Bertie B, me and MC doing some RUC VCP's in the yellows. Land on with BB' feet up in the LHS, climb away, they think the RHS is the only seat occupied. Mark has tied green comms cord to the yaw (rudder to me now) pedals and proceeds to 'fly the a/c with them, talking to me on the i/c. I then unstrap, and climb down whilst BB flies the a/c unseen from below, minus the ASE yaw channel. Mark makes a grand job of flying the cling on, then hands control to one of the coppers whilst I go down the back and disappear behind the curtain in the radio bay..the RUC chap is a reluctant pilot and his colleagues aren't too happy with his attempts...we landed in a field and they disembarked rather rapidly....:ok::}
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Ah, the fence at Y453 with the boss. He looked across and said "well it's faaackin lucky you didn't do it cos you'd be right in the ****", then simply smiled his enigmatic smile and no more was said!
The previous boss giving the entire squadron a stand up bollocking for a litany of offenses (border crossings, cups of tea spilled over centre consoles, certain display pilot's tailstrike from a level quickstop!!) Same boss then a few days later is temporarily unsure of his position rather close to the proximity of the ROI. Announces, "er we have might just have nipped across the border I think"; crewman A*** T*** calmly adds "yeah boss, about 2 miles ago!" V***e A***a for doing a two year tour and having no entries in his bar book! Zero speed spirals which simultaneously illuminated all four oil captions briefly. Explaining to a visiting engineer on the FAC that his fatigue life planning example for the Wessex didn't very accurately reflect the way it was really operated (ie pull to max torque and leave it there for 2 days). Forced them to re-write the entire planning schedule - did anyone ever tell the Chileans when we flogged them? M**e D*****s being regarded by the RAF flight safety team as the biggest single FS hazard in the entire RAF - we all knew that anyway. |
Explaining to a visiting engineer on the FAC that his fatigue life planning example for the Wessex didn't very accurately reflect the way it was really operated (ie pull to max torque and leave it there for 2 days). Forced them to re-write the entire planning schedule |
Do any of you old-and-bold Wessex peeps know what became of the quiet, unassuming Scottish Wessex pilot who came to hold with us on the VC10K and to help out as an Ops chap?
His name? Oh yes.... Scott Weir.....:uhoh: A good job that there weren't too may ex-shiny 'Route Queens' to enjoy his quiet, genteel manner! Heart of gold - but add beer and stir and he could be, shall we say, 'rather high spirited'! |
Saw 3.8 many times but the best was big M*** S***g***m who did it with his left boot trying to get into Foxfield sangar in a gale.
Scotty flashing his cock at two wives at a sportswear party (one was mine, the other the wife of the next ACAS!!!!) The J** Ch*****r memorial trench at Auchnacloy, the F**ms**n-W*****ms memorial trench near Newtonhamilton, Nobby's 'unlucky' tipstrike at Cookstown. D*** R**c****e driving me back to the patch, pissed after happy hour and handbrake turning across my lawn and the next door neighbours to drop me off. Nobby dropping a thunderflash into one of those tall, black metal ashtrays with a chrome lid - black tube turned inside out but chrome top took a pint glass out of D*nc** Wh**h**'s hand. Plasticuffing OCGD to the railings in the bar after raiding his room because he turned left after coming out of a dining in night instead of going to the bar.:) |
Have pics but don't know how to post them, any help?
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Swift Reminiscences
Arriving for the first time in Feb and not actually seeing the sun for 3 whole weeks.
Picking R** M*****'s Walter out of a field outside Derry after he and C***s had sawn their way through the power lines over the Foyle on Polling Day. Seeing M**e L****'s face when we fitted a new tailcone badged as 'B' to said Walter a few weeks later, and being asked, quite pointedly, if this was some kind of joke.;) Realising shortly afterwards that M**e L***d had crashed 'B' some years beforehand.:bored: Being witness to the Great Santini's application of 'Just Culture' after another Walter/Power Lines interface problem in Co Tyrone - 'Some F"£$%^'s going to pay for this!'. Wally Wilson - top bloke. S**n G**l's stoicism in the face of my attempts at hovering, after being hauled out of bed to crew for DB and I for my last in-Province trip. The Swift. |
The unfortunate JCB incident
I was fortunate enough to have the room right above the main entrance to the OM, which came with a very small balcony overlooking the Station Commanders parking space.
