Family situation of a professional pilot
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Family situation of a professional pilot
Hi all.
I have almost completed my PPL in Australia. I was looking to go on and get my CPL. Due to financial reasons and time restraints, it has taken me almost 2 years to get my PPL. Given this, it looks likely that it will be at least another 2 years till I get my CPL. That's a lot of time and money and I'll be at least 25 when I get it.
What worries me (if I do complete my cpl) is how the early career of a pilot may affect a relationship or plans to build a family. I realize the work is tough early on (if you can get it), long hours and low pay and it doesn't get that much easier (long hours, better pay).
I really enjoy flying and would love to do it as a career however I also know my long term partner wants to settle down and have children. The way I see it is I either go through with the CPL and risk my relationship and get nowhere as a career pilot or I get my PPL and fly on the rare occasion I would be able to afford it. Has anyone navigated this kind of situation? I realize it's quite dependent on personal feelings but would love to hear others experience regarding this kind of situation.
Sorry for the rambling.
P.S. sorry if this is in the wrong forum.
I have almost completed my PPL in Australia. I was looking to go on and get my CPL. Due to financial reasons and time restraints, it has taken me almost 2 years to get my PPL. Given this, it looks likely that it will be at least another 2 years till I get my CPL. That's a lot of time and money and I'll be at least 25 when I get it.
What worries me (if I do complete my cpl) is how the early career of a pilot may affect a relationship or plans to build a family. I realize the work is tough early on (if you can get it), long hours and low pay and it doesn't get that much easier (long hours, better pay).
I really enjoy flying and would love to do it as a career however I also know my long term partner wants to settle down and have children. The way I see it is I either go through with the CPL and risk my relationship and get nowhere as a career pilot or I get my PPL and fly on the rare occasion I would be able to afford it. Has anyone navigated this kind of situation? I realize it's quite dependent on personal feelings but would love to hear others experience regarding this kind of situation.
Sorry for the rambling.
P.S. sorry if this is in the wrong forum.
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Hey,
I am 24 years old I have a son and a long term on/off girlfriend of 8 years.
When I first started my Career as a professional pilot It was hard, to keep A relationship with them. I am based in another country but my roster is very Stable 6/4
At first I thought the grass was greener, But soon realised what I was missing.
Now Commute on a regular basis, I get on alot better with the girlfriend and have a good aspiring relationship with my son.
I don't mind the commute, I have good connections it's no drama at all.
Good Luck!
I am 24 years old I have a son and a long term on/off girlfriend of 8 years.
When I first started my Career as a professional pilot It was hard, to keep A relationship with them. I am based in another country but my roster is very Stable 6/4
At first I thought the grass was greener, But soon realised what I was missing.
Now Commute on a regular basis, I get on alot better with the girlfriend and have a good aspiring relationship with my son.
I don't mind the commute, I have good connections it's no drama at all.
Good Luck!
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Hi Sam. Your question takes me back. So a personal comment as you requested. Please ignore it if you think it not of any value because you face a real dilemma and in the end only you will have to live with it and the decision will affect the rest of your life.
It is all a question of balance and it is not for anyone else to know how much you want either of the two sides of the situation.
Of course if you are fortunate you could attain both as I did. My wife stuck with me whilst I ground away through the self sponsor route. She even did extra work to enable me to take time off earning whilst training. I knew she was the real thing then. Happily we were able to produce soon after the licences and a job ensued.
This is not to say that if your partner will not wait for you to get your licences that she is not the real thing either. You could finish up in big debt and no job cos it is so tough out there.
Of the two, the relationship is the more important if it is the right one. Only you two know the answer to that (if one ever knows!).
It is all a question of balance and it is not for anyone else to know how much you want either of the two sides of the situation.
Of course if you are fortunate you could attain both as I did. My wife stuck with me whilst I ground away through the self sponsor route. She even did extra work to enable me to take time off earning whilst training. I knew she was the real thing then. Happily we were able to produce soon after the licences and a job ensued.
This is not to say that if your partner will not wait for you to get your licences that she is not the real thing either. You could finish up in big debt and no job cos it is so tough out there.
Of the two, the relationship is the more important if it is the right one. Only you two know the answer to that (if one ever knows!).
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I have not been through this, but may I share my thought anyway?
It depends on how lucky you get. Where you get a job, what kind of a job and how soon.
You might get a nice job with nice pay. You will do what you love and keep your relationship at same time. But, there is always "but". There is a chance you will not be able to land a job right away. You might have to go to another country? Bush-fly for few years...
Impossible to know. Do you want to play it safe, give up your dream and stay with that girl (well, there is no guarantee you will be together in 2-3 years from now neither).
Or you make take a chance. You risk money. You risk relationship... but you proceed your dream.
We live only once, so make a smart choice... the one that is right for you.
Me? I would say go for your dream... and if you gf is "right one", she will support you.
And last advise - dont get kids while doing CPL or before you settle a job... that most likely will be career killer for you then.
