Supply Stupidities
Thread Starter
Supply Stupidities
The B1 windshield thread got me thinking off some of the ridiculous goings on in the supply system I have experienced
1) When I was the deck officer on a small ship the Buffer informed me that the ship to buoy shackle was cracked. I told him to go to the base supply depot and get a new one. He called me from the depot saying they would not give him one because they only had one and if they gave it to us they would have none. I went down to explain that this part only fit our ship so we were the only ones who would ever want it, but they were adamant that the rules required them to always have one in stock. In the end it was simpler to get the fleet maintenance facility to weld repair the old shackle over forcing the supply system to cough up the part.
2) Also as a junior officer many years ago I was the skipper of a 75 ft navy training vessel. We were doing a navigation course for 8 new officers and was in the days of old school gyro bearing position fixes plotted on a paper chart. I went to stores to get some supplies including a box of pencils. The reply from the Supply PO in a very aggrieved tone . I can't give you a whole box and besides I gave you TWO pencils last week !
3) As Captain of a minesweeper. In the early 1990's the Canadian Armed Forces transitioned from the excellent FN rifle in 7.62 to the C7 a Canadian knock off of the M16. The C 7 fires 5.56 rounds so when we were ordered to turn in our old rifles and ammo we gave back our 4 FN's and 1000 rounds of 7.62 Ops Stock and got 4 C7's an 971 rounds of 5.56. In fact the 1000 round box had been open and 29 rounds removed. When the crew reported this I called the Military Police to report a possible ammo theft. Well it turned out that the bin rats counted rifle ammo by cost not quantity and the 5.56 round was slightly more expensive so were were only eligible to be issued 971 rounds
4) As CO of a land based unit I knew there was always a budget burn near the end of the fiscal year, so I placed an advanced order for some new lap top computers. Sure enough on the last day of the fiscal year my Admin clerk told me there was a truck at the door and I needed to go sign some papers. So I go to the parking lot and there is flat bed truck with a large wooden crate. I asked where were our laptops, and the reply was, "Dunno, but that box is for you". Examining the paper work I realized that yes it was addressed to my unit but instead of lap tops the supply system had sent me the computer for a submarine fire control system
. My first thought was to sign for it and see what else showed up 
, but I resisted the urge. However it finally took the Base Commanders staff to sort out that mess, and I never did get my laptops 
1) When I was the deck officer on a small ship the Buffer informed me that the ship to buoy shackle was cracked. I told him to go to the base supply depot and get a new one. He called me from the depot saying they would not give him one because they only had one and if they gave it to us they would have none. I went down to explain that this part only fit our ship so we were the only ones who would ever want it, but they were adamant that the rules required them to always have one in stock. In the end it was simpler to get the fleet maintenance facility to weld repair the old shackle over forcing the supply system to cough up the part.
2) Also as a junior officer many years ago I was the skipper of a 75 ft navy training vessel. We were doing a navigation course for 8 new officers and was in the days of old school gyro bearing position fixes plotted on a paper chart. I went to stores to get some supplies including a box of pencils. The reply from the Supply PO in a very aggrieved tone . I can't give you a whole box and besides I gave you TWO pencils last week !
3) As Captain of a minesweeper. In the early 1990's the Canadian Armed Forces transitioned from the excellent FN rifle in 7.62 to the C7 a Canadian knock off of the M16. The C 7 fires 5.56 rounds so when we were ordered to turn in our old rifles and ammo we gave back our 4 FN's and 1000 rounds of 7.62 Ops Stock and got 4 C7's an 971 rounds of 5.56. In fact the 1000 round box had been open and 29 rounds removed. When the crew reported this I called the Military Police to report a possible ammo theft. Well it turned out that the bin rats counted rifle ammo by cost not quantity and the 5.56 round was slightly more expensive so were were only eligible to be issued 971 rounds
4) As CO of a land based unit I knew there was always a budget burn near the end of the fiscal year, so I placed an advanced order for some new lap top computers. Sure enough on the last day of the fiscal year my Admin clerk told me there was a truck at the door and I needed to go sign some papers. So I go to the parking lot and there is flat bed truck with a large wooden crate. I asked where were our laptops, and the reply was, "Dunno, but that box is for you". Examining the paper work I realized that yes it was addressed to my unit but instead of lap tops the supply system had sent me the computer for a submarine fire control system
. My first thought was to sign for it and see what else showed up , but I resisted the urge. However it finally took the Base Commanders staff to sort out that mess, and I never did get my laptops
Last edited by Big Pistons Forever; 14th Jan 2024 at 19:15.