One afternoon, during a very lively balcony party, someone (Scotty) decided that he would attempt to hot-wire the JCB digger that was parked down the road. It was duly delivered, after a few laps of the roundabout, and parked up proudly in the forbidden slot. All was going well until some bright spark (Scotty) decided to spice things up a bit by taking the digger on a tour of the station with a drivepast of the main entrance. Two in the raised front loader, sitting space shuttle style, one squatting in the rear scoop and sundry hangers-on clutching onto the cabin. Off they went at high speed down the road, beer glassses flying to applause from the balcony. On their return, apparantly unscathed, more merryment, and loud abuse, as the Military Police turn up to inspect the crime scene with notebooks and pencils poised. Why oh why a number of 'revelers' were unable to contain themselves, and chose that moment to relieve themselves onto the developing scene below, I will never know. Later, someone, coming to terms with the potential enormity of the situation, decided that it would be circumspect to return the offending digger, and forget (deny) that the whole, unfortunate, event ever took place. Well, it was only fair, since Scotty had stolen the thing, that he should take it back. I don't think any of us imagined that the police would be lying in wait, just out of sight, in an ambush. I'm not sure if poor old Scotty is the only officer ever to be challenged with the words "stand still or I'll fire"... To be continued............... |
Jerome 'borrowing' a mini road roller after an afternoon's quiet imbibing at the Swift and the RAF police's attempts at stopping him...
Mess Cannons...shooting the Staish in the arse at point blank range in the bar... 'Crashing' at Castlederg....:(:} Seeing 16,000 ft between V813 and G100...'anyone feel dizzy - just let me know'...took forever to get down as the Nr was so lively:} POD falling asleep down in South Fermanagh..then waking up to tell me where the border was..how did he do that? Burying Gibbo under many bergans as we flopped into a bog, down wind, out of power, options, skill, experience and luck..sorry mate..only to drag you across a police boat rail on my Far East tour...I'm not sure who I was more afraid of.. you or your better half..:sad: Climbing up the Norwegian step to knock on the window at Scotty....2000ft above Glasgow....:sad: Loosing a tooth 'bunt somersaulting' down the back of a Walter, having had a 'trg day' at the Donaghadee life boat station...mostly involving many, many guinessesssssssss...didn't feel a thing !:} |
Patches
Bertie B, me and Mark Culmer doing some RUC VCP's in the yellows. Best one was when A*** Mc***** (future Boss), D*** W******* and ? made the front page of the Belfast News Letter after a shabby-weather medevac from Rathlin Island. Photo (not mine) caption gravely recorded that the crew's ids couldn't be published as one was a local. Guess who'd forgotten to remove their (readable) name? Wasn't D*** or the loadie. D'oh. POD falling asleep down in South Fermanagh.. |
Early 70s.
Anyone remember two TWA pilots who went down town for a party, were lifted by the IRA, and whose photographs were on the next morning's front page of the Belfast Telegraph? They were sent home safely. |
"Nobby" Where do I start? Oh I see you all already have!!!
Great bloke, good scrapes. Nearly "scored a goal" with him in the Wessex, landing on the sports pitch at 'Derry! Locked the wheels on the mud, then unlocked them rolling thro' a puddle - amazing how much muddy water that throws over the crewman! Bas88rd! Scott who?! lsh :E |
230 Execs circa '95:
Who knows. Red nose. F**k knows. Brown nose. Navy executing Tigs, and recording the subsequent OCs chat for all to share. The street Cortina being rolled at a Mess BBQ with petrol gushing out over M*** O'L.... whilst he was smoking a fag. 'Seafuryfan' inventing 7 a day before anyone had ever thought of 5! The 'Street' could probably hold a thread of its own. |
Posting pics
Have pics but don't know how to post them, any help? Copy & paste this link Register for free at Photobucket.com into the Firefox toolbar, complete the photobucket reg page and store the images there. Clicking on the the yellow box fourth from the right on this form or your reply thread invites you to enter the pbucket url which identifies each of your photos - paste that in and it appears. I post them at c. 1800x1100x300dpi and limit the resolution to give a c.300KB image. That fills the page fairly well and I might go smaller for the next ones. There are probably other photo host sites, but this seems a secure, reliable one - I've no commercial or other interests in it. Hope this helps, PhPh. |
As much fun as this thread is, we have reached a point to reflect. Telling breathalyser failing stories could be front page Sun stuff. Some stories must stay under the rules. Also think carefully with names and now we are talking photos. Some people still live in the community out there, my company provides pilots to the police and they live locally. I for one, do not want my photo out in cyberspace whilst in NI. The 'war' is still going on, despite what Nu Labour say. The latest stories are about shoulder launched SAMs being deployed against police helicopters. Please please keep the stories, but THINK!!
