What's the most stupid thing you've done as a pilot?
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
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Radio check please?
212- That made me chuckle. Was visualizing that!!
There's a few things that I could mention, however, the humiliation would kill me.
However, remember my student days putting on my headphones, calling the tower, then wondering why ther're not hearing me! Radio was on, squelch set ok, right freq, speaking loudly into headphones, nope there working, what the hell!!
Shut down, then realised I had plugged headset into the wrong jacks, it was in one of the passenger jacks!
Problem corrected, pleasant flight had....
There's a few things that I could mention, however, the humiliation would kill me.
However, remember my student days putting on my headphones, calling the tower, then wondering why ther're not hearing me! Radio was on, squelch set ok, right freq, speaking loudly into headphones, nope there working, what the hell!!
Shut down, then realised I had plugged headset into the wrong jacks, it was in one of the passenger jacks!
Problem corrected, pleasant flight had....
On an especially hot day in Northern California, I put down 2 liters of bottled water before climbing into a C172 for a trip to visit a friend of mine about 300 miles away. Now, this 172 had a bit of a rigging issue which was known around the club - one needed a goodly amount of left pedal at all times to keep the old girl from trying to swap ends in flight, which was a bit tiresome over the long haul but certainly manageable.
Manageable, that is, until the water ran through my system and demanded release. So here I am at 4,000 feet with a half-liter narrow-neck water bottle in one hand, the yoke in the other, and I can't remove my left foot from the rudder pedal. As if this wasn't bad enough, my long legs demanded that I reach down to trip the seat release to gain enough room for the gymnastics required to put Tab A into Slot B, as it were.
The 172 seats, as you may know, slide waaaaaay back into the passenger compartment, on short notice, which makes keeping a foot on the rudder pedals sort of impossible.
The resultant near-roll and mess in the cockpit taught me a very valuable lesson about making a trip to the head before departure. I shudder to think what the accident investigation board would have found after picking through the wreckage...
Manageable, that is, until the water ran through my system and demanded release. So here I am at 4,000 feet with a half-liter narrow-neck water bottle in one hand, the yoke in the other, and I can't remove my left foot from the rudder pedal. As if this wasn't bad enough, my long legs demanded that I reach down to trip the seat release to gain enough room for the gymnastics required to put Tab A into Slot B, as it were.
The 172 seats, as you may know, slide waaaaaay back into the passenger compartment, on short notice, which makes keeping a foot on the rudder pedals sort of impossible.
The resultant near-roll and mess in the cockpit taught me a very valuable lesson about making a trip to the head before departure. I shudder to think what the accident investigation board would have found after picking through the wreckage...
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Frictions on
I began my training in November as a SPL(H) and by Christmas had progressed to hovering lessons
While nursing a mild hangover during the holiday period Christmas/NewYear
as one does, I received a phone call one morning from my instructor
informing me that he was at the airfield all by himself and would I like to come out and join him for a lesson -- why not I thought and I said I'd be there in an hour.
Moving swiftly along we got airborn and as you all know how easy it is to hover in the begining
After 20-30 mins or so of sweating (alcohol) and wondering why I was performing like my first ever hovering lesson and struggling so much with the controls and decided that this aint working
Instructor agreed and we said we would call it a day, so hovered back to the helipad (badly) and set it down.
Once we were on the ground I quickly descovered the problem -
Frictions still on
Neither I nor the instructor for that matter had released the frictions before lifting off, the whole lesson was conducted with frictions on
Biggest lesson I learned that day was never ever attempt to go flying with alcohol in your system
a lesson I still standby today
Even now as an Instructor I have turned away students who turn up for lessons with the smell of drink on them with a warning that I lessons would end permanently if it happened again
Only happened a few times but there were no re-offenders
Sir Niall Dementia I know exactly how you felt
Pv
While nursing a mild hangover during the holiday period Christmas/NewYear
as one does, I received a phone call one morning from my instructor
informing me that he was at the airfield all by himself and would I like to come out and join him for a lesson -- why not I thought and I said I'd be there in an hour.
