Pax flying nerves - what to do?

[X-QUORK]

I'm slightly ashamed to ask this, especially having been involved with aviation for 12 years in the forces, but can anyone give me some advice with regards to solving flying nerves? I find it very hard to relax on flights as a pax, I'm not sure why - maybe some sort of "issue" I need to sort out with a shrink. I understand the principles of flight, I know all the facts and figures and just how safe modern passenger aviation is compared to all other types of transport - yet still I become quite anxious an hour or two prior to the flight.

The only thing that helps is if I have a few stiff drinks (without getting completely legless, just pleasantly and quietly inebriated). This helps with the anxiety, but it's no good if you have to drive a car once you arrive and I hate starting a holiday with a hangover. I'm also aware that there are flight safety issues regarding drinking on flights both for pax and crew and would hate to become a hindrance should the sh*t hit the fan in an emergency. (I would re-iterate that I have never and would never become aggressive when drinking, so I'm no pi$$ed up idiot giving the flight crew a hard time).

Can anyone offer advice about how to cope with flying nerves without the need to hit the bottle? Are there any prescription drugs that might be a little more effective without the drunkenness that alcohol induces? Your thoughts would be most appreciated.

Regards

X-Q

[SLF]

X - it helps with the hangover if you rehearse regularly with the alcohol...

Seriously, I'm pretty sanguine about flying; when your number's up, it's up - there's no point in worrying about it.

On long haul, a friend swears by cold remedies, one swig on boarding and he passes out for about 8 hours. Fine unless there's a problem, but of course he wouldn't care...

[MerchantVenturer]

This link to a forum dedicated to fear of flying might be of some help. At least it is possible to discuss with like-minded people the fear of flying assisted by sympathetic moderators.

http://www.airdisaster.com/forums/vi...71f91e58c0eba6

[PAXboy]

I have a phobia myself (unrelated to flying but it can overlap on a few occasions) and I have not found any way to control the stupid behaviour of my mind. When the circumstances are 'right', the phobia emerges so fast that I have no time to fight it!

I think that MV's suggestion is the right one. All carriers urge pax not to take sedatives before a flight. If they do not know what you have taken, they might think you are comatose/ill and divert. That would cost more than your holiday ...

--------------------
"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different." Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

[Anthony Carn]

Well, first of all I don't agree with the alchohol "solution", but that's a personal opinion.

Your worries are normal. Self preservation/fleeing instincts and all that. It's the calm ones who are odd !

See your Doctor ? There are drugs available, although that's a bit drastic ?

If you travel a lot, then some airlines run courses for nervous fliers, or they should be able to put you on to organisations which run courses.


If nothing else, you should be reassured by the knowledge that you're being taken care of by pilots like me........ *gibber*..... *twitch*..... *dribble*.....

[EDDNHopper]

Your worries are normal.

Exactly - and it sometimes helps to remember that.

Then, there are a few tricks that, while they might not reduce your nervousness on the ground, help once in the air:
1. If you can, choose a seat as far in the front of the cabin as possible. When you look in front of you, you won´t see the looong cabin and your fellow pax, and this reduces claustrophobia (which is often associated with fear of flying), and that again helps to relax.
2. Choose a window seat, because an active visual perception of the "outside environment" helps your brain to sort out, and cope with, unfamiliar sensations caused by acceleration, turns, etc. Or, choose an aisle seat, if you prefer more space around you rather than actively perceive the outside. Find out what is better for you.
3. Hold on very tight to your armrest, hold your breath and strain your arm and leg muscels as hard as you can, for about 10 seconds. Exhale and relax. The "artificial" tension brought about by yourself helps to reduce your heartbeat, the mental concentration helps to distract from your nervousness. It works!
4. Drinking half a glass of cold, sparcling mineral water also reduces heartbeat because of a sudden stimulation of a certain nerve in your throat.

Finally - and I know many here will disagree - , there is nothing wrong with taking a small (!) dose of drugs an hour before boarding if you feel you can´t cope with the nervousness. Modern drugs will do less harm to your body then the ongoing anxiety does. (In that case, refrain from drinking, though!) "Consult your doctor!"

[BrightonGirl]

X-QUORK:

Try a homeopathic remedy called Bach Rescue Remedy, which is made in England, so you'll probably find it easily if you ask a homeopathic chemist. It's for anxiety and stress.

It comes in a little bottle with a dropper, and you just put 4 drops (personally, I go for 5 or 6) under your tongue. Or you can put it in some water.