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Then there was T*pper N*xon, hard night on Extreme-Pimms, flew the DTF down to XMG and back, pranged the blue bomber on the way back to the bar and failed a breathalyser! Urinal Jerkoff (God bless ‘im, RIP) arranged to pay his fine out of sqn funds, Hurrah!
Not forgetting Sh*gger Sm*ff, caught prodding the NAAFI bint on the billiard table with her hairbrush up his a**e. Last but not least Ginge Squared, ropin down at Y434, bee-zeds sans t/w, blames it on below stairs and walks! PS Whatever happened to No-Balls Mowgli, the Sri Lankan JEngEss? http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...ies/thumbs.gif Telling breathalyser failing stories could be front page Sun stuff. PPS Sorry jayteeto, I was feeling left out of pprune's version of Armstrong & Miller. I made it all up. |
http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/x...ssbrookPad.jpg
The Mill http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/x...HFNI/Wx103.jpg Over the 'garden' http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/x.../WxFinal17.jpg Shawbury during the final retirement formation round robin http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/x.../WxFinal35.jpg Put away at the end of it all! Apologies if not come out right but first time pic posting:\ Have more if anyone is interested, thanks phamousphoto. |
On The Water
VERTREPing the Navy in Carlingford (?) Loch http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/x...Phamphotog.jpg As much fun as this thread is, we have reached a point to reflect. …….. and now we are talking photos. |
Then there was T*pper N*xon, hard night on Extreme-Pimms, flew the DTF down to XMG and back, pranged the blue bomber on the way back to the bar and failed a breathalyser! Urinal Jerkoff (God bless ‘im, RIP) arranged to pay his fine out of sqn funds, Hurrah! Not forgetting Sh*gger Sm*ff, caught prodding the NAAFI bint on the billiard table with her hairbrush up his a**e. Last but not least Ginge Squared, ropin down at Y434, bee-zeds sans t/w, blames it on below stairs and walks! PS Whatever happened to No-Balls Mowgli, the Sri Lankan JEngEss? I think you'd have enjoyed yourself in NI thoroughly. |
But some of the stories are worse than fiction - vis the crewman who was caught having a w**k in the aircrew bedroom in the Bessbrook Mill - nothing wrong in that per se - but it was at night, on standby for an op and with 3 other blokes trying to sleep in the same room!!:)
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Originally Posted by [email protected]
(Post 5397216)
But some of the stories are worse than fiction - vis the crewman who was caught having a w**k in the aircrew bedroom in the Bessbrook Mill - nothing wrong in that per se - but it was at night, on standby for an op and with 3 other blokes trying to sleep in the same room!!:)
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With a bucket of cold water! That would have dampened his ardour.
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Walter turfing back up at Aldergrove semi minus 1 leg, Sandbag pile to land it on readied when ATC turf up and tell us to move it as when it falls over it will block the main runway :}
Asking the crewman if he picked up the evenings film as he was there when the leg snapped off....... :p sadly his answer not printable :ooh: Parts off it used to fix Xmas Tree incident Aircraft ;) Nelson :ouch: the Squadron cat................:= |
A girlfriend I was on top of a place called Lilly Tarn on Loughrigg Fell overlooking Ambleside at the north end of Lake Windermere, 6 years & 2 weeks ago. It was a beautiful cloudless, flat calm day with unlimited viz & the lake was like a mirror.
We'd hiked up to the summit, got a bit 'frisky' & to cut a long story short, within a couple of minutes, we were bollocko with her Ladyship straddling me going for all she could. Then I heard it. The sound of a Wokka is unmistakable, but she never heard it. I was trying to strain to look south down 'Windermere but could see nothing until it appeared over her shoulder at about 500' tracking south to north up the lake. I froze, she carried on & looked up to her right as the Wokka slowed & orbited our position with at least one crewman waving from the lowered ramp. "What should we do?" she asked, "Wave back I suppose" I replied. The Wokka made a couple of orbits then continued north towards Carlisle. I don't know if it was an SHFNI Chinook & crew but if it was, thanks for giving us a giggle!!! :ok: |
Change-over dinners
Surprising, no-one seems to have mentioned the great change-over dinners. The final one was a real bucket-full, probably because it was, so I am lead to believe, the largest game of Pi??y Fisherman ever played by all accounts. When combined with the waterlogged ditches (accn improvements under way) there were a few stiff (mud-soaked) participants the next morning. Me, I know, or cannot remember, nuffin Sir!
