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Old 25th Mar 2006, 10:52
  #121 (permalink)  
 
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Nice one! lol
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Old 25th Mar 2006, 10:55
  #122 (permalink)  

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Oh, those are English North Sea Helicopter Pilots.

They're waiting for happy hour
More like, they're waiting for someone to serve dry martinis properly, Any fule no that martinis should be stirred, not shaken. James Bond got it wrong and that was Ian Fleming's joke!

Cheers

Whirls
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Old 25th Mar 2006, 11:09
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Angel

Bubba looks at his divorce lawyer, puzzled......"So yaa mean to say she's still legally my sister ?"

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Old 26th Mar 2006, 01:34
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Originally Posted by Droopy
The heliport security team

The guy in the pink shirt looks strangely familiar....
I'm pretty sure that one in the pink is our sheriff here in East Carroll parish.
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Old 26th Mar 2006, 11:47
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Bubba and Earl win a raffle

Bubba & Earl, two Gulf of Mexico helicopter pilots, were in a bar enjoying a beer on their way home when the decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.

When the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.

At the end of their break week when the guys met back in the crew quarters, Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how's that toilet brush?"

"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."

Some photos of commuting helicopter pilot's cars seen at a south Louisana heliport parking lot:






Last edited by SASless; 26th Mar 2006 at 12:33.
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Old 26th Mar 2006, 13:25
  #126 (permalink)  
 
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I saw the guy in the pink shirt (he had changed into a blue one w/ a badge) watering the shell in the parking lot in Houma the other day. Guess he didn't have time to go inside to use the facilities, what with all that important gate-guarding to do.
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Old 26th Mar 2006, 13:29
  #127 (permalink)  
 
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Couldn't tell in the photos, but in Louisiana junk like those always have a dealer tag usually in the back window and never carry liability insurance. Also, most don't have a drivers license. By the way, SASless, you forgot to mention in Louisiana we always put our spare tires on the roof of our trailer houses. No it's not to keep looters from stealing them, it's to keep the roof from flapping in the wind.
barryb
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Old 14th May 2006, 18:24
  #128 (permalink)  
 
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GOM Gossip

I ran across this anonymous post on another web site and found it to be far more insightful than a casual reading of it would suggest.
We keep talking about the "turnover rate" amongst Gulf of Mexico offshore pilots. This might just pass as a case study of that situation.
Perhaps the author of this will come forth and add to the account.
A friend of a friend asked me what it's like to work as a helicopter pilot in the GOM. He was never in the armed forces. He works at a desk job, and is getting bored. I told him to imagine the following:
1. Drive 100-400 miles to your workplace the day before your 7 day hitch starts. You make the long commute because where you work is a place nobody would want to raise a family. If you don't have a family, it still doesn't matter- because where you work is a place even you would not want to live.
2. Wake up at 3:30am - 4:30am every day for the next 7 days in a row, dressed in brown or blue/white polyester clothes.
3. Preflight your aircraft in complete darkness as you are swarmed and bitten by enormous clouds of mosquitoes.
4. Get in your aircraft that is full of hungry mosquitoes and fly smelly customers to smelly locations, or lay around at the base on smelly couches all day, watching the History Channel.
5. Get stuck off-shore and spend the night in a very small room with 2-3 smelly ex-convicts that off-gas their deep fried dinners all night. Enjoy the cigarette smoke that is pumped through the air-conditioning system into your room. Wake-up and stand in a moldy, filthy shower the next morning while being watched by an perverted, obese man.
6. Do not drink alcohol for 7 days in a row.
7. When you sign out at the end of your 14 work hour day, drive or walk to your company's mini trailer park, where you will now a very small space with everyone that you worked with all day, sometimes even your manager. Either watch what he is watching on TV, or go to your sleeping room and listen to what he is watching on TV. Can you imagine sleeping in the same trailer as your office administrator, boss, and co-workers for 7 straight days? Remember that there is nowhere else closeby to go....no town, no coffee shops, no restaurants, etc...
8. Eat at the local gas station, or drive 30 minutes for a meal, or drive 30 minutes to a substandard grocery store and then cook your own meals in your trailer.
9. Drive 100-400 miles home, at the end of your 7th work day. Or don't drive home, because you have been mandated for workover, and now you are going to stay another 3 days. Call the wife- I'm sure she'll understand (again).
10. Wait for a check in the mail that is nearly half of what you where making at your desk job. Wonder how you will ever save enough for retirement. Wonder what skills you will have in 25 years when you can no longer qualify for a flight medical.
11. Your children grow-up, and your spouse grows distant, while you spend half of every year away from home. Soon, you realize that the 5-6 days that you are at home on break don't even matter anymore, because everyone thinks that you are the invisible man, or that you really don't exist at all...
12. You don't discuss your work days with your family anymore, because more often than not, it is humiliating to you, unless, of course, you make up flying stories that are not based in reality.
13. When the hurricane comes, you will not be going home- the company needs you. Your house might get wiped out, and your family may need you, but you will be expected to work through the disaster, while your family fends for themselves. You may not return home for more than a week after your house has been damaged.Anyone care to add anything else?
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Old 14th May 2006, 20:25
  #129 (permalink)  
 
