Ryanair - Longhaul (Merged)
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Ryanair - Longhaul (Merged)
RYANAIR TO OFFER £8 TRANSATLANTIC
RYANAIR is to become the first budget carrier to fly passengers to New York for less than a tenner.
The airline said the new £8 service would bear all the ****ty hallmarks of a typically soul destroying Ryanair experience.
The in-flight meal will involve a catering box of Wotsits emptied into the aisle followed by an angry free-for-all.
But for an extra £10 passengers can upgrade to their own, individually wrapped, Kraft cheese single and a sachet of HP-style sauce.
In-flight entertainment will include Highlander III: The Sorcerer, starring Christopher Lambert as Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod, as well as episode five of the second series of Rings on Their Fingers featuring Martin Jarvis as 'Oliver' and Diane Keen as 'Sandy'.
A Ryanair spokesman stressed the advertised fare did not include a series of inexplicable, fake-sounding supplements which are likely to bring the total cost to around £1,214.
Travel industry analyst Wayne Hayes said: "These days most people are happy to pay the extra fifty quid not to be punched squarely in the face as they board the aircraft."
The spokesman added: "As the transatlantic flight will involve around eight hours of unremitting hellishness as opposed to the Ryanair average of three, we will be offering a supplementary suicide pack containing a cyanide biscuit and 100ml of household bleach."
Willie, the wolves are closing in and yer days are numbered.
RYANAIR is to become the first budget carrier to fly passengers to New York for less than a tenner.
The airline said the new £8 service would bear all the ****ty hallmarks of a typically soul destroying Ryanair experience.
The in-flight meal will involve a catering box of Wotsits emptied into the aisle followed by an angry free-for-all.
But for an extra £10 passengers can upgrade to their own, individually wrapped, Kraft cheese single and a sachet of HP-style sauce.
In-flight entertainment will include Highlander III: The Sorcerer, starring Christopher Lambert as Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod, as well as episode five of the second series of Rings on Their Fingers featuring Martin Jarvis as 'Oliver' and Diane Keen as 'Sandy'.
A Ryanair spokesman stressed the advertised fare did not include a series of inexplicable, fake-sounding supplements which are likely to bring the total cost to around £1,214.
Travel industry analyst Wayne Hayes said: "These days most people are happy to pay the extra fifty quid not to be punched squarely in the face as they board the aircraft."
The spokesman added: "As the transatlantic flight will involve around eight hours of unremitting hellishness as opposed to the Ryanair average of three, we will be offering a supplementary suicide pack containing a cyanide biscuit and 100ml of household bleach."
Willie, the wolves are closing in and yer days are numbered.
Join Date: Aug 2002
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I read a lot on these pages about Ryanair, mostly bad. However, having flown with them probably about twenty or so times, I've never had a bad experience.
I don't pay much, so expectations are lower to begin with. If you're not careful, you might get caught out by the baggage allowance (only once if you have any sense) but this is explained clearly in the T's & C's so not really their fault. The food on board is pricey but you can bring your own. The crew are invariably efficient and friendly.
Now, I don't know about working for them but as a passenger, you certainly seem to get what you pay for.
I don't pay much, so expectations are lower to begin with. If you're not careful, you might get caught out by the baggage allowance (only once if you have any sense) but this is explained clearly in the T's & C's so not really their fault. The food on board is pricey but you can bring your own. The crew are invariably efficient and friendly.
Now, I don't know about working for them but as a passenger, you certainly seem to get what you pay for.
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Ryanair perpetual-motion machine
Mr O'Leary has announced his intention to offer transatlantic flights for only ten pounds.
By my reckoning the cost purely to buy the fuel to carry 80kgs or so across the pond is many times this...and that's assuming Mr O'Leary can find a nice person to give him some wide-bodies for free, and some crews to fly them for no money. Does anyone have any suggestions how this master plan will work?
By my reckoning the cost purely to buy the fuel to carry 80kgs or so across the pond is many times this...and that's assuming Mr O'Leary can find a nice person to give him some wide-bodies for free, and some crews to fly them for no money. Does anyone have any suggestions how this master plan will work?
Well, one suspects there might be a few extra charges (all amounts in Pond Sterling):
Booking Fee: 20
Credit card Fee: 10
Check-in Fee: 13,75
Bag Fee: 45 per bag (let's assume you'll be carrying only one)
Seat-allocation Fee: 35
Boarding Fee: 8
That's 64,75 so far.
Fuel Surcharge: 200
Bringing us to 264,75
Food: 50
Drinks: 35
IFE: 25
Head-sets: 10
TV-Guide: 5
We're now up to 391,75. Add a tenner for the ticket, and you might as well hunt for a bargain on BA or VS!
Booking Fee: 20
Credit card Fee: 10
Check-in Fee: 13,75
Bag Fee: 45 per bag (let's assume you'll be carrying only one)
Seat-allocation Fee: 35
Boarding Fee: 8
That's 64,75 so far.
Fuel Surcharge: 200
Bringing us to 264,75
Food: 50
Drinks: 35
IFE: 25
Head-sets: 10
TV-Guide: 5
We're now up to 391,75. Add a tenner for the ticket, and you might as well hunt for a bargain on BA or VS!
Warning Toxic!
Disgusted of Tunbridge
Disgusted of Tunbridge
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Don't forget 'Toilet charge'!