Moving swiftly along we got airborn and as you all know how easy it is to hover in the begining
After 20-30 mins or so of sweating (alcohol) and wondering why I was performing like my first ever hovering lesson and struggling so much with the controls and decided that this aint working
Instructor agreed and we said we would call it a day, so hovered back to the helipad (badly) and set it down.
Once we were on the ground I quickly descovered the problem -
Frictions still on
Neither I nor the instructor for that matter had released the frictions before lifting off, the whole lesson was conducted with frictions on
Biggest lesson I learned that day was never ever attempt to go flying with alcohol in your system
a lesson I still standby todayEven now as an Instructor I have turned away students who turn up for lessons with the smell of drink on them with a warning that I lessons would end permanently if it happened again
Only happened a few times but there were no re-offenders
Sir Niall Dementia I know exactly how you felt
Pv
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skills test
On the morning of my skills test I turned up to be told we would be flying G-whatever, a white R22, and to go and do a pre-flight check. Chief pilot said it needed fuel and to phone fuel man to fill it up. Strolled out to nearest white R22 and did full check. Just as I finished I noticed the fuel man arrive in his truck to fill up another white R22, G-something else, on next but one helipad. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my examiner walzing over to G-something else just as I was closing the checklist and thinking I'd done a good check on G-whatever, the wrong bloody heli. Examiner looked over at me, shook his head and vanished back into the office. I followed him expecting him to cancel skills test on the grounds of my stupidity, but he just tutted and said: "Come and get me when you've checked the right helicopter, it's the white one with a fuel hose sticking out of it and the letters G-something else plastered all over the side of it."
Amazingly, he passed me.
That's the silliest thing I did as a pilot. The silliest thing I did as a person was deciding to become a pilot. What I could have done with all those thousands of pounds I have blown in the sad hope I would ever make a living out of being a pro heli pilot, God only knows.
Best wishes
Sean
Amazingly, he passed me.
That's the silliest thing I did as a pilot. The silliest thing I did as a person was deciding to become a pilot. What I could have done with all those thousands of pounds I have blown in the sad hope I would ever make a living out of being a pro heli pilot, God only knows.
Best wishes
Sean
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Here's one from my early days. Not the most stupidest thing I've done, but mildly amusing.
Fresh PPL in hand, just about to take a friend up and show him what a great pilot I am. Starting up on the pad, doing the ATIS/radio gubbins. Tower come on and say "G-XXXX how do you read?". I have no idea what he's talking about (never heard that expression before on the radio). So I say "say again". He says again. I still have no idea what he's talking about. I had to ask him two further times before he said rather angrily "G-XXXX DO YOU READ ME LOUD AND CLEAR?", then the penny dropped. D'oh!
Needless to say my friend still reminds me about that to this day.
Fresh PPL in hand, just about to take a friend up and show him what a great pilot I am. Starting up on the pad, doing the ATIS/radio gubbins. Tower come on and say "G-XXXX how do you read?". I have no idea what he's talking about (never heard that expression before on the radio). So I say "say again". He says again. I still have no idea what he's talking about. I had to ask him two further times before he said rather angrily "G-XXXX DO YOU READ ME LOUD AND CLEAR?", then the penny dropped. D'oh!
Needless to say my friend still reminds me about that to this day.
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I was due to take an instrument checkride on one of those bumpy Alabama afternoons where the CB's pop and there are lots of thermals to keep your cross check from slowing down.
In spite of the turbulence, I flew one of those rare days where all the gauges seem to be glued in place. Every maneuver was letter perfect. I was on a roll, there was nothing I could do wrong.
We hovered back to the spot, and the SIP started filling out the slip. "You always seem prepared, candidate," he said. "I think you are ahead of the aircraft at every turn," he continued as he turned to glance at me with a surprised look on his face.
Then he said, "Its a shame you never fastened your seat or shoulder belts!"
In spite of the turbulence, I flew one of those rare days where all the gauges seem to be glued in place. Every maneuver was letter perfect. I was on a roll, there was nothing I could do wrong.
We hovered back to the spot, and the SIP started filling out the slip. "You always seem prepared, candidate," he said. "I think you are ahead of the aircraft at every turn," he continued as he turned to glance at me with a surprised look on his face.
Then he said, "Its a shame you never fastened your seat or shoulder belts!"