The following 7 users liked this post by Big Pistons Forever:
Top Answer
16th Jan 2024, 15:08
When MOGWI snr was de-mobbed in 1946, he rather wanted to keep his “lucky” Irvin flying jacket. He noticed that any returned jackets that were not serviceable were being burnt on a bonfire, behind stores. Queue a quick, night raid on the smouldering heap, which supplied an unserviceable jacket that could be duly returned into the system, instead of his “old friend”.
I still have it!
Mog
I still have it!
Mog
Send ' three and fourpence' we are going to a dance !!
The following users liked this post:
An airline I was once acquainted with had a fleet of 737-200's. Soon after delivery Boeing realise a vital pin in the wing to fuselage joint was not to the latest production spec on some aircraft, so they issued a Service Bulletin listing the effected airframes. Boeing would supply the correct pins FOC, to be fitted at the first heavy maintenance input. A mod was raised, the parts ordered and on arrival they went into stock. Some six years later they were needed but had gone, disposed of in a stock reduction scheme as being none moving stock, sold to a parts trader who had sold them on to a less efficient operator who had not even ordered them when they were FOC. It cost a fortune for a small batch to be made.
The following 2 users liked this post by sandringham1:
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Cambridgeshire
Age: 77
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Canberra
I remember years ago putting in a stores demand for an inexpensive Canberra spare only to be told that the M.U. holding the spare had no transport to dispatch a complete fuselage. Seems that somewhere in the system finger trouble occurred. Mine or theirs?
It can work in your favour, The gliding club I was with in RAFG came across a cable crimping tool that it was deemed could be useful on winch cables, but it was not complete. Through the supply system. we put in for a new tool from the good folks up near Carlisle and a new tool duly arrived, Then they woke up the fact that the Station had no need such a device and demanded it be returned. So we sent back the old one and honour was satisfied, we had one and the supply computer had one. Simples
First instance:
Hunter leg restraint garters got a bit worn so went to stores to get another pair - only to find that they only had one in stock! On further investigation, I was informed that they came in packs of three!
Second instance:
Second day after the Argentine invasion of the Falklands, I went to stores to draw a shoulder-holster for my personal piece, only to be informed that these were “war stocks” and couldn’t be issued. Small outburst remedied that!
Last (and most amazing) instance:
As the task force headed south in 1982, all stores requests for units involved became category 1 - ie get them there asap! A couple of weeks into the conflict a gert great box arrived on board Invincible containing a brand new ASW sonar. Unfortunately this could only be fitted when the ship was in dry dock because it was below the waterline. Resulted in a large, expensive splash!
Mog
Hunter leg restraint garters got a bit worn so went to stores to get another pair - only to find that they only had one in stock! On further investigation, I was informed that they came in packs of three!
Second instance:
Second day after the Argentine invasion of the Falklands, I went to stores to draw a shoulder-holster for my personal piece, only to be informed that these were “war stocks” and couldn’t be issued. Small outburst remedied that!
Last (and most amazing) instance:
As the task force headed south in 1982, all stores requests for units involved became category 1 - ie get them there asap! A couple of weeks into the conflict a gert great box arrived on board Invincible containing a brand new ASW sonar. Unfortunately this could only be fitted when the ship was in dry dock because it was below the waterline. Resulted in a large, expensive splash!
Mog
The following 3 users liked this post by Mogwi:
It might have been an apocryphal tale, but I heard that when Winston and Clementines' engine life was looking worrying, in some hangar in the depths of an MU some crates were discovered....
On which the word 'Derwent' was noted. Full paperwork was included, so the provenance was assured! Hence rather than being consigned to a future in MRDs (Machine Runway Deicer - a double Derwent and garden shed device), the engines made their way to the RAF's last airworthy Meteors!
On which the word 'Derwent' was noted. Full paperwork was included, so the provenance was assured! Hence rather than being consigned to a future in MRDs (Machine Runway Deicer - a double Derwent and garden shed device), the engines made their way to the RAF's last airworthy Meteors!
