ATC Humour (Merged)
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 130
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From: UK
hers an anogram that is totaly off topic
if you remeber Virginia bottemly her name is an anagran of
I'm an evil tory bigot
The bbc programme ELDORADO that flopped is an anogram of REAL DODO
Tony Blair is an anogrom of BLATANT LIAR - well it isn't but it should be
if you remeber Virginia bottemly her name is an anagran of
I'm an evil tory bigot
The bbc programme ELDORADO that flopped is an anogram of REAL DODO
Tony Blair is an anogrom of BLATANT LIAR - well it isn't but it should be
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1
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From: Cardiff, UK
WRONG!!!
How sad that this is my first ever message on PPRuNe, has to be said though:
Barnaby, you're wrong I'm afraid, ERINSBROUGH does not = NEIGHBOURS. It's bloody close, but count the R's - 2 in ERINSBROUGH, only one in NEIGHBOURS - another urban myth bites the dust!
Dogs can't look up though.
Sorry,
Dave
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 97
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From: Southampton
Heard a couple of Sunday's ago (think about it!)
London: "Easy???? Bristol have carried out a runway inspection since your departure - and they say it looks like you killed a rabbit".
EZY????: "Roger - Thanks for the info".
Unknown voice (incredibly quickly for 0700 local): "Let's hope it wasn't the Easter Bunny".
London: "Easy???? Bristol have carried out a runway inspection since your departure - and they say it looks like you killed a rabbit".
EZY????: "Roger - Thanks for the info".
Unknown voice (incredibly quickly for 0700 local): "Let's hope it wasn't the Easter Bunny".
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 8,266
Likes: 1
From: Berkshire, UK
DDM18 - You're not taking those tablets I prescribed are you? If you were in ATC you'd understand the bizarre humour we share!
My offering: Heathrow Tower is an anagram for "Mrs Miggins Pie Shop". Well, OK, one or two letters out.....
My offering: Heathrow Tower is an anagram for "Mrs Miggins Pie Shop". Well, OK, one or two letters out.....
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 223
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From: Kagerplassen
Not very funny to read probably, but we had a good laugh at the time...
Colleage from flight school in a 737 behind us, waiting to line up RWY 18 in FRA, I as FO in an A320.
TWR: LHxxx, you see the Airbus in front of you?
737: LHxxx, affirm, we do
Me: Tower, correction, you must mean the >>beautiful<< Airbus in front of him?
TWR: LHxxx behind the beautiful Airbus in front of you, line up RWY 18 behind
737: ggrmbl... eeuhm... well... behind the Scarebus we will line up behind then.
I love it when they play along :-)
P77
Colleage from flight school in a 737 behind us, waiting to line up RWY 18 in FRA, I as FO in an A320.
TWR: LHxxx, you see the Airbus in front of you?
737: LHxxx, affirm, we do
Me: Tower, correction, you must mean the >>beautiful<< Airbus in front of him?
TWR: LHxxx behind the beautiful Airbus in front of you, line up RWY 18 behind
737: ggrmbl... eeuhm... well... behind the Scarebus we will line up behind then.
I love it when they play along :-)
P77
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 168
Likes: 1
From: UK
EGBKFLYER/Lon More (19 Apr)
Not doubting others may have had similar calls but the original "classic" exchange (circa '69 / 70) was with a 46Sqn Andover en route to Aldergrove:
"London, Ascot xxx is an Andover on handover from Andover carrying bustards and a landrover over."
"Ascot xxx understand you're a landrover full of b*astards over!!?
At the time we were assisting in a government effort to introduce the Great Bustard into Northern Ireland from a conservancy site in Wilts close to Andover. The Bustard is a rare bird about size of a turkey. Also had a troop of pongos on board with their trusty steed the landrover.
Not doubting others may have had similar calls but the original "classic" exchange (circa '69 / 70) was with a 46Sqn Andover en route to Aldergrove:
"London, Ascot xxx is an Andover on handover from Andover carrying bustards and a landrover over."
"Ascot xxx understand you're a landrover full of b*astards over!!?
At the time we were assisting in a government effort to introduce the Great Bustard into Northern Ireland from a conservancy site in Wilts close to Andover. The Bustard is a rare bird about size of a turkey. Also had a troop of pongos on board with their trusty steed the landrover.
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4
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From: Europe
this happened to me in the simulators.
I was controlling and my fellow colleagues-students were on the other side, piloting.
By th way, I am spanish ,and thus have a distinctive accent , and my colleagues are all english native speakers.
student ( that is me) :
F50, traffic information for you, BE10 on left downwind rwy 24 nr1. you are nr.2 behind that traffic.
facker50 , report that bitch inside
(no answer)
everyone had taken their headsets off and couldn't continue the exercise....
I was controlling and my fellow colleagues-students were on the other side, piloting.
By th way, I am spanish ,and thus have a distinctive accent , and my colleagues are all english native speakers.
student ( that is me) :
F50, traffic information for you, BE10 on left downwind rwy 24 nr1. you are nr.2 behind that traffic.
facker50 , report that bitch inside
(no answer)
everyone had taken their headsets off and couldn't continue the exercise....
