terry toweling,

Very interesting and illuminating. Your stories fill in lots of blanks. All that most of us ever hear of what you say is the rumour in confidence bits and that does not go far. Publically all we see is the DCM, name and rank, the charge, and the punishment. We rarely get any inkling of the nature of the offence.

Justice seen to be done it is not.

True, no names, but if you don't know it is going on then detection and deterence is non-existent.

However remember that throughout this tread there are continual references to the good job that you and your colleagues are doing. As you showed there are many black sheep outside your ranks; clearly there will be a few inside as well.

One magpie you didn't mention was the rock aux who kept ammunition in a sqn garage; just in case.

Terry

You have my utmost admiration for doing jobs many of us would find thoroughly objctionable. And yes, glass houses does come into thought when you remind us that many of our kith and kin are also vulnerable to the temptations many are not caught for. As a group of professionals, we are used to exposing those who perform below the standard and that includes all branches and trades. However, in the case of this thread, there are a large group of individuals who have suffered at the hands of the less mature individuals from your trade group. Please see the JPA thread to see how we have demonised the scribbly grown ups. Accept that some of your ilk are knobs, like many other trades and branches but acknowledge that the effect of their knobness is disproportionate to their importance.

4f

For the record, I have 2 coppers on my staff and they are diamond geezers

TT,

Let's get things into focus. What percentage of the workforce are you talking about?

I'll bet that its on a par, or lower than civvie street. Remember you get good and bad in all walks of life. The police force I work for has sacked a small number of officers and civvies in the 19 years I've been working for them, many for minor misdemeanors but I admit a few more serious offences but out of 3000 plus officers and 2500 civvie staff its less than 1 per cent.

I'll also bet that you have taken the pi$$ out of many in your trade and come across many a jobsworth there as well.

Please don't call us and we won't call you either.

Good day, Apeman

ps. Oh I forgot to mention. If you are what you say you are you will know of the Police magazine. Please read Dogberry, now and again, and you will see that the civvie police are more than happy to take the pi$$ out of ourselves

TT most of us do actually apreciate what the cops no mater what uniform they wear have to deal with. In my job I deal with them on a regular basis in investigations of assualts. The ones who approach with a little humanity and are civil get helped the ones who are officious and demand were they should ask find their job alot harder. Most people here me included wouldn't want to do your job but.... many think you might find things easier with a polite smile and a little humanity there is a time and a place for bending the rules a little and it may pay dividens in making you seem more approachable and human.
Most of my mates are PSNI and most of them say there is a time and a place for humour and helping people like the Herc full of tired squaddies just back from a long tour who want to get home. You're at the end of your 22 so your experience will probably have told you all this the problem seems to be mainly the ones straight from the factory who need a little guidance from the old hands.

ooh!!
seemed I've re ignited the thread. As i thought, best form of defence is attack eh ZH whatever you are:{ As for maple brain on a chain joke AGAIN.....BRILLIANT!!!!! you're a literary genius, more please. If i can't take banter leave?!!! Heavens no i've just found this bad boy and am looking for the sport that is green slime int boy
I did laff at a number of the comments posted and after 22 yrs I THINK I've got the hang of banter. Some of them I know are true and others lost in the mists of time. (Never let the truth get in the way of a good story eh!!) I think we can ALL agree that there are knobbers in all ranks n trades and I agree that we have more than our fair share that are let loose on suspecting and unsuspecting service personnel but i wanted to redress the balance, Good try porky/aes dude!
Clicker i was not having a go at bobbies in general only stating that i have been with your colleagues who have no idea to the standard we are trained to and are somewhat surprised to hear us doing your (home office) courses and being asked to assist in inquuiries involving service personnel in civvy matters. (Recently worked on an attempted murder with a major crime unit. No names no pack drill) I had a civ bobby dog handler on a drug dog training exercise put some gear out for my drugs dog. On his return from the building he hid the gear in he said i doubt your labs'll find the gear i haven't had one beat me yet. 15 mins later completed the search with all samples found. Now i'll put some gear out for you shall i . No it's okay he said i'll use the same hides as i put out for you. I didn't persue it as i wanted to keep a professional relationship going and not embarras him into not finding my gear. He clearly had never done a blind search before and had relied on always putting his own gear out. Same thing happened when i went to work with the IOM drug squad for TT fortnight. Always trying to catch me out. And yes I always read the police review. We also have an equivalent called the provost parade which also has self ridicule articles and cartoon strips. I've had a great time in the RAF and will miss the banter and friends INCLUDING ones I have made and am still in touch with from other trades that have long since moved onto pastures new (units and or civvy St).
Having found this little gem i will be watching and reading with great interest the threads to come (Particularly liked the parody of the American mission statement nice one!!):D
TT

Scene: Lovely airshow at a nice RAF base near some wonderful golfing.