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In no particular order:
1) Teach night unaided touchdown autorotations.
2) Allowed my ex-boss to take us IMC in 206B.
3) Got in a hurry when refueling, cranked up, took off, flew across the airport, entered the traffic pattern, landed, did another traffic pattern and then wondered who the gas cap belonged to that was sitting on the helipad.
Probably a whole bunch of other stuff, but can't remember them right now. (thankfully)
1) Teach night unaided touchdown autorotations.
2) Allowed my ex-boss to take us IMC in 206B.
3) Got in a hurry when refueling, cranked up, took off, flew across the airport, entered the traffic pattern, landed, did another traffic pattern and then wondered who the gas cap belonged to that was sitting on the helipad.
Probably a whole bunch of other stuff, but can't remember them right now. (thankfully)
1) Bell 47 in Egypt , fuel van is driving along with window open ...i fly down side of road , stick end of boom through window and give him a squirt , he brakes , boom hits front of window , helicopter nearly v damaged ...
2) Bell 206 Pulling more and more pitch and helicopter just wallows around light on skids .....still at ground idle
3) 1 1/2 hr flight at night near galveston with no cockpit lights but luckily 2 smokers on board with lighters
4) Use skids to break ice on lake to let the duck in ....like whiteout but different ....
lastly hungover ,cyclic between knees ,coffee in one hand and fag in other (no not as in gay ) bird hits windshield ...luckily i think the spilt coffee put out the cigarette between my legs ..... come on , weve ALL done it !!!
2) Bell 206 Pulling more and more pitch and helicopter just wallows around light on skids .....still at ground idle
3) 1 1/2 hr flight at night near galveston with no cockpit lights but luckily 2 smokers on board with lighters
4) Use skids to break ice on lake to let the duck in ....like whiteout but different ....
lastly hungover ,cyclic between knees ,coffee in one hand and fag in other (no not as in gay ) bird hits windshield ...luckily i think the spilt coffee put out the cigarette between my legs ..... come on , weve ALL done it !!!
Pre-solo checkride at a small flight school in Texas.....about 600 helicopters in orange and white paint schemes.....preflighted....including checking the logbook...got strapped in to crank it up while Instructor Pilot finished his coffee and ciggy. Before hitting the start button....had nagging second thoughts....wanted to make sure the blade tie down was off....unstrapped and got out and walked to the rear of the aircraft.
Then I noticed the entire tail rotor and hub was not attached as it had been removed for maintenance.
Nope....not nervous...not me!
Thank goodness the IP wanted a second ciggy before coming out to fly or I would have really embarrassed!
Then I noticed the entire tail rotor and hub was not attached as it had been removed for maintenance.
Nope....not nervous...not me!
Thank goodness the IP wanted a second ciggy before coming out to fly or I would have really embarrassed!
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How about demostrating autorotations (R22) to a girl, me having less than 20 helicopter hours? Does that count?
Last edited by BlenderPilot; 28th May 2009 at 20:51.
Early sixties. The Valiant Bomber had been withdrawn from service because of the wing spars. Lots of gash bomber pilots suddenly found themselves at Tern Hill on a rotary wing course as the Air Force were short of helicopters pilots.
The basic trainer was the Bristol Sycamore. Wooden blades, supercharged radial engine, no hydraulics and manual trims for the limited authority controls. Difficult to fly and underpowered so it was the ideal helicopter trainer. After 20 or so hours mastering the difference between minus 15 to 120knots as opposed to 120 to Mach 0.9 came the night flying stage. This was fairly short and simple as the Sycamore was considered too dangerous to fly at night outside the airfield circuit. Even then you had two Schermuly flares attached to the side so that you could illuminate your crash site when you had another engine failure.
Off I went with my instructor for the 45 minutes dual. It wasn’t too bad as with the wind direction the approach was over the highly lit up prison a couple of miles from the airfield. After landing we shut down, briefed and I was detailed for 45 minute solo circuits in a different aircraft. The instructor then went home.
I had not started one at night before as the previous trip was a running change. Lots of fumbling about in the dim red and UV lighting but eventually I had it burbling away. It was apparent before I took off the weather and visibility were a lot worse than before. Once I got into the circuit it really got bad. I could hardly see the lights on the ground and if it hadn’t been for the prison lights I would not have been able to line up.
