Taking children in your own plane - divorced parents
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JetSet747... may I suggest that the lesson is the same for single girls? 
Or did you forget that there are female pilots too, who might be reading this foum?
I think the message is to choose carefully... not that women are the only ones who make bad spouses?!?!
There are plenty of battered and broken women in society who receive no alimony and who could disprove that theory... just as there are many men broken men coping with irresponsible ex-wives who spend too much money on silly items to fill a void in their lives...
So let's keep it gender neutral, that way you won't invoke the wrath of the female pilot population! Remember, it's not a question of male and female on this forum... we all share one passion and that's the only reason we are here...
Or did you forget that there are female pilots too, who might be reading this foum?
I think the message is to choose carefully... not that women are the only ones who make bad spouses?!?!
There are plenty of battered and broken women in society who receive no alimony and who could disprove that theory... just as there are many men broken men coping with irresponsible ex-wives who spend too much money on silly items to fill a void in their lives... So let's keep it gender neutral, that way you won't invoke the wrath of the female pilot population! Remember, it's not a question of male and female on this forum... we all share one passion and that's the only reason we are here...
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The lawyers are indeed a huge problem, but it isn't really their doing to start with.
The problem is that no Court will approve a settlement (a Consent Order) unless both parties have been separately advised. OK, one can "just divorce" for £150 or whatever it is nowadays, and many people do this in ignorance, but this is hugely unwise because if one of the two does well in business, inherits, or gets rich in any other way, anytime including many years later, his/her former spouse can go after a slice of this new wealth - you have been separated with a Decree Absolute which means you can remarry but only a Consent Order draws a line under the assets. I know of several spectacular cases of this.
And the problem is that the lawyer is duty bound to advise you of the maximum you can extract from the other person. A decent lawyer will also advise what is reasonable, but not all lawyers are decent, and not all people are reasonable/sensible and some will take the legal advice at its face value and go for broke.
The occassionally amusing side effect of the need to get the CO approved is that if you divorce without it, and your former spouse goes personally bankrupt, his/her trustee in bankrupcy can go after your assets too.
The problem is that no Court will approve a settlement (a Consent Order) unless both parties have been separately advised. OK, one can "just divorce" for £150 or whatever it is nowadays, and many people do this in ignorance, but this is hugely unwise because if one of the two does well in business, inherits, or gets rich in any other way, anytime including many years later, his/her former spouse can go after a slice of this new wealth - you have been separated with a Decree Absolute which means you can remarry but only a Consent Order draws a line under the assets. I know of several spectacular cases of this.
And the problem is that the lawyer is duty bound to advise you of the maximum you can extract from the other person. A decent lawyer will also advise what is reasonable, but not all lawyers are decent, and not all people are reasonable/sensible and some will take the legal advice at its face value and go for broke.
The occassionally amusing side effect of the need to get the CO approved is that if you divorce without it, and your former spouse goes personally bankrupt, his/her trustee in bankrupcy can go after your assets too.
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Tipperary
Why should it put you off getting married?
Being the original poster, I married a girl who was afraid of flying.
To help her, i explained theory of flight, I took her in a PA28 on power runs on the runway with a few feet take off and in the end she happily flew with me all the way to Avignon and many more trips.
Now that I have a twin and I am divorced it seems her fear of flying (death of the kids!!!) has returned....
Well so be it.
However, I am getting remarried on February 9th (few days from now!). Divorce or loosing your loved one should never put you off finding happiness again.
And yes, many divorces have negative sides, for one as soon as you divorce the interests become individual, no longer mutual and this leads to complications, but the reality is:
The glass is not half empty, it is half full (and filling up!)
Being the original poster, I married a girl who was afraid of flying.
To help her, i explained theory of flight, I took her in a PA28 on power runs on the runway with a few feet take off and in the end she happily flew with me all the way to Avignon and many more trips.
Now that I have a twin and I am divorced it seems her fear of flying (death of the kids!!!) has returned....
Well so be it.
However, I am getting remarried on February 9th (few days from now!). Divorce or loosing your loved one should never put you off finding happiness again.
