Carrier Names
Join Date: Jan 2003
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(In the style of Baldrick)
Sir I have a cunning Plan...
Well you know about Sods Law, if we call the ships HMS Early and HMS Splendid. One of them will most likely be Late and the other a real rustbucket.
So I propose we call them 'HMS Broke in Port' and 'HMS Oh my god we ******ed up the contract again'. What could possibly go wrong?
Sir I have a cunning Plan...
Well you know about Sods Law, if we call the ships HMS Early and HMS Splendid. One of them will most likely be Late and the other a real rustbucket.
So I propose we call them 'HMS Broke in Port' and 'HMS Oh my god we ******ed up the contract again'. What could possibly go wrong?
From the views I see presented in this forum.......HMS Reluctant and HMS Gunshy might be more appropriate.
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
Now, now SASless. Haven't we always turned up when you asked?
(In fact, the one time we didn't turn up for Vietnam - which you lost. In the meantime we sorted out the communists in Malaysia and Borneo. Let that be a lesson of what happens when we don't come along to look after you.
)
(In fact, the one time we didn't turn up for Vietnam - which you lost. In the meantime we sorted out the communists in Malaysia and Borneo. Let that be a lesson of what happens when we don't come along to look after you.
)
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: UK
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Ooohh, let me see now:
HMS Wannafite?
HMS Whaasgoinon?
HMS Beckham?
HMS Unpronouncable?
Perhaps in recognition of the number of blunties and beancounters on board
HMS O
Or maybe sponsored like this:
HMS MacDonalds in association with SKY TV
HMS Eastender
HMS Coronation Street
HMS Queen Vic
Politically Correct
HMS Inclusive
HMS Genderless
HMS peace and love ship
Or even more PC
Peoples love ship
Ah I have it!
,
USS Great Britain
HMS Wannafite?
HMS Whaasgoinon?
HMS Beckham?
HMS Unpronouncable?
Perhaps in recognition of the number of blunties and beancounters on board
HMS O
Or maybe sponsored like this:
HMS MacDonalds in association with SKY TV
HMS Eastender
HMS Coronation Street
HMS Queen Vic
Politically Correct
HMS Inclusive
HMS Genderless
HMS peace and love ship
Or even more PC
Peoples love ship
Ah I have it!
,
USS Great Britain
Join Date: Jul 2002
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Given this wonderful spirit of anglo-French co-operation, I'm in favour of HMS Joan of Ark (sic).
I'm not sure about the other one. How about HMS Johnny Morris in case it turns out to be a white elephant?
I'm not sure about the other one. How about HMS Johnny Morris in case it turns out to be a white elephant?
When we got there it became obvious that someone had put the wings back on the Corsair upside down...
Join Date: Feb 2002
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In light of the shortage of paint in the MoD at the moment (see the "cant we afford a tin of paint" post, it has been decided that the ships will remain nameless (just like the blithering bunch of idiotic beancounters & paper pushers that will ensure these ships are at least 5 years late entering service). And thats before BAE get there fingers on the project.
Over the course of the projected 40 year life span of the vessels it is estimated that in real terms, the savings made by not having to repaint the names during refits/dry docking/routine maintenance, a saving of about £50 per ship can be made. This is equivalent to 10 packets of 500 sheet A4 paper at Office World, which will enable the beancounters and paper pushers to have the paper they need to properly administer these vessels.
Over the course of the projected 40 year life span of the vessels it is estimated that in real terms, the savings made by not having to repaint the names during refits/dry docking/routine maintenance, a saving of about £50 per ship can be made. This is equivalent to 10 packets of 500 sheet A4 paper at Office World, which will enable the beancounters and paper pushers to have the paper they need to properly administer these vessels.
Join Date: Jan 2003
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I thing we need to get back to having names that both sound A/ 'British' and B/ strike fear into our enimies!
So How about
HMS MILLWALL
AND
HMS "YOURGOINHOMEINAFU*KINABULANCEOY!"
OR WITH MORE LEANING TOWARDS B/strike fear into our enimies!;
HMS STUFFTHEEURO
BUT IF THE LABOUR PARTY GET THEIR SAY (GIVEN THE FACT THEY ARE SO SPINELESS THEY APPEASED THE FRENCH BY LETTING THEM DRAW UP THE CARRIER DESIGN (THAT LOOKS LIKE A CRICKET BAT!))
"THEY'LL SAY YOU CAN CALL ONE
HMS NELSON AS LONG AS THE OTHERS CALLED
HMS MANDELLA
So How about
HMS MILLWALL
AND
HMS "YOURGOINHOMEINAFU*KINABULANCEOY!"
OR WITH MORE LEANING TOWARDS B/strike fear into our enimies!;
HMS STUFFTHEEURO
BUT IF THE LABOUR PARTY GET THEIR SAY (GIVEN THE FACT THEY ARE SO SPINELESS THEY APPEASED THE FRENCH BY LETTING THEM DRAW UP THE CARRIER DESIGN (THAT LOOKS LIKE A CRICKET BAT!))
"THEY'LL SAY YOU CAN CALL ONE
HMS NELSON AS LONG AS THE OTHERS CALLED
HMS MANDELLA
CVFs Aggressor, Wimbledonian
LPDs Invader, Savage
Type 45 Destroyers Vicious, Venomous, Vituperative, Vengeful, Voracious, Vapid, ******, Whiskysot, Wobbly (thus reviving the V and W Class)
T23 Frigates Repellent, Repulsive, Repugnant, Risible, Ridiculous, Redundant
SSNs Irresponsible, Unjustifiable
MCMVs Suicidal, Foolhardy, Unwise, Quixotic, Idiotic
RFAs Logistician, Bureaucrat, Wave Chiropodist, Fort Futility, Fort Bankrupt, Unwilling Reservist, Empire Insignificant
SSBNs Horrific, Appalling, Terrifying, Radioactive, Troglodyte
STUFT for Embarked Force Support - none owing to lack of Merchant Navy
oh yes....LPH Ocean!
It was meant to be funny, alright? Sorry....
LPDs Invader, Savage
Type 45 Destroyers Vicious, Venomous, Vituperative, Vengeful, Voracious, Vapid, ******, Whiskysot, Wobbly (thus reviving the V and W Class)
T23 Frigates Repellent, Repulsive, Repugnant, Risible, Ridiculous, Redundant
SSNs Irresponsible, Unjustifiable
MCMVs Suicidal, Foolhardy, Unwise, Quixotic, Idiotic
RFAs Logistician, Bureaucrat, Wave Chiropodist, Fort Futility, Fort Bankrupt, Unwilling Reservist, Empire Insignificant
SSBNs Horrific, Appalling, Terrifying, Radioactive, Troglodyte
STUFT for Embarked Force Support - none owing to lack of Merchant Navy
oh yes....LPH Ocean!
It was meant to be funny, alright? Sorry....
I like names such as Prince of Wales and Royal Oak, but if we can't have those I wouldn't mind The Royal Arms, Cross-Keys and such like.
(Or even Head of the River as long as there was a nice picture painted beside the name.)
(Or even Head of the River as long as there was a nice picture painted beside the name.)
Join Date: Jan 2001
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Surley we need to return to the good old days of aggressive names and not the PC HMS Pink and Fluffy! Maybe Tony Blair could hold a referendum to decide, provided of course 5 particular tests were correct, ie ordered, steel cut, funded, enough aircraft to fly off it and enough crew to man it!
Glasgow's Gallus Gigolo .... PPRuNeing is like making love to a beautiful woman ... I take hours.
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If we're going to get sidetracked into destroyer names, there is one that's due for re-use: Ardent. Although I admit it's not a very lucky name for a ship...
ORAC....
As I heard it....the only reason you lot sat out the thing in Vietnam is you felt the North Vietnamese were doing pretty well without your help. Is that true?
As I heard it....the only reason you lot sat out the thing in Vietnam is you felt the North Vietnamese were doing pretty well without your help. Is that true?
They did do pretty well though, didn't they?
They beat you guys. Or were those film clips of you lot fleeing from the embassy roof in what is now Ho Chi Minh City evidence of a stunning US victory which liberals like me have somehow misinterpreted?
Other US military successes in which we didn't participate. Somalia, Urgent Fury, Eagle Claw.......
So HMS Reluctant and HMS Gunshy? Your next two will have to be USS Farcical and USS Hopeless, presumably, on that basis then?
They beat you guys. Or were those film clips of you lot fleeing from the embassy roof in what is now Ho Chi Minh City evidence of a stunning US victory which liberals like me have somehow misinterpreted?
Other US military successes in which we didn't participate. Somalia, Urgent Fury, Eagle Claw.......
So HMS Reluctant and HMS Gunshy? Your next two will have to be USS Farcical and USS Hopeless, presumably, on that basis then?
Last edited by Jackonicko; 2nd Feb 2003 at 17:54.
Due to the nation's obsession with football and celebs, why not: HMS Sir David Beckham and HMS Lady Victoria Beckham? Or to keep the kiddies happy: HMS Pinky and HMS Perky.