Private owned aircraft on static display properly fenced off by the host.

Thousands roaming around admiring the show and aircraft.

Up walks an Engineer friend from days long gone by in desert climes.

Upon discerning he did not recognize me, I teased him silly until he finally tweaked to who I was. Just shy of 28 years since we had met.

I invite him and his dear Dad and Son into the enclosure for a closer look.

He climbs in to view the cockpit....and up shows the RAF Policeman.

Plod states clearly....."Not On...no one in the aircraft or behind the fence...security you know.

Er, Corp....I know this man...have known him for over thirty years...former RAF he is.

Plod restates the policy....

Er, Corp....the man just there is the owner and he gave his approval.

Plod, nicely but with certainty says....that doesn't matter...cannot take a risk of something happening to the aircraft you know.

Not wishing to offend our hosts....we retired to the beer tent to re-tell old lies.

It served me well for over twenty years, why change effective banter just because it's old? I work for the real police, they can take the p@ss with the best of them.

You'll notice the slagging is targeted, LAC A/Cpl Secoricor/Stasi types mainly

Now, where are those barrier stories you promised?;)

Jeez, TT, With all this murder and mayhem wherever you are its a wonder your not called Jessica Fletcher!

you're assuming I'm not called Jessica Fletcher?!!!

TT
What's this Terry Towelling fortnight on the Isle of Man you're talking about?

It's a 2 week festival and racing tribute to the flexibilty of cotton and cotton related products, culminating in a final dash around the mountain in terry towelling racing suits. The winner recieving a life subscription to "The Versatility Of Cotton Products" and The Bumper Book Of Swatches, from 'Fruit of the Loom'. It's great you should go some time. You like cotton?

... I believe "fnarr fnarr" to be the appropriate comment.

[No disrespect, only joking, banterstat attempt etc etc....]

The MT poster campaign on TELIC is "Nobody likes a dirty Snatch". Comments?!!
The snatch's i got into despite blowing air into them were dusty, hot and cramped, and nowhere to put your sandwiches, but when it was moving it was nice to pop your head out with your rifle and get the breeze!!

And folk wonder why some of us turn out gay :\

TT, I feel very sorry for your missus/ex gf's. That really is no way to treat a lady, no matter how dry and dusty her snatch is.

Use a fridge or cool box for your lunch next time.

Agree with your rant by the way, copper bashing seems to be the in thing at the moment, regulaters on Rum ration have recently been getting crap for doing their job.

Rum Ration? Won't last. Heavily over-modded over there, I know people who are leaving for the healthier confines of ARRSE and PPRUNE. Of course, if discussing HMS GANGES is your thing, or manking about how great things used to be, then you are onto a good thing. But you are still at the whim of a 9 year served ex-Wren who turned one area of the site into her own personal chat room......

Regulators are the less intelligent, less well trained version of the RAF Police. The only benefit is that because we get the version with less brain cells (they won't even issue them dogs because they would forget to feed them), we get away with far more!

Popeye, I know a few regs that'll disagree with your last remark, having worked on a number of Joint units (God bless defence cuts). One of them being a fish'eads favourite haunt, Gib. You are not as progressive yet. Being the senior service you're still hanging onto the traditions that have served you throughout the ages, and served you well. Damn these liberal minded tree hugging human rights!! But you're being dragged kicking and screaming into the twety first century (joint Police school - we lovingly call South Park!)
We in the RAF don't have traditions as such they're more like habits, being so junior, but are quite a progressive service even if we do prefer to check-in as opposed to dig in.

Terry, I have had a great laugh reading this thread over the last week or so. No malice against the RAFP, just cheered up by the stories. You, however, have killed the fun element and turned ito something far more serious than it had become. Thanks. Haven't you got some cabinet combinations to wander round station changing and leave the rest of us to it?