Good luck anyway!
It depends on how lucky you get. Where you get a job, what kind of a job and how soon.
You might get a nice job with nice pay. You will do what you love and keep your relationship at same time. But, there is always "but". There is a chance you will not be able to land a job right away. You might have to go to another country? Bush-fly for few years...
Impossible to know. Do you want to play it safe, give up your dream and stay with that girl (well, there is no guarantee you will be together in 2-3 years from now neither).
Or you make take a chance. You risk money. You risk relationship... but you proceed your dream.
We live only once, so make a smart choice... the one that is right for you.
Me? I would say go for your dream... and if you gf is "right one", she will support you.
And last advise - dont get kids while doing CPL or before you settle a job... that most likely will be career killer for you then.
Good luck anyway!
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Family situation of a professional pilot
Thanks for the replies.
I know my position isn't unique though individual circumstances can vary.
I'm thinking about trying for my CPL as flying is really the only thing I can think of in which I know I'll enjoy my job. Like Groundfine and Cefey said, if the relationship is meant to work out, then it will.
I think that is I don't at least try and get my CPL then I'll probably regret it forever.
Thanks for telling your stories. I think a lot of people aspiring to be pilots probably go through similar circumstances. Gives me hope that starting a pilot career and keeping a relationship going aren't mutually exclusive.
I know my position isn't unique though individual circumstances can vary.
I'm thinking about trying for my CPL as flying is really the only thing I can think of in which I know I'll enjoy my job. Like Groundfine and Cefey said, if the relationship is meant to work out, then it will.
I think that is I don't at least try and get my CPL then I'll probably regret it forever.
Thanks for telling your stories. I think a lot of people aspiring to be pilots probably go through similar circumstances. Gives me hope that starting a pilot career and keeping a relationship going aren't mutually exclusive.
Last edited by Sam_90; 25th Jan 2013 at 10:05.
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All replies comes from people who are still living in the cloud of the "dream"
Reality check is that if you are in a good relationship, the changes the studies will first do to your life, and later the job, if you get a job, will not be fair to say, oh yes if she loves you it will work out!
Sorry, you guys saying that are talking like naive kids, without a clue!
When I started my ATPL theory, our teacher said, 50% of you who start, will end up separated/divorced if you in a relationship!
It's not about that she should accept it, because you will at times discover it takes all your time, if you are "lucky" and manage to go all the way, it will at times consume your relationship and put it under severe strain!
Reality check is that if you are in a good relationship, the changes the studies will first do to your life, and later the job, if you get a job, will not be fair to say, oh yes if she loves you it will work out!
Sorry, you guys saying that are talking like naive kids, without a clue!
When I started my ATPL theory, our teacher said, 50% of you who start, will end up separated/divorced if you in a relationship!
It's not about that she should accept it, because you will at times discover it takes all your time, if you are "lucky" and manage to go all the way, it will at times consume your relationship and put it under severe strain!
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Aviation has one of the highest divorce rates of any job. I avoided it by not marrying the bitch. I have many colleagues who are working like dogs to pay off their 3rd ex wives.
This job will cost a fortune to get into, your family to stay in, and your soul to get out of.
Just so you know what you're getting into.
This job will cost a fortune to get into, your family to stay in, and your soul to get out of.
Just so you know what you're getting into.
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P P if you refer to someone who thought you loved them in these terms maybe she is the fortunate one?
Even if it is as Truckflyer says it still leaves 50% without the grief.
To some cynical readers it might be a surprise that most of my flying colleagues are still with wife1. It is perhaps a generational thing rather than professional biased.
Even if it is as Truckflyer says it still leaves 50% without the grief.
To some cynical readers it might be a surprise that most of my flying colleagues are still with wife1. It is perhaps a generational thing rather than professional biased.
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All depends on how strong your relationship is and how much your partner believes and supports what you are doing. And with starting a family, a lot of it depends on how strong your family support structure is?
Any cracks and aviation will out them. A lot also obviously depends on you as a person and how you handle being away? If you can't go 5 minutes in a hotel on your own without skyping your nearest and dearest, then you know it's probably not for you.
In short, you need to have strong support.
Any cracks and aviation will out them. A lot also obviously depends on you as a person and how you handle being away? If you can't go 5 minutes in a hotel on your own without skyping your nearest and dearest, then you know it's probably not for you.
In short, you need to have strong support.
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" how much your partner believes and supports what you are doing"
Seriously?? One way street, hey baby, let me see how much you support me! I will not be available for you for the next 4 - 5 years, because I am busy becoming a pilot!
What BS talk, seriously, it's not about how much your partner supports you and believes in you, it's about can you have enough time, energy and effort, that when you are exhausted, to also remember she might have a hard time, and that it is not ALL ABOUT YOU!
I am sorry, but I have seen few relations on the rocks or broken because of this business!
