Well he isn't telling porkys about an officer called Pine-Coffin in the Para's. He was the CO of 7 Para (Richard Todd's unit) when they reinforced the coup de main attack on the Pegasus and Horsa Bridges on the morning of D-day.

My mother-in-law danced with DB once.

She stood on his foot and then asked if he was alright :ugh:

I scanned through the Oz imposter's site with some trepidation, half expecting to find my own name there, for some could be forgiven for thinking me a Walt thanks to our old mates, the journos.

I submitted a piece on Anzac Day to an Oz newspaper one April, written in the third person, where a veteran of a much later war visits Anzac Cove for the 25th April celbrations and "sees" the ghosts of the veterans of WW1 and of wars a lot older than that, more or less trying to point out that wars have been with us since the year dot and it wasn't likely that was ever going to change. (Anyone interested, [I'm sure there are none], will find said piece in its original form buried very deeply in the Ppprune archives.)

Only problem was, the newspaper, without consulting moi, changed the piece to the first person and published it with me apparently giving myself a service history I do not and have never claimed to possess. I went ballistic when I saw what they published, but St Augustine and his pillow full of feathers comes to mind - once you've scattered them in the streets, you're never going to get 'em all back, and I'm sure there are a few out there who are convinced I was pulling a Walt in apparently saying I'd done things they know I never did.

AI R wrote, "I wonder if we get any bull****ters posting on here?"

Thanks AI R - it's taken me half an hour to try to dry the coffee out of keyboard!:ok:

We've got a right belter who claims all manner of military achievements. Reds, the lot. Never in a month of Sundays. CRM semtex too.

Aviation attracts bullshi**ers like honey attracts bees.....
When I was an instructor at cabair , this guy turned up for a trial lesson claiming to be a tornado pilot "recuperating" after ejecting from said aircraft and banging his head (shades of goose there).He said he was from 214 sqdn at st mawgan (eh ?you what?) and sounded like a romford scrap metal dealer.Long story short -he wasn't of course and the police rang us up to say he nicked all his girlfriend's cash ,claiming to be learning to fly, and legged it.

More recently the stewardess' boyfriend who was variously an A4 pilot, a 744 pilot, a mercenary etc etc.......

What is wrong with these people....be who you are.

I know, perish the thought eh?

Someone mentioned cooks earlier on.

And we've got a Longhaul purser who had name badges made up saying he was a pilot. Not sure his missus was all that impressed. ;)

Funny thing that...
 

I was talking with a fellow pilot once when the subject of Kigali, Rwanda came up. He told me "I used to go in there all the time with Sabena on 707s," when I had only flown in once with a little Cessna 404.

He forgot to tell me he was down the back serving the coffee!

C'mon guys.

How many out there weren't in the Red Arrows in a Lincoln bar or club in their early days. I know I was. Didn't work much. However, being a dog handler in the RAFP was a far more successful ploy! Something about having to feed a puppy all through the night - exposes the soft side in the oppo sex.

Sad thing is I'm embarrassed to tell you what I am doing now!

We have a pair of walts in our local.
One professes to be ex Marine Reserves/TA he can never make his mind up.

The other has been in SAS, a mercenary, US special forces, a hells angel, then different professions, bouncer, Police liaison to the traffic dept on how the police should conduct Motorcycle duties, HGV convoy driver/outrider, a DOT Driving examiner, Head game keeper for the Chatsworth Estate in Derbyshire, he once took a trial lesson in a cesspit 150 but now says he was taught in the SAS to fly ALL aircraft! He was in the Paras, has done well over 200 jumps and has jumped more times into battle than anyone else with Para Wings... Oh and he was in one skirmish in Aden when the SAS were pinned down and he alone saved the day.

When I pointed out that the particular battle he was referring to was in 1964 and he would have been 11 he went rather quite.

A couple of weeks ago, he was on a shoot where I was doing some beating and a couple of formations of Harriers came over rather low and quickly. Apart from saying they were lucky his reactions were that quick otherwise he would have shot them down, he and his mate then went on to tell us all that they were MK6 and Mk 10 Harriers... Navy ones!! He could tell because they were grey.....

How we fell apart laughing!! They didnt realise what the joke was....

Ask him what colour the Hereford Boathouse is.

It's certainly not limited to aviation. I was in London back in 1969 and doing my best to get the leg over with a young American lady of the Jewish persuasion. One night she and her girlfriend (of similar persuasions) insisted on going to an Israeli restaurant on the other side of London that served "real Israeli food". (And of course, ever hopeful, we all tagged along.)

There I learned two things.

(a) Why the Israli Army is so damned good. (Answer: their soldiers are all trying to make it to the decent food on offer in [pick your Arab capital]'s shwarma stands.) The Israeli food, if the "real Israeli food" on offer at that particular "Israeli" London restaurant was anything to go by, is something worth fighting for - to get away from.

And

(b) That Isareli armoured vehicles have incredibly large turrets and multiple commanders. Both these facts must be so, judging by the number of half-pissed young men at the bar in that restaurant that night who claimed to have been the commander of the lead tank into Damascus in the Six Day War of June 1966. It didn't seem polite at the time to remind any of them that as far as we knew, no Israeli tank got anywhere near Damascus in that particular war.

Yes, yes, yes......

But did you get a DCO?

Oh all right then, I confess to exercising my droite de seigneur with a young lady (as permitted under section 5, ARSSE declaration, sub para 4, bul****ters prerogative) by claiming to have been involved in the Iranian Embassy siege. I told her that McAleese et al had been awarded all sorts of gongs, including the QGM and when she asked me what I got, I told her, ............thirty years ! Salaam Alaikum wa rahmatullah wa hy wa barakatuh :E:}

Anybody remember Aldergroves own 'Dark Shadow'?:hmm:

No, but I remember a young officer on FLS at Aldergrove who was so excited about new cloak and dagger role supporting TSW in Ulster that he forgot to do his Gucci, self-purchased, pistol holster up properly leading to it falling out from under his jacket in McDonalds in Belfast.
He was also the chap who decided to leave a van full of lads unattended/protected in Newry whilst he be the other FLS popped to the post office.

Edit:

All young and newly appointed officers need to be watched over and guided by their senior NCOs. The young officer has been thrust into a position of authority but has no or little relevant experiance and it is the duty of the NCOs to guide him accordingly if the need arises, if the YO attempts something that isn't in the best interests of the rest of the unit it should be pointed out to him. And should I add :E?

My wife used to work as a chiropodist in Derbyshire.
One of her fellow foot-fondlers was your typical smooth talking ladies man, having an affair with another corn-flake.
He was a part-time member of the SAS, honest.
He once turned up at this girlfriends house having smeared engine oil on his face - he hadn't had time to clean himself up after that nights training.

Mind you i used to work with Ozzy Osbourne's roadie, tuning guitars and everything before he went on stage. I'm sure he was ex special forces as well.

Does this make me a Veteran?
 

I once ate the whole contents of an RAF Lyneham Lumpy box -

Salmonella on a stick (chicken leg to the uninitiated)
Growler (pork pie - usually only on weekend SKE flights)
Lark's vomit sandwich (sandwich spread)
Dairylea and crackers
Mars bar (had to take that home or face the wrath of a 3 year old)
All washed down with a tea made by Pete Tyas.

Now can I tell war stories, pleeeeeeze, can I huh??