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Pirate opportunities in Somalia?

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Pirate opportunities in Somalia?

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Old 20th Dec 2009, 08:11
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It seems to be a very tough career to get into, even George Harrison could not get a look in.......

YouTube - George Harrison on Rutland Weekend Television
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Old 20th Dec 2009, 14:56
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Question

otherwise it's just pirating for fun which restricts you to molesting female captives.
I didn't realize that pirates were so particular as to who they molest.
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Old 21st Dec 2009, 00:19
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OK... maybe it's just me but I'm particular who I bunk down with ... minimum one leg, maximum six but always female
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Old 21st Dec 2009, 06:27
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Unfortunately employees must provide their own food,accommodation,ratings etc. I employ pirates who must be able to fend for themselves,survival of the fittest type setup
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Old 21st Dec 2009, 06:33
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Any extra experience will be considered a bonus and you only need to a dunking course in the warmer waters of the Indian Ocean and you also would attend a course in "How to survive a shark attack" including eye-poking,kicking,screaming etc

Furthermore I have bought a highly sophisticated Pirates Simulator where you can go through procedural exercises like how to climb up the side of an oil-tanker with a piece of rope and how to duck flying bullets or catching them with your teeth.

This training is voluntary and free of charge
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Old 21st Dec 2009, 07:36
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As a senior manager for the "International community responsible for the administration of pirates" also known as ICRAP or CRAP for short. Please be advised that we will do CRAP back round checks on all those new members who "claim" to have previous experience. Further more, no operation may employ a new pirate without him having paid his "ICRAP money", and being in possession of his CRAP dangerous goods certificate. Every 12 months, you will be expected to do a CRAP CRM course, as well as a CRAP EPT course. Many operations do not pay for these, so you will be required to cough up for them yourself and do them on your own time.
Our organization prides its self on CRAP service, so should you be in a spot of bother please just shout OH CRAP, and we will see if we can hear you.
Many regards
CRAP management.
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Old 24th Dec 2009, 15:36
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I think I am going to become a gynaecologist. I have had enough of dealing with all the @rseholes in the aviation business. I need a new view ....... something with a bit of taste!

ct
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Old 25th Dec 2009, 07:16
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Without a doubt the most intelligent thread in PPRUNE history!
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Old 25th Dec 2009, 08:57
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While I dont have any Indian Ocean commercial experience I did spend many years in the Royal Arrrrrr Force, will this help my cv to be noticed?
Thanks
Captain Gaspasser of the good ship Flatulence
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Old 25th Dec 2009, 09:04
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Old 25th Dec 2009, 09:23
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Been there done that.
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Old 25th Dec 2009, 15:52
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Pay is crappy, but there is nobody collecting taxes and no annoying bureacracy to deal with - the goverment won't bring your business down here
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Old 25th Dec 2009, 17:26
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MungoP - after a long contract away from home even the cabin boys start to become fair game after half a bottle of Captain Morgan's - Tongue in cheek(Not that cheek!)

Last edited by Mobotu; 27th Dec 2009 at 18:59. Reason: Typo
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Old 26th Dec 2009, 08:41
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Mobutu its the same but different.

Let me explain.

Lets say you stick your tongue in my ass. So therefore, we both have tongue in ass - its the same - but different.
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Old 26th Dec 2009, 13:42
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Well your background sounds good but you forgot to mention how much Rum you can drink and would one-legged chicks be good enough for you? When a fellow sailor calls you a D*&S will you take offence or revenge?
We can arrange a meeting at the Dar-es-Salaam Yacht Club sometime,it has a great view,good food and it will give you a good idea of the setup at our main base

Captain Sparrowhimaradin ( if I remember correctly that is my surname)
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Old 30th Dec 2009, 07:31
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Dilated to meet you.

Cave Troll.

You should consider the home study gynaecology course that way you can you can keep your hand in and still be a full time pirate.

At your cervix.
Max.
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Old 3rd Jan 2010, 12:52
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Aaaaaargh, gentlemen o' fortune !


CAE Aviation from ELLX won a contract to film us, pirates, off the African coasts. Think they use Caravans, but don't quote me on that.

Suitably qualified pirates might have a chance to win some fine sweet doubloons but hurry, it might already be too late.

Aircraft based in paradisiac island, finding lassies and grog shouldn't be a problem. A place to burry your booty probably will.



With the best regards of Captain Othello and his salty seamen
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Old 3rd Jan 2010, 15:02
  #38 (permalink)  
 
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Are there members with Multi Crew Only Pirate licenses? I don't know how I would feel in a raid with a fellow Pirate who can only work in groups...
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Old 3rd Jan 2010, 15:37
  #39 (permalink)  
 
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I have never gone solo in a sail boat and I cant swim but I do have a multi crew galleon rating and have sailed it across the training pond once. what are my chances of getting a job on a big ship or do I have to sell my soul to increase my chances?
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Old 3rd Jan 2010, 16:27
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Fly For food 06

"what are my chances of getting a job on a big ship"

If you are from a previously disadvantaged background your chances are quite good but if you are a white caucasion male we require you to have at least 3 years prior experience of raping, pilliaging and hijacking passenger liners.

Additionally you should be a good team player, and skilled 'hostage ransom' negotiator and be able to speak Arabic and Swahili.

Applicants who are able to look good on CNN while steering an unseaworthy outrigger canoe while firing an Ak47 into the air shouting' Jihad' will get preference.
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