Just asked my wife the same question, as she's not in the slightest bit interested in my adventures in The Pitts. She says it's because she can't relate to it. Talk about the people, fine. Talk about technical stuff....eyes glaze over etc.

And there's a bit of the "burning crater in the ground, with some smouldering wings nearby" too, not helped by my unhealthy interest in aviation accidents.

Issue confronted......calmly over dinner.

My hunch was correct.Her problem is 10% cost, 90% safety. The cost issue is not really a problem, I don't need to dwell on it here. The real issue is one of me falling uncontrollably from the sky one day. To be honest my wife has a "mild" fear of flying i.e she will get into a plane if she has to but would rather not. BTW, when I say plane I mean B737 A320 etc, so a Cessna 172 is definitely a non-runner.

On the plus side she actually made a point of learning exactly what is involved in gaining a PPL i.e the training program, instructor qualifications, ground school etc and what would be involved if I wanted to go further with my training, i.e CPL. These are questions that she was intentionally avoiding asking because she was hoping the whole thing would go away.

I have gone to lengths to explain to her how important my own life is to me and how I have no intention of putting myself in danger. In fact there was a eureka moment when she remembered how sticky I am when it comes to safety. As a landscape gardener I use potentially dangerous equipment on a daily basis and have spent quite a lot of money insuring I am properly qualified/trained in all of my machinery. It's not as if she didn't already know this but fortunately this has helped her to realize that she's not dealing with a flying maniac but a normal balanced person:E who happens to love flying.

So we have agreed that I will not bore her with the technical details and that the option is open for her to join me on a lesson some day. :) So long as I, for my part, be careful up there.

It's great that you were able to talk about her fears with her and show her that you have some understanding of them. :D

As for channeling your enthusiasm for talking about flying away from your wife, I recommend forums like this, starting a blog or chatting with your instructor and other students/pilots at your school when you are not flying. There could be some contacts you make through this forum who might live not too far away and you could organize a fly in or a monthly meeting at the pub so you can get all that talk out of your system.

When non-fliers ask me if flying is safe, I inform them of the probability that you are far more likely to die driving to and from the airport than through any flying you might undertake from it. The media has a lot to answer for in portraying aviation as being far more unsafe than it actually is.

But that is only true of commerica air travel. The risks involved in light GA are significantly higher than that.

PACE, if you get your girlfriend and then your wife pregnant you can expect no sympathy:E

Some have found data suggesting it is comparable to a motorcycle.

However, motorcycle accidents are mostly caused by car drivers, whereas some 99.x% of general aviation accidents involve no other vehicle.

On top of that, the # of half blind car drivers has vastly increased since the 1970s when I was on 2 wheels. MC is now a decidedly dodgy proposition, but again mostly due to car drivers.

The risk in flying is almost entirely down to the pilot and, in fixed wing at least, very few serious accidents result from crap maintenance (which is just as well since crap maintenance is endemic ;) ).

If flying was as dangerous as MC (as the risk per mile data superficially suggests) I would never do it. I do it because most of the risk is down to me.

A lot of bike deaths are due to massive power and diminished reactions,or kids with no experience,or born again bikers with no experience.
Don't blame cars and car drivers for crap m/c riding!:ugh:

I like people who get their priorities straight :}

On a slight change of subject though:
Maybe in your corner of the woods, but when I was a young lad I spent some time in the ambulance service and I can assure you the majority of the ones I used to pick up had managed to crash all by themselves.

Pace,
Well, mine got it a few years ago and was not amused, so nowadays my friend from the fire brigade serves as my "next of kin" contact. Mind you, she still reckons that flying is still much safer than what I do for a living.

[ I hadn't crashed, btw. Spanish ATC lost track of me, I was only on Barcelona Approach, you see :ugh: ]

She tried it a couple of times. The second and last of those I thought it would be a good idea to take her to Courchevel for touch and goes and again, she was not amused. At all. :{

Luckily in France there are plenty of female pilots, so I don't mind she's not joining :E

when I got my licence I was not ready to take passengers, I wanted to get a bit of experience while I only had myself to worry about. I did, however, take to flying off with my tent and camping away, the first time was on the day my newly gained licence came through the letterbox.

My partner was not at all keen to fly (with me or anyone else, even commercial) but did concede that she worried about me while I was away. After 3 or 4 years she began to realise that I would go off flying and come back without injury or damage and often visited some interesting places. She eventually came and had a short ride in the aircraft, saw the relaxed expression on my face and enjoyed the flight. She has been all over with me ever since. I heard her explain it to her parents "it is better to be with him than sitting at home worrying about him".

For my part, I try to make the flight interesting. I adjust the route to pass over interesting features on the ground, white horses, nice houses, crop circles, steam railway lines, big rivers, castles, follies, harbours etc. I also fly low enough that we get a good view and have been known to circle round while she points her camera. I usually try to fly to places where something is happening, if I am just flying around for the sake of flying I go on my own. We generally try to get away from the destination airfield and explore rather than stop at the airfield cafe, keep it interesting.

This brings another point to mind. We have two aircraft, an old Rans S6, high wing, 65 mph, good view down and around, good for taking photos from and a Zenair 601ul, low wing, 90mph, bubble canopy, poor view down, canopy too close to your face for SLR camera with long lens. Guess which we prefer to fly about in. Yup, the Rans is better for enjoying the view and the trip.

Don't rush your partner into it, let them get used to the idea at their own pace and then do more than just fly.

Rans6..

My wife understands that such an interest is in fact exactly the opposite of unhealthy, and that it's precisely the safe pilots who put so much effort into reading and understand the reports with a view to not killing themselves the same way.