I take my dose when I settle in my seat (except for one flight when the top was stuck and it took me the first 500 miles or so to get it off), and it seems to work for me. It may be just psychosomatic, and I'll never know for sure, but I've used it on 4 round-trip flights in the last 14 months or so, and I've come through them well.

I also tend to tell at least one person on the cabin crew that I'm a white-knuckle flyer; we both know there's nothing they can do, of course, but it makes me feel good to share this information rather than have it be my dreaded secret. They take this well, realizing that I'm just venting.

There's another reason to sit as far forward as possible, besides what EDDNHopper said about claustrophobia -- you feel less effect from turbulance if you're forward of the plane's center of gravity. You actually bounce around less there than in the very back, according to the pilot of a 30-odd-seater on which I once took a very turbulent ride sitting in the very last row. Apparently, the plane flexes. (Maybe on a big one this is negligible, but I want to cover all bases.)

I hate to forego the window seat, but when you sit as close to the center of the plane as possible, you experience less movement when the plane banks (because you actually move less when you're closer to the fulcrum), whether in turns or just because of turbulence. (I believe I learned this from someone on pprune!)

In a widebody, this presents a bit of a problem, because I hate to have to climb over a lot of people to use the rest room. Fortunately for me, I've been flying the narrower planes, for the most part.

Strangely, although what EDDNHopper says about visual clues sounds sensible, I've found that I "sense" less movement without them. In fact, I've discovered that I feel quite safe and secure in the rest room. There have been times when I've made my way there during a fair amount of turbulence (if I'm determined, I don't care if I have to crawl up the aisle on my tummy to get there) and once I'm in that cosy little room, with no visual clues, I feel better about riding in something that goes through the air.

I've seriously considered writing to airlines to suggest they put seatbelts in there.

Eventually, of course, you have to come out. You don't want people to start lining up and pounding on the door. And you certainly don't want the cabin crew to get the inkling that you think of it as your alternate assigned seat.

One last thing: I have felt much more secure since I've been reading pprune! Because I know now that there are system redundancies, and that pilots practice all sorts of things regularly in the sim. I've told myself that I need not panic at the appearance of smoke, that the plane can fly with an engine out, etc. The first thing I check is Rumors & News so I can read about all the flights on which there were "problems" that made perfectly safe landings (though not necessarily at their planned destinations). And I love the attitude amongst so many here that handling these problems is exactly what they're trained to do. Makes me more confident. Also, it's impressive how much these pilots know about their planes.

[X-QUORK]

Many thanks for all your suggestions folks, I'm most grateful. I've found the link to the Fear of Flying forum very interesting and quite reassuring - thanks Merchant Venturer .

BrightonGirl,

I've actually tried the Rescue Remedy and it didn't really work for me, although I have heard it works well for some folks. As for the seating position on board, maybe I'll try and get a seat near the front next time - but one never seems to get much say these days.

It's weird, I'm not claustrophobic, don't suffer badly from vertigo (anymore than normal....done plenty of climbing at height etc) and I damn well know how safe modern flight is....it's just a totally irrational fear that something might go wrong. I sometimes wonder if it has anything to do with losing some mates in a couple of chopper accidents whilst serving in the forces - the mind is a powerful and complex thing.

Many thanks all.

Regards

X-Q

[BrightonGirl]

I want to thank Merchant Venturer, also, for that link. I've skimmed through some of their posts this afternoon and will go back to it. I'm very thankful that I've never had the severe panic symptoms that many report... just a quiet, cold terror. And as I've said, I'm much, much better now.

[sixmilehighclub]

On long haul, a friend swears by cold remedies, one swig on boarding and he passes out for about 8 hours. Fine unless there's a problem, but of course he wouldn't care...

Fine, providing you're sitting in a window seat, not at an exit, and not blocking anyone elses exit in an evacuation. Please let a crew member know what you have taken and how it is likely to affect you. They do monitor everyone.

I used to love flying, then was involved in an emergency landing (undercarriage wouldnt deploy). Still, I decided to continue with my ambition to become cabin crew. The next flight I did was on my familiarisation flight when the trainer decided to put us through a mock emergency scenario of guess what, undercarriage failure!! I was petrified, but got through it and havent been nervous since. Sure I've had other emergencies since, fires and failures, but having knowledge gained from crew training about what could happen and different ways it can be handled or overcome, I no longer get nervous. Knowledge is power.

For anyone who is a nervous flyer, I always ask if they get nervous in the passenger seat of a car. If so, it is maybe down to the fear of not being in control. The best way round this is to talk to pilots and learn how much knowledge and control they have. Car drivers know how to drive the car, but not necessarily know how the car works or how to fix it. This is where pilots differ.

