Global Aviation Magazine : 60 Years of the Hercules

[Dougie M]

In our little group we had black kneepads so white chinagraphs.
As an aside, whilst on the above det the DZSO, who got himself into several scrapes was briefing boat troop by 2 Gemini craft. He indicated to the boys which would be despatched first. "Get a piece of chalk from the Nav to mark the boats" he said.
"Wot do you think I've got up here? a blackboard? I cried.
He came over and said "Don't ridicule me in front of the troops"
When he got back, he saw that the troops had found some clay and had written on the geminis: BOAT 1 on the first and NOT BOAT 1 on the second!
It would take a heart of stone.

[smujsmith]

Good stuff Doug, at least the DZSO wasn't the oxymoron of all time the IO Just crossed the border in to Sturgeonland, might be cut off from civilisation for a few days. Do you still do re supplies North of Hadrians wall ??????

Smudge

[CoffmanStarter]

Have a good one Smudge

[Dougie M]

Resupply

I'm afraid that unless Smuj finds himself in unlikely spots like Lochindorb, Craiganour or Shaggie Burn he won't get any resupply of English provisions.
Advice. Don't try the deep fried mars bar!

[CoffmanStarter]

Shaggie Burn

I hope that's not contagious

[smujsmith]

Doug,

Thanks for that update, I fell back on the stashes at Aberlour and Glen Grant today, the rations seemed to have kept quite well for 16 and 12 year old "scran". Thank goodness Mrs Smudge qualified as a B Class driver all those years ago. I must get that little red book thing changed for a modern one though. A local day tomorrow, with the Glen Moray reserve stash being the target. Have faith lads, Sturgeon will not deprive an ex GE of nourishment.

Smudge

[Dougie M]

Shaggie Burn

One Scottac, TALCE couldn't find an airman from SHQ to help out on the DZ so I was introduced to a 6ft tall WRAF netball player. She's very fit said Ksimboy. We went to the Moulin Inn at Pitlochry and changed for dinner. All heads turned as we went into the bar. I said we were to be on first name terms, no rank. The hotel had its own brewery and when it was her round I asked for a Broadsword (and wished I had one). She got to the bar then turned and said "What was it you wanted, Sir" A hush descended and an old Jock on the next table said "Your call, Laddie"

[ksimboy]

I had to do something to avoid the wrath of Dougie, after the previous job he helped me out with involved living in tents and NBC suits carrying guns while doing an exercise involving the AARCC. Neither of the 2 reservists who helped on that one were best pleased, in fact L*s P**is may have been described as a tad on the grumpy side!!

[ancientaviator62]

I knew Les P for many years (he was also my neighbour in Sherston) and he was always a tad grumpy. But then he would no doubt say the same about me !

[Dougie M]

Winter Camping

L**? Grumpy? Oh Yes.
"Go to Germany" said TALCE. "Have a hire car, you'll be in the Paderborn area" he said." You can have a night stop somewhere nice each way" he said. Got to be good.
First bit of grumpiness was at Folkestone when the customs wanted to stop L** from taking his survival knife on the Catamaran. "Do you think I'm going to stab the hull? Etc."
When we got to Sennelager we found out we were in tents, surrounded by barbed wire out on the tank range. And our stash of wine was in the hire car outside the wire.

[Dougie M]

ARRC

So we quickly found out that Europe couldn't field an army together as long as they spoke different languages. The French and Italians insisted on a bar. The Brits went loopy about alc and weapons but there we were. "How much for a glass of wine my man?" "two euros sir." And how much for a bottle?" "Still two euros sir" "we'll have two bottles then!"
Tableau of L** and I in full combat rig with webbing and helmets sitting at a folding table in a tent in the forest and in the snow with L**' telescopic picnic cups and a bottle of wine each. Several later we had to negotiate the tents guy ropes in the dark back to ours. Was it 24 or 42?
Next day when the German colonel demanded all 60 R.A.F. Hercs to carry his Panzer Grenadiers to the strip (Exercise, exercise, exercise ) he was told by L**. "Look here Hans, you can have just six. Tell him Doug"
"Sorry about that colonel. The strip is only big enough for one a/c to off load so we plan on one here loading, two on route, one on the ground and two on the way back"
"and all your invasion army will be there in 4hours and 15 minutes" Said L**
We were known as the old winos after that.
Our General declared the whole SNAFU an unqualified success at the end. I still bear the mental scars.

