Amusing nonsense

[Fantome]

In Bob Hoover's book FOREVER FLYING . he tells of his POW days at the end of the war and how he and his mate thought they could get away in a He111 .
There were many such aircraft parked around a field in NE Germany so to pull off this one required only a short hop over to Sweden. Bob and old mate were out of their camp on a day labouring detail. The plan they hatched was to carry a long pole between them past the parked kraut aircraft having already earmarked their chosen one. They laid the pole carefully on the ground. No guards anywhere in sight. They got into the Heinkel . Bob had already some days or weeks before got hold of some pilot's notes. They had both engines primed and ready to try a start when a guard on his motorbike spotted them. He told the two Americans verboten get out of here and stay away from the aircrafts . . . ( Seem to remember there was an instance or two of escape by enemy aircraft )

[Heathrow Harry]

Know a company in Calgary that lost a load of IT kit one lunchtime to the man with the clipboard............................................

[jimtherev]

And Broadcasting House (BBC) in 1959 lost not one but three grand pianos in 1958-9. (three separate occasions)
Well, the nice men had clipboards with authentic repair orders and white coats with Steinway across the back. What could possibly be wrong with that?

[vctenderness]

I seem to remember back in the 80's or 90's a team of employees at BA were stealing Tristar APU's.

I don't remember all of the details (maybe someone else will) but it only came to light when BA bought a used APU and when they looked at the serial numbers realised it was one of theirs!

Beat that!

[Mr Mac]

I have worked in the construction industry all my life apart from a s short spell with RTR2 as a Rupert, so the list of lost kit is legendry. Personally my own biggest losses on a project were a Temporary Bridge (I was junior engineer so did not have to explain that one) and two Caterpillar Dozers on a different job which I did have to do the paper work for. The CATS turned up in Kuwait apparently some 12 months later on one of our projects, and we tried to have them impounded as stolen property, but anyone who has worked there will know the world does not work like that in that neck of the woods, but our accounts dept made a good stab at it before admitting defeat.
Fantome
There is a tale of 2nr Luftwaffe officers escaping from a POW camp in UK Lake District and stowed away on trains and got down to Suffolk where they purloined a small A/C to make good their escape, but when airborne found there was insufficient fuel . They landed and the British Home Guard came to the rescue thinking they had crashed. The two German officers made out they were Poles and that they were out of fuel. The HG turned the A/C around and dispatched one of their number for fuel. Unfortunately before he returned a regular soldier happened upon the scene recognised the German uniforms and the game was up for the two German officers, but not a bad stab at an escape.


Regards
Mr Mac

[RAT 5]

Bloke wanted some sand for his garden patio bedding. He saw a large pile of council sand at the end of a street in his village. Too good an opportunity to miss. In the middle of the night, complete with trailer, he drove to the pile and started uploading shovels full of sand. When he was half done and the trailer was half loaded, Mr. Plod strolled past and stopped. "ere ere, you can't be dumping sand here. Load it all back up again and be off with you."

[Heathrow Harry]

" only came to light when BA bought a used APU and when they looked at the serial numbers realised it was one of theirs"

ahh that old stores dodge - out the back-door and then buy it in again through the front.......

[RAT 5]

I wonder if BA did the same with the autoland on their L1011's? They paid money to have the standard kit removed at delivery, but then I suspect they paid again to have it retro-installed later on. To be corrected by retired insiders.

[Herod]

Then there were the Scottish students who stole the Stone of Scone (Scotland's historic throne, on which all Scottish monarchs have been crowned) from Westminster, back in the fifties. I believe they were rumbled when someone spotted it in their greenhouse, which just goes to prove that people who live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

[old,not bold]

As a very junior Rupert in an RA Regiment in Hong Kong, I was responsible for a water trailer (£500, nearly 6 month's pay) which went missing while in my charge.

The Quartermaster was sympathetic, unusually, and on his next return of items "Beyond Economical Repair, Scrapped Locally" he included a Bottle, Water.

He waited for about 6 months to allow the paperwork to go through the system and into storage.

Then he sent a Correction to the return, ie "Item No nnnn/xxxx/nnnn/date - for Bottle, read Trailer". Weeks later, a bored depot clerk clipped that to the original return, and the QM struck the Trailer, Water from my inventory, just before the next Admin Inspection.

I'm sorry, Ma'am, but needs must.

[Heathrow Harry]

there's an old Sci-fi story about someone in Starfleet or similar doing that to an item they can't find but listed as "offog" - when the Admin Inspection is due they send in a routine message that the "offog" came apart under gravitational stress and was fed in to the engines........

It was a typo for "official dog".............. and the panic is universe wide...........

[Wageslave]

A mate of mine was involved in a Junglie E and E exercise and during his travels came across one of the adjudicator's Land Rovers unattended which he regarded as fair game and borrowed it to save him walking out of the exercise. In his return to wherever the finishing line was he passed several of the hunters who recognised the vehicle and waved him on. He just left the vehicle in a car park near the finishing point and ran the rest, not mentioning the Land Rover bit. The landie was not found as they weren't looking for it in carparks...
A helluva stink erupted when the vehicle was reported stolen and he had to fess up. The subsequent carpeting was only going to end badly as the brass (Marines I think) with pride piqued were out for blood having had their security and checking procedures so badly shown up by a mere Lt. pilot but his defence was that the exercise briefing was to use all initiative and legal means to evade capture and no mention was made of not borrowing a service vehicle that he was licenced to drive. He got away with it, just. The powers were furious.

[aerobelly]

Originally Posted by Heathrow Harry

there's an old Sci-fi story about someone in Starfleet or similar doing that to an item they can't find but listed as "offog" - when the Admin Inspection is due they send in a routine message that the "offog" came apart under gravitational stress and was fed in to the engines........

It was a typo for "official dog".............. and the panic is universe wide...........

"Allamagoosa" by Eric Frank Russell. Won a Hugo Award in 1955.

Good yarn.


'a

[Heathrow Harry]

Thanks! thats the one - with the Admiral of Checking Things (sorry - SpaceFleet Audit) who knows nothing but is a dab hand at ticking off checklists......................