Also a humans head naturally moves into the same direction as what you are focussing on. During travel it is natural to be looking in the direction you are moving. Looking out of an aircraft side window disorientates the brain, however, it is the best view in the world, I have seen the most amazing sunsets!!

[Lily Rowan]

X-QUORK,

Even though I’ve always loved airplanes, and I’ve been flying since I was born, I started to develop a fear of flying in the mid 90’s. It snuck up on me gradually, first with nervousness about flights on small airplanes and LCCs, and finally culminating about two years ago with a fit of crying before boarding and take-off in a BA 777. (A big thank you goes out to the FA on that flight who said to me, in a very reassuring and non-condescending manner, “If the flight wasn’t safe, I wouldn’t be on it” – sometimes, that’s all a nervous flyer wants to hear). Ten minutes into that BA flight, I was fine and happily looking out the window – and that seems to be the point that I just got over it and started enjoying flying again.

I grew up around aviation and knew all about safety measures and the statistics – it didn’t matter. The fatalistic sentiment “when your time’s up, you time’s up!” was of no help either as I was not ready for my time to be up!

Even though I’m mostly over it, I can still get a bit nervous before a flight – but I make every effort to control it because I don’t want the fear to become paralyzing as it almost once did. The fear of flying, as you’ve said, is completely psychological, and psychological tricks have worked for me – they’re just as irrational as the fear itself, and that’s the beauty if it!

• For control issues, I just remind myself that 2 highly-qualified individuals are in control of the aircraft, and that is infinitely better and safer than if I were in control. Also, getting up and walking around the aircraft (if it’s OK) helps me a bit because I am no longer confined to a seat.
• For turbulence, I remind myself that the only way turbulence can be fatal is if I am not strapped into my seat. Also, when flying over land, it helps me to look out the window because I can predict light turbulence – over mountains, at the edge of bodies of water, flying into or over heavy clouds, etc. Also, for any flight crew reading, I’ve always appreciated an estimation, in the “turbulence” PA, of how long it would last (I’ve also appreciated the times when, during the initial PA of the flight, the flight crew let us know if any turbulence was expected and when we could expect it – for example, 90 minutes into flight, etc.)
• The best trick I use (and one that has worked for my friends, too) is to count the seconds after the wheels leave the ground on take-off. An ex-boyfriend, who was a commercial pilot, told me once, while scoffing at my fear, that thirty-seconds into a flight, everything is fine. True or not, I count up to thirty seconds after take off, and I relax a little bit. One minute in, a little bit more. And by 5 minutes into the flight, I am happily looking out the window and enjoying the flight!

Hopefully one of these might help you, too. Good luck!

[Wot No Engines]

Get yourself along to a flying club and have a few lessons. The things that always used to concern me were:

• Not being able to see in front
• Sudden changes in noise
• A feeling of falling

All of these can be overcome in a few lessons. The feeling of falling is usually just a change in rate of climb - your still going up, but feel as if the plane is going down.

Once you get used to what the pilot sees, then there is no need to keep seeing it.

The change in engine speed took the longest for me to get over, especially when shortly after takeoff - I knew it was generally due to either noise abatement, or ATC reasons, but the engines throttling back with no warning is disconcerting, so a request to all pilots, please let us know that this will happen and when, even if it is before leaving the stand.

If you get a chance for a few lessons in a glider, you will have a stall demonstrated very early, and also be expected to stall the glider yourself. This is a great way of seeing that aircraft actually want to fly and don't just fall out of the sky at the slightest excuse.

[bealine]

Even though I’ve always loved airplanes, and I’ve been flying since I was born, I started to develop a fear of flying in the mid 90’s

This is much more common than a lot of people realise, and I have even known a Cabin Crew member to succumb to the onset of irrational fear. He said, in his case, it was the simple fact that he was placing his life and limbs in someone else's hands and he had no control over the aeroplane, or his own destiny. He knew by the statistics that flying is the safest form of travel, but fear eventually overcame his logic. He worked on the ground at Gatwick for a couple of years, and then graduated to Waterworld (affectionate euphemism for BA's Head Office)!

(BTW, said ex-Cabin Crew member has managed to regain some confidence and flew with his family for a holiday last year!)

It may be some comfort to you nervous people to know that for every one of you that grits your teeth and goes through with the ordeal, five stay at home and won't even book a flight - so, for your bravery, we salute you!

