"Ohh those, very hush hush, but what I can say is you didn't really think BAE had an all singing all dancing Radar system in those great big radomes on the cancelled Nimrod AEW programme did you?, that was just what they told Joe public to get the funding through."

"Good God Smithers...how in the hell did we both manage to lose our dogs at the exact same time eh?"

The first recorded instance of a major catastrophy in a national defence procurement contract caused by confusing metric and imperial measures was in 1941 when the Japanese Army ordered new band instruments in anticipation of a rash of victory parades.
The second resulted in a large number of what were called "midget submarines" in order to save face.
The subsequent hara-kiri suicides among the Imperial MoD procurement staffs provided sufficient kamikazi personel for the remainder of the war.

Smithers....your concept is most interesting! Being able to hear Rats pissing on Cotton at a thousand meters is impressive...but what about the Artillery Bombardment....might that cause a problem?

" The Rt Hon Lt Wupert Smithers ( Eton, Oxford and Sandhurst ) was jolly miffed when it was explained to him that his efforts to lean the brass section of the regimental band were not quite what the top brass expected "

"...so you see Sir, when the time comes we can rapidly deploy our equipment to determine once and for all - who farted, no matter where!"

"Right, Bloggs, so we have the biggest horn in the world. Any plans for a giant hand that can make the required gestures to go with it?"

" ... so Smithers, did you ever bother to check the background of this Dr Seuss fellow?"

The original sub-woofer used in the early Datsuns

"Since the RAF won't invest in ANR headsets - this is the only way my alarm clock will wake me up!"

"Well, Sir, we heard the RAF were masters of playing the pink oboe, so we thought we'd better out-trump them before the defence cuts kick in."





Edited to add: LurkerBelow.........brilliant :ok:

Yes Emperor, the scrap metal drive is going well, although we did have to reach a compromise with the Kyoto Philharmonic...

We intend to deploy them out on any greens Greg is aiming for, the idea is we will wheel them over the hole, aim them towards Greg, then hopefully he will be able get the ball in one of the four large funnels, the ball will then drop down this central support and into the hole.






:E

Judging Time!

Third place to Runaway Gun with:
Second (I know) to Buster with:
Good spotting of Hirohito there!


But the winner is LurkerBelow for:
Over to you Lurker!

Following the theme of aircraft doing strange things:

http://i43.tinypic.com/2ilzceq.jpg

NATO wanted to be absolutely certain when they targeted Gaddafi's convoy.

Test shows that a car filled with explosives and one or more religious fundamentalists does not meet requirements for an air-dropped 'smart bomb'.

Eagle's behaviour is unpredictable during the mating season.

I see the boss's wife has improved her parking skills.

The extra motor shortens the take-off run and you can land in Tesco's carpark.