I did one full circuit, was baulked and had to overshoot on the following two. I was now totally choked off and was as the point of firing off both Schermulies, landing it in the middle of the airfield and walking away from this helicopter flying permanently. However, being a craven coward I persevered and stumbled through my 45 minutes.
After landing it on a parking spot the next solo student came out to take over my aircraft. For those that don’t know the procedure on the Sycamore the relief pilot held the cyclic steady whilst the in situ pilot slid his backside over the substantial quantities of switches, trim wheels and the odd collective lever into the left hand seat. Once this was done he would steady the left hand cyclic whilst the new pilot strapped in. Murmuring that the aircraft was OK but the weather wasn’t I got out of the left hand door. The first thing I did was to take off my helmet.
As I did so there was a thump on my nose. I lifted up my deep purple high altitude V Force visor and I could see for bloody miles.
The basic trainer was the Bristol Sycamore. Wooden blades, supercharged radial engine, no hydraulics and manual trims for the limited authority controls. Difficult to fly and underpowered so it was the ideal helicopter trainer. After 20 or so hours mastering the difference between minus 15 to 120knots as opposed to 120 to Mach 0.9 came the night flying stage. This was fairly short and simple as the Sycamore was considered too dangerous to fly at night outside the airfield circuit. Even then you had two Schermuly flares attached to the side so that you could illuminate your crash site when you had another engine failure.
Off I went with my instructor for the 45 minutes dual. It wasn’t too bad as with the wind direction the approach was over the highly lit up prison a couple of miles from the airfield. After landing we shut down, briefed and I was detailed for 45 minute solo circuits in a different aircraft. The instructor then went home.
I had not started one at night before as the previous trip was a running change. Lots of fumbling about in the dim red and UV lighting but eventually I had it burbling away. It was apparent before I took off the weather and visibility were a lot worse than before. Once I got into the circuit it really got bad. I could hardly see the lights on the ground and if it hadn’t been for the prison lights I would not have been able to line up.
I did one full circuit, was baulked and had to overshoot on the following two. I was now totally choked off and was as the point of firing off both Schermulies, landing it in the middle of the airfield and walking away from this helicopter flying permanently. However, being a craven coward I persevered and stumbled through my 45 minutes.
After landing it on a parking spot the next solo student came out to take over my aircraft. For those that don’t know the procedure on the Sycamore the relief pilot held the cyclic steady whilst the in situ pilot slid his backside over the substantial quantities of switches, trim wheels and the odd collective lever into the left hand seat. Once this was done he would steady the left hand cyclic whilst the new pilot strapped in. Murmuring that the aircraft was OK but the weather wasn’t I got out of the left hand door. The first thing I did was to take off my helmet.
As I did so there was a thump on my nose. I lifted up my deep purple high altitude V Force visor and I could see for bloody miles.
Last edited by Fareastdriver; 28th May 2009 at 15:59.
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The most stupid thing I've done / do as a pilot? It would have to be assuming the intelligence of others.
For Example: Was told my pax were waiting in the customer lounge. Introduced myself and said "Hi, you must be Shane" to the passenger. Loaded up him and his party. Just about to lift when I notice someone from the ops team waving wildly at me. Turns out they're not my pax.
Said to the guy "I thought your name was Shane", he says "No, I'm Kieth"!
Mistakes: 1. Believing the first person who told me they were my pax. 2. Believing the customer would question me if I addressed him repeatedly with the wrong name.
For Example: Was told my pax were waiting in the customer lounge. Introduced myself and said "Hi, you must be Shane" to the passenger. Loaded up him and his party. Just about to lift when I notice someone from the ops team waving wildly at me. Turns out they're not my pax.
Said to the guy "I thought your name was Shane", he says "No, I'm Kieth"!
Mistakes: 1. Believing the first person who told me they were my pax. 2. Believing the customer would question me if I addressed him repeatedly with the wrong name.
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How about demostrating autorotations (R22) to a girl with less than 20 helicopter hours? Does that count?
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: An Irish dude in Houston, TX. I miss home!!!
