coolest Atc instruction ever
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I operate from Rotterdam so we regularly mix with 737s and similar stuff.
One day I was waiting at an intersection for departure for an aerobatics sortie. A whole stream of all sorts of CAT was coming in so I could not get away. Behind me I heard a 737 get his departure clearance, get startup clearance, get taxi clearance and he eventually taxied behind me to the hold and reported ready for departure.
The last of the CAT finally came through and the 737 was told to line up and wait. "Oh, no" I though. "He first, an intersection departure so I need to wait another three minutes for wake turbulence before I can go.". But as soon as that last CAT passed my position I was told to line up and wait as well. ATC: "Transavia 1234, be advised a light aircraft will depart ahead of you". "Yeah, we thought as much" was the very grumpy response.
Got my take-off clearance and a departure clearance "immediate right turnout direct Oud Beijerland". Took off, and when my wheels were no more than 3 feet off the ground the Transavia also got his take-off clearance. So I put in 45 degrees bank, and zoomed over the platform at maybe 100 feet. The only thing I forgot was to put the call "caution my wake turbulence" in.
We've got a great bunch of controllers at Rotterdam. Something like this is fairly common: "PH-ABC you are cleared to land. Make a short circuit, expedite vacating, there's a 737 4 miles out on the ILS."
One day I was waiting at an intersection for departure for an aerobatics sortie. A whole stream of all sorts of CAT was coming in so I could not get away. Behind me I heard a 737 get his departure clearance, get startup clearance, get taxi clearance and he eventually taxied behind me to the hold and reported ready for departure.
The last of the CAT finally came through and the 737 was told to line up and wait. "Oh, no" I though. "He first, an intersection departure so I need to wait another three minutes for wake turbulence before I can go.". But as soon as that last CAT passed my position I was told to line up and wait as well. ATC: "Transavia 1234, be advised a light aircraft will depart ahead of you". "Yeah, we thought as much" was the very grumpy response.
Got my take-off clearance and a departure clearance "immediate right turnout direct Oud Beijerland". Took off, and when my wheels were no more than 3 feet off the ground the Transavia also got his take-off clearance. So I put in 45 degrees bank, and zoomed over the platform at maybe 100 feet. The only thing I forgot was to put the call "caution my wake turbulence" in.
We've got a great bunch of controllers at Rotterdam. Something like this is fairly common: "PH-ABC you are cleared to land. Make a short circuit, expedite vacating, there's a 737 4 miles out on the ILS."
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My unforgettable ATC was also at Duxford. Was flying in with my son. I don't know if he enjoyed himself, but I certainly did.
"Golf XXXX, you're OK for a long final if you want it. Number 2 to land after the Rapide, Spitfire, please hold for the Cessna".
Now you try keeping your eyes on the runway when you've had a message like that!
"Golf XXXX, you're OK for a long final if you want it. Number 2 to land after the Rapide, Spitfire, please hold for the Cessna".
Now you try keeping your eyes on the runway when you've had a message like that!
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Not quite following an ATC instruction...
WJ 001 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Oh, and for information, the photo was taken from a second Harrier (Cessna 152 sandwich?)
WJ 001 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Oh, and for information, the photo was taken from a second Harrier (Cessna 152 sandwich?)
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Best I had was a female controller who signed off with
" have a great weekend and if not call me on 078++9676 decimal 42 I can show you how to penetrate my airspace properly"!
Raunchy or what : ) but true!
Never took it up but a smile all round
Pace
" have a great weekend and if not call me on 078++9676 decimal 42 I can show you how to penetrate my airspace properly"!
Raunchy or what : ) but true!
Never took it up but a smile all round
Pace
Cessna outbound from Tauranga along the beach of Matakana Island.
Tower: "XYZ opposite direction traffic - a Spitfire."
XYZ (quick as a flash): "Tally Ho the Spitfire!"
And the best part was that I was in the back seat of the Spitfire!
Tower: "XYZ opposite direction traffic - a Spitfire."
XYZ (quick as a flash): "Tally Ho the Spitfire!"
And the best part was that I was in the back seat of the Spitfire!
Last edited by India Four Two; 4th Sep 2012 at 04:26. Reason: Because I couldn't spell Spitfire!
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Aye raunchie pace, but I bet you would have needed a wide body rating of some form, a set of ski's and a bag of flour to be able to do the job safely.
Last edited by mad_jock; 3rd Sep 2012 at 12:20.
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Taking off from Blackpool a while back:
"Gxxxx immediate left turn, maintain 800ft and allow approaching craft to pass to your right, then continue...."
I looked up to watch the Nimrod and Eurofighter continue on to Warton.