Yeah.. The cabinets i deal with day in day out is a regular old caibnet fest. OC cabinets is what i do.
As someone pointed out to me earlier if can't take the banter.....FO!!
Now call your nurse tell her you need your nap now but not before you've been changed or had your bag emptied whichever end of the age scale you fit, tirdeness really does make you grumpy:ok:

Am I alone in detecting a faint whiff of Eau de Walt emanating from this thread of late?

Hardly! Why on earth would anyone want to "Walt" it as a Service Policeman? Just to prove that they could have made it in civvy street as a real copper, but just decided that they would rather do it in the Forces?

Here's some to be going on with, Pompey.
http://www.redcapsatwar.co.uk/

Can I name and shame the Copper that couldn't change combinations and had to ask me to do it for him? Therefore I could get into his secret draws (oo-er) or perhaps a PPRuNer could give an overview of P&SSs' witchfinding skills.

Edit: An Teallach what sick perverse thing were you looking for when you found that?

Maple, old chum - I seemed to remember RMP Walts appearing in another place, hence a google was in order to illustrate to Pompey that there is no depth to which the Walt will not sink! :eek:

Cx PMs!

Walt Redcaps! How frightening is that? Especially the bit which says that you can join "if you already have your own uniform" and you get issued with a "CMP Warrant Card".

These guys seem a little bit keen for re-enactors (ie site security...)

Then there is "You will also be legible for discounts at certain militaria / uniform suppliers" - how do you become "illegible"?

Just because I knew some green slime doesn’t make me one! My beret was finest Russian Hussar blue, with coffee and chinagraph stains obviously

She is a bit of a care bear at times. I think th emodding here is a bit more overbearing though, I had a thread culled just cause I ripped into the french...I thought it was expected of me.

Did you know that Redcaps like a bit of boy-on-boy action? So it seems on the walts' site..

http://www.redcapsatwar.co.uk/arrest.jpeg

Maple - Just as well you're not green slime! There's a distinct Cypress tinge to the beret of that lad. You'd better hope that Terence Walter Towelling isn't similarly attracted to RAF Int types.
Ooooh Mmmaaaatron! Be Afraid, be very afraid! :}

I see your point AT (oo-er) you'd have thought he'd have offered dinner and a movie first......no manners some people.........

Fuuny old thing about Walts, they do just keep appearing out of the woodwork!

At a public vehicle rally, I noticed a somewhat misplaced Snowdrop doing some rather odd things. On approaching said chap (and noting that he really was dressed for the part), I asked him for his 1250.

After trying to bluff for a moment, he rather sheepishly admitted that he wasn't who he was purporting to be. I did see him again at another event, but this time was wearing something Khaki, hairy and above all, old enough to be his grandmother :ooh:

Must be bad enough being one - but you've got to worry about people who impersonate RAF coppers!

Put another way, if you impersonated a traffic warden should you be allowed your freedom?

A Cpl of the RAF police entered SHQ late one evening and was surprised to find the lights still on in a couple of offices. After further investigation he found OC Admin in the photo-copying room puzzling over the myriad of technological machines and instruments of electronic administration before him. "Evening, Sir, working late are we?" Cpl enquires.
"Er, hello, corporal. Yes, just catching up on some paperwork. Actually I'm glad you're here. Truth is, all this bloody technology is a bit beyond me and I can't seem to get this damn machine to work. Can you help?" Cpl sees chance to impress and steps forward purposefully. "Leave it to me, sir!" as he grabs the dozen or so sheets of paper from the Wg Cdr and leans forward to switch the shredder on at the mains. As he feeds the papers into depths of the shredder the Wg Cdr says, "Well done Cpl, great job. I'll need six copies each of those, thank you.":=

If your parents were married before you were born, perhaps?:}

Get an MB ChB and become a General Practitioner.

My RAFP experiences
 

hey guys now i have my loggin sorted i thougt i would tell you of a few experiences i had with our finest RAFP , some good, most bad though.

First the good one, when i finishes recruit training at Halton my course was delayed three weeks so i was stiffed with a week of night shift guard, there was me 3 othe ACs and two RAFP corprals and a SGT RAFP. First night of guard the SNCO told us the next time we called them by rank we would be cleaning out the kennels and it was all first name terms, during the course of the week those three blokes were tops, sound as a pound , (they were all substansive) i took ill during that week the SNCO came round the block with some magazines for me , stuff like that like. So Yes I do appreciate there are RAFP out there who are sound like, now for the amusing stories......

when i finished the above guard i was on leave, the first time of my RAF career and i was full of the joys of life, all i had to do was go to stores and grab a new berret,(i was in my civies at this point)a group of maybe 5 SACs went through the gate flashed there IDs and customery "morning mate" i approached and showed him my 1250 the conversation went like this .......

