"Its either me, or your Pilot Training"
 

Hello fellow wannabes and pilots alike,

I've been accepted into the Jet Pilot Programme for the 43 air school today. Its supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life as I've always dreamt of being a pilot since I was a child. All my friends and family couldnt be any happier for me.

But, my girlfriend of 3 years is not happy about the prospect of me being away training for nearly a year in total.

So I've got an ultimatum which you've probably worked out from the title.

Anyone else had to manage a situation like this? If so, advice is greatly required.

How old are you may I ask?

You may. I'm 28

girls will come and go, but this is a career for life.

go for the air training! plenty of air stewardesses at 35,000ft :)

JB

Question is; how old is she. :}

Hey sorry to hear about your situation. In my opinion I think you should do do the training program its been a dream of yours for a long time, you will be kicking yourself for the rest of your life if you don't take the chance, its a risk you have to take. As a girlfriend she should be supportive, yes it is hard being in a long distance relationship but if two people want to be together the distance won't be a problem. I know I have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for 7 years I lived in Canada she lived in Poland, I moved to Poland last year and we are still together. If you decide to go for it, remember to call a lot, e-mail. Its all based on thrust. Hope you make the right decision

my 2c
 

Hi Oveur

Sorry to hear about your situation. It's not something i would not even wish on my worst enemy !

It is important that your girlfriend/wife supports (or at least tolerates) your decision to fly for a living. If she cannot support you being away for the training - will she be able to cope when you are a full-time pilot - away from home for long periods ... ?

I cannot tell you what to do, though - YOU have to decide. But being accepted at 43 is an amazing opportunity. I for one would sacrifise a lot for that !

I'm inclined to suggest that she is being manipulative and you can do without a girlfriend that does that sort of thing. Surely it's not out of the blue that you were applying, and that that would mean being apart for a year? And it's not a year of 365 days none-stop - you would be able to see her from time to time? Also, if all goes well and you get your licence, the next thing will be working using it - surely that will involve you being away a lot as well?

Heidi Hi,

I was in the same boat in October....

I've also been with my girlfriend 3 years, passed the CCAT Assessment day and after the selling spiel from the Integrated team up at Cranfield I went away and thought, bugger it, I have to go integrated and I'll be moving up to Cranfield for a over a year!

Went home and spoke to the mrs.....the words heavy led balloon come to mind! After weeks of rowing about it she gave me the same ultimatum and I said that if she really wanted to be with me then she was going to have to accept that this is what I am going to do. If she couldn't then it's a great shame but hey ho. This shocked her back into line and I would suggest you try the same mate! In the end I came round to the thought that if I didn't do this because of her I would resent her for the rest of my life and we would end up breaking up anyway so better now than later!

I suspect that if you've been with her for 3 years its pretty serious and it would take alot more than that to split you up. Im training Modular at Cabair BOH now but that had nothing to do with the mrs and everythig to do with the repayments at the end!

Im off to Canada in March for 3 months and thats going to be hard on both of us but its short term pain for long termgain and I personally made the decision to let nothing stop me from getting to that RHS. Selfish attitude to have? Maybe but there are times in life when you have to put yourself 1st!

Hope this helps but PM me if not.

CS :ok:

Hi,
in my opinion (as already nearly all of us have already said) is that you have to follow your heart.... flight of that girl....

You have to establish which life you will consider colorless without either of the two options :ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

Good look (I would directly say.... FLIGHT:):):):):):):))

Bin her.

If she's complaining now then just wait until you start your training. It's a full time commitment and she has to be in on it.

If you 'pick her' then you will just become bitter towards her later on for missing out on a dream you had while she goes off on a career direction of her choice.

You never know she might be bluffing and will come crawling back if she realises your not going to back down (this never works for me)

There are a lot of factors that come into her response I am sure, however, if she loves you, surely she would support you, it is not as it is forever is it?

Its also interesting that you have been together for while and she must have known your amibition. Reminds me of my situation. I have been with my girlfriend for 8 years now, and I remember sitting her down when we got together and putting my cards on the table about my amibition in life to become a pilot. And I can say, she has been so supportive, to which I am thankful for.

I guess another thing that needs to be considered, is how will she react when you new roster is published, and you only have 10 days in one month at home? It may be worth sitting down and discussing it and addressing what you both want from life?

Anyway, only my 2 pence worth, hope you can work things out.

any chance of dragging her along? I'm planning to move to the UK to do my training after I finish my degree and my girlfriend will be tagging along.

Sounds harsh and cold, but consider letting her go . . . she's more interested in herself than in you, and sounds like she doesn't want to budge from her comfort zone - or want you to, either.

Scenario from my own past: Get rid of your business and get a job working for someone or I will leave . . . so I did . . . accepted a 75% cut in income so she could be comfortable with a much smaller but regular weekly paycheck . . . a few months later, she left anyway . . . then I got to start up my business again and make a decent living (again).

Relationships come and go, your pilot's license is for life. If she's given to ultimatums, you're likely better off without her. Men usually take about six months to get over a relationship, women take about a year.

If you cave on this, which is something that really means a lot for you and your future, what's next? Do you really want to wind up like Mr. Bouquet on "Keeping Up Appearances"?

See if she's willing to demonstrate any flexibility, reach some kind of a compromise arrangement, but if she says "airplanes or me", she's history.

/end marital advice mode

Best Regards,

Echo Mike

Short answer:

"don't let the door hit your bum on your way out"!..

Seriously, if someone can't support you in your career choice then maybe they're not the person for you.

can you post a pic of her?

Show her the door as she walks slowly, kicking cans down the street, yell "Toodle-f***ing-pip you selfish (insert expletive here)".
I've got 4 words for you, Air Stewardesses Air stewardesses.

In the words of Gordon Ramsey (or in the style of)

Girl, Out, flying career, in, money, in, air stewardesses, on, start cycle again. Done.

Regards

CR

I pretty much agree with all of the above. If you really think there is something special between you then try and bring her around. If not, then consider a parting of the ways. I could say much more but I won't, except to leave you with this thought .........

How will you feel if you don't take up this opportunity and then in 6, 9, 12, or 24 months time, she turns around out of the blue and finishes with you !?

Good luck and don't look back in anger !!

Ultimatums
 

hi there

tough one to be in, however i was placed in a similar situation when one of my previous babes told me to stop jumping out of aircraft(been doing it since i was sixteen) or else.... i kept jumping and the following week i joined a flying school and started doing my ppl too:) ... few more threats came about and eventually she posted her keys through my letter box.
now doing my atpl theory(almost done) and have a new woman who supports me 100% and far sexier:ok:.

DONT GIVE UP YOUR DREAM. YOU WILL BE SORRY.

G LUCK

Just got to like Tomasz's final comment, :E:E:E