Pre checkride words of wisdom

"dont F#ck it up"

During pinn/confined area operations doing low reacon on approach talking about forced landing areas.

"and riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight NOW were F#cked"

More sayings from engineers I've worked with when presented with a snag list.
"Let it develop" or "See what happens, it may heal itself":suspect:

Currency does NOT mean proficiency! :ugh:

When a prang seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity, as slowly and gently as possible.
– (advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II.)

Never fly anything that involves using your arse as an undercarriage.... :ooh:

My father's standard opening line when he was instructing on helicopters in the 60s:

"There are 25 instruments in front of you, and the only one you can trust is the clock."

When it's all going horribly wrong and there's nothing else you can do, then unstrap, drop your trousers and stick your thumb up your bum. At least then you'll have one good fingerprint for the identification.


The only time you've got too much fuel is when you're on fire.

From 161 Recce Sqn (about 10 years ago)

"Take no passengers!"

Ahh I love some of the pilot sayings, particularly the pessimistic ones....

This is particularly for fixed wingers.

"In a twin engined aircraft, in the event of one engine failure, the remaining engine will fly you to the scene of the accident"


Refering to the interesting handling characteritics of some light twins when an engine fails...

Hehe.

Rather heated volleyball game in Timor after a long day of flying. Ross, "There's no 'i' in team Seve". Seve, "True Ross, but there is a 'u' in c-nt" :p

From my structures professor at Southampton University:-

An aerodynamicist is capable of assuming absolutely anything.... except for responsibility



From the pilot of the first FJ I ever flew in:-

In the event that the aircraft is unrecoverable, I will call "Eject Eject Eject". Not wishing to hurry you, I'll not pull my own handle until the second "E", so you have the first "E" and the "J" in which to comply. If you don't wait for me, that's fine and we can discuss it on the ground.



Anonymous

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father, not screaming in terror like his passengers



Also anonymous, but at least rotary...

The basic problem with helicopter operations is that tailrotors don't work very well in anything denser than air

G

You know when you've landed with the gear up; you need full power to get to the terminal

:E

Weather's closing in...do I go?
 

I'd rather be down here wishing I was up there...

...than up there wishing I was down here.

You can tell an airline pilot
by the spread across his rear end
You can tell a navigator
by his sextants, maps and such,
You can tell a chopper pilot
by his nervous tics and twitches,
You can tell a fighter pilot -


but you can't tell him much.

Keep an eye on it, if it gets any worse give me a ring

Be careful who you tell this one too………
 

Looping a helicopter is probably like anal sex………….
It’s no doubt great……I just don’t want to do it. :O

I was once told by an old QFI/QWI when he was teaching tactics;

"Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill!"

Rules and procedures.. the last hiding place for those without the wit and wisdom to actually do their F:mad: G job!

If God had not meant man to fly, he would have never placed a stick between his legs.

Avnx EO,

Maybe God meant for men and woman to fly. He provided this stick for jump takeoffs. :D :D

http://www.unicopter.com/JumpTakeoff2.gif