Most definitely it does not come down to how much she loves you, it comes down to how selfish will she allow you to be, before she finds out the grass is really greener without you the pilot dreamer!
Of course it does depend if your wife or girlfriend, how attractive they are for others, of course if she is an old sack, who looks like a witch on a broom, you might not have much to fear, however not all of us have wives or girlfriends like that!
If she leaves you, it will be your fault, and not because she did not love you enough - thats just the way it goes, and price of this dream that you might end up both loving and hating!
Seriously?? One way street, hey baby, let me see how much you support me! I will not be available for you for the next 4 - 5 years, because I am busy becoming a pilot!
What BS talk, seriously, it's not about how much your partner supports you and believes in you, it's about can you have enough time, energy and effort, that when you are exhausted, to also remember she might have a hard time, and that it is not ALL ABOUT YOU!
I am sorry, but I have seen few relations on the rocks or broken because of this business!
Most definitely it does not come down to how much she loves you, it comes down to how selfish will she allow you to be, before she finds out the grass is really greener without you the pilot dreamer!
Of course it does depend if your wife or girlfriend, how attractive they are for others, of course if she is an old sack, who looks like a witch on a broom, you might not have much to fear, however not all of us have wives or girlfriends like that!
If she leaves you, it will be your fault, and not because she did not love you enough - thats just the way it goes, and price of this dream that you might end up both loving and hating!
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I lost my wife of 6 years during my training days, and have lost 2 further girlfriends since I started flying, it's tough to make it work! Well for me anyways. But it sure is nice getting that big salary all to yourself...swings and prostitutes
, it's cheaper in the long run to rent than buy.
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Cirrus - don't think you are everyone, anyway your post history shows that you are the kind of person that is exactly what is wrong with aviation today!
I am not sure, if you are a man or a mice, but anybody who is a real man would put his children in front of anything else in life, everything else in life is a Bonus!
Of course, it does not seem that you have reached that level of enlightenment yet, but who knows, time will show you a lesson or two too, in time!
I honestly don't care what others think of me on these forums, the people who know me, and meet me in real, know how I am, and I have NEVER had a problem!
At least I did not need to P2F to get a job!
I am not sure, if you are a man or a mice, but anybody who is a real man would put his children in front of anything else in life, everything else in life is a Bonus!
Of course, it does not seem that you have reached that level of enlightenment yet, but who knows, time will show you a lesson or two too, in time!
I honestly don't care what others think of me on these forums, the people who know me, and meet me in real, know how I am, and I have NEVER had a problem!
At least I did not need to P2F to get a job!
Last edited by truckflyer; 27th Jan 2013 at 13:57.
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When I started my ATPL theory, our teacher said, 50% of you who start, will end up separated/divorced if you in a relationship!
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At times, making the home life work is extremely testing. My partner has always been absolutely fantastic and nothing but supportive when it comes to my career. In return, I push her to excel in her's. I've been in this industry for nearly 5 years, and airline flying for just over 2...being based abroad is an enormous strain BUT an appreciation of what I'm putting her through and driving her to succeed in her own profession means that when I'm away, she has something to keep her busy.
We get married in 4 months time after being together for 8 years....picked up the rings this afternoon infact....is future divorce a concern? In this industry...of course! But if things carry on as they currently are then I don't imagine I'll end up in the divorce club.
Remember guys/girls......While we happen to love our job (and for all the sh** we come across on the ground, I think it's fair to say that MOST of us still find it a pleasure to go flying),
WE WORK TO LIVE, NOT LIVE TO WORK....
We get married in 4 months time after being together for 8 years....picked up the rings this afternoon infact....is future divorce a concern? In this industry...of course! But if things carry on as they currently are then I don't imagine I'll end up in the divorce club.
Remember guys/girls......While we happen to love our job (and for all the sh** we come across on the ground, I think it's fair to say that MOST of us still find it a pleasure to go flying),
WE WORK TO LIVE, NOT LIVE TO WORK....
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Divorce or broken relationships!
Personally I have against all odds survived, however I do know of few guys, where they have broken up, or / and had relations on the rocks! Hanging by their teeth over the cliff!
The instructor who did say this, gave up flying mainly because of this, to save his marriage with 3 children!
Commuting has been hard for many, myself inclusive, and know of many where commuting, long distance, not being there has been an important part.
Maybe before, when the money was good, money could keep the wife.girlfriend happy, however these days - there is no money, no reward, at least not now - maybe one day! Things it becomes hard when like this!
Personally I have against all odds survived, however I do know of few guys, where they have broken up, or / and had relations on the rocks! Hanging by their teeth over the cliff!
The instructor who did say this, gave up flying mainly because of this, to save his marriage with 3 children!
Commuting has been hard for many, myself inclusive, and know of many where commuting, long distance, not being there has been an important part.
Maybe before, when the money was good, money could keep the wife.girlfriend happy, however these days - there is no money, no reward, at least not now - maybe one day! Things it becomes hard when like this!