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And who says there are no great jobs in aviation?

Form one line, no pushing.
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Old 14th May 2006, 20:28
  #130 (permalink)  
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SAS you are the eternal pesimist! You forgot the part about the six figuire income and only working every other week. Real people do live South of I-10
Of course I'm glad I'm not one of them.
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Old 14th May 2006, 22:05
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To be perfectly honest this guy does hit a lot of his points right on the money. To be sure, it’s a pessimistic view, but a lot of it is uncomfortably accurate. I came to the Gulf at a point in my career where I had no other viable options. I hadn’t established much of a civilian career yet, and not a lot of operators were hiring in my area. I jumped in with both feet and was ecstatic just to have a job. Living and working conditions were as he said, spartan at best. The customer, no matter how stupid, was always right, and the company would seldom back you up. The way this guy describes it is probably the way a lot of folks still remember it.

After a pretty rocky start things began to improve somewhat and I decided to ride it out. And things continued to improve. The scare of union organization induced our employers to “up the ante.” Advancement and upgrades began to open up. I looked forward to going to work every week.

Fast forward fifteen years. There are, without a doubt, jobs being flown right now that match nearly exactly the description our friend wrote, but they are not nearly as prevalent as they used to be. The major operators have taken some huge steps toward supporting their pilots’ decision not to fly in the face of adverse weather or airworthiness concerns. All three of the major operators are updating their fleets with new aircraft or aggressive refurbishment programs. Housing and base facilities, though still spartan, are being updated or replaced outright in many locations. Finally, after over 50 years of operation, my company was bought by someone who knows how to run it on a for-profit basis. I’m flying a brand-new (for the first time in my career) fully-equipped medium twin for a great customer. I live in comfortable quarters at one of our few bases located near civilization, and I’m paid a reasonable wage. I'm grateful for all that.

But, I’ve reached the point in my career that I have more to lose than I have to gain by changing employers, and my company knows it. I’ve become what I used to ridicule – a lifer. I still enjoy what I’m doing, but the thought of retirement no longer scares me the way it used to.

I must confess that I still abhor the weekly commute (250 miles / 4-1/2 hours for me). I hate being away from home for a week or more at a time. I hate not being home to help my wife when a hurricane comes through, and I hated losing my car to hurricane Katrina last year – I really loved that car. I hate the very idea of mandatory workover. I hate the loss of continuity in my life. But most of all, I hate every time I had to break a promise to my daughter while she was growing up.

-Stan-
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Old 15th May 2006, 01:16
  #132 (permalink)  
 
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For years...decades?...the GOM existed in its own little world. Most of the guys were ex-military, and the nomadic two-world civilian life they hired into was actually a step up from what they were used to. But judged against all of helicopter aviation, as it is now, the GOM falls short.