Just wanted to put my tuppance worth in.

First, thank god for people who advise communication. I haven't even started flying yet (starting in the next couple of weeks, now I've had a trial), but I know none of you would expect ATC to guess what you were going to do, so you communicate. Same for your partner. Well done for actually asking, rather than guessing!

Next, I have a very similar situation. My partner is fine with me learning to fly, a bit worried about the costs, but understandably worried about my safety. Stats make no difference, especially since I go to work each day on a motorbike :-)

Lastly, on the subject of bike safety, I am led to believe that the overall number of accidents may have gone up, but the number of fatalities in comparison to the number of riders on the road has gone down vastly. Also, that the majority of those fatalities are with no other car involved, or bike crossing the centre line into oncoming traffic.

As a good friend, who is a bike copper said to me--- bad luck can strike any time, but if riding a bike was all about luck, how come I have ridden every day for 26 years and never had an accident.....I am taking that principle into learning to fly. Good training, careful planning and attention to detail beat the odds every time!

Good luck, and please feel free to rave about flying to me any time. I couldn't stop, and have only been up once!

(now, to sell the house and fund the next few lessons !!!!)

You think flying with just a single engine is dangerous? Pah! Try flying without ANY engine!

My Wife accepts that there are dangers inherent with what I do and the tradeoff is the enjoyment I derive from it. She used to ride horses (statistically a FAR more dangerous activity) so understands risk/reward.

IanPZ, yes indeed, it's a very expensive undertaking. In my case approx. E3/min including about 10 minutes on each occasion waiting for liners to land/take off. There was a time when I would have been glad to pay this for such a good vantage point. Having said that, every time I step out of the plane after my lesson I feel completely thrilled. You need to find a balance between what you can afford and not leaving too long between sessions. I have covered some of the cost by not changing my car ( something I generally do every 3 yrs). I have many hobbies but this is the only one that gives me an overwhelming sense of being "alive".

I learnt to fly fairly late in life: my wife actually bought me a trial lesson: I loved it so much I signed up immediately and 6 months later I had my PPL.

That was 17 years ago.

Prior to starting training my wife was full of good ideas including the time -honoured lunch in Le Touquet.

Then something changed as soon as I got my licence: she declined all offers to fly with me and has never once asked me if I've had a good flight or agreed to accompany me to a pilot curry/piss up.

The only time she's remotely interested is if I've been flying with one of my kids or grandson, but only to ask them if they've had a good time.

It's sad to think of the past 17 years of missed opportunities: You chaps with 'flying partners' don't know how lucky you are......

Cusco

Have you asked her why?

I started to learn to fly after I got divorced. Had I started when I was still with the ex, she would have definitely been resentful of me having fun (I had had loads of unpleasant examples of that already from her, but being much younger I accepted that as being normal female behaviour, whereas today in the same situation I would have legged it instantly - though a marriage and kids will make that much harder) and while I can only guess how it might have been resolved, it would have probably involved spending an equal amount of money on something for her to do.

However, we had small children then and if we were going to do something together (but without the kids) the kids would have had to be with a nanny, but the ex bitterly resented the prospect of a "stranger" messing with "her" kids. Result: a deadlock where neither parent is able to have any fun :ugh:

I think many relationships have an underlying dynamic which tries to prevent either person doing anything. So the man escapes down the pub; the pub across the road from here has its bar propped up by the same ~ 5 men every night, and most of them are married with kids.

I've also wondered often about the home "lives" of the many men often seen by the side of rivers and canals all evening drowning maggots.

G

Yes, I am sorry to say that disfunctional relationships are the norm rather than the exception.

I am divorced, and got fleeced as usual, but in most cases the men have only got themselves to blame for what they got into. And nowadays there is no reason for settling with somebody who basically resents the stuff which you find interesting.

Well its not all doom and gloom! I've been happily living in sin since leaving uni with my GF and she always knew I was into flying as I used my gliding tales to chat her up in the first place. Once I got my power ticket she started coming with me and although she was nervous at first she now loves looking at the nice houses and the trips down to the west country to see our repective sets of out-laws. When I've been out of work she has been kind enough to pay for fuel for my group plane to keep me current.


I'm not sure if it has any bearing but we're in our mid-thirties and have not opted for marriage or children as yet. She encourages me to pursue my dreams and I encourage her.

Doubtless when we get married and have kids we'll become as self destructive as everyone else.

Perhaps the rest of you lot should try living in sin and not procreating immediately in order to figure out if you're compatible before it becomes contractual. I may edit out this last paragraph as it sounds a little harsh.

I agree. Works great in my situation.

In N Europe, where the concept of the extended family is not strong, marriage is principally a financial security thing anyway, with the benefit going to the person who brought in the fewer assets :)

I think two things get conflated here: interest in aviation and interest in flying.

For us on this forum the two are largely one and the same - not so for our partners. My wife doesn't have the slightest interest in aviation, IOW she doesn't care one jota how an airplane works, what the intricacies of flight planning are, etc, etc.

However, she loves to go flying! By which she means 'going somewhere', a local bimble isn't of much interest. Here, there is a happy confluence of interests, as I pretty much feel the same and only 'bimble' to stay current if no bigger trip is happening. Guess I'm lucky, as we even did our honeymoon in a Cessna - which involved considerable planning as it happened in southern Africa. There is, however, nothing quite comparable to landing at a lodge in your own airplane..... which wifie is more than happy to attest to :ok:

I'm not sure if this applies to many other ladies, but emphasizing the pleasures of private flying over the general interest in all things aviation may, just may!, help.