[ssultana]

Try to develop a more insoucient attitude to your personal safety(difficult if you have children). I don't have a death wish but i have a very carefree attitude regarding my own mortality. Being dead surely isn't that bad, i've never heard anyone complain about it. A mid air collision is better than a protracted lung cancer. If you can cultivate this attitude coupled with the knowledge that flying is safe, you will be fine.

Best Regards, 'the ssultana of pprune'

[Avman]

I had no fear of flying for years then it suddenly crept up on me. I hated turbulence especially in bad weather or at night. Six years ago I had a heart attack and was clinically dead for several minutes. It's a long story but I survived it thanks to a considerable amount of luck. It cured my fear of flying!

What I often say to people is how often to they get into their car to drive a few miles down the road thinking "today I may die"? Yet, statistically there is a far greater chance of that happening than dying in an air accident.

[Octopussy2]

I can really empathise with some of the posts here. I have been scared of flying for nearly as long as I can remember. It's always the same process - for weeks before the flight I wake up in a cold sweat, dreading the flight - sometimes I have dreams about crashing as well. At the airport, I get more and more tight-lipped until I can barely be civil to the poor person travelling with me. I hate boarding - I can't get over the feeling that I am voluntarily going to my doom. Usually at some point before take-off, I start to cry...I spend the first hour or so jumping out of my skin, having heard strange noises that are apparently inaudible to anyone else...

the funny thing is, after that, I calm down and I'm ok (though feeling those wheels touch the tarmac at the end is the nicest feeling I know). And of course, I always feel a bit silly afterwards.

I should say this hasn't stopped me; I've flown all over the world - I love travelling and I would hate it if I couldn't, so I force myself to get on the damn plane.

This is particularly sensitive for me at the moment, because I'm about to go on a dream holiday, which will be our last one on our own for while, due to the arrival (fingers crossed) of Octopussy Jnr in August. It's a big deal because the holiday will be great, but I can see that my husband is thinking "is this the time when she finally lets it get the better of her and refuses to get on the plane?"

I'm worse about long flights, so we've broken it up a bit - spending a couple of nights each way in Dubai on the way to the Maldives, - knowing none of the flights will be longer than about 6 hours actually really helps (which isn't logical, but hey, who said phobias had to be?)

I don't really have any advice, except don't let it beat you - and keep reading Pprune. To reduce it to its most basic level, I find it comforting that all these flying types seem to survive week after week, so maybe it's safe after all...

[X-QUORK]

Thanks to everyone for your kind words of advice - very comforting ! I have to say that I'm already feeling less jumpy about my next flight - so I guess it helps just to know you're not the only person who gets all irrational when it comes to that gate call.

Wot No Engines,

I do actually have some stick time (did about 12 hours on the Chipmunk), didn't go solo, but managed to fly the circuits, T/O and landings, and do a couple of loops. I wasn't scared once (maybe a little unnerved the first time we put the a/c into a stall), but I think the lack of fear had something to do with the fact that I didn't have time to think about it too much, too bloody busy learning things! The other thing was that I had an element of control over my own destiny - even if I was a total beginner. The strange thing is, I have total confidence in the guys at the pointy end...so it's not a trust issue.

I think SSultana has it when suggesting I develop a more insoucient attitude to my personal safety, there's really no point going through life being worried about what might happen - ain't gonna help me none if the brown stuff hits the fan is it?

Thanks again fellow PPRuNers....good folks one and all

[Pax Vobiscum]

Never forget that you're more likely to die crossing the Cromwell Road than crossing the Atlantic (and the bus drivers from Victoria to LHR try to make sure it stays that way ).

[Curious Pax]

I suffer from a fear of flying to a degree, though fortunately not to the extent that many posters describe. I think in my case it's a control thing, as I also hate travelling in the back seat of a car, and I'm not too keen on the passenger seat either.

In better times past however I was always fine on a cockpit visit, and on the occasions that the crew were kind enough to let me stay up for landing I wasn't the slightest bit nervous, even on a couple of wild rides into a windy Amsterdam. I'm also a bit better when there is also more information around - the moving maps on many longhaul flights these days seem to help (maybe reassuring me that the apparent plummet was really just a slight reduction in the rate of climb), and flying on United when ATC on channel 9 is available is also very reassuring.

At least it gives Mrs CP amusement, especially now that CP junior is around - she delights in telling anyone who'll listen about a rollercoaster ride on an Embraer 145 into Manchester when I was looking pale and clutching the seat, whilst our 3 year old was laughing and shouting 'wheee', thrilled to bits with the ride!