Couple of years after that at Prestwick
"Gxxxx turn final"
"Would that be in front of or behind the Lear Jet currently on final?"
"OH **** forgot about him. You better go behind him. And be aware you will be landing with a cargo 747 behind you so expedite ...."
Certainly got the blood pumping!
(Finally something made me register... long time lurker!)
"Gxxxx immediate left turn, maintain 800ft and allow approaching craft to pass to your right, then continue...."
I looked up to watch the Nimrod and Eurofighter continue on to Warton.
Couple of years after that at Prestwick
"Gxxxx turn final"
"Would that be in front of or behind the Lear Jet currently on final?"
"OH **** forgot about him. You better go behind him. And be aware you will be landing with a cargo 747 behind you so expedite ...."
Certainly got the blood pumping!
(Finally something made me register... long time lurker!)
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Wasn't me, but supposedly a true story. A GA aircraft was crossing the Schiphol CTR (class C), which is tricky but great fun. However, more or less overhead the field he managed to get himself slightly lost and overloaded, so ATC decided to give him vectors instead, and have some fun with him.
"PH-ABC now turn left XXX degrees"
"PH-ABC descend 300 feet"
"PH-ABC now turn right XXX degrees"
"PH-ABC now look right and wave"
The control tower at Schiphol is a little over 300 feet high so they were level with the tower, about 1 nm distant. And ATC was waving back.
"PH-ABC now turn left XXX degrees"
"PH-ABC descend 300 feet"
"PH-ABC now turn right XXX degrees"
"PH-ABC now look right and wave"
The control tower at Schiphol is a little over 300 feet high so they were level with the tower, about 1 nm distant. And ATC was waving back.
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Two true stories......
I was doing circuit training and part of the PPL was doing them at an international airport - the nearest to me being Dortmund which, although international, isn't that busy. There's me pounding my circuits when I heard "Air Berlin XX, ready for departure, Runway 24" Tower came back: "Air Berlin XX, hold short, Runway 24, Cessna on Final" to which came back: "Air Berlin XX, ready for IMMEDIATE Departure Runway 24" (with emphasis on the immediate) to which Tower said "Negative, Air Berlin XX, Hold short Runway 24, Cessna on short final". If looks from the Air Berlin Pilots could have killed, I would have been going home in a dustbin....
Waiting at an airfield to depart, I heard a pilot call out "request approximate time check" to which the tower responded "Sunday". It was very approximate, being a Saturday........
I was doing circuit training and part of the PPL was doing them at an international airport - the nearest to me being Dortmund which, although international, isn't that busy. There's me pounding my circuits when I heard "Air Berlin XX, ready for departure, Runway 24" Tower came back: "Air Berlin XX, hold short, Runway 24, Cessna on Final" to which came back: "Air Berlin XX, ready for IMMEDIATE Departure Runway 24" (with emphasis on the immediate) to which Tower said "Negative, Air Berlin XX, Hold short Runway 24, Cessna on short final". If looks from the Air Berlin Pilots could have killed, I would have been going home in a dustbin....
Waiting at an airfield to depart, I heard a pilot call out "request approximate time check" to which the tower responded "Sunday". It was very approximate, being a Saturday........
Last edited by Steve6443; 3rd Sep 2012 at 13:18.
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coolest Atc instruction ever
Ok so you all have waaaay cooler stories than me
I was just happy that I didn't boing my landing
It's funny , I've seen the Lancaster from Hamilton fly over so many times , I've gotten quite blasé about it !
I love living here !
I was just happy that I didn't boing my landing
It's funny , I've seen the Lancaster from Hamilton fly over so many times , I've gotten quite blasé about it !
I love living here !
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ATC - caution, there are two swans that appear to have been on final for 20 for the last 30 seconds or so, what are your intentions.
Did I say, I will position behind and try not to catch them up too quickly .. .. .. at the time sadly not.
Did I say, I will position behind and try not to catch them up too quickly .. .. .. at the time sadly not.
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Aye raunchie pace, but I bet you would have needed a wide body rating of some form, a set of ski's and a bag of flour to be able to do the job safely.
I flew into Inverness once in a twin in atrocious weather, hailstones the size of golf balls.
Only other aircraft was one of those Oceanic survey twin turbine things with a Russian female pilot! Voice sounded real sexy!
I had looked at a satellite trace seeing blood red west to East but clear over the islands to the west and struck up a great plan to get out of there.
I would fly down Loch ness below the clouds at 200 feet and once clear of weather work down over the islands towards the IOM and then WAL.
This lady knew the area better so I strolled over to run the idea over her!