Me :- "morning buddy, nice morning?"
18yr old RAFP:- "let me see your ID please"
i handed him the 1250,after about 20 seconds
RAFP:- are you on a course here?
Me:- no am on TDF waiting for my course to start at cosford
Pause as his brain tries to work
RAFP:- well MR ******, I am not your mate and the next time you call me mate i will have you sent to colchester, am going to see your boss later

I was slightly stunned at the guys atttitude and manor like

Me:- well look first of all cpl. my ID says am a AC not MR so address me by my rank please,second there is no way the RAF will let you throw me in the glass house for calling you mate , and thirdly go see my boss however as far as he is concerned i am on leave and when i get back ai leave the next morning.

RAFP :- bu bu but you cant talk to me like that,
Me:- Look your happy thats me on the 1250 am off to grab my bag and catch my train, have a good day

And i walked off, yes i was in the wrong , however he didnt need to speak to me in a way to make me feel as though i was something his brain left in its kennel, i was only trying to be civil. my second story involving happened a couple of year ago..

it was the 22nd of december, i had f:mad:ked up , (i was five minutes late i think)so my "punishment" was to get some mince meat pies for the weapons desk, we had to dro some PSPs back to the bay, so i stayed in my overalls and my mate who drives threw on some blues we put the PSPs in the wagon, and the plan was i would take the PSPs back to the bay and sort the paperworkmy mate would go to the SPAR and get the pies, five minutes after am dropped off my mate returns minus pies "the SPAR has none we will need to nick into the village jump in" ON LEAVING CAMP WE WAVED TO THE RAFP AND HE WAVED BACK, so we toddle down to the village return sporting a dozen pies get to the gate, (am in overalls, hi-viz vest and ear defenders,in a service vehicle with someone in RAF uniform)

RAFP:- morning can i see your car pas
my mate:- yeah there its
RAFP:- your 1250s
my mate showed him his
Me:- Eh yeah I dont seem to have mines with me
RAFP:- where is it i can charge you for not having it
Me:- well its in my locker
RAFP:- why you should carry it at ALL time
ME:- But i cant, i was working a jet and its a FOD hazard
RAFP:- You arent on a jet now are you? How do you expect to get on MY camp?
Me:- yeah i didnt realise i would be off camp, we had to grab some pies from the village( trying to plead my case) and my mate here can vouch who i say i am
RAFP:-No he cant
Me:- Why?
RAFP:- because i dont believe him, go to the guard room,phone your section, get someone to come to come down from the Sqn to establish your identity and get a temporary ID!

I went in to guard room where my bosses wife unknown to me at the time worked explained my case and she came out and vouched for me, tyical copper full of xmass cheer, again he was right i was wrong but he could have shown a bit more tact. by getting me to get one of the sqn lads to come down he was trying to cause as much hassle for me at work as possible like for no reason.

My last story doesnt directly involve me however we sat with open jaws when we heard, one wedensdaynight 1am our phone goes, "this is :mad: over on Q, are you using your wagon?" he asks "no why?". It transpired that A had driven over to the block in the QRA van (the QRA wagon has QRA all over it in, its so well known no one bothers to ID you in it) to pick up some stuff, parked up outside the block and left the keys in the ignition, not the brightest thing but no major biggie, he emerged from the block , to find the keys missing,phoned the the QRA commander, the QRA phoned the cops and advised them the lad was needed fo servicea Q jet, the cops told him there was no way the would give the keys back to the lad untill he presented himself for a meeting with FS police with all his documents and in blues , to disscuss "the need for service vehicle security", when the SNCO pointed out the lad was on QRA duty, the SNCO was told that the essentially that was not the RAFP fault and the lad should have thought about that before he left the keys, and there was no way he would get the keys back before 9am next morning. the QRA commander asked whether the RAFP wanted him to inform the strike that northen Q was off state, they told him "thats your call" At this point our JENGO got involved, a few phone calls later and one pissed off OC ENG, the keys were delivered eventually back to the lad, we heard later in the week the old OC police had every member of the the police flight in the crew room at attention to explain the importance of QRA, then had them go over to QRA for a tour to remind them of the reason the station is there (Nice one sir , where ever you are now!) O the new OC plod doesnt believe in visual recognition of people now so the guard force now have a 100% 1250 check and he has told them that he will charge any guard who doesnt ID him at the gate, wonder how long that will last!!!!!

