You know you are a bush pilot when.... :)
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: australia
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giday ops
washapinin?
you know...........when:
the sweat that is pouring off your face and arms makes the flight plan ink run like the Todd in flood(all over the place)
so you advise your geustimate ETA and nail it anyway.
washapinin?
you know...........when:
the sweat that is pouring off your face and arms makes the flight plan ink run like the Todd in flood(all over the place)
so you advise your geustimate ETA and nail it anyway.
Nomuch eh big Maxxi! 
Still kicking along head down, bum-up etc.
The view doesn't change much, the number of engines does from time to time, but the temperature is definately on the rise.
I had a really silly question to ask your good self in jest, but will settle for... How's the tribe, and that big plash motaplane?
Got those notes for me?
I'll be belting around your neck of the woods a bit, but to the east of you this weekend. Wont have much time to stop though.
Regards,
OpsN.
Still kicking along head down, bum-up etc.
The view doesn't change much, the number of engines does from time to time, but the temperature is definately on the rise.
I had a really silly question to ask your good self in jest, but will settle for... How's the tribe, and that big plash motaplane?
Got those notes for me?
I'll be belting around your neck of the woods a bit, but to the east of you this weekend. Wont have much time to stop though.
Regards,
OpsN.
Don Quixote Impersonator
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Australia
Age: 77
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Aaaaaaah wiz and all,
fond memories.
Now who is going to write the book, I've got some pics of wiz that could go in it, reckin I'd make more money outa sellin them to him tho!
fond memories.
Now who is going to write the book, I've got some pics of wiz that could go in it, reckin I'd make more money outa sellin them to him tho!
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Back again.
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• When you can drop the wheels on a target patch of ground no bigger than the length of the wing chord after an approach with the last segment in ground effect with the airspeed indicator not getting enough airflow to register.
• The dried cow manure under the wings covers a larger area than the oil stain under the fuselage.
• Small termite mounds in long grass are a taxi hazard.
• You know how to blow a nesting insect out of the pitot/static tube.
• A shower of rain in flight is seen as an opportunity to spruce up the aircraft and get it looking nice again.
• The dried cow manure under the wings covers a larger area than the oil stain under the fuselage.
• Small termite mounds in long grass are a taxi hazard.
• You know how to blow a nesting insect out of the pitot/static tube.
• A shower of rain in flight is seen as an opportunity to spruce up the aircraft and get it looking nice again.
You try to land in karumba at night and the lads have arrived from the pub to put out the flares but some wag deliberately made sure the two sides were not parrallel and nearly killed me.
Bugsmasherdriverandjediknite
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Bai, mi go long hap na kisim sampla samting.
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Now who is going to write the book, I've got some pics of wiz that could go in it, reckin I'd make more money outa sellin them to him tho!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Daimantina
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Nick Murry.
So you do know him. I believe there was once a song written about him.
Old Nick Murrey had a farm Hey yah what the F#*k,
And on this farm he had a pilot, Hey yah what the F&!k.
Care to fill in the rest cowboy!!
So you do know him. I believe there was once a song written about him.
Old Nick Murrey had a farm Hey yah what the F#*k,
And on this farm he had a pilot, Hey yah what the F&!k.
Care to fill in the rest cowboy!!
Join Date: Aug 2000
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I was flying in Singapore for a while and met a film producer from oz who was surprised to meet a bush pilot from the days before GPS. I find it hard to exept ""I'm old school"".I fly with some fantastic pilots my junior, in years only.I love flying and love flying with great pilots.
I'm a bush pilot at heart, although love the challenge that automation offers. MCP,FMC,etc......I love it
I'm a bush pilot at heart, although love the challenge that automation offers. MCP,FMC,etc......I love it
The windows & all vents in your C210 et al are opened just prior to boarding the load of pigmentally advantaged, odour enhanced countrymen - and only closed once they're offloaded despite the flight through wet season downpours. You start to view it as a value added service, providing in-flight shower facilities since they obviously don't have them on the ground. 
