Dang Beag's, step back from the keyboard...enjoy a cold one (or room temp one as some Brits prefer) and recognize when someone is simply rattling your cage with a wee bit of sarcastic humour.

You can climb the fence anytime you want. I won't shoot you in the arse...probably.

O.K. Whilst we're piling it on this festive season , Beags still has my "Pilot" magazine with a picture of Daryl Greenamyer's Bearcat in it - that I loaned him in 1969.
Big "Shoulders like a stevedore" Wanda never forgave him.

Hey Westie, how y'all getting on over there in the colonies? Looking forward to having your new President at the helm?

A cold one or a warm one, that is the eternal question! Coors (not that weasel piss known as Coors 'Lite') does indeed taste wonderful when chilled. As do many of your microbrewery products. But British brown beer is better at cellar temperature.

I've been told that I might have to pay a visit to your country next year on business, so hopefully won't need to climb any fences and risk your marksmanship....:ooh: That is, if I can persuade the fat Martians at immigration that I don't intend overthrowing the government....:hmm:

Now Redders, I do indeed remember 1969 as that was the year that Darryl F Greenamyer broke the old Bf109R record at 478 mph in a Bearcat. Shall have a look for your magazine, but fear it no longer exists!

However, selective amnesia means that (fortunately) I don't remember Big Wanda. Or was she that awful Amazonian creature who worked in the Officers' Mess at White Waltham - and supplemented her income by 'entertaining' the navvies who were busily building the M4 extension at the time. For 2/6 a time, I gather....:suspect:

Now, now Mr C. You know as well as I do I was being bored to tears at West Moors when TSW received the Underwater Knife Fighting course signal. Hence I missed the course and had to spend my wars taste testing F34 samples instead.
Of course the bowsers containing said F34 may have been looked at by one of 'them' in passing which practically qualifies you to be a 'them' in some mess bars.
;o)

I've worked through my grief and am in the acceptance stage now.

And I thought we could be friends. Rather drink water. Some fine Canadian beer please.

That's Going to take you keeping your opinion to yourself for at least an hour or two while in the que. A daunting task I would imagine.

Coors is possibly the least awful; whereas Budweiser.....isn't. But Canadian beer? Labatt Blue or Molson, perhaps.....

The trick with Immigration will (hopefully) be to enter from Canada, rather than direct from Europe. Nevertheless I will practice by talking to some cows or trees first.....:uhoh:

Is that talking to or talking down to?

Neither really - just slowly and in words of one syllable as though talking to a deaf old aunt or a senior army officer!

Lord Beags, I'd bet a drink that you'll be treated with more courtesy coming into the good ol' USA than you will going back home into the EU, err, UK.

And we can legally own guns.

I love my country! :ok:

edited to add: And to keep the thread on topic, the US has "The Stolen Valor Act." While not a top priority, it is a federal offense to claim medals or service to which one is not entitled. Some have gone to jail and/or been fined.

Let me know how the cavity search goes.

What? You mean there's a dental check as well?

I thought that sort of thing went out with the Third Reich?

Legal gun ownership is a thorny issue here. Total prohibition after certain events was a typical government over reaction. What if the murderer at Dunblane had used a golf bat or cricket stick instead of a handgun - would they have banned golf and cricket?

Beagle, meet Dr. Big Fingers.

Oh what a lovely thread. Back in the '80s I had to conduct some business with a gentleman in Australia. He met us at the airport and as he drove us to his office we got into a rather too detailed conversation about the aircraft we had flown in on. "During my flying days..." became as regular a start to each of his sentences as Uncle Albert's "Durin' the war...". He was clearly busting to be asked the question, so we fell for it: "Oh what did you fly?".

Turned out to be fighters, Shooting Stars, USAF, Korean War. "What was an Aussie doing in the USAF?" - "On attachment, military advisor - but I saw plenty of combat...".

"How did you do?". "More kills than most". "Oh - well done - how many". "Errr - about six". Yeah, right.... The subject was not raised again, and no - we didn't do a deal in the end.