As for the infamous dumper truck incident, when a 'bucket rider' left his leg dangling over the front which was great until the fleshy bit came between bucket and tree.....................messy, the RN, ex-RM pilot was in a bit of a mess. Best wishes to all for the season - anyone still flying the beer about on Christmas Day? :ok: |
Then & Now.
No response to my last one, so I'll take that as a default 'yes' then.
From http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/x...Phamphotog.jpg POD & XR498'W' on 3rd May 1996 Tohttp://i765.photobucket.com/albums/x...Phamphotog.jpg Eleven Years later - 12th June 2007. Hard to believe it all ever existed. |
Bessbrook??????
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A couple more-
http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/x.../Bessbrook.jpg Mill from SW. http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/x...I/GndRun-1.jpg In the garden. http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/x...I/R850Wall.jpg The wall in the mill. Becoming a bit of a Wessex-fest:ok: |
More At t'Mill
http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/x...Phamphotog.jpg However, reverting to type - http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/x...Phamphotog.jpg Wazzing along over Millvale Road with Sc***y T******* in the door. Bit high for an east fence approach? All photos posted so far date from the '80s, '90, & 2000s. Anyone out there with Sioux / Scout / Wessex photos / stories from the 1970s. Yeah, I know the first two aren't PpruneRAF, but they were SHFNI. PS. In fairness to 230, the air/air was taken from one of their cabs. |
Anyone got any from Ebrington barracks? Used to distract me whilst waiting for bus to school at the depot on the other side of the Foyle:}
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Promise the following won't involve booze and flying and anyone still there...although I don't know anyone still over there....
Ahhhh the phantom Bessbrook 'W*nker'...his retort was allegedly '... it's only natural....' Thanks for the piccies, takes me back..Dunganoooon looks to be a sorry place, as does R850 One junior joe made friends with the Guards Regy one Xmas by cutting a large wedge of stilton out of the cheese they had been lovingly feeding port for Christmas...I remember being asked to leave shortly afterwards.. Listening to many a Greenfinch being 'tickled' in the Bessbrook sauna, which was right beside our room! |
Flying around province in a 'Santa Suit' with tinsle on the GPMG and tree lights around the door - picking up callsigns with a bottle of Bushmills finest on the seat for the troops.
Word soon got round - you could get a wee nip on Wessex 3! Being bundled into the back of a snatch and taken from the mill to the RUC station for Christmas drinks - almost going blind from recently confiscated potcheen! 3 Happy Christmas's in province:ok: 'Do you ken Bessbrook with it's Mill so high........' All the best |
My arrival interview with Dangerous Brian:
"Don't worry about the terrorists - there's about 450 of them - there's thousands of us!" "Yes, Sir" :ooh: |
Phamousphotographer....
The 'eleven years after' photo of Bessbrook reminded me of how it was when we first went there in the early 70's!! But in those days there was a bloody great chimney as well.
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Bessbrook, a place I'll be glad never to see again!!!!
Shame the aircrew accom went...much comfier than the old hut..but then they allegedly built the external dimensions as the internal ...so the corridor was a tad tight...muppets.. |
OJ Intro
But in those days there was a bloody great chimney as well. http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/x...Phamphotog.jpg Killymeal, 25th August 1995, and XV725’C’ arrives over the east fence with POD in the rh seat, accompanied by a shiny new 72 Nav (ex Lossie Buccs) on his first day on SHFNI ops. Couldn’t figure why they were holding off, then copped POD’s black gloves against the rh screen and realised they were waiting for a photo. Wonder if R*** S******d knew who was steering the cab, and what he thought? |
I remember long fights with HQ 38 Gp over our white bonedomes, light coloured gloves and the white in our roundels. Sympathetic RAF inbedded in HQ Lisburn sent us several buckets of unauthorised Landrover green paint!
Also refuelling at Ebrington(?) on the Mickey Mouse, the Donald Duck and the Crab - all painted on the refuelling spots. Then there was Wee Kenny, a mild mannered Highlander who was being irritated by the antics of a short jp in the bar. He obtained a new pint of bitter, and poured it over the head of his little irritant, saying, "That's the best 2 and sixpence I've ever spent." Could that be the origin of the famous call, "Barman, a pint of throwing beer, please."? |
Lets clear something up, the Crewman in the Mill was never caught polishing the old man he was just 'interupted' !
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Caut us interuptus?
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Phamousphotograher.....
No not really but it certainly assisted with the nav! ;)
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