When you fly from Halls Creek to Kiwwikurra in a 210 with the window open the entire flight as the stench of the 5 pax who have just spent the morning in a police divvy van in 40 degree temps is a bit overwhelming.
I knpw a geezer who is now a qantas capt wo,if l remember correctly was loading the partenavia up with the engines running en route arukun to weipa.One of the freight was still sucking
on a stubby when they got airborne so thecaptain wrenched ot off him,threw it out of the storm window,wherupon it bounced off the left prop and put a bloody big dent in the fuselage.
on a stubby when they got airborne so thecaptain wrenched ot off him,threw it out of the storm window,wherupon it bounced off the left prop and put a bloody big dent in the fuselage.
when you're lined up on short final and realise that the strip has star pickets down the centreline, so you land to one side and then have to jump a washout. The station manager's own idea of indicating strip unserviceability.
when you have to make an emergency landing on an old disused station strip at the neighbours' station because the Boss is desperate for a slash...
when you shut down an engine on descent into home base, and give an PAN PAN, even though you've worked out it's only a gauge problem, just so you can get the bloody slack engineers to actually fix the things you put on the MR..
when you get the sack from an operator and reckon it's a positive career move..
when you reach across a passenger to tighten their seat belt for them and the buckle clanks on the bottle of bundy in their pants.
when you realise that the regulations have virtually no relevance to reality, and that regulators care more for paperwork than true safety,
and when you realise that you are responsible for your own safety, because noone else will care beyond their legal exposure to your actions.
Life's a bitch, then you fly?
when you have to make an emergency landing on an old disused station strip at the neighbours' station because the Boss is desperate for a slash...
when you shut down an engine on descent into home base, and give an PAN PAN, even though you've worked out it's only a gauge problem, just so you can get the bloody slack engineers to actually fix the things you put on the MR..
when you get the sack from an operator and reckon it's a positive career move..
when you reach across a passenger to tighten their seat belt for them and the buckle clanks on the bottle of bundy in their pants.
when you realise that the regulations have virtually no relevance to reality, and that regulators care more for paperwork than true safety,
and when you realise that you are responsible for your own safety, because noone else will care beyond their legal exposure to your actions.
Life's a bitch, then you fly?
PPRuNe's Paramedic
Join Date: May 2001
Location: tropical north
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You dont bat an eyelid at the dog in the back of the 182.... hes sitting on the sheep making sure it doesnt go anywhere.....
sheezz I havent laughed this hard in a while... great post!
sheezz I havent laughed this hard in a while... great post!
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: australia
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You know you're a bush pilot when either:
a) There's a bottle of napisan next to your washing machine and you don't have kids...
or...
b) You don't need napisan coz you don't wear a uniform!
a) There's a bottle of napisan next to your washing machine and you don't have kids...
or...
b) You don't need napisan coz you don't wear a uniform!
When you follow the price of redcans, mozelle and blackbox more than the stockmarket, and you know how much they are "worth" at your various destinations, taking into account whether it's pay week and what your opposition is charging.
When you start drinking redcans.
When you have been to the different communities so many times you have created your own scenic STARs and SIDs to alleviate the boredom.
When you figure out you can trim the company's bendy 206 to fly wings levels by hanging your headset bag with your half full water bottle in it on the control column.
When cigarettes are either winny red, winny blue (what!? taylor mades!) or whiteox rollies.
When you start eating at the community takeaway and don't get the trots.
When you wear out your second pair of size 14 double pluggers.
When you start drinking redcans.
When you have been to the different communities so many times you have created your own scenic STARs and SIDs to alleviate the boredom.
When you figure out you can trim the company's bendy 206 to fly wings levels by hanging your headset bag with your half full water bottle in it on the control column.
When cigarettes are either winny red, winny blue (what!? taylor mades!) or whiteox rollies.
