Pirate opportunities in Somalia?
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In a place where I dont have to fly for food.
Posts: 259
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Oh
All that experience sounds like hard to work to me. Is there any way I can bribe someone to get onto a bigger ship? My parents have sold their house so I can be a pirate. I just want to be on a big ship so when we dock in port I can tell all the maidens that I am pirate.
All that experience sounds like hard to work to me. Is there any way I can bribe someone to get onto a bigger ship? My parents have sold their house so I can be a pirate. I just want to be on a big ship so when we dock in port I can tell all the maidens that I am pirate.
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: South of North
Posts: 655
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
To truly be competitive for the position of 'Cadet Pirate' you should have the minimum SPL (Sea Pirate Licence) and experience in thuggery, looting, debauchery, cheating, lying.
Those with airline management experience are assumed to excel in the above and will therefore be given first preference.
Those with airline management experience are assumed to excel in the above and will therefore be given first preference.
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 106
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You guys have it all wrong. You should be pirating because of your love for the sea, not because you want more money. I'll take any decent pirating job I can find, hell, I'll even do it for free just to build some Pirate in Command time.
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: All around the World
Posts: 131
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Captseth,
It is precisely people like you who are driving down the terms and conditions of pirating globally.
Can you not see that people like you make it even harder for every genuine one legged pirate wannabe to get on the ladder?
You come along with your two legs, self supplied machette / AK47, designer eye patch and motorised dinghy, and offer to 'pirate for free'!!!
Then we all wonder why our ransom notes are not being afforded the immediate attention they deserve, and even then insurance companies now want to haggle the size of the ransom. Experienced pirates are having to relocate from ocean to ocean in search of T&C's that will enable them to feed their enclaves. We have lost all respect. Gone is the time when all the kids in my rebel stronghold dreamed of becoming pirates. Now they all clamour for "respectable" careers like armed robbery, fraud, and investment banking.
Pay your dues to the profession,...start out with minor kidnappings, assault, rioting and looting like we all did, and work your way up. The rewards are sweeter when it comes with a sense of self fulfilment.
rant over..............
I'll take any decent pirating job I can find, hell, I'll even do it for free just to build some Pirate in Command time.
Can you not see that people like you make it even harder for every genuine one legged pirate wannabe to get on the ladder?
You come along with your two legs, self supplied machette / AK47, designer eye patch and motorised dinghy, and offer to 'pirate for free'!!!
Then we all wonder why our ransom notes are not being afforded the immediate attention they deserve, and even then insurance companies now want to haggle the size of the ransom. Experienced pirates are having to relocate from ocean to ocean in search of T&C's that will enable them to feed their enclaves. We have lost all respect. Gone is the time when all the kids in my rebel stronghold dreamed of becoming pirates. Now they all clamour for "respectable" careers like armed robbery, fraud, and investment banking.
Pay your dues to the profession,...start out with minor kidnappings, assault, rioting and looting like we all did, and work your way up. The rewards are sweeter when it comes with a sense of self fulfilment.
rant over..............
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: in a van down by the river
Posts: 276
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Ray: Excellent post!
You are correct in stating that these young buccaneer types are dragging the once noble pirate profession to the bottom of the sea. Damn it....they have to earn the eyepatch! Hell, I didn't even get a parrot on my shoulder until after my 4th pillage. Unfortunately today it is all all about the PTP (pay to pirate) schemes.
You are correct in stating that these young buccaneer types are dragging the once noble pirate profession to the bottom of the sea. Damn it....they have to earn the eyepatch! Hell, I didn't even get a parrot on my shoulder until after my 4th pillage. Unfortunately today it is all all about the PTP (pay to pirate) schemes.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Africa
Age: 44
Posts: 237
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I cant take credit for this, came from a mate, but too funny!
MOGADISHU. Somalia's pirates have announced that from now on ransoms need to be paid in pieces of eight or Spanish doubloons and delivered by a monkey in a bolero dragging the money in a sack. Meanwhile shipping companies say negotiations with the pirates are becoming increasingly time-consuming as the pirates' only response to ultimatums is "Arrrrhhh!"
The new demands were made at daybreak this morning by a Somali official who claims to be the Pirate King, although the US and Indian navy officials who received the demands said that the official did not look like a Pirate King as he had both his legs and the parrot on his shoulder appeared to be a rat with feathers glued to it.
They said he was also wearing only a grass skirt and a tiara reportedly stolen from a Chinese socialite.
According to the officials the Pirate King used the opportunity to say "Arrrhhh!" repeatedly, however in a break with tradition he also said, "Well shiver me timbers!"
They conceded that attempts to follow the Pirate King to his pirate lair had failed.
"Our main concern is for the hostages, who have been forced to watch pirate revelries, listen to pirate songs, and watch the pirates count their pirate booty," said Admiral Deepak Chopra of the Indian Navy.