Which reminded me of a tale I was told about one of my previous employers who (before my time) purchased a number of fighter aircraft from a European supplier and was told there was a need for specialist screwdrivers to remove panels. These special screwdrivers were very expensive and after several were "misplaced" a very observant techo tried a cheap version he had seen in a home supply shop. Worked a charm so the box packers were instructed to purchase locally available Phillips Head screwdrivers.
Gne
Might I suggest anyone interested in this read David Hill's new book "Citadel of Waste". The scale of the waste is astonishing. There's a similar tale to Mogwi's about the sonar, the RAF stores wallahs tasking a Herc to land on HMS Ark Royal half way between Hong Kong and Sydney to deliver kit that wasn't needed.
Shortly after we deplyed to the South Atlantic in 1981, we found that the shuttle had been stolen from the survival equipment section sewing machine when the ship was in refit, so we demanded a replacement shuttle. A few weeks later we arrived in Montevideo to find a large crate awaiting us. It contained an entire new sewing machine. When we asked why we were told that the shuttle was not listed as a spare part, so they had sent the next higher assembly. From that day onwards whenever the other departments couldn't get what they wanted, the cry was always, Well the wafoos can have a f...... sewing machine so why can't we have this.
A few weeks later we received a Sea Harrier ejection seat gun. Very usefull in a Wasp Flight. Curiouser and curiouser.
A few weeks later we received a Sea Harrier ejection seat gun. Very usefull in a Wasp Flight. Curiouser and curiouser.
The following users liked this post:
Know they lost an M113 in Australia. They sent it to have some work done on the engine, once the work was done the contractor contacted the unit. Somehow the message never went anywhere, they just left it in the back of the shop accumulating storage fees, every month the sent the bid to a govt and every month they paid it. It was about 6 months before someone clocked they were short an APC. After fervorishly searching someone put 2 and 2 together and worked out due to the storage fee where it was
Know the yanks lost a Humvee, it broke down on a public road, just outside a military exercise area. They left it there, some australians came past found the abandoned vehicle, only had a stuffed alternator and flat battery. So they put a new battery in and drove it somewhere for safe storage (allegedly the guys joyrided in it for a few days before it arrived) yanks left, it was a couple of months later before they went OH **** and had to fly in a C-17 to pick it up
The B1 windshield thread got me thinking off some of the ridiculous goings on in the supply system I have experienced
1) When I was the deck officer on a small ship the Buffer informed me that the ship to buoy shackle was cracked. I told him to go to the base supply depot and get a new one. He called me from the depot saying they would not give him one because they only had one and if they gave it to us they would have none. I went down to explain that this part only fit our ship so we were the only ones who would ever want it, but they were adamant that the rules required them to always have one in stock. In the end it was simpler to get the fleet maintenance facility to weld repair the old shackle over forcing the supply system to cough up the part.
1) When I was the deck officer on a small ship the Buffer informed me that the ship to buoy shackle was cracked. I told him to go to the base supply depot and get a new one. He called me from the depot saying they would not give him one because they only had one and if they gave it to us they would have none. I went down to explain that this part only fit our ship so we were the only ones who would ever want it, but they were adamant that the rules required them to always have one in stock. In the end it was simpler to get the fleet maintenance facility to weld repair the old shackle over forcing the supply system to cough up the part.
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 32,974
Received 2,871 Likes
on
1,231 Posts
IIRC Odiham at one of the hangars, the boss wanted some little link chain to hang on the white entrance posts, chain duly ordered by length and several weeks later a low loader arrived with anchor chain on the back, they refused to take it back as it had been in their way for years, so it was piled up and concrete poured over it to make up a car servicing ramp for the car club.
Sqn Ldr Ops at RAF Wattisham was being a bit arrogant demanding a 'Kojak' flashing amber light with a magnetic base for his service mini, so that he could rush around looking important.... Fortunately we had a brilliant OC Supply with a very dry sense of humour... So a few weeks later a parcel arrived at the Ops Room and the good Sqn Ldr eagerly unpacked it....only to find a standard RAFP blue light. He went into low earth orbit on the phone to Supply Wing where OC Supply went into full 'blunty' mode..."No Sir, it clearly states on your demand voucher blah, blah, blah!" After S/L Ops had seethed and ranted for a couple of hours, a lad turned up with a new box...with the amber light! Oh how we laughed when he realised that we'd all been in on the jape and that he'd been had!