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
From: Clevaland, OH USA
I just found this forum...great stuff!
I'm an ATC at Cleveland Center in the US. Over the last 13 years, I've had a few laughs, but the funniest situations are when the pilots work with you...
B757: Cleveland Center/UALXXX on you, FL390.
Me: UALXXX, roger.
HS25: Cleveland/HawkerXXXX checking in, FL370 looking for FL390.
Me: HawkerXXXX, roger. Traffic 3:00, 40 miles, FL390, a 757. Higher in about 6 minutes.
(about 2 minutes later)
HS25: HawkerXXXX looking for FL390.
Me: XXXX, your traffic is now 3:00, 25 miles, FL390. Higher clearing him.
(about 30 seconds later)
HS25: Center, how's 390 looking?
Me: HawkerXXXX, say ride conditions (thinking he was getting a rough ride).
HS25: Smooth.
Me: HawkerXXXX, if I climb you now, you'll be the hood ornament on a 757.
B757: Center, we're not configured for a hood ornament.
...thanks again to that 757 pilot, whomever you are
B757: Cleveland Center/UALXXX on you, FL390.
Me: UALXXX, roger.
HS25: Cleveland/HawkerXXXX checking in, FL370 looking for FL390.
Me: HawkerXXXX, roger. Traffic 3:00, 40 miles, FL390, a 757. Higher in about 6 minutes.
(about 2 minutes later)
HS25: HawkerXXXX looking for FL390.
Me: XXXX, your traffic is now 3:00, 25 miles, FL390. Higher clearing him.
(about 30 seconds later)
HS25: Center, how's 390 looking?
Me: HawkerXXXX, say ride conditions (thinking he was getting a rough ride).
HS25: Smooth.
Me: HawkerXXXX, if I climb you now, you'll be the hood ornament on a 757.
B757: Center, we're not configured for a hood ornament.
...thanks again to that 757 pilot, whomever you are
Guest
Posts: n/a
The other day whilst in the tower...
A/c: Ground, we just saw two foxes nip across the taxiway in front of us
Me: Roger
A/c: Ground, the foxes are just abeam us now playing on the grass area
Me: Roger
A/c: Ground, it looks like they are enjoying the joys of spring!!!!!
I could not speak for a while afterwards!!!!!
LORI
A/c: Ground, we just saw two foxes nip across the taxiway in front of us
Me: Roger
A/c: Ground, the foxes are just abeam us now playing on the grass area
Me: Roger
A/c: Ground, it looks like they are enjoying the joys of spring!!!!!
I could not speak for a while afterwards!!!!!
LORI
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 46
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From: England
These may've cropped up before:
ATC: G-XX; caution, rabbit on the Runway.
G-XX: Roger the Rabbit, G-XX.
and
ATC: G-XX, request your point of departure.
G-XX: Well, it was a nice day and I thought I'd go Flying.
ATC: G-XX; caution, rabbit on the Runway.
G-XX: Roger the Rabbit, G-XX.
and
ATC: G-XX, request your point of departure.
G-XX: Well, it was a nice day and I thought I'd go Flying.
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 54
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From: Norway
I had a big laugh at work today...
I was working director in the morning, and British(BRT) with E-145 came over to me on direct track to 10NM final.
Suddenly they made a 15-20 degrees turn to the right, so I asked
"BRT866, confirm heading for 10NM final???"
Pilot answered me : " Yes, we are trying, but we have a Brasilian computer onboard!! "
I had a great laugh..it made my day
final vectors
I was working director in the morning, and British(BRT) with E-145 came over to me on direct track to 10NM final.
Suddenly they made a 15-20 degrees turn to the right, so I asked
"BRT866, confirm heading for 10NM final???"
Pilot answered me : " Yes, we are trying, but we have a Brasilian computer onboard!! "
I had a great laugh..it made my day
final vectors
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,839
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From: Adrift upon the tides of fate
Toronto Tower freq some years ago.......
Ward Air: TWR what's the delay here?
TWR: There's no delay here, you're clear for take-off, contact deptartures etc.
Ward Air: Clear for take-off? But there's 9 aircraft ahead of us here!
TWR: Now you're getting the picture, you moron, stop wasting my time.
30 days suspension, but worth it in my book!
Ward Air: TWR what's the delay here?
TWR: There's no delay here, you're clear for take-off, contact deptartures etc.
Ward Air: Clear for take-off? But there's 9 aircraft ahead of us here!
TWR: Now you're getting the picture, you moron, stop wasting my time.
30 days suspension, but worth it in my book!
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 161
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From: NeverLand
CPDLC
CPDLC stands for Controller-Pilot Data Link Comm's
Normally pilots check in as: C/s, FL, then they say cpdlc.
The other day some1 calls in as that -spelling the cpdlc:cee-pee-dee-el-cee- as usual, but my guess is that the crew got a bit puzzled when they heard as a reply:
XXX, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, u're identified.
cheers, A.
Normally pilots check in as: C/s, FL, then they say cpdlc.
The other day some1 calls in as that -spelling the cpdlc:cee-pee-dee-el-cee- as usual, but my guess is that the crew got a bit puzzled when they heard as a reply:
XXX, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, u're identified.
cheers, A.