However, he said, they had lost sight of the Pirate King's galleon after "sailing into a dense and otherworldly fog, in which we could see nothing but the cutlasses at our sides and hear naught but a distant laughter, as if a madman were luring us towards the very gates of Hell."
Meanwhile shipping companies have urged the Indian Navy to "move away from a romantic narrative approach to fighting piracy and towards using ballistic firearms".
According to a spokesman for Swedish shipping giant Smegma, providing future ransoms in antiquated Spanish coins was going to be far less difficult than handling delivery-monkeys.
"We stopped using monkeys to deliver ransoms to pirates decades ago for one simple reason: they're incredibly unreliable with money," said spokesman Jurg Gotterdammerung, alluding to the 1957 Suez Incident when a monkey named Mr Bojangles ran off with a suitcase containing $9 million in doubloons and spent it all on a small packet of nuts.
However Gotterdammerung said that the safety of the hostages was paramount, and if the pirates wanted a monkey to deliver the money, they would get a monkey.
"It's possible we can develop some sort of monkey-delivery system," he said. "Perhaps stapling the monkey to the money-sack and firing them both at the pirates from some sort of high-pressure air-hose."
Meanwhile Somali tourism officials say that piracy is hurting the region as a tourist destination.
"The graph was looking fantastic," said tour operator Ahmed Ahmed Al-Ahmed. "In the 1980s we had four foreign visitors. In the 1990s we had six, and since 2000 we had had seven."
But he said bookings had now slowed from one per year to "just a trickle".
MOGADISHU. Somalia's pirates have announced that from now on ransoms need to be paid in pieces of eight or Spanish doubloons and delivered by a monkey in a bolero dragging the money in a sack. Meanwhile shipping companies say negotiations with the pirates are becoming increasingly time-consuming as the pirates' only response to ultimatums is "Arrrrhhh!"
The new demands were made at daybreak this morning by a Somali official who claims to be the Pirate King, although the US and Indian navy officials who received the demands said that the official did not look like a Pirate King as he had both his legs and the parrot on his shoulder appeared to be a rat with feathers glued to it.
They said he was also wearing only a grass skirt and a tiara reportedly stolen from a Chinese socialite.
According to the officials the Pirate King used the opportunity to say "Arrrhhh!" repeatedly, however in a break with tradition he also said, "Well shiver me timbers!"
They conceded that attempts to follow the Pirate King to his pirate lair had failed.
"Our main concern is for the hostages, who have been forced to watch pirate revelries, listen to pirate songs, and watch the pirates count their pirate booty," said Admiral Deepak Chopra of the Indian Navy.
However, he said, they had lost sight of the Pirate King's galleon after "sailing into a dense and otherworldly fog, in which we could see nothing but the cutlasses at our sides and hear naught but a distant laughter, as if a madman were luring us towards the very gates of Hell."
Meanwhile shipping companies have urged the Indian Navy to "move away from a romantic narrative approach to fighting piracy and towards using ballistic firearms".
According to a spokesman for Swedish shipping giant Smegma, providing future ransoms in antiquated Spanish coins was going to be far less difficult than handling delivery-monkeys.
"We stopped using monkeys to deliver ransoms to pirates decades ago for one simple reason: they're incredibly unreliable with money," said spokesman Jurg Gotterdammerung, alluding to the 1957 Suez Incident when a monkey named Mr Bojangles ran off with a suitcase containing $9 million in doubloons and spent it all on a small packet of nuts.
However Gotterdammerung said that the safety of the hostages was paramount, and if the pirates wanted a monkey to deliver the money, they would get a monkey.
"It's possible we can develop some sort of monkey-delivery system," he said. "Perhaps stapling the monkey to the money-sack and firing them both at the pirates from some sort of high-pressure air-hose."
Meanwhile Somali tourism officials say that piracy is hurting the region as a tourist destination.
"The graph was looking fantastic," said tour operator Ahmed Ahmed Al-Ahmed. "In the 1980s we had four foreign visitors. In the 1990s we had six, and since 2000 we had had seven."
But he said bookings had now slowed from one per year to "just a trickle".
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Cape Town (where else?)
Posts: 579
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Arrr, if ye rrreally want t' sprrread yerrr win's and apply ferrr pirrratin' jobs in forrreign countrrries, then ye ne'd t' be able t' be flappin' on like one o' th' locals, and a bottle of rum!
Speakie like a locally-borrrn Pirrrate, usin' this easy t' use trrranslaterrr:
capstrat.com: Talk Like a Pirate Day translater
Argh!
Speakie like a locally-borrrn Pirrrate, usin' this easy t' use trrranslaterrr:
capstrat.com: Talk Like a Pirate Day translater
Argh!
EasyLife
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 20
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Guys, serrriously, and a bottle of rum!, and a bottle of rum!, and a bottle of rum!, and a bottle of rum!, and a bottle of rum!, and a bottle of rum!arrre therrre any companies out therrre employin' 'aviatorrrs' in th' anti-pirrracy rrrole?
cheerrrs!
cheerrrs!