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1. During my student days, on one of my solo x-countrys I lifted off in the R22 with the POH sitting on top of the main fuel tank having left it with the pre-flight checklist page open while pre-flighting the main rotor. When I got back that night it was lying close to the pickup spot and was missing a few pages due to the rotor downwash ripping them out(who'd have thought the R22 downwash was strong enough to rip paper!!). Now I do one last walk around the aircraft before each flight, checking that cowl doors and fuel caps are secure and that there are no manuals where they shouldn't be.
2. 1.5 hour flight from Sacramento back to Fresno departing a half hour before sunset. It was the darkest night I have ever seen. That was until I was descending past the Fresno tower turning final for my spot I realized I still had my sunglasses on!!!
It was actually quite a nice night.
2. 1.5 hour flight from Sacramento back to Fresno departing a half hour before sunset. It was the darkest night I have ever seen. That was until I was descending past the Fresno tower turning final for my spot I realized I still had my sunglasses on!!!
It was actually quite a nice night.
Join Date: Jun 2002
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Mid-Atlantic at night: returned to ship after 4 hours ASW pinging. Luvly approach to empty deck. Deck crew came running out as I moved across deck and landed on . Passed smart-aleck comments to my crew on tardiness & pissup in brewery type behaviour. As we waited for them to lash us down, then noticed I had landed on the sister ship to the one I was supposed to land on.
Immediately lifted and skedaddled to correct ship with tail between legs................................................
Immediately lifted and skedaddled to correct ship with tail between legs................................................
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It was years ago. I was young!!! And stupid!!! Always a bad combo.
I was on the Hughes 500d on a logging show in Canada. If you decide to leave the controls with the engine at ground idle, which we did as routine in those days you have to secure the pedals. The usual way is to flip one 180 degrees so that it acts as a stop. (the pedals are spring loaded to be neutral at 100%rpm and so will set full right pedal at ground idle.)
I got the bright idea of making a u bolt into a control lock to save time. I put lots of florescent tape on it to ensure i would not forget to remove it before flight.
apparently not enough tape.
Took off into the hover, start to rotate slowly to the right, look down at pedals...................Oh cr@p!!.
A very skillful (read lucky) landing in a confined area with no pedal control followed with no harm done.
I'd rather be lucky than good.
I was on the Hughes 500d on a logging show in Canada. If you decide to leave the controls with the engine at ground idle, which we did as routine in those days you have to secure the pedals. The usual way is to flip one 180 degrees so that it acts as a stop. (the pedals are spring loaded to be neutral at 100%rpm and so will set full right pedal at ground idle.)
I got the bright idea of making a u bolt into a control lock to save time. I put lots of florescent tape on it to ensure i would not forget to remove it before flight.
apparently not enough tape.
Took off into the hover, start to rotate slowly to the right, look down at pedals...................Oh cr@p!!.
A very skillful (read lucky) landing in a confined area with no pedal control followed with no harm done.
I'd rather be lucky than good.
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The Wessex (S-58) engines are normally started with the rotorbrake on.
With both engines at idle, the brake is slowly released to a count of 1-2-3.
I was an engineer on an external intercom longlead when, the SAR pilot on a solo training flight proceeded the release the brake as quickly as possible.
The dear old Wessex (being a bit top heavy) proceeded to oscillate wildly, leaping from one main u/c wheel to the other, threatening to roll over.
I ran like hell, nearly strangling myself with the longlead in the process.
The a/c finally settled down as the rotor rpm cranked up & stabalised.
I returned & plugged into the intercom.
"WTF ?" I asked.
"I always wondered why they told you to release the rotorbrake slowly" he replied.
With both engines at idle, the brake is slowly released to a count of 1-2-3.
I was an engineer on an external intercom longlead when, the SAR pilot on a solo training flight proceeded the release the brake as quickly as possible.
The dear old Wessex (being a bit top heavy) proceeded to oscillate wildly, leaping from one main u/c wheel to the other, threatening to roll over.
I ran like hell, nearly strangling myself with the longlead in the process.
The a/c finally settled down as the rotor rpm cranked up & stabalised.
I returned & plugged into the intercom.
"WTF ?" I asked.
"I always wondered why they told you to release the rotorbrake slowly" he replied.