And yes, many divorces have negative sides, for one as soon as you divorce the interests become individual, no longer mutual and this leads to complications, but the reality is:
The glass is not half empty, it is half full (and filling up!)
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With regard to taking children flying - I think a lot about taking mine when they are old enough. I am undecided on the subject. When I fly myself I accept that there is a risk, and accept that risk. Is it fair of me to accept it for my young children? Dunno, but I would understand an ex's concern in that regard.
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To add to the stories..
I started my PPL just after I got divorced (suddenly found I had more money available at the end of each month!), I told my kids and they were excited about it as I was and looked forward to going flying with me one day. Months passed and after I gained the PPL they sudenly had a 'fear of flying' which had been instilled into them by their mother, she had convinced them that light aircraft flying was 'dangerous' and they refused to go flying with me. Feeling brave one day I took them to the airfield just to have a look and sit inside a PA28, my lad liked it but was very young, but my girls wouldn't even get inside it ! I tried a couple more times to interest them but eventaully gave up. So great was their fear of a) flying and b) going against what mother had said, they just wouldn't do it.
It didn't stop their mother taking them on commercial flights to Mexico of course, twice, in the Hurricane season on both occasions, and getting airlifted out to a safer place.. but Daddy's hobby is 'dangerous'.. yeh right !
I started my PPL just after I got divorced (suddenly found I had more money available at the end of each month!), I told my kids and they were excited about it as I was and looked forward to going flying with me one day. Months passed and after I gained the PPL they sudenly had a 'fear of flying' which had been instilled into them by their mother, she had convinced them that light aircraft flying was 'dangerous' and they refused to go flying with me. Feeling brave one day I took them to the airfield just to have a look and sit inside a PA28, my lad liked it but was very young, but my girls wouldn't even get inside it ! I tried a couple more times to interest them but eventaully gave up. So great was their fear of a) flying and b) going against what mother had said, they just wouldn't do it.
It didn't stop their mother taking them on commercial flights to Mexico of course, twice, in the Hurricane season on both occasions, and getting airlifted out to a safer place.. but Daddy's hobby is 'dangerous'.. yeh right !
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Children will always be loyal to the person who feeds them and dresses them.
There isn't anything one can do about that - even if one wanted to.
The best the man can do, I think, is to find a decent kind woman and make a happy home for himself, where the kids will feel at ease when they visit, and then things will start to work out OK. If the ex behaves in a spiteful manner, she will never be happy and laid-back and the kids will pick up on that. Eventually they will start to give her a hard time and she will realise she has to back off a bit, and let them do these "dangerous things" with their old man, otherwise they will make her life a misery. Eventually one reaches a reasonable situation, but it is likely to take years....
Sorting out a frequent contact, right at the outset, is the most important single thing.
There isn't anything one can do about that - even if one wanted to.
The best the man can do, I think, is to find a decent kind woman and make a happy home for himself, where the kids will feel at ease when they visit, and then things will start to work out OK. If the ex behaves in a spiteful manner, she will never be happy and laid-back and the kids will pick up on that. Eventually they will start to give her a hard time and she will realise she has to back off a bit, and let them do these "dangerous things" with their old man, otherwise they will make her life a misery. Eventually one reaches a reasonable situation, but it is likely to take years....
Sorting out a frequent contact, right at the outset, is the most important single thing.
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SimJock, it may sound unfair... but I think IO540 is right... although you might want to watch out for one thing... make sure that the nice lady will not complain about your expenditure on your little hobby...
I was brave enough to go on a date a few months ago when the chap concerned casually let drop in the conversation that he found my hobby very expensive and self-indulgent; he couldn't really see how I could continue to justify the expense in view of the financial crisis.... yeah, I thought
?
... not to mention the fortune I spend on university fees!
.... a terrifying experience, put me right off! So, beware of potential nagging etc. etc.; make sure this issue is cleared up from day one!
I was brave enough to go on a date a few months ago when the chap concerned casually let drop in the conversation that he found my hobby very expensive and self-indulgent; he couldn't really see how I could continue to justify the expense in view of the financial crisis.... yeah, I thought
?... not to mention the fortune I spend on university fees!