When you start eating at the community takeaway and don't get the trots.
When you wear out your second pair of size 14 double pluggers.
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Timber Ck
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You may be a bush pilot IF
When you land in Darwin and realize that you are the only one in 200nm that is not wearing jocks.
Darwin APP asks about your lahso status and you reply, “Yeah, just give me a straight in on V2”. Or you laugh and think about landing across 29/11 just so they don’t ever have to ask you about LAHSO again.
You have an endurance of two hours. Stop and check the fuel and fill up the oil.
You get your pruning endorsement, i.e. greenery attached to wings/wheels on landing.
That 10th bird strike that made you an ace was achieved by taking a whole nest out,,,,,, of a tree.
The station manager’s wife goes through your mail and reads it while you are out.
The station manager’s wife tells you what she read.
The station manager’s wife denies it to your face when you get pissed off about it.
The station managers wife needs psychiatric care but can’t get it in the channel country. (Sorry Heidi, Sorry Jack).
Enough about Staybroke, they are finished now.
When you give the three snakes you killed on the way to the hangar to the local community as a gift, and the feral cat to the camp cook. (Fair dink)
Your passengers turn up and as you lead them to the plane bound for Boulia they ask, “When is the pilot going to be here?”
When you muster for 50 hours in 6 days and then you have to walk cattle. Mow lawns, weld gates, shoe horses, service road trains, fix leaky pipes, and avoid the pshchiatric station managers wife for the other 50 hours in your working week.
When you wire up your CSU to the side of the engine to maintain the desired setting.
When your boss tells you to pull your valves out and clean them in a dust storm because he is too tight to allow you to do the Lycoming 25hr oil change.
When your boss informs you that taking 15/20% off the MR time never hurt anyone but it really will help your own career.
Hey, I started this looking for a laugh, It appears that station life has made me bitter and twisted. Perhaps the station manager’s wife was originally a pilot that just stayed too long. I am out of here.
Last I heard Nick Murray was FO on a Dash 8 in PNG. Early this year.
When you land in Darwin and realize that you are the only one in 200nm that is not wearing jocks.
Darwin APP asks about your lahso status and you reply, “Yeah, just give me a straight in on V2”. Or you laugh and think about landing across 29/11 just so they don’t ever have to ask you about LAHSO again.
You have an endurance of two hours. Stop and check the fuel and fill up the oil.
You get your pruning endorsement, i.e. greenery attached to wings/wheels on landing.
That 10th bird strike that made you an ace was achieved by taking a whole nest out,,,,,, of a tree.
The station manager’s wife goes through your mail and reads it while you are out.
The station manager’s wife tells you what she read.
The station manager’s wife denies it to your face when you get pissed off about it.
The station managers wife needs psychiatric care but can’t get it in the channel country. (Sorry Heidi, Sorry Jack).
Enough about Staybroke, they are finished now.
When you give the three snakes you killed on the way to the hangar to the local community as a gift, and the feral cat to the camp cook. (Fair dink)
Your passengers turn up and as you lead them to the plane bound for Boulia they ask, “When is the pilot going to be here?”
When you muster for 50 hours in 6 days and then you have to walk cattle. Mow lawns, weld gates, shoe horses, service road trains, fix leaky pipes, and avoid the pshchiatric station managers wife for the other 50 hours in your working week.
When you wire up your CSU to the side of the engine to maintain the desired setting.
When your boss tells you to pull your valves out and clean them in a dust storm because he is too tight to allow you to do the Lycoming 25hr oil change.
When your boss informs you that taking 15/20% off the MR time never hurt anyone but it really will help your own career.
Hey, I started this looking for a laugh, It appears that station life has made me bitter and twisted. Perhaps the station manager’s wife was originally a pilot that just stayed too long. I am out of here.
Last I heard Nick Murray was FO on a Dash 8 in PNG. Early this year.