Stan sez:
The scare of union organization induced our employers to “up the ante.” Advancement and upgrades began to open up.
Stan, Stan, Stan. You know full well that it was not the benevolence of the company that caused those things. "Old guys" were simply retiring (and going EMS!) faster than PHI could replace them.

First the company tried the "direct-to-SIC" route. How many low-timers did they hire, 12? And how many quit just as soon as they got an IFR 412 check-out and a few hours under their belt? Nope, not 12. Eleven.

When I hired-on in '87, PHI very plainly told my class that we wouldn't be wth the company long enough to fly the 412, oh and sorry about that. We shrugged. None of us planned on staying that long anyway. Of the six guys in my new-hire class, the other five were all gone within two years. At my five- or six-year level, Scheduling called and said they were sending the 412 books, etc. to me and that a 412 ground school class was scheduled. They were shocked when I declined. Evidently, not too many maroons turned down an "upgrade" to SIC (which it really wasn't, in my humble opinion, since it involved no extra pay at that time and I was already a PIC and still wasn't planning on staying for even one more year). But I digress...

So the fact that "advancements and upgrades" began to open up was more a factor of the start of the pilot shortage than any good-will on the part of the company.

You also say:
Housing and base facilities, though still spartan, are being updated or replaced outright in many locations.
Heh. Yes, hurricanes have a way of doing that. And that is the good/bad thing about housing your employees in mobile homes. They might really be awful (and let's be honest, they really are), but they do get replaced every so often whether the company wants to or not.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. All of the above means nothing. You end your missive with this:
I must confess that I still abhor the weekly commute (250 miles / 4-1/2 hours for me). I hate being away from home for a week or more at a time. I hate not being home to help my wife when a hurricane comes through, and I hated losing my car to hurricane Katrina last year – I really loved that car. I hate the very idea of mandatory workover. I hate the loss of continuity in my life. But most of all, I hate every time I had to break a promise to my daughter while she was growing up.
My buddy Greg...you know Greg...it used to kill him to be over in Lousyana when his babies were born and walking and talking for the first time when he wasn't there - and couldn't be! And it used to kill me watching how it affected him. "Luckily," being single I didn't have those family issues, although I still hated being away from home for so much of the time, wondering if the water heater was going to blow this week or whether the place was being burglarized and my prized porn collection (every PLAYBOY since 1972!) ended up under some neighborhood druggie's mattress and my ABBA 8-tracks ending up on Ebay.

Stan, what you said is the very crux of what is objectionable about the GOM. As a job, it fairly sucks if you put a value on having any kind of home life. There is not bloody much that PHI can do about it short of moving the oil industry to someplace more civilized, and I don't think they're about to do that. For some pilots and mechanics, perhaps they can fool themselves that the week-at-a-time at home more than makes up for the week-at-a-time spent away. Personally, I don't believe it does. But that's just me.

And as for all that other stuff about the pilot being the lowest human on the totem pole out there? Well, it's true but who really cares? If all I wanted was to be respected and adored, I would've chosen a job that put me in an airline pilot's uniform. Out in the GOM, the flying (remember that part of what we do?) is as good as it gets anywhere. Pilots who have problems with their command authority and ego would probably have just as tough a time with a drunk corporate client who demanded to be landed at his hover-hole house. After dark. During fog season. I've flown charter/quasi-corporate as pilot for a construction company with their own ship. The personal issues really aren't any different than in the GOM, except that while flying for the construction company, I used to get belittled while wearing a white shirt and tie. No matter what the job, it's tough not being the CEO!



P.S. Sorry you lost Big Red.
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Old 15th May 2006, 02:22
  #133 (permalink)  
 
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Smile

Reading these posts, it makes me much more happy that I couldn't get a green card to work in the GOM.
Back in 1975 in Doha, Qatar, our company bought 2 rebuilt 205s from PHI. Both had had bad accidents, hence the rebuild & came with 3 very good PHI engineers. They were a lot better than the 205s! Bob Suggs came for a visit & actually invited my wife & I to his hotel for dinner! As I had plenty of offshore time, he offered me a job in the GOM & when he found out I liked sailing, offered me his yacht to take his young wife out as he couldn't sail!
Despite those perks, it seems I was lucky I couldn't work there!
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Old 15th May 2006, 03:31
  #134 (permalink)  
 
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There is a lot of truth to all these posts so far. Fact is that touring isn't much different wherever it is, Karratha has its limitations as well not to mention having to live half your life at Truscott or Troughton Island! I supose Australia hasn't graduated to living in trailers yet although some of the accommodation could be better.

