Do you believe in Santa??
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Lost in thought
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Do you believe in Santa??
Most people think Santa Claus does not exist…. But the truth is he simply gave up on delivering gifts for the following reasons:
10: FAA would not grant a gross weight exemption for the full payload of toys carried.
9: Could not determine a practical conversion of “reindeer power” to SI units for EASA certification.
8: Could not get 337 installation approval one foggy Christmas Eve for a forward looking infra-red system (known as Rudolf). Also failed to provide adjusted performance data for increased reindeer power associated with said mod.
7: Unauthorized use of said Rudolf infra-red system for pilotage in IMC as opposed to required instruments. Failed to substantiate single pilot IFR human factors assessment using new equipment installation.
6: Sued by Eurocopter for patent infringement on sled gear design.
5: Issued an airspace violation for delivering in Dallas Highland Park due to Bush residence TFR.
4: Was told to either remove reindeer antlers due to wire strike risk or convert all reindeer to Bristol STC.
3: Obama-government proposed general aviation fees based on number of landings would be a killer.
2: Dissimilarity advocates on the SAE committees wanted at least 3 reindeer changed to horses or donkeys.
1: Landed at Government offices once and found sled towed by security.
Merry Christmas?
10: FAA would not grant a gross weight exemption for the full payload of toys carried.
9: Could not determine a practical conversion of “reindeer power” to SI units for EASA certification.
8: Could not get 337 installation approval one foggy Christmas Eve for a forward looking infra-red system (known as Rudolf). Also failed to provide adjusted performance data for increased reindeer power associated with said mod.
7: Unauthorized use of said Rudolf infra-red system for pilotage in IMC as opposed to required instruments. Failed to substantiate single pilot IFR human factors assessment using new equipment installation.
6: Sued by Eurocopter for patent infringement on sled gear design.
5: Issued an airspace violation for delivering in Dallas Highland Park due to Bush residence TFR.
4: Was told to either remove reindeer antlers due to wire strike risk or convert all reindeer to Bristol STC.
3: Obama-government proposed general aviation fees based on number of landings would be a killer.
2: Dissimilarity advocates on the SAE committees wanted at least 3 reindeer changed to horses or donkeys.
1: Landed at Government offices once and found sled towed by security.
Merry Christmas?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Galway
Age: 37
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Santa's checkride
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He check the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He check the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
Don't know about the real Santa but out here in Cyprus this morning, after losing one of two 412s due to a tech defect, a choice had to be made.
There were two tasking lines scheduled for this morning....one delivering five Santas around the local area, the other task for the local regiment.
Soldiers or Santas?
The choice was made........Santas
A trooping task can always be rescheduled.... Santa cannot!