.... a terrifying experience, put me right off! So, beware of potential nagging etc. etc.; make sure this issue is cleared up from day one!
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vanHorck,
Congratulations mate! I wish you all the happiness ......
As a case in point, I'm also on marriage number 2. Just past the 'seven year itch', two wonderful kids (six and three years old) ..... and never been happier! Live and learn
My daughter keeps pestering me to take her flying again and again and .....
Congratulations mate! I wish you all the happiness ......
As a case in point, I'm also on marriage number 2. Just past the 'seven year itch', two wonderful kids (six and three years old) ..... and never been happier! Live and learn
My daughter keeps pestering me to take her flying again and again and .....
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make sure that the nice lady will not complain about your expenditure on your little hobby...
I was brave enough to go on a date a few months ago when the chap concerned casually let drop in the conversation that he found my hobby very expensive and self-indulgent; he couldn't really see how I could continue to justify the expense in view of the financial crisis.... yeah, I thought
I was brave enough to go on a date a few months ago when the chap concerned casually let drop in the conversation that he found my hobby very expensive and self-indulgent; he couldn't really see how I could continue to justify the expense in view of the financial crisis.... yeah, I thought
There is an old saying which goes... a man hopes the woman will not change (but she does), and the woman hopes the man will change (but he doesn't)
but if a keen pilot shacks up with someone who doesn't tolerate flying, they have only themselves to blame.
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Tipperary,Radar and IO540
Thank you for your best wishes! I will be off the PPRUNE air for a good week after the wedding if you don't mind..... :-)))))
I'm glad I've started this thread. Divorced parents have similar issues and reading how others solve the issue is always helpful even if circumstances differ.
Wise words have been spoken here, thank you and well done!
Thank you for your best wishes! I will be off the PPRUNE air for a good week after the wedding if you don't mind..... :-)))))
I'm glad I've started this thread. Divorced parents have similar issues and reading how others solve the issue is always helpful even if circumstances differ.
Wise words have been spoken here, thank you and well done!
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Getting the sack from my ex-wife was the best thing that ever happened to me! Ok, it cost me a lot initially but in the last 10 years I've:-
(1) Gained the highest possible qualifications in my profession (merchant navy).
(2) Spent 6 years successfully studying for a Open University BSc(Hons) in Maths & Economics.
(3) Got my PPL :-)
(4) Finally got to drive a car that I don't feel embarrassed to be seen in!
(5) Had a great relationship with my children.
(6) Been able to do what I want, when I want, with whoever I want.
None of this would have been possible while I was married. I've now become far too selfish to share my life with anyone. I have a girlfriend who thinks the same way. We both love our independent lives...if we meet up once a fortnight, we're happy! we have a theory that married couples would probably be better off living in separate houses and it seems it's actually not all that unusual.
I will admit that I've been luckier than most when it comes to divorce.
The "kids" are now 24 and 17...They can make up their own minds about flying.
(1) Gained the highest possible qualifications in my profession (merchant navy).
(2) Spent 6 years successfully studying for a Open University BSc(Hons) in Maths & Economics.
(3) Got my PPL :-)
(4) Finally got to drive a car that I don't feel embarrassed to be seen in!
(5) Had a great relationship with my children.
(6) Been able to do what I want, when I want, with whoever I want.
None of this would have been possible while I was married. I've now become far too selfish to share my life with anyone. I have a girlfriend who thinks the same way. We both love our independent lives...if we meet up once a fortnight, we're happy! we have a theory that married couples would probably be better off living in separate houses and it seems it's actually not all that unusual.
I will admit that I've been luckier than most when it comes to divorce.
The "kids" are now 24 and 17...They can make up their own minds about flying.
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I know of a couple who have both bought half of a two under one roof house (semi detached).
The made a door between the living rooms and a door between the bedrooms with locks on both sides.
If the doors are unlocked they can enter if they wish, if locked obviously they can't...
The made a door between the living rooms and a door between the bedrooms with locks on both sides.
If the doors are unlocked they can enter if they wish, if locked obviously they can't...
