How to Encourage People to Fly
Thread Starter
How to Encourage People to Fly
- Cancel online check in (because you need travellers to Italy to fill in a form - you could email the form, or expand APIS, or have a check in desk for people collecting forms, but no....)
- Make sure it takes longer to check in business class (40 minutes) than economy - lay out the queue as a snake so social distancing is not possible
- Enjoy watching your premium passengers twitch as they realise they are at risk of missing their flights....
- Close fast track (they paid extra to dodge the queue, but....)
- Close the lounge - but don't tell anyone you have done it
- Make sure as many food outlets in the terminal are closed as possible
- Board by row numbers - but don't police it, so when your premium passengers get on the luggage lockers are full
- Serve food in business class that is cheaper / less generous than an economy class offering ten years ago
- Make an announcement saying you are free to eat food you bought before boarding from the shops that are closed
- Don't give out the supplementary form you need to fill in on arrival on the plane
- After landing, ask people to stay in their seats - but don't intervene when they run down the aisle to be first off
- After landing, make people queue to complete the form (four at a time on arrival - so it takes an hour to clear immigration)
- Turn off the air con in the terminal so as not to circulate the virus
- Ask for feedback via a printed link to a survey on the boarding card
- Close the survey 12 hours after landing, thus avoiding feedback that might help you improve....
- Wait for the good news to spread on social media, wonder why passenger numbers are not recovering as fast as you had hoped.....
- Make sure it takes longer to check in business class (40 minutes) than economy - lay out the queue as a snake so social distancing is not possible
- Enjoy watching your premium passengers twitch as they realise they are at risk of missing their flights....
- Close fast track (they paid extra to dodge the queue, but....)
- Close the lounge - but don't tell anyone you have done it
- Make sure as many food outlets in the terminal are closed as possible
- Board by row numbers - but don't police it, so when your premium passengers get on the luggage lockers are full
- Serve food in business class that is cheaper / less generous than an economy class offering ten years ago
- Make an announcement saying you are free to eat food you bought before boarding from the shops that are closed
- Don't give out the supplementary form you need to fill in on arrival on the plane
- After landing, ask people to stay in their seats - but don't intervene when they run down the aisle to be first off
- After landing, make people queue to complete the form (four at a time on arrival - so it takes an hour to clear immigration)
- Turn off the air con in the terminal so as not to circulate the virus
- Ask for feedback via a printed link to a survey on the boarding card
- Close the survey 12 hours after landing, thus avoiding feedback that might help you improve....
- Wait for the good news to spread on social media, wonder why passenger numbers are not recovering as fast as you had hoped.....
I suppose another valid title might have been "How to ensure your airline goes bust as quickly as possible". 
Mind you at least the the UK government is doing its best to accomplish that anyway.....
Mind you at least the the UK government is doing its best to accomplish that anyway.....
Join Date: Dec 2003
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When I read the above, I do genuinely sympathise for those who have to fly and endure some or all of the above. I'm lucky, I can simply postpone all flying UFN. Thus no hassles for me! Just remains to be seen how many airlines will be left at the end of this global aviation disaster.
Join Date: Sep 2002
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What is your airline? I guess you might be referring to BA, were it to fold I am sure the slack would be quickly filled by others, which has been happening for years anyway.