She was gigantic in an immersion suit and not quite the picture the voice portrayed
She politely informed me that with the winds in the direction they were that I would get halfway down the loch and find the clouds on the surface so I followed her cunning plan and ended up around Aberdeen instead
All fun
Pace
Last edited by Pace; 3rd Sep 2012 at 18:01.
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Many years ago at Manchester I'm taxying a 172 from the South side to the then freight apron (near where T3 is today) for fuel. As I approach 24 on the taxyway there's a BA 757 on final.
"Tango Sierra, hold at Foxtrot (or whatever it was back then)".
"Hold at Fox, Tango Sierra".
The 75 swept past and I was cleared to cross the main and continue to the Freight. The 75 vacated, turned onto the taxyway, and began taxying back towards the Domestic Terminal (now T3) at quite a rate. It became clear our paths would cross!
"Tower, Tango Sierra. Confirm we are cleared all the way to the Freight Apron?"
"Tango Sierra affirm. Break. Shuttle Two Sierra give way to the Cessna, right to left".
The 757's nose visibly dipped as the power came off and the brakes went on. Almost like it was bowing to me!
"Shuttle Two Sierra, Wilco. Sail before steam!"
Another occasion stands in my memory even more....
I was flying our Chipmunk down the Manchester Low Level Route southbound and working Manchester Approach, when the BBMF came on frequency northbound in the Route. Near Winsford they came into sight, over on my left, the lancaster with a Hurricane on its right wingtip and a Spitfire on its left, nearest me.
"Sierra Lima do you have the BBMF in sight?"
"Affirm. Spitfire, Lanc, and Hurricane, Sierra Lima"
"BBMF do you have Sierra Lima in sight?"
"Yes, we have the Chippy" came the laconic reply from the Lanc.
At that moment the Spitfire peeled off the Lanc's wingtip and saluted us with a lovely barrel roll before dropping straight back into his formation position.
It was superbly done and really made my day!
"Tango Sierra, hold at Foxtrot (or whatever it was back then)".
"Hold at Fox, Tango Sierra".
The 75 swept past and I was cleared to cross the main and continue to the Freight. The 75 vacated, turned onto the taxyway, and began taxying back towards the Domestic Terminal (now T3) at quite a rate. It became clear our paths would cross!
"Tower, Tango Sierra. Confirm we are cleared all the way to the Freight Apron?"
"Tango Sierra affirm. Break. Shuttle Two Sierra give way to the Cessna, right to left".
The 757's nose visibly dipped as the power came off and the brakes went on. Almost like it was bowing to me!
"Shuttle Two Sierra, Wilco. Sail before steam!"
Another occasion stands in my memory even more....
I was flying our Chipmunk down the Manchester Low Level Route southbound and working Manchester Approach, when the BBMF came on frequency northbound in the Route. Near Winsford they came into sight, over on my left, the lancaster with a Hurricane on its right wingtip and a Spitfire on its left, nearest me.
"Sierra Lima do you have the BBMF in sight?"
"Affirm. Spitfire, Lanc, and Hurricane, Sierra Lima"
"BBMF do you have Sierra Lima in sight?"
"Yes, we have the Chippy" came the laconic reply from the Lanc.
At that moment the Spitfire peeled off the Lanc's wingtip and saluted us with a lovely barrel roll before dropping straight back into his formation position.
It was superbly done and really made my day!
Last edited by Shaggy Sheep Driver; 3rd Sep 2012 at 19:24.
"---Two-Niner-Papa you may wanna get closer in, you got some nasty thunder-boomers and weather coming your way"
I didn't need to be told twice as I was already on it!!!...
I didn't need to be told twice as I was already on it!!!...
At Martha's Vinyard: two runways in a T-pattern. GA landing on 15, up the stem of the T, commercials on 06/24 (along the top of the T). When I got there, there was one ahead already landed, still on runway 15, waiting to cross 06/24. Used to UK runway rules, just above the threshold I announced "runway occupied, going around".
ATC: "3,000 feet not enough for your 172? Get in there boy!"
ATC: "3,000 feet not enough for your 172? Get in there boy!"
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Not as cool as most of these, but when training out of Headcorn, we'd done one of our first sorties out of area, and had just switched back from Manston to Headcorn. My instructor wanted to demo a landing on the short unlicenced crosswind runway 21. So on contacting Headcorn I requested an approach for 21 and got my favourite ATC reply to date:
"Negative due llamas on the runway".
Not what you'd expect in the south-east of england, but then again flying from Headcorn nothing actually surprises you!
"Negative due llamas on the runway".
Not what you'd expect in the south-east of england, but then again flying from Headcorn nothing actually surprises you!