You know you're on the Subcontinent when....
Wow! I didn't realize there were so many sensitive Indian folk out there.
- When a NOTAM mentions "recarpetting" (sic).
-Continuous light chop from coast to coast at night (something to do with diet?)
-Confirm your confirmation of a confirmed and conformed with confirmation - confirm?
-Expedite.... everything!
-Talking to ATC that don't even appear on the charts...Mangalor
-Listening to ATC issue instructions at 150% of your personal capacity of comprehension.
-The guy cutting grass next to the taxiway taking a dump.
-Going around due dog.
-Hold position due dog.
-Hold position due airport worker wandering home.
-Being given a final ZFW that is three tonnes less than the actual ZFW.
-Carbon paper between all paper work in the flight deck.
halas
- When a NOTAM mentions "recarpetting" (sic).
-Continuous light chop from coast to coast at night (something to do with diet?)
-Confirm your confirmation of a confirmed and conformed with confirmation - confirm?
-Expedite.... everything!
-Talking to ATC that don't even appear on the charts...Mangalor
-Listening to ATC issue instructions at 150% of your personal capacity of comprehension.
-The guy cutting grass next to the taxiway taking a dump.
-Going around due dog.
-Hold position due dog.
-Hold position due airport worker wandering home.
-Being given a final ZFW that is three tonnes less than the actual ZFW.
-Carbon paper between all paper work in the flight deck.
halas
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When a police 4 x 4 is carrying out a 3-point turn on a busy road, cars banked up, and no horns of course. Cop driver on the Mobil throughout the whole manoeuvre, and not one seat belt worn among the 3 souls on board, all cops.
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Aircraft on freq with stuck mike, of course you can talk over them, I hear:
Indian accent pilot - "Aircraft with stuck mike this is captain of AI101 your mike is stuck we cant talk"
American accent pilot - "Ya know he cant hear you as he has a stuck mike"
Indian accent pilot - "Kolkata this is AI101, there is an aircraft with a stuck mike please have them reported immediately as we cannot give RT to you"
Kolkata - AI101 Rog we are aware of this
....... and these guys are captains!
Indian accent pilot - "Aircraft with stuck mike this is captain of AI101 your mike is stuck we cant talk"
American accent pilot - "Ya know he cant hear you as he has a stuck mike"
Indian accent pilot - "Kolkata this is AI101, there is an aircraft with a stuck mike please have them reported immediately as we cannot give RT to you"
Kolkata - AI101 Rog we are aware of this
....... and these guys are captains!
When you are taxiing out at VECC and a worker is walking across the tarmac talking on his phone.
All the ground staff (about 12 people) start shouting, waving and chasing him around, he runs around in circles like a headless chicken before disappearing into the long grass and squatting down so he can't be seen.
LMAO
All the ground staff (about 12 people) start shouting, waving and chasing him around, he runs around in circles like a headless chicken before disappearing into the long grass and squatting down so he can't be seen.
LMAO
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"All the ground staff (about 12 people) start shouting, waving and chasing him around, he runs around in circles like a headless chicken before disappearing into the long grass and squatting down so he can't be seen."
ROJ
LOL...... in splits, all night long picturising the scene....
how did you manage to fly?
ROJ
LOL...... in splits, all night long picturising the scene....
how did you manage to fly?
Thread Starter
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Dhaka.... nice service minded plp
In early 80'ties we (wife and I) had a 18 hours stop over in Dhaka (just built Shahjalal Airport) before ongoing flight, turist information nowhere to be seen, so we ask friendly immigration guy if he know decent hotel near?
He laid a hand on my shoulder, looked straight into my eyes and said with softened voice :
"No no Mister, no need going town its far
and hotel also very exspensivel. Up the stairs here is a unused depature lounge with chairs and ac. You can stay, no problem. And if you need beer or 'wine', use taxfree.... I've the boy show you both. Also I'll get you some blankets for the night." (maybe I tought, he opened like his own Hotel Dhaka Airport....?)
Passing the fairly well assorted tax-free shop, I was relieved to see the long wait, could be shortened with some Heineken brew and Finnish liquorice.
Upstairs was a huge lounge lights on, fully furnitured big soft chairs/sofas (!) thick wall to wall carpet and not a single soul. Excellent!
After some furniture rearrangement in our new 2500 sq feet room, I went for a six-pack + liquorice, Toblerone + Coke for the she.
Just finished first can, when the immigration guy came with blankets..... and to hear if needed anything more. Food I asked...it was late now he explainded so only plastic wrapped s/w. We accepted...nice hospitable plp, I thought.
He returned with the food (nothing to write home about, but food never the less)
I offered him a beer which he - after looking over both shoulders, multo gracias then explaining that he was not allowed to drink when at work, but he will enjoy later.