[CoffmanStarter]

Another marvelous story Doug ... Mind you that 'Top Table' looks a tad serious ... Especially the chap far left

[ksimboy]

Just to clear up the acronyms (particularly for the more mature readers), TALCE was the next generation JAOC. The latter was predominantly stood up when we had the airborne exercises with 5AB or 16AAB. Initially the RAF side was manned by personnel unable to fly on the exercise, whereas the Army had a permanent staff (including a totally hatstand major!). After 2 such exercises in close proximity, I made the unwise suggestion that we did the same as the army for continuity purposes, leaving the same staff in JAOC for a year. Yet another crap idea I had!!! On one exercise the 38 gp Tac At W/C turned up and announced he was unhappy with what we were telling the Army what JAOC stood for (just another ops cockup ) so he was changing the name to TALCE . His spots were in danger of exploding when after approx 40 seconds we informed the 7RHA boss that stood for "totally apathetic loadmasters controlling everything" . Explanation done, now back to the stories please!

[Dougie M]

EXERCISE AARCADE FUSION

A final word on the Allied Rapid Response Corps is that it isn't. All the "Allies" have different weapons, transport, armour and provisions. The rifles and artillery are of a different calibre and all services have differing SOPs so interoperability is hampered.
After stating this in the "Wine Bar" and only as the opinion of volunteer reserve officers (We had convinced the Europeans that L**'s Masters badge was General in the Air Force) We were given time off for good behaviour and were asked to leave before the final wash up.
We haven't been asked back.

[smujsmith]

Sounds like a good result to me Doug, I well remember being sent to an IALCE ? At Corlu in Turkey. The plan was that we lived in tents for the two week push to take and hold an airhead, and extract EU nationals. Day one, someone had the presence of mind to bring a health safety monitor, who sampled the sand that covered every surface of the mess facility, including the food. He stated he had never seen such a high contamination of salmonella and other "big words" ( be kind, I was a GE). The Det Com was a S/Ldr Sean C, of UKMAMS, who immediately moved us to a local 5 star hotel, with a casino and free food on offer (Vegas style). A most splendid trip, though "the boss" managed to roll a Land Rover during our stay. Now, Ksimboy, acronyms ? I'm still not sure what RAF means !!!!!

Smudge

[isaneng]

So many names, so many memories.
Smuj, you fell out of your hammock on a far east trip, in light turb, and only a liberal application of 'medication', (your own DF medication, we weren't that daft..) calmed you down.
Dougie M, we flew many a trip together, both main and other.

Let's face it, as a group we had some right plonkers. But we also had some real stars, gents I was fortunate to learn from, both professionally and otherwise. I still Eng, one of a rapidly diminishing number, but the memories (mostly) make me smile.

To old friends, both present and absent, best wishes,

R

[smujsmith]

isaneng, fell out of my hammock young fellah ? Crikey, a court martial offence for a GE, I have to say, I can't remember doing that, so the medicine must have been effective. You are spot on correct that those who toured the planet on the wings of the C130K were a mixed, but usually agreeable bunch, and whatever age we all are, our memories of those times are usually fond ones. Best to you too, and keep clocking the air miles !!!!

Smudge

[WE992]

In all my travels I never actually fell out apart from when the rope from the pole to the roof above the ramp snapped. Thankfully it was at the end furthest away from my head.

[smujsmith]

WE992,

My sympathies on your rope breaking, as you say, at the foot end of the hammock is probably the best result. I always employed a double lashing tape arrangement, with a slack line (no load) allowing a 2 inch or so drop should the primary support fail As for falling out of my hammock on a Far East trip, I only did two in 6 years as a GE, and we rigged stretchers on both for our transit. I think that at one point during my time as a GE we had three Smudge Smith GEs, so maybe isaneng is confusing me with one of the others. My two Far East extraviganza's were in the company firstly of Doug M, and secondly R4H, no hammock rigged during voyage. Either way, unless you were a pilot, with a nice view of where you were going, Albert airways was best enjoyed from the comfort of a hammock, and a green maggot, above the ramp.

Now gentlemen, having wandered around the town we are staying in, in Bonnie Scotland, Mrs Smudge asked me tonight why I have a habit of sitting in a perfectly satisfactory ale house, and "get the urge" to up and went somewhere else, on foot! I used the words ASCOT shuffle on her, and then attempted to explain the principle of "a cab saved is another beer", whilst allowing the Nav to direct a ground transit could often deprive us of several

Back to a good Broadband signal soon, though I am enjoying "being down route" !!!

Smudge

[isaneng]

Smudge, sure it was you, but standing by to be corrected. Sep of '90. We went to Colombo. R**** E******* as skipper. Forget why we went, but surprising at the time as we were mostly busy elsewhere.....