Pilot Wedding Jokes

[Private Patjarr]

Has anyone ever written a wedding speech about a fixed wing or rotary pilot (groom) at a wedding? All suggestions, thoughts and jokes appreciated.

[an3_bolt]

Speeches

....I am sure there are many - but the special day is not about planes and pilots....it is really about something else.
I was very fortunate to have had a great best man at my wedding - whom I am eternally grateful for - he made a fantastic speech that was entertaining for all - had almost no references to aeroplanes, and made the day for the wife and her family something special to remember when times are tuff or feeling a little down. He made me feel very special and appreciated - and am sure my wife felt the same...after all - everyone was gathered together to celebrate the event!!(and drink free booze)
I have also had the honour of making a speech or 2 at a wedding/s and watching others as well - the ones I have most enjoyed have treated the speech from the best man as a special moment for the couple and the best wishes and support for the future - definately not about trying to be funny or telling secrets to the masses. Trying to embaress the couple is not a smart thing from a thinking man.....
Good luck with the speech - I hope you enjoy the day!!

[Wizofoz]

Kid to Mother- " I want to grow up and be a Pilot!"

Mother to Kid- "Well, you can't do both!"

[Creampuff]

Did you hear what happened at [insert aerodrome at which Groom operates here] last week? The conversation between the control tower and the runway inspection vehicle went like this:

Tower: Car 1 this is Tower. There's a nude pilot sleeping on the threshold of runway 34. Please get him out of the manoeuvring area.

Car 1: Tower this is Car 1. Wilco. By the way, how do you know he's a pilot from up there, especially when he's nude?

Tower: He's got a large watch and a small penis.

(At this point, grab Groom's wrist and show everyone the large watch he's wearing.)

[Howard Hughes]

How do you know when there is a pilot at a wedding?

"He/she will tell you!!"

How do you know when your'e having sex with a pilot?

"He/she calls out his own name...."

[mattyj]

A good wife is like a well cooked chicken:

Two tender breasts and thighs that fall apart

Good one Miller

[Capt Wally]

..don't do it !:

..............another pilot getting married???................sheeeeeeeeeez you would think by now that such things should be avoided & would be taught as such at the "planning' stage of the ATPL subjects...............we can weight & balance a B727 (probably a B767 these days), we can fathom out TCAS, EGPWS & God knows how many other fancy bits of techno stuff in those dark coockpits of the future but to fathom out women???............well there wouldn't be enough exam time to answer all the Q's associated with them............oh well, I was once told by my divorce laywer that next time (if there ever is) just go out & bump into the first women you can find on the street & buy here a house...............that way you get it out of yr system without all the worries of coutship, arguments & what to do with those extra toasters one seems to get at weddings !

Capt wally.............smarter these days a by a country mile !....or is that knot?:-)

[Pretzal]

I have a website for you...its GOLD. I've used it before and its just a crack up reading some poeple's speeches.

www.hitched.co.uk

[Uncle Chop Chop]

If it's all a bit lame and you want to spice the reception up a bit....

Why did god make women 10% smarter than cows?
So they don't sh*t on the floor when you squeeze their tits.

Bound to get a reaction.

[bushy]

Stability

The only thing that is more unstable than a helicopter, is the helicopter pilot.