Also at Wattisham I was required to check my 'Clothing Card' before being posted. Whereupon I found that it still included a Gnat-specific oxygen mask and Gnat-specific g-suit, neither of which were any use on other aircraft. I explained that not only had I handed all my Gnat AEA in when I'd left Valley 8 years earlier, but the RAF didn't even have any Gnats left - the last had left service about 3 years ago! That didn't satisfy the stores people though - they expected me to pay £LOTS! Fortunately a Flt Sgt in SCAF was also one of 'my' Anglia gliding instructors and he came up with a solution. Two 'unserviceable' labels with all the right stores references were duly produced and handed over to the storeman, who was then able to write these non-existent items off my card!
Also at Wattisham I was required to check my 'Clothing Card' before being posted. Whereupon I found that it still included a Gnat-specific oxygen mask and Gnat-specific g-suit, neither of which were any use on other aircraft. I explained that not only had I handed all my Gnat AEA in when I'd left Valley 8 years earlier, but the RAF didn't even have any Gnats left - the last had left service about 3 years ago! That didn't satisfy the stores people though - they expected me to pay £LOTS! Fortunately a Flt Sgt in SCAF was also one of 'my' Anglia gliding instructors and he came up with a solution. Two 'unserviceable' labels with all the right stores references were duly produced and handed over to the storeman, who was then able to write these non-existent items off my card!
Gentleman Aviator
If I can expand this to movers - who were sort of suppliers by trade - I must retell a tale from my first tour, 78 Sqn in Sharjah.
We flew Wessex, as did the SAR Flight at Muharraq (Bahrein), but 78 normally kept the "Command Spare" unless and until it was needed by the SAR bo(u)ys.
Which they did on one occasion when Baby Pilot Teeters got to deliver it. The SOP was to wait a couple of days to see if they got enough serviceable (enjoying the fleshpots of Bahrein) to give the spare back. If they didn't - as in this case - the delivery crew jumped on the "bus run" Argosy to go home to Sharjah.
Which meant going through Movements in flying kit....
Baby Mover: indicating Mae West "What's that??"
Teeters: "Err, a Mae West..."
BM: "No, what's that?" indicating red knob and inflation bottle.
Teeters: "CO2 bottle to inflate the jacket."
BM: "Aha - compressed gas! Dangerous Air Cargo - can't take it on board!"
So dear friends, my Mae West was so dangerous, it had to remain in Bahrein.........
You couldn't make it up...
We flew Wessex, as did the SAR Flight at Muharraq (Bahrein), but 78 normally kept the "Command Spare" unless and until it was needed by the SAR bo(u)ys.
Which they did on one occasion when Baby Pilot Teeters got to deliver it. The SOP was to wait a couple of days to see if they got enough serviceable (enjoying the fleshpots of Bahrein) to give the spare back. If they didn't - as in this case - the delivery crew jumped on the "bus run" Argosy to go home to Sharjah.
Which meant going through Movements in flying kit....
Baby Mover: indicating Mae West "What's that??"
Teeters: "Err, a Mae West..."
BM: "No, what's that?" indicating red knob and inflation bottle.
Teeters: "CO2 bottle to inflate the jacket."
BM: "Aha - compressed gas! Dangerous Air Cargo - can't take it on board!"
So dear friends, my Mae West was so dangerous, it had to remain in Bahrein.........
You couldn't make it up...
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: In the State of Denial
Posts: 1,078
Likes: 0
Received 146 Likes
on
28 Posts
Not strictly a supply issue but this did involve members of the supply branch (aka ‘movers’).
I was tasked to fly to Keflavik to collect a load that was listed as ‘priority freight’ and I would conduct training for the pilots there and back as well. The movers then said that due to ground handling restrictions at Brize Norton (the infamous ‘MOG’ - Movement on Ground) they couldn’t allow us to fly… Ops then said that we would fly the trip but empty (circa £40k/hr) thus achieving our training and another ac would be laid on to collect the load later in the week (at £40k/hr).
I suggested that this was completely absurd and spoke to OC Movements who had been one of my students many years before and the task was permitted to go ahead and collect the load.
I was tasked to fly to Keflavik to collect a load that was listed as ‘priority freight’ and I would conduct training for the pilots there and back as well. The movers then said that due to ground handling restrictions at Brize Norton (the infamous ‘MOG’ - Movement on Ground) they couldn’t allow us to fly… Ops then said that we would fly the trip but empty (circa £40k/hr) thus achieving our training and another ac would be laid on to collect the load later in the week (at £40k/hr).