Are we being a little naive here? Half a dozen tickets at basement price, by the time you get to 40% bookings, price pretty well up with legacy carriers. Then you look at the return fare...........
Are we being a little naive here? Half a dozen tickets at basement price, by the time you get to 40% bookings, price pretty well up with legacy carriers. Then you look at the return fare...........
can't resist . . . . . . ! !
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Strake
I agree with you - Ryanair are my carrier of choice. Seem to be best on price and time-keeping plus their cabin crews seem as friendly as any other carrier's (far better than it was travelling business class by Lufthansa or BA when I was working for a living).
I agree with you - Ryanair are my carrier of choice. Seem to be best on price and time-keeping plus their cabin crews seem as friendly as any other carrier's (far better than it was travelling business class by Lufthansa or BA when I was working for a living).
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modelflyer,
I fly business long haul with VS and mainly short business with BA but there's a few regular trips to Spain that I do with Ryanair and I do enjoy them.
Now, it may be because there're normally taken for a long weekend to do a bit of Golf or Scuba diving with some friends rather than the pressure of business but...they haven't let me down yet.
I fly business long haul with VS and mainly short business with BA but there's a few regular trips to Spain that I do with Ryanair and I do enjoy them.
Now, it may be because there're normally taken for a long weekend to do a bit of Golf or Scuba diving with some friends rather than the pressure of business but...they haven't let me down yet.
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I use Ryanair frequently (50-odd sectors in the last 12 months, for instance) and I can't recall anything of significance going wrong. Great punctuality, newish 'planes, good onboard service and unbeatable ticket prices (for the routes/dates/times I travel). Not a case of "you get what you pay for" but "you get more than you pay for".
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The latest news from Mick is that he intends to buy cheap long-haul aircraft from dying European airlines.
There's two rotting Silverjet B767-200s at Shannon if he wants them...
There's two rotting Silverjet B767-200s at Shannon if he wants them...
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I don't know much about Ryanair but from what I understand the idea of using new airplanes all the time, to shut up naysayers and reduce maintenance costs has worked well so far, and I don't think they would change that for long haul, if it ever happens.
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My holiday reading (of choice) in Antigua last year was "Ryanair"
I couldn't put it down........ I think that secretly everybody wants to be a MO'L ( I would with some a***holes there are in the world).
As for the airline, I use LPL and easyJet if possible, but if there is a bargain to be had then it has to be done (I paid £9.98 return to Valencia in June with Ryan), and its surprising how much you can get into a 10kg carry on to avoid baggage charges
I couldn't put it down........ I think that secretly everybody wants to be a MO'L ( I would with some a***holes there are in the world).
As for the airline, I use LPL and easyJet if possible, but if there is a bargain to be had then it has to be done (I paid £9.98 return to Valencia in June with Ryan), and its surprising how much you can get into a 10kg carry on to avoid baggage charges
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Ryanair long haul?
The legacy carriers will murder them.
Long haul is a very different model to short (at which FR are experienced and know what they are doing.)
As for them offering business class accomodation, I'm someone who buys a serious amount of C/J/F travel and I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.
Great choice for people looking for a cut price deal around Europe, not in the frame for serious business use (i.e. long haul.)
The legacy carriers will murder them.
Long haul is a very different model to short (at which FR are experienced and know what they are doing.)
As for them offering business class accomodation, I'm someone who buys a serious amount of C/J/F travel and I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.
Great choice for people looking for a cut price deal around Europe, not in the frame for serious business use (i.e. long haul.)
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I'd quite like to see what the business class offering would be. I have a feeling it would be quite quirky.
Maybe the standard fare would be Lambrusco or Blue Nun on the wine list, then prawn cocktail or sirloin steak a la Berni '78 or, for £500 you could upgrade to a pint of Guinness and something created by Floyd...
I think it's got legs.....
Maybe the standard fare would be Lambrusco or Blue Nun on the wine list, then prawn cocktail or sirloin steak a la Berni '78 or, for £500 you could upgrade to a pint of Guinness and something created by Floyd...
I think it's got legs.....
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Well laugh if you like, but I like Ryaniar. 
They have allowed me & Mrs S to go to lots of interesting cities in Europe for next to nothing over many years. Sure you get nothing on board - suites us fine. New planes and in our experience always on time. If you want to pay full costs, chose a full service airline.
Come on Willie get the longhaul moving asap.
Skintman and woman
They have allowed me & Mrs S to go to lots of interesting cities in Europe for next to nothing over many years. Sure you get nothing on board - suites us fine. New planes and in our experience always on time. If you want to pay full costs, chose a full service airline.Come on Willie get the longhaul moving asap.
Skintman and woman
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Well laugh if you like, but I like Ryaniar. They have allowed me & Mrs S to go to lots of interesting cities in Europe for next to nothing over many years. Sure you get nothing on board - suites us fine. New planes and in our experience always on time. If you want to pay full costs, chose a full service airline.
Come on Willie get the longhaul moving asap.
Skintman and woman
They have allowed me & Mrs S to go to lots of interesting cities in Europe for next to nothing over many years. Sure you get nothing on board - suites us fine. New planes and in our experience always on time. If you want to pay full costs, chose a full service airline.Come on Willie get the longhaul moving asap.
Skintman and woman
just come back from 3 days of glorious sunshine, all for the princely sum of £35, thanks Ryanair
