You may be a bush pilot IF
When you land in Darwin and realize that you are the only one in 200nm that is not wearing jocks.
Darwin APP asks about your lahso status and you reply, “Yeah, just give me a straight in on V2”. Or you laugh and think about landing across 29/11 just so they don’t ever have to ask you about LAHSO again.
You have an endurance of two hours. Stop and check the fuel and fill up the oil.
You get your pruning endorsement, i.e. greenery attached to wings/wheels on landing.
That 10th bird strike that made you an ace was achieved by taking a whole nest out,,,,,, of a tree.
The station manager’s wife goes through your mail and reads it while you are out.
The station manager’s wife tells you what she read.
The station manager’s wife denies it to your face when you get pissed off about it.
The station managers wife needs psychiatric care but can’t get it in the channel country. (Sorry Heidi, Sorry Jack).
Enough about Staybroke, they are finished now.
When you give the three snakes you killed on the way to the hangar to the local community as a gift, and the feral cat to the camp cook. (Fair dink)
Your passengers turn up and as you lead them to the plane bound for Boulia they ask, “When is the pilot going to be here?”
When you muster for 50 hours in 6 days and then you have to walk cattle. Mow lawns, weld gates, shoe horses, service road trains, fix leaky pipes, and avoid the pshchiatric station managers wife for the other 50 hours in your working week.
When you wire up your CSU to the side of the engine to maintain the desired setting.
When your boss tells you to pull your valves out and clean them in a dust storm because he is too tight to allow you to do the Lycoming 25hr oil change.
When your boss informs you that taking 15/20% off the MR time never hurt anyone but it really will help your own career.
Hey, I started this looking for a laugh, It appears that station life has made me bitter and twisted. Perhaps the station manager’s wife was originally a pilot that just stayed too long. I am out of here.
Last I heard Nick Murray was FO on a Dash 8 in PNG. Early this year.