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Virgin Atlantic to lay-off up to 105 pilots

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Virgin Atlantic to lay-off up to 105 pilots

Old 4th Sep 2009, 11:33
  #1 (permalink)  
I've only made a few posts so I don't feel the need to order a Personal Title and help support PPRuNe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 207
Devil Virgin Atlantic to lay-off up to 105 pilots

Latest leak from VS HQ; how management arrived at the necessary numbers:

Overheard in The Office:

"OK, So how many pilots do you want to sack this time round?".
"I was thinking maybe a hundred?".
"You what? A Hundred! Are you mad? You can't do that!"
"Why not? We need to get rid of a lot of them for..you know - the 'savings' ".
"Let me re-phrase it - You can't SAY a hundred".
"Why not?".
"Because it's a round number, you idiot. Last time was bad enough. 30 was awfully round. Saying 100 just looks like you've plucked a number out of the air".
"Well I have."
"But you can't. It doesn't work like that. Don't you read women's magazines?"
"Hang on. Let me dig this out. See - look at this cover - '34 ways to brighten your toilet. The 17 best pillow cases. 127 Sex Tips for Working Mums'. All those numbers look like they've been thought over, not just made up to fill space."
"We can't sack 127, even Shit-for-brains will object to that".
"OK. Then think of a smaller number, nearer 100".
"NO NO NO! Christ's sake!"
"What's wrong with that?"
"It's a prime number, you cretin. Christ, didn't you learn anything at business school?"
"I didn't got to business school remember? And what's wrong with primes?"
"They're just wrong OK? I don't want to discuss it".
"Even number. Duh".
"Getting better. Yes I like that number. Plus it's the product of three primes: 3,5 and 7 so they all cancel out".
"Cancel what out?"
"The prime thing."
"You are seriously fked up, you know that? OK, 105 it is . That'll help with the "savings" . More caviar?".
"Can't. Since She left me for Him, I've been on a diet".
"Really? Doesn't show".
"fk off".
cargo boy is offline  
Old 4th Sep 2009, 14:03
  #2 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 515
They wouldn't know what prime numbers are.

They wouldn't know what Business school is, let alone admit to not going.

Sadly, Virgin is run by people at the higher levels who don't really share in the "Virgin" values.

The arrogant assumption is that those who either leave voluntarily (sabbaticals or career break), or those forced out involuntarily will somehow actually want to return to "man the pumps" when the Emperor (with no clothes) clicks his fingers is staggeringly stupid.

I am glad I left. I'm looking forward to having their cash in my bank.
stansdead is offline  
Old 4th Sep 2009, 14:17
  #3 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2008
Location: europe
Posts: 89
I never heard Muttly swear. (no longer there)
Now "The best of the Best" He would be kissing something else ( A van or another name) so unable to swear

Shame He doesn't take the offer.
TckVs is offline  
Old 4th Sep 2009, 14:49
  #4 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 4,011
cargo boy, did it not occur to you it might not be advisable to put a fictitious headline like that on a joke posting for a variety of reasons?
Rainboe is offline  
Old 4th Sep 2009, 15:17
  #5 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 515

Sadly, there is nothing fictitious in the thread title.

Virgin Atlantic will have removed 105 Pilots from it's Seniority List by the end of this round of redundancies.

And up to 39 Captains may be demoted in that figure too.

It's not the place it once was.
stansdead is offline  
Old 4th Sep 2009, 17:27
  #6 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Samsonite Avenue
Posts: 1,498
Blimey - they are being creative aren't they?

And up to 39 Captains may be demoted in that figure too.
Mister Geezer is offline  
Old 4th Sep 2009, 18:59
  #7 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Cloud 9
Posts: 89
Rainboe - chill - it made me chuckle, and I'm one of the 105
GA Button is offline  

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