Funny how the real guys are often so reluctant to talk at all. There was a great WW2 agent-dropping pilot who ended up behind barbed wire, never cared to reminisce, but postwar became a works team racing driver for Aston Martin. In one practice session he bent his car and when he got back to the pits he was given a right bollocking by the team manager. He listened in silence until the storm had blown over, and then said gently "Bloody hell, when I crashed my Stirling they gave me the ******* DFC!".

We had an ex-RAF Nav here in NZ around the time we bought the 10 Andovers ex-RAF. He was most definitely a Nav, and had practiced on Canberras of various squadrons he assured us, [our Canberras had long gone at that time]. He was on my Command and Staff Course in 1976 and in the course of discussion over a beer revealed that he had taken part in one of the Canberra raids during the Suez crisis. There followed a noticeable silence and a change in subject because he knew and I knew that, given his age, he would have been the only 16-year-old Canberra Navigator on Suez operations!

In our (non-aviation) organisation we have a mega-Walt who claims a George Medal, ex-21/22, a BSc in English (!), membership of various of organisations and a history tackling organised crime amongst many other things. All verifiably complete 'round-objects'.

Now here's the odd thing - he's known as a complete Walt throughout the organisation (minor Walting is sometimes referred to as 'doing a ... (insert his surname).. and he works for a guy who really HAS got an interesting history in NI but despite that he's recently been promoted! We can only wonder...!

. . . fine Canadian beer ?
 

Mind you, this IS a thread about bull**** and imposters . . .

As for 'serving pies in a Nimrod' - some of us actually ATE pies - even the cold greasy ones - armadillos.

God, we were hard, by the way, did I ever tell you about . . . . .

We once had a Walt - been there, done that, no matter what or where. He told us many times he had once lost a very important piece of paper, for which he was responsible. Result - 28 days inside. We knew this story to be true, and also the date of the event.

He was regaling us with the story, yet again, one evening, and a newcomer commented that he would never get his Long Service & Good Conduct Medal, for which 18 years' undetected crime is one of the requirements.

"Already got it," sezee. He did not notice the sudden silence, or the howls of laughter that followed. For him to have the medal, he would have had to be three years old when he joined up.

The thing is, even when he knew his cover was blown, it made no difference to his tall tale-telling.

There was a flt lt ATCO at Binbrook in the late 60s who claimed to have been a navigator on a nuclear submarine - not bad going for a guy in his mid-30s at most.

However: the Jim Shortt saga rolls on. The Anglo-Oirish Uber-Walt has had just about everything he ever claimed debunked, and he still won't lie down. Updated material to make you weep is:
Here:
The Baron of Castleshort - ARRSEpedia, James Shortt, Major Lucien Ott, The Baron Castleshort, IBA, International Bodyguard Association, Protection, Close Protection, Walter Mitty, Knight of St Gregory, McCarthy Mor, Royal Galloglas Guard, SAS, Parach
And here:
List of James Shortt's Dubious Claims - ARRSEpedia

and discussion continues in Part 2 here:
Army Rumour Service > > Forums > > General > > The Intelligence Cell > > 'Baron' Castleshort Part 2

And another one exposed... this one completely foolish with the range of medals he wore...

Fake War Veteran's Walk Of Shame: Medal Of Dishonour During Remembrance Day Parade | UK News | Sky News

When I was in the medal business I both sold medals to collectors and offered a mounting service. I was frequently of the opinion that people buying medals (usually replicas) of medals that they claimed to have lost were in fact not entitled to them. Often people went further, buying a medal that they thought they should have been given, perhaps a GSM where they had not quite done sufficient service in theatre. Some were even more blatant - I did manage to dissuade one chap from awarding himself an OBE on one occasion, but I am sure many others managed to fool me.

Looking at the chap in the picture above, even as replicas that group would have set him back several hundred pounds, and if the DSO and MC were originals then we are into four figures. It just shows how far these Walter Mittys will go to live out their fantasies!