Maybe Aberdeen where one at least lives where one works isn't so bad....if you can put up with living there and never seeing your house in daylight on working days!

Whether its the Middle East, Shetland Islands, GOM, or West Africa, helicopter pilot touring jobs are not that great when it comes to a stable family life. Then again, all jobs which involve frequent travel and time away from home have their downsides.

That's Aviation I guess.......
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Old 15th May 2006, 04:04
  #135 (permalink)  
 
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One can walk onto a mobile home lot and buy a better quality single-wide trailer for about 18,000-20,000 USD. Thus ,lets double that figure and call it 40,000 USD for your standard GOM helicopter staff trailer. Five guys per shift to the trailer, normal life expectancy of the trailer (being reasonable here) ten years.

I guess that runs to about 400 USD per staff person for the purchase of the accomodation over the ten year period (or about $1.09 per day per person).

That does not include land, utilities, telephone, cable/sat TV, internet, janitor service, repairs, taxes, or depreciation.

Maybe someone that has purchased one of these things and leased it to their company can provide more accurate figures.

Sounds like a pretty good bargain for someone.
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Old 15th May 2006, 04:11
  #136 (permalink)  
 
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I drive 6.5 hours for a five by five day/night VFR HEMS in a pleasant medium-sized country town three hours drive from the country's largest city - pays OK - around twenty hours/month and every flight provides a different scenario/challenge. GREAT job satisfaction. Why anyone would even contemplate offshore is beyond me - the flying must be as boring as bat**** let alone all the other crap!
gags
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Old 15th May 2006, 14:03
  #137 (permalink)  
 
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Sounds just like touring to Nigeria as well, except for smelly trailer etc., read smelly old room in a house built to substandard 40 years ago and never properly maintained and for the 200 mile commute read 3 days travel to or from Canada or Australia. Great life being a touring pilot
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Old 16th May 2006, 22:33
  #138 (permalink)  
 
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they wrote a song about that?

I must confess that I still abhor the weekly commute (250 miles / 4-1/2 hours for me).

And I've got such a long way to go
(Such a long way to go)
To make it to the gulf of Mexico
So I'll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind

......with apologies to Christopher Cross!!
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Old 17th May 2006, 00:40
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I used to hate my 4.5 hour one-way commute. Did it until I just couldn't do it anymore, then I quit. (I think I left with my sanity, but I'm not sure.) On the drive over, I'd frequently sing along with this tune:


Oh look out world,
Take a good look
What comes down here
You must learn this lesson fast
And learn it well.
This ain't no upwardly mobile freeway
Oh no, this is the road...
Said this is the road...
This is the road...
To hell


apologies to Chris Rea
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Old 17th May 2006, 07:44
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Stan thats a really useful comment about the industry in general.
Ive seen so many jobs like that with guys almost burnt out and only a couple of guys i know have had the guts to move out of the industry.
Its the most over hyped industry outside of hollywood and alot of people are completely unrealistic about the personal satisfaction they are going to get from helicopters 10-20 years down the track.
I really like my job but i trade the security and family life(thank god i dont have one) for the travel and (dare i say it) the adventure.
The conditions can be crap, worked on a job where all our maintenance was done at night in the bush with a grizzly bear hanging around the tree line that would come into camp during the day and scare people, and worked on a boat with 24 gay Korean sailors for a shipping company where deck bosses had disappeared at night over the side.
Its the beer and the chicks and the travel for me but once im over that it will be time to go i think
You know when its time to move on but its hard to pull the trigger.
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