Now i told youy theses anncedotes to amuse you and high light my experiences with coppers, now in every case we were in the wrong but its the coppers people skills that largely irritate the rest of the RAF, but lets not forget though its not just coppers in my abate limited experience the further people are from the aircraft the more bull**** you have to cut through to get stuff done,and i include techie bays in that too by the way. a LAC threatend to charge me for being late in the med centre for being 5mins late for the appointment,when i had a 15min wait at the runway traffic lights.PSF P1 who bollocked me out for whistling on my way to work , (as he leaned out a window smoking) and the PSF adminer who told me to come back on monday for my rail card(someone handed it in) as the lad who dealt with it went home for the wknd, at 11am on a friday.

terry mate chill out, if i had to throw my dummy out my cot every time ppl take the mick pout of plumbers i would be stir crazy at the minute, ok bud

anyways i awiat your replies and observations

This mentality that requires to see an ID card every time even for a person known to the security operative has always intrigued me.

Surely the whole idea is to ensure the person requiring entry is correctly identified. Any ID can be forged. A person, appearing in person cannot. However, one supposes that this requires some initiative on behalf of the security personnel.

Initiative...mmm!

In '85 I was flying a Gazelle (Exercise Lionheart) for the purpose of Airfield Damage Repair Recce. As soon as possible after an air raid we were required to recce the airfield and complete a paper map report in the air, logging any bomb craters or other items requiring attention. As this was done in radio silence the SOP was to hover over the Commcen carpark and drop the completed report form through the message chute in a weighted bag. The RAF policeman outside was briefed to immediately get the report inside.

Day one, air raids came and went, no problem, system worked well.

Day two, second Gazelle was in use (different hull letter). First air raid over, we got airborne, completed our recce and hovered over the carpark, as before. The Royal Engineer observer opened the message chute and dropped the report in its bag, as before. The RAFP on duty, (same policeman as yesterday) immediately sprang into action. Great.

Except that instead of picking up the message, he took out his 9mm pistol and aimed it upwards, simulating the firing of ten rounds into the aircraft hovering above him, apparently shouting "Bang, Bang, Bang!"

Policeman was debriefed shortly after. He said that yesterday the aircraft had an "F" for friend painted on its nose - today it had an "E" for enemy - so he shot it down......

True story!!

I can remember having a request for Plasma/LCD screen turned down, not for costs though. It was becuase the RAFP said we could not plug it into CCIS as no one else was allowed to see our screen while we were logged in.

Just how are Int supposed to brief crews flying into Iraq/Afgn then?



I remember doing my U SY Os course and we all invited there 2 scuffer instructors out with us that evening for a beer. They nearly fainted, we were the first course to do it!!!! That says it all...

ROYAL AIR FORCE POLICE(SNOWDROPS)
 

Surely this is a "come-on"?

OK, I'll bite. I'd venture to suggest that the MT driver who drives a bus full of children to the XMAS outing has a whole lot more responsibility on his shoulders than the plod guarding a building.

Sub Cpl on completion of a noddy course? In your dreams. Maybe the RAF needs a JNCO rank specifically for RAFP. Not like a JT, who is not an NCO. A rank which is an NCO rank, and therefore can issue orders, but of sufficiently minimal standing that it is an admin convenience. Like the Redcap LCPLs.

The fact is that nearly all ranks and trades in all the forces have a need to exist, to ensure that the job is done. Some are more essential than others though, and of the RAF ground trades, the ones that get the aircraft in the air with all the right bits on them are the more important ones. Sure, the chefs need to feed the techies, and the Dibble needs to guard the airfield, but at the end of the day, the most basic things that everyone learns in the forces is how to guard and feed themselves.

That said, the RAF Police have an outstanding role in the "blue light taxi" service, and I got on just fine with the Snowdrops when I served with the RAF. Mostly because they were sub Cpls in their late 20s, not snot nosed little $hits, and those that were, were kept in check by the older hands. We helped them out with Army bits of kit that they weren't scaled for, and they left us alone. Good deal all round.