce Willis made it look easy in "Die Hard II" Anyway, must sign off for now, heres hoping you have a lovely day, ginge :-)
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Somebody's grumpy
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Indeed... and I used to have respect for him.
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Not grumpy, a little tired perhaps, knew the risk when I moved here, and I LOVE 'EM ;)
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On the sims, practising avoiding actions on airway 060º-240º oppossite track traffic:
TATC: "TOM324 avoiding action, turn right inmediately heading 120º" TOM324: "Turning right heading 120º..." TACT "BEE11J avoiding action turn left inmediately heading 180º.... OH F**K!!:eek:" (with the pedal still pressed!!!) :E |
GRD: Cessna 172 ABC follow companying traffic with the yellow tail on taxiway Bravo then right onto November.
ABC: Copy that follow the BANANA on bravo then right onto November. :} |
This happened to me just today flying back from Las Vegas:
LA Center: Squawk 4666. Me: Hey, that sounds a bit menacing. Squawking 4666 now. After a pause: LA Center: I can give you another squawk if you prefer, sir. Me: It's fine, I'm an atheist. LA Center: Haha. Radar contact. |
This happened some years ago when I was in uncontrolled airspace and need to clip the corner of some class D: In New Zealand all glider registrations start with G
Me: "ROT tower, this is GML. Overhead xxx at 4500', request clearance to transit direct to yyy." Tower: "GML: Please Orbit and maintain height and position" Me: "Tower: This is Glider ML. I can orbit, or maintain height, or hold position. Please choose one." |
Demonstrating differences vs european and US phraseology few days ago on approach frequency:
UPS9 climb FL230, expedite through FL120. Roger - climbing 230, desperate till 120. |
ahahahaha priceless :D:D
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Don't know if these have been posted before:
------------------------------------------- a/c: Twr, request approximate time check; Twr: Saturday..... ------------------------------------------- or these after slightly dodgy landings: Twr: G-XX, request number of souls on board a/c: G-XX: Two plus a dog Twr: Presume dog was Pilot in Command.... ------------------------------------------- Twr: G-XX, can you please confirm Pilot's name is Tigger....... |
Accoding to my older colleagues this really happend:
ATC: "Report 2 minutes before field in sight" |
Overheard on the ground frequency at a major Scottish airport.
Ryanair XXX "Request clearance to Rygge" Ground "Rygge? Where's that" Ryanair "Near Oslo" Undentified interloper "About 1000 miles away you mean" Ryanair "Oooh-err missus" Ground "Now Now" Flybe "In penance, it appears our stand isn't ready" Made me laugh anyway - thanks chaps :ok: |
Heard this morning
Bearing in mind Rex operates SAAB 340's ATC: Rex 2 zero HEAVY Rex202: 2 zero WHAT? |
Heard this exchange recently over the North Sea between a Heathrow-bound BA flight and London ATC.
A/C "Speedbird XYZ, we're running very early, can we slow down in the descent?" ATC "You can, but there's a few just behind you so you'll lose your place in the sequence." A/C "Ok, we're not that early." |
How it is in the biggest Sergeants' Mess in the world
In the Radar room the conversations sometimes bear record.
New Controller (hard-pressed): ‘Jack, Jack! I’ve got an urgent medivac here!’ Senior colleague, who’s seen it all before: ‘Don’t look at me, mate, I’m not a f****** doctor!’ |
Something along these lines was overheard this morning.
ATC: 'Virginxxx fly heading 090 degrees' Virginxxx: 'Heading 090 degrees, Virginxxx' ATC: 'Batman118 descend FL180' Batman118: 'Descend FL180, Batman118' Unknown voice: 'Batman?!' Unknown voice: 'Nanananana' Unknown voice: 'Where's Robin?' Unknown voice: 'And Catwoman?!' Unknown voice: 'She's sat next to me!' Unknown voice: 'What kinda callsign is that?!' Batman118: 'Just because you're jealous...' Made me chuckle |
Great stuff. Glad to know that humour still exists.
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