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ATC Issues A place where pilots may enter the 'lions den' that is Air Traffic Control in complete safety and find out the answers to all those obscure topics which you always wanted to know the answer to but were afraid to ask.


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Old 10th August 2002, 13:59   #121 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: An Orange Grove in the countryside
Age: 57
Posts: 93
Another story with a WW2 theme
Heard this whilst working at LATCC many years ago.
A JAL DC8 inbound to EGLL having great difficulty navigating to beacons and VOR'S eventually gives up and asks for radar steers to BOV. Unknown American accent chips in with "How the hell did they ever find Pearl Harbour"?
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Old 10th August 2002, 14:18   #122 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: preston
Posts: 435
from the gutersloh line book. tower to visiting bea viscount(this was in 73) are you familiar with gutersloh? the reply was "i was hrer in 43 but i didnt stop"
also from frankfurt, usaf c130"can you ask the lufthansa 747 in front of us to come up on 130.9" lufthansa 747"we dont use unauthorised frequencies" usaf c130"tower in that case can you inform him hes still got all his undercarraige locks in!"
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Old 12th August 2002, 11:40   #123 (permalink)
Alba Gu Brath
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Merseyside
Age: 41
Posts: 558
Canberra

Any idea if the GUT linebook survived the pongo's takeover. Should be placed in a museum that book.
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Old 12th August 2002, 16:36   #124 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: sydney,nsw,oz
Posts: 7
On Sydney Gound not too long ago (most QANTAS aircraft are named after OZ ctiies or towns):

Ground: EAL give way to 767 city of Bundaberg outbound.
EAL: Roger
Ground: OGM your number one to the city of Geelong, taxy to holding point...
OGM: Roger, you've got good eyes!
Ground: Yeah, and I can see the gestures you're making at the tower.
OGM: It's not me, it's the bloke sitting next to me!
Ground: The one with the bad haircut?
OGM: Yeah.
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Old 12th August 2002, 23:24   #125 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Location: Suffolk
Age: 51
Posts: 98
Cool
Heard today on the RT:
Frenchperson - '....leaving your fragrancy...'
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Old 13th August 2002, 14:29   #126 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: 22.5 parallel
Posts: 44
Today at Dubai Arrivals:

ARR. A/C XXX, slow down 250
A/C Slow down 250 XXX and ,eh, what made you slow us down?
ARR. You did.


A.V.
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Old 13th August 2002, 18:50   #127 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: preston
Posts: 435
gut logbook
i left gut in 85! but dont forget that theres still an raf atc presence. the army wanted to keep the airfield open for the timmys but they forgot to tell the raf untill it was too late!
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Old 13th August 2002, 23:12   #128 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: SE UK
Posts: 69
Cool
Before my time but part of LGW legend:

Posh Pilot - "CFE8086 approaching taxiway 2" (but with at least 200m to run)

Northern ATCO - "Well keep on bloody approaching then!"

And the same guy having slighlty miscalculated a deprture gap...

"Take off quickly. Fly slowly!"
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Old 15th August 2002, 18:30   #129 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: UK
Posts: 287
GMC: Taxi stand xy

Pilot: Taxi stand xy. Any route?

GMC: Just stay off the grass...
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Old 16th August 2002, 08:30   #130 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Dubai
Posts: 74
One of the controllers here occasionally says (off the frequency) when there is a whining pilot on the frequency :

"Would you like some cheese to go with that w(h)ine sir?"

AND

How about the slip of the tounge on Arrivals (me).

"XYZ123, Cleared ILS APP RWY 30L report likeloser established"

the next 6 or 7 aircraft all readback "LIKELOSER established"

Seemed funny at the time though !!
Last edited by Standard_Departure : 16th August 2002 at 08:35.
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Old 16th August 2002, 21:53   #131 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: south coast Bournemouth Area
Posts: 15
Cool Loaded Magazine
Hello All

Look in the back pages of loaded in amongst the porn numbers and the cannabis growing kit is an advert for NATS
And in my inbox the afternoon an offical appology
now that's ATC Humour

MM
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Old 17th August 2002, 22:34   #132 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LSZH
Posts: 26
slip of the tongue...
the ones which still happen to me are:

hotel rolf gomeo (golf romeo...) and the classical "slide glope". but only when i'm really overstressed.

and last week heard twice a heading 365 in atc-sim . and in one, a fellow blipdriver read it back

cheers
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Old 18th August 2002, 00:09   #133 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: By here now in a minute
Posts: 122
Heard at Eastleigh:

"Navy Swordfish solent - report your a/c type"

After being told the local standby is for an RT fail a/c - "Tower fire 1 - once landed can you ask the a/c to contact us on 121.6"
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Old 18th August 2002, 17:52   #134 (permalink)
Beady Eye
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: The sunny English Riviera.
Posts: 1,268
Just recalled this gem from the aforementioned cockney wide boy whilst serving at the Gut.

Two French mirages in the circuit, first lands and the second is too tight behind, told to go round. Next approach, told to go round again to which he replies "Ev I 'ave to go 'round again I 'ave to jump out!" Quick as a flash our hero replies "Roger, understand you're fuel priority......."
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Old 19th August 2002, 02:32   #135 (permalink)
pom
 
Join Date: Sep 1998
Location: UK
Posts: 188
and of course ....

Virgin with a tight slot .......
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Old 19th August 2002, 09:01   #136 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: a much greener place
Age: 48
Posts: 462
Talking
quite a while ago in Perth West OZ.....

ATC...long and complete bollocking a pilot for unauthorized level change...

unknown pilot...Perth, do you have another frequency for us that we can use?

ATC...why?

Unknown...theres a p1ssed off tone on this one!
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Old 19th August 2002, 12:52   #137 (permalink)

Mess Your Passage
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Temporarily Unaware......
Age: 10
Posts: 307
A somewhat overloaded controller famous for going into " Standby " mode at peak times

A/C Twr G-xxxx

ATC Standby shutdown will call you back in five mins

A/C But im over the marina..................
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Old 19th August 2002, 13:50   #138 (permalink)
jaw
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Shrewsbury
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Im not sure how it got there but the Gutersloh Line Book resides in the ATCEB HQ - welcome any time.
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Old 22nd August 2002, 00:34   #139 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
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Posts: 74
Apparently Scottish worked a plane last tuesday
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Old 22nd August 2002, 01:34   #140 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Brisbane Australia
Posts: 6
Smile
Tower controller (procedural station, running out of answers) to lightie approaching overhead the VOR on aid work:

"Juliet Echo Mike, maintain five thousand, track visually north of the 360 radial!"


LLZe
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