I suggested that this was completely absurd and spoke to OC Movements who had been one of my students many years before and the task was permitted to go ahead and collect the load.
teeteringhead, there was almost a similar event at Akrotiri when I was on the VC10K. Some Tornado aircrew had asked if we could take them back to the UK, rather than them suffering the misery of a Hercules trip. Of course we said yes!
The Air Eng was 'Caring Ken, the Airmans' Friend' who thought that, as an ex-trucky Master Engineer, his word was always correct. "We can't bring them back - they've got miniflares in their life preservers...", quoth he, "...and that's Dangereous Air Cargo!".
Fortunately the Captain didn't have much time for shiny-fleet triv. "We're taking them AND their kit, Ken..."
"But....but".
"Anyway, Ken, WTF do you think is in the life preservers under our seats? Yes, miniflares amongst other things!"
So the Tornado AEA was duly stuffed into a couple of large gash bags and put behind the rear row of seats - and back we came, to deliver the Tornado mates to their base. Which had the added advantage of quick customs clearance rather than the tedium of our own.
The Air Eng was 'Caring Ken, the Airmans' Friend' who thought that, as an ex-trucky Master Engineer, his word was always correct. "We can't bring them back - they've got miniflares in their life preservers...", quoth he, "...and that's Dangereous Air Cargo!".
Fortunately the Captain didn't have much time for shiny-fleet triv. "We're taking them AND their kit, Ken..."
"But....but".
"Anyway, Ken, WTF do you think is in the life preservers under our seats? Yes, miniflares amongst other things!"
So the Tornado AEA was duly stuffed into a couple of large gash bags and put behind the rear row of seats - and back we came, to deliver the Tornado mates to their base. Which had the added advantage of quick customs clearance rather than the tedium of our own.
Avoid imitations
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 14,573
Received 422 Likes
on
222 Posts
After the “Atlantic Conveyor” sank, during the Falklands War, it was calculated that considering all the stores subsequently written off as on board the ship at the time, it would probably have gone down in the harbour where it was all allegedly first loaded.
Later, back in W. Germany, we couldn’t get any replacement aircrew clothing for a long time afterwards because apparently it had all gone to the sea bottom. Then some “war stock” was found. I was issued with some (rather yellowed
) aircrew long johns and long sleeved vests with labels bearing the old WD arrows and the year 1941! How we all loved those hardened rubber buttons on the flies that were too big to go through the button holes….
Later, back in W. Germany, we couldn’t get any replacement aircrew clothing for a long time afterwards because apparently it had all gone to the sea bottom. Then some “war stock” was found. I was issued with some (rather yellowed
) aircrew long johns and long sleeved vests with labels bearing the old WD arrows and the year 1941! How we all loved those hardened rubber buttons on the flies that were too big to go through the button holes…. Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
Falkland Island souvenirs….
a supply of ABDR kits was held in the Falklands, some sort of bi-metallic where two parts were mixed and moulded into place before setting. At the time, back in 1980s, wee were told they cost about £500 a pop and had a shelf life of about 1 year.
Supply was through the army so RAF orders were delivered to army in UK who shipped everything by sea via Ascension and other places enroute. Average time between order and delivery was, reputedly, about 9 months. Meaning kits were just about lifex on arrival, so more were ordered on a quarterly basis and lifex kits distributed to units to make “gozhomey” souvenirs.
.
Not sure how many were ordered at a time but the number supplied to units was plentiful. Still have my souvenir from Alice 35 years later….
a supply of ABDR kits was held in the Falklands, some sort of bi-metallic where two parts were mixed and moulded into place before setting. At the time, back in 1980s, wee were told they cost about £500 a pop and had a shelf life of about 1 year.
Supply was through the army so RAF orders were delivered to army in UK who shipped everything by sea via Ascension and other places enroute. Average time between order and delivery was, reputedly, about 9 months. Meaning kits were just about lifex on arrival, so more were ordered on a quarterly basis and lifex kits distributed to units to make “gozhomey” souvenirs.
.
Not sure how many were ordered at a time but the number supplied to units was plentiful. Still have my souvenir from Alice 35 years later….