The beer disappeared within the baggy bengali pants ....
After a while and hesitating a little, he said :
"Can you do me a small favour, Sir"
Me: "How can I help?"
"Can you buy six beer in taxfree shop, I give you one. I'm not allowed to buy" he said, while discretely slide dollar bills into my jeans pocket.
Me: "No problem..give me five minutes"
Down the shop me just put up a big smile and a 'oh yes' to the comment:
"You must be very thisty, Mister!"
I handed over the 'treasure' to the bengali, now with a big smile after the compulsive look over shoulder. After loosening all the cans and hand over my part of the contrabande, they were arranged one in jacket and 4 with duct tape unto his legs (!) perfectly camuflaged by the loose baggy clothing.....(one in the jacket prbl backsish to 'some')
About an hour passed then my friend came back. Didn't take me many
seconds to know that he wanted another favour done: His friends was having a party and bla bla.....
No prob. Me down the dead escalator to the 'filling station'.
When I handed $ 6 to the guy behind counter, he wasn't smiling. The end of our scam? A mole among us...disturbing thoughts
he's looked like the CO of AA branch Dhaka when he said:
This is the last S/P I can sell you....(by the look of his face, in his mind I have had enough) Or muslim fundamentalist? Bad luck ...for my beer runner!
Upstairs my friend, after I told him to depressing news, calmly adjusted to the new situation. Tomorrow morning we will eat genuin bengali fish curry at the staff canteen.
3 beers saved for the occation....
Nice stay and great food with the staff et al. the next day. It turned out that my friend never drank these imported beer, hardly touched booze at all. It was 'only' a money thing - the Heineken sold for 3-5 buck outside.
He laid a hand on my shoulder, looked straight into my eyes and said with softened voice :
"No no Mister, no need going town its far
and hotel also very exspensivel. Up the stairs here is a unused depature lounge with chairs and ac. You can stay, no problem. And if you need beer or 'wine', use taxfree.... I've the boy show you both. Also I'll get you some blankets for the night." (maybe I tought, he opened like his own Hotel Dhaka Airport....?)
Passing the fairly well assorted tax-free shop, I was relieved to see the long wait, could be shortened with some Heineken brew and Finnish liquorice.
Upstairs was a huge lounge lights on, fully furnitured big soft chairs/sofas (!) thick wall to wall carpet and not a single soul. Excellent!
After some furniture rearrangement in our new 2500 sq feet room, I went for a six-pack + liquorice, Toblerone + Coke for the she.
Just finished first can, when the immigration guy came with blankets..... and to hear if needed anything more. Food I asked...it was late now he explainded so only plastic wrapped s/w. We accepted...nice hospitable plp, I thought.
He returned with the food (nothing to write home about, but food never the less)
I offered him a beer which he - after looking over both shoulders, multo gracias then explaining that he was not allowed to drink when at work, but he will enjoy later.
The beer disappeared within the baggy bengali pants ....
After a while and hesitating a little, he said :
"Can you do me a small favour, Sir"
Me: "How can I help?"
"Can you buy six beer in taxfree shop, I give you one. I'm not allowed to buy" he said, while discretely slide dollar bills into my jeans pocket.
Me: "No problem..give me five minutes"
Down the shop me just put up a big smile and a 'oh yes' to the comment:
"You must be very thisty, Mister!"
I handed over the 'treasure' to the bengali, now with a big smile after the compulsive look over shoulder. After loosening all the cans and hand over my part of the contrabande, they were arranged one in jacket and 4 with duct tape unto his legs (!) perfectly camuflaged by the loose baggy clothing.....(one in the jacket prbl backsish to 'some')
About an hour passed then my friend came back. Didn't take me many
seconds to know that he wanted another favour done: His friends was having a party and bla bla.....
No prob. Me down the dead escalator to the 'filling station'.
When I handed $ 6 to the guy behind counter, he wasn't smiling. The end of our scam? A mole among us...disturbing thoughts
he's looked like the CO of AA branch Dhaka when he said:
This is the last S/P I can sell you....(by the look of his face, in his mind I have had enough) Or muslim fundamentalist? Bad luck ...for my beer runner!
Upstairs my friend, after I told him to depressing news, calmly adjusted to the new situation. Tomorrow morning we will eat genuin bengali fish curry at the staff canteen.
3 beers saved for the occation....
Nice stay and great food with the staff et al. the next day. It turned out that my friend never drank these imported beer, hardly touched booze at all. It was 'only' a money thing - the Heineken sold for 3-5 buck outside.
Last edited by fhegner; 4th